boyfriend has left me
im so thankful i found this forum, my boyfriend finished with me today after 2 and half years, our relationship has been up and down, mainly due to my lack of trust and low self esteem, i suffered too with jealousy and slight controlling so you could say my boyfriend hasnt had it easy! but he is no angel and has a temper and really hurt me with terrible words! I want you to understand that how i am, i despise! and even asked seeked help and waited to see a counsellor but the process was taking to long so i tried hypnosis to try and change my behaviour as i didnt want to lose my partner, it did work to a degree but i think it was more deep routed than just curing the jealousy, i am good some days and back to square one other days,
We have really began to bicker constantly lately and now the final blow came today.. he collected his things from my house, took my phone and deleted his number from the contacts and stated he wished he had never met me and hated me =( that hurt!!!
I am the most loyal and trust worthy person and maybe thats what he loved about me but i guess the bad outweighed the good things about me =( i love him and dont know how im going to carry on my life, we had plans for the future and settle down to have a baby and get married and now thats all gone. i do have his number somewhere jotted down but i feel so degraded if i was to text when he has clearly wanted any trace of me wiped out! we both have a twitter account but bickered before and had took each other off one anothers but he can still view my account... i havent been on and he knows im always updating it every hour usually but i want to shock him! make him wonder why im not writing on there expressing my bleeding heart! i feel like i want to crawl under a rock and die! the things he said ripped me to pieces! but i dont want to lose him =( DAY 1