I'm now on day 43 of No Contact. She broke up with me after 4 years. Lived together for 3,5 years and even bought an apartment together.
Staying NC was easy in the beginning, but actually it's getting worse. I don't want her back, because it would never work again, but i still have strong feelings for her and she was my best friend. She has not initiated contact, and I doubt that she will. She knew that with me, when it's over it's over. I made this clear early in our relationship. You are either with me or you aren't. She is equally stubborn as me and i also think she will respect no contact. Weird though. We have spoken to eachother pretty much every day for 4 years and then nothing.
I will stay no contact. I will never contact her again. In the beginning i felt relieved, because i know deep inside that it was the right decision, but it's still sad. I was positive because i thought that i would get plates spinning and play the game and eventually find someone more compatible for me. My game is not what it used to be though, and i've had trouble getting plates. I have no current plates after almost 2 months after breaking up. And the thing is that i have been in the field alot, although mostly drunken nightgame with a shattered inner confidence and a scarcity mentality/neediness. I've tried to hide it, but it shines through somehow i think. I've slept with 2 girls after her and that has helped a bit. Atleast i'm able to get laid now and then
I have a little less than a month left to complete my 40 by 30 challenge:cheer:
I went out last night and got 2 numbers from 2 approaches. With very cute girls. One in law school and one hairdresser/student. I'm going to try to set up some dates for next week. I'll wait a few days and contact them. I need to get some plates going. My health can't take all this going out 3 times a week..hehe.
When I was out last night, I met an old co-worker. He said that my ex had hooked up or flirted with one of his friends. The guy is a major player and so she probably doesn't stand a chance. lol. I always knew she'd hook up with guys, but i don't want to hear about it or see it. She's a solid 9 on anyones scale, so i doubt she'll stay single for long. This is really irrelevant for me, because i don't know what's worse. Her hooking up with several guys or just get into a new relationship with one guy. It's not for me anymore, but it still makes me sad/angry/jealous/abandoned. After hearing this it really got me down. I went home and removed her as friend from facebook. I hadn't done that before because she is still responsible for our mortgage and she can fvck me over big time if we fall out and i can lose my apartment. I've already deleted her number and texts. I've broken no contact twice in the sense that i peeked at her profile twice after she moved out. Both times it made me feel worse. So stay away, men.
This **** is tough. I just hope i'll get some plates spinning soon. That will give me a brighter outlook on things. My life is pretty decent in other areas. I'm in good health, have a high paying job, great friends and family. I just have a deep hole after she left me, and even though i know another girl or any girl can't fill that, it will help while i continue working on my inner issues/game.
Stay NC. All you need is willpower. Be a man and be strong. Only *****es cry over women.
