Just found this site, and it looks awesome with all the feedback and support everyone is willing to give. I think I'm ready to take on the NC Challenge. Today is day 1:
Technically I have been broken up for close to a month. We definitely had our differences. Even though we only dated for 6 months, it felt like we dated for 6 years. When we first started dating, we had a long distance relationship. She lived in OC and I lived in SD, we would make the commute on the weekend to see each other. In between, we would also try to see each other during the week. After a month or so, she asked me if I was going to move any closer. I had been looking, but not very seriously for a new job. At that time, the job market still sucked and I didn't really want to settle.
At this time, I had been losing weight before I met her. When we started dating I had already dropped 40 pounds and was feeling pretty good. She would always tell me that I was too thin and should eat some more. And like, all relationships we just started eating and started neglecting to go to the gym. During this time, her mom decided to sell her condo and ended up moving in with my ex. Her mom instituted a rule stating that I would not be able to stay overnight since we were not married. I accepted this, so she started coming down to SD a lot more.
During the July 4th weekend, her friends decided to throw a party and we were invited to go swimming. The weight that I had lost previously had come all back. I didn't really notice it until we were all in the water and all her friends' bf were thin and muscular. That evening we had a talk about my weight. She told me that she was losing interest in me over my weight. I was so shocked since I never had anyone say this to me before. I really wanted to leave that night, but she asked for me to stay. Sure enough, I stayed till 6 am not sleeping a wink while she was passed out on the bed. So to show that I was caring, I told her that I would lose 10 pounds by the end of July. What I didn't tell her was my correct weight. I had ballooned back to 216 (I told her I was at 205). I started dedicating myself to the gym twice a day and I found a new job to be close to her. By the end of July, I was at 203 and started my new job.
Aug 1st, I had half a day at work and decided to surprise her by coming down to see her. She wasn't very thrilled and her demeanor had changed. We made it through dinner nicely, but it was after dinner that we just started fighting. Our arguments ranged from her believing that she changed from a positive person to a negative person (always nagging about my job and weight) and I was unhappy about how she had a lack of respect for my time. That evening after I came home, she called me to tell me that she wanted to break up. It was pretty late in the evening, and I was tired from waking up at 4am to go to work. I agreed and it was settled.
The next day, I was able to think about it and realized I made a mistake. I did call and email her to meet with her, but she was getting ready to go on a bachelorette party in Vegas. Not wanting to weigh her down for her trip, I did not make contact with her until she came back. When she was in Vegas, I noticed that she started adding alot of guys onto her FB page. This wasn't her normal behavior, but I did not say anything and let it be since technically we were broken up. When she came back, she said that she had a great time in Vegas and wasn't looking to hook up but "talk" to another bachelor party that was there and ended up making friends with them. She was "intrigued" by a particular guy, but said nothing would happen since he lived in Minnesota and she did not like long distance relationships. During this time, I tried to meet up with her, but only to have gotten the runaround. She gave the excuse since she, since she is a teacher, that she was busy doing teacher orientations and said that we could meet anytime after school started. So I kept my distance to give her space, and the when the day the school started, I txted her Morning and good luck and she txted me thanks and have a nice day. After work, I was about to make a call to her, but my FB status came up with a msg from a friend (nonrelated). After I looked at the msg, I looked at my ex's page and found a picture of her and the guy from Minnesota (this was already Aug 22). I didn't know what to say or do (besides driving down to her place and beating the crap out of the guy). The only thing I did was wait, the next day I saw a Instagram picture of him (shirtless) and on her bed with her dog (the only reason I saw this was because she liked the picture). That pretty much blew my mind.
I txted her good luck with the guy (sarcastically), and she txted back some bs poetry about how "two hearts were destined to meet" and whatever. What got to me was that he had been there for at least a week (with the mom there) and she is accepting that he lives in Minnesota for a long distance relationship. I've been in quite a depressed state since then.
The reason I know she is in it for the long haul, was that she also posted picture of them together on her FB page. She is usually a private person and didn't like ppl asking her about her love life (I maybe wrong about that), but to me it felt like a slap in the face. Out of respect to her when we dated, I never asked her to post a pic of us.
During the last couple of days, I had slowly started taking her out of my FB page. What I noticed was that whatever I did the previous night she did it to me the next day. So as of yesterday, I had taken her out of my FB list, and put her on the ignore list. It was a little liberating, but at the same time it hurt like hell. I have been on a couple of dates recently, but it just feels like it's a rebound thing and I'm not showing any interest.
Btw, I'm staying with going to the gym and trying to keep my weight down, just doing a lifestyle change. I try to think about all the bad stuff she did to me, but can't overlook the good stuff she has done for me.
So here is to the challenge, I hoping to make it through without any major problems. Ps - sorry this is long, I just had to get it off my chest.
