The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[drellum]

Day 11

I recall reading another post by a SoSuave member about spinning plates and plates not just being women.

Since the break up, a lot of those plates of mine have been job interviews and a variety of other little goals I've set for myself over the last two weeks. It really does work. Especially when you see results. (Recently scored an amazing job at a top tier firm)

I don't really think about my ex, or feel any distress anymore. I guess when you've had women cheat on you then try to commit suicide, or have your best mate (not anymore) wreck your relationship and take your partner, moving on seems pretty easy.

Sh1t man that is rough but good for you - pulling yourself together like that.

Makes my breakup look like a walk in the park. I told everyone that I know not to tell me anything about my ex - I don't want to know - not until I'm in a better place than I am now!

 

[bleedinglove]

boyfriend has left me

day 4 continued...

heard nothing from him, been thinking im doing no contact! but if he was the one who deleted his number out of MY phone and said its over.. doesnt that mean his doing no contact to me????????????


HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Advice?????


i guess he knows i could easily contact him via twitter and im almost always the one to make the first move whenever we fall out, i dont know if to contact him, he still has a couple of my things!

I hate this =( why cant he just want us to work as much as i do!!!
2 and a half yrs and his ready to give up? =(

I really believe his going to try his best to move on and has given up on me

 

[SoSuave666]

day 4 continued...

heard nothing from him, been thinking im doing no contact! but if he was the one who deleted his number out of MY phone and said its over.. doesnt that mean his doing no contact to me????????????


HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Advice?????


i guess he knows i could easily contact him via twitter and im almost always the one to make the first move whenever we fall out, i dont know if to contact him, he still has a couple of my things!

I hate this =( why cant he just want us to work as much as i do!!!
2 and a half yrs and his ready to give up? =(

I really believe his going to try his best to move on and has given up on me

Part of the fundamental problem with a relationship is that they always END. Unless you marry her/him, they are inevitably going to end. If you date 10 people in your life, you have a 10% chance of your current partner or "ex" being the one you will marry. For most of us, we date more than 10 people in our lives. This lowers the percentage that the one you are dating is "the one." Keep this is mind, Bleedinglove. Opportunities are all around, and as much as it sucks to move on, you WILL meet someone else. Stick to NC and it will heal you better than anything else. You have yet to accept the fact that it's over...and of course it will take some time to get there. 4 days of NC is nothing. Keep a journal and read older entries down the road to see how easy it was.

You'll be fine.

 

[bigbird090]

I am joining this competition due to my situation found here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1904038#post1904038

It's been three days since I last sent my text "When are you free to hangout?" -and the girl hasn't responded. It sucks cause the ball is probably in her court now?

 

[bleedinglove]

Part of the fundamental problem with a relationship is that they always END. Unless you marry her/him, they are inevitably going to end. If you date 10 people in your life, you have a 10% chance of your current partner or "ex" being the one you will marry. For most of us, we date more than 10 people in our lives. This lowers the percentage that the one you are dating is "the one." Keep this is mind, Bleedinglove. Opportunities are all around, and as much as it sucks to move on, you WILL meet someone else. Stick to NC and it will heal you better than anything else. You have yet to accept the fact that it's over...and of course it will take some time to get there. 4 days of NC is nothing. Keep a journal and read older entries down the road to see how easy it was.

You'll be fine.

soon as i seen the words move on, meet someone else... i felt my heart screaming no.....
thank you so much for your reply, i knew any reply wouldnt be what i wanted to hear but still im grateful, yes i agree 4 days is nothing in reality but to my heart its a life time, he said he wanted to marry me and have kids, we talked so much of the future that we forgot to live in the present if that makes sense, the relationship has been difficult from the start, i suppose you could call me "damaged goods" id been burnt in the past and found it hard to feel settled in relationships after that, now im reflecting he has put up with so much =( but if he truely loves me he will come back wont he?? i mean thats what they say isnt it....... =(

 

[bleedinglove]

boyfriend left me

day 4 STILL!

just done something very stupid! sent him a link on twitter to a sport he really likes but didnt write anything just sent the link, then i just crumbled when he didnt even acknowledge it! so i wrote
"it hurts to breathe because every breath proves i cant live without you"
im so angry with myself because now i feel so much worse!! =(
thats it now! im defo sticking to no contact!!!!!!

he knows now i desperatley dont want to give up on us if he doesnt come back to me now then i will accept it =(

 

[bleedinglove]

day 4 STILL!

just done something very stupid! sent him a link on twitter to a sport he really likes but didnt write anything just sent the link, then i just crumbled when he didnt even acknowledge it! so i wrote
"it hurts to breathe because every breath proves i cant live without you"
im so angry with myself because now i feel so much worse!! =(
thats it now! im defo sticking to no contact!!!!!!

he knows now i desperatley dont want to give up on us if he doesnt come back to me now then i will accept it =(

just quickly deleted the hurts to breathe speech before he would of had chance to see it.... this is all just making me have a break down!!

 

[bleedinglove]

day 4 STILL!

just done something very stupid! sent him a link on twitter to a sport he really likes but didnt write anything just sent the link, then i just crumbled when he didnt even acknowledge it! so i wrote
"it hurts to breathe because every breath proves i cant live without you"
im so angry with myself because now i feel so much worse!! =(
thats it now! im defo sticking to no contact!!!!!!

he knows now i desperatley dont want to give up on us if he doesnt come back to me now then i will accept it =(

just quickly deleted the hurts to breathe speech before he would of had chance to see it.... this is all just making me have a break down!!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

^^Damn girl, you act like your lost your mom or something. What the hell is wrong with you? Learn to live by yourself.

 

[Mk951]

To everybody, thanks for the updates, even if we don't talk, those we see this thread find it very helpful.

just quickly deleted the hurts to breathe speech before he would of had chance to see it.... this is all just making me have a break down!!

BLEEDINGLOVE, please try to stop over rationalising things, he is probably not so happy nor he did'nt forget you so easy, stop overanalyzing!

It happens because you are hurt, don't want to think about other guys? Ok, start enjoying your life, what are you doing now always at home?? Start going to walk, run, dance, drink with friends, whatever! Stop throwing yourself into the pit!

Easier said than done, but certainly not impossible!

 

[Rationale]

I told everyone that I know not to tell me anything about my ex - I don't want to know - not until I'm in a better place than I am now!

I did something similar -- just with my close friends though. I (and I imagine you) don't need the constant reminder popping up.

Cold turkey like a boss.

 

[Atom Smasher]

just quickly deleted the hurts to breathe speech before he would of had chance to see it.... this is all just making me have a break down!!

I just read your thread. It sounds like you were in a very unhealthy relationship and you were both torturing each other.

BTW, what does "a little controlling" mean?

I'm not too sure the No Contact method works equally for women. The rule was created to help men get out of damaging relationships within the context of the male/female dynamic, or secondarily to break her of her arrogance and cause her to recognize the reality of the abuse she dealt out.

I saw that you went to a hypnotist, but have you gone for counseling? It seems to me that a counselor will do you a lot more good than a forum that is geared toward men and their issues with women.

Do you have any female friends that you can talk to? Family?

It sounds like you're owning up to your faults to the best of your ability, and I give you credit for that. Most of the guys here are probably rubbing their eyes in disbelief because they know how tough I am with calling women out on their bullsh!t, of which there is an ever-flowing supply. But credit is due here.

You need to stop ruminating and start talking it out with someone. If you can't afford counseling there must be some kind of free or sliding-scale clinic around where you can blab it all out to a social worker. It would help you to get some perspective.

 

[sunlight44]

I was reading through all this post and I found a valuable information, it seems that it all comes to this video I found, if you apply it you will get what you want either your ex or o new girl

The video is in indian language I dont understand Indian but the pictures will tell you everything: If you a man or woman and you just pretend who are in the video, smile, accept the break up, find another love, make them jealose..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqjaeDlLpQc&feature=related

 

[sunlight44]

watch the video I posted above more than one time or evertime you feel low, believe me it will help, it 's from experience, I will look and see if I can find an English version and post it.

Watch the video and analyze carefully, the guy was dumped by the girl and she was with her new guy, the guy just smiled, said buy and moved on, he keep doing jis day job and socializing with other co-workers until he found that new girl who through him the pellow and then later the ex soay him with his new girl onthe bike and got jealou, she did not even say buy to her nwe guy, and I let you take it from there....

 

[Rationale]

Day 16

Was sitting down having coffee with a friend on campus today and having a good laugh about stuff we had gotten up to recently.

As we were talking, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my ex walk by, stop and stare at me for a good 10 seconds, then walk off -- I didn't look at her. About 2 minutes later she decided to come have a chat.

This was the first time since the break up that we'd seen each other and she looked really nervy. She greeted me with a peck on the cheek and me and my mate chatted to her for about 5-8 minutes where she basically probed me for information, which I happily obliged since my life is going so well at the moment (amazing new job, problem free life, blooming social life). I was my normal self, talking as if nothing had ever happened. She looked as if she didn't really know how to respond and her body language seemed as if she was scared of me or really shy. Hadn't seen her like that before.

I steered conversation back to my mate and I think she got the message that she had over stayed her welcome, so we said goodbye and she left us alone.

About 10 minutes later, she messaged me saying it was good seeing me again, blah blah, and I didn't bother replying.

Interesting turn of events to say the least. Anyone care to give an opinion on what happen?

 

[Changing13]

Rationale,

Keep up what you are doing. I guarnatee it is killing her that you are so non chalant about the whole thing. You played in perfectly in the beginning, and it is probably killing her inside that you did not "fight" for her. I don't mean to sound like a di#k and feel good about someone hurting, but, this situation could get good.

Keep ignoring all the attempts at contact. You do not owe her anything in regards to emotional support or anything else. Your situation is the way that everyone going through this kind of situation should handle this. Ever since I took the same mindset I've got some weird hoovering attempts, but, Im over it on to someone else. It kills their ego. I don't feel bad about it either.

If you weren't good enough then, then why the sudden interest now? Maybe her branch broke? Stay on course man. Keep looking for an upgrade, she proved that she isn't good enough. Good luck dude.

 

[CostaDeSol]

Keep ignoring all the attempts at contact.

this. After the run in you had with her, If it was me i might be tempted to chat her up on the phone/facebook.

But you should keep up no contact. Your doing great and no contact has been very rewarding to you.

 

[Kidquick]

Day one.

My sanity is frayed at the edges. This is going to be a rough one.

 

[Rationale]

Oww, forgot to reply.

@Changing13

Cheers dude. Yeah I know what you mean. Got no idea what her deal is, nor do I really care.

I'll admit though that I'm struggling to get back into it. I've still got this ingrained thinking that approaching women with a more.. romantic intent is bad, which I think is holding me back.

@CostaDelSol

Yeah I have no intention of re-initiating contact with her. Don't really see how it'd benefit me.

 

[staystrong]

Day, i don't know. i stopped counting. I know Day 60 because it's the same day I leave for South America Ironically. Got a awesome update for you guys who been following my ex bull!!

Anyway: Been working on me, got all brand new cloths, haircut, modeling, and doing good. Looking fresh walking up the stairs at school, guess who starts walking from the balcony to me???? Yup, my crazy ex. I'm about to reach the top and turn the corner wondering how this is going to play out.

She pops into view at the top, I slow down cuz shes right in front of me staring at me. I ty to walk around her and she says, " HEY, how are you!!" and turns her body with me every step i take. Then she throws herself on me for a hug. Hugs me tight and puts her neck and face close to mine, real close for a good solid 5 seconds. Except this time I was a man and she wasthe biitch and not the other way around.

I didn't look at her, or touch her. I didn't respond when she asked how i was, and when she hugged me, i just stood there as hard as a fuccking rock. She pulls ONLY an inch or two, looks me in the face close and says, " i dont get a hug???"

i WANTED to say A LOT OF THINGS, but... Time really has helped me realize i want nothing to do with her anymore. So I turned my head alone while she was holding onto me, looked her dead in the eyes for a good 3 seconds of silence, and said one word calmly and quietly.

"No."Then I turned my head, pulled away from her grip, and walk away.

I felt no desire to EVER get back with her, be her friend, or even see her. The only thing I FELT for her was ANGER for emotionally cheating, probably physically cheating, and telling me she loved me.


I didn't get mad and yell, or cave and sob, or act all nice and fake. I just don't care and showed it.

Funny thing is I don't really care anymore, and today's run in helped me PROVE THAT TO MYSELF FOR ONCE that I truly am over her and don't care. I wasn't sure the first 30 days, but now I know.

And unfortunately, she will probably keep doing this to guys, and worst of all to herself. I don't like to see anyone **** up their life no matter how bad they hurt me, especially someone I care about. I'm sure their are guys who believe that reading this. I do care about her and honestly hope she gets her shiit together, but she will never be a part of my life again because of what she did. These girls need to learn from their mistakes or live their life miserable and never be truly happy.

Walking away is what i did and I don't think anything else I could have said or done would have been better.

SO!!>>> I guess this is it guys. Not exactly 60 days, but I accomplished the goal and I'm an over achiever anyways so a week short is okay, ha!
The lessons I learned about me through this experience is that I need to not be so clingy, emotionally dependent, put my happiness in a girl, and be more of a man. BUT< I shouldn't change the good stuff, being funny, light hearted, being a faithful romantic boyfriend, and always being there for my partner.

I hooked up with 4 girls in 6 days earlier this month. I was being open with the one I slept with under the stars on the beach. She asked about my ex, I told her what i want out of a relationship. When I finished she looked at me and said I am going to make an awesome boyfriend to some girl one day because I want the right things out of girlfriend, then got on top of me and slept on my chest. That made me feel awesome.

Anyway, I will now focus on my trip, work, becoming independent, but most importantly, I will be much more cautious to jump into a relationship and learn to be happy alone.

For everybody who I read about at the start of this and everyone who helped me through this in the beginning with advice I jsut want to say YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HELPFUL THIS HAS BEEN. THANKYOU, SmoothNerdy, loves orphan, bullet head, Serg987, thatfeel21, Hexagram, Juan Don, So Suave666, CostaDeSol, Gray the Prince, big neil, Underground King, Changing 13, Tony Baloney, drellum.

I got a big shout out to PairPlushRoyal and PrettyBoyAJ. You two probably said the least but had the most insight for me.

All in all, I realize I can do much better, and much to my surprise, almost 60 days without her and I'm over her. I still think about her everyday, but not AT ALL like before. More like, wow your a heartless BIITCH, and a whorre, and someone who is going to crash and burn if they dont change. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT??!? not my problem, it's hers. I'm living my life now. HA

GUYS, I got 99 problems........ but a bitcch aint one. ( anymore)

South America, hot single mature women, and world I will change.. HERE I COME!

Mission for closure: Mission Complete! Peace out my brothers. I update after my cruise of fun. until then, all those still struggling: look through all my post, I did this to give insight from start to finish for others as well as me. I hope I was able to help you all as much as you helped me. Until then, Good luck.