The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cerwin Vega]

Well if she was one to like a guy who has his career together and a new house and such, then she is a fool for turning you down to seek greener pastures and such.

That was one of her arguments for breaking up:
"Look, he's a doctor, he knows what he wants from life - You're at the military, you're still just a kid", mind that she's almost 2 years younger than me.

After a short initial NC about two weeks ago (before I went full-on NC) she took it back (more like "I never said it!") and begged for us to be together...after we made out a few minutes she asked me how do I feel when we make out.
I told her "The best feeling in the world" to which she responded "I don't feel anything". That was a painful slap to the balls.

"You might think of her like a drug you can’t live without, because you've felt alive and buoyant when she was attentive, available and loving, and tortured and empty when she was indifferent, detached or cruel."

That is SO true. I think I might also be the cause of that, placing her as the center of my happiness, but what sane person goes from "I love you" to "**** you","I hate you" in a matter of minutes?

To be honest, she ruined me. 4 years ago I had a bunch of friends, was one of the "popular" kids in high school, during these 4 years I became sub-beta.

Day 11
Thinking of changing my phone # and email address.
Started working out yesterday, will go to the gym in an hour and tomorrow once more Deadlifts make you feel AWESOME.
I became more open to people. I smile a bit more. I'm friendlier.
Of course I still care about her, but a bit less, hopefully everyday.

 

[beatjunkie]

^^ @ cerwinvegafan

GLAD you finally made it to the gym. give it a week and you'll see how better off u will be. focused.

 

[Noyou]

That was one of her arguments for breaking up:
"Look, he's a doctor, he knows what he wants from life - You're at the military, you're still just a kid", mind that she's almost 2 years younger than me.

After a short initial NC about two weeks ago (before I went full-on NC) she took it back (more like "I never said it!") and begged for us to be together...after we made out a few minutes she asked me how do I feel when we make out.
I told her "The best feeling in the world" to which she responded "I don't feel anything". That was a painful slap to the balls.

1st paragraph: "You're at the military, you're still just a kid"

This ALONE tells me what kind of, and it's putting lightly, ***** she really is. She had the balls to tell you that you're a kid where the prime aspect of the military is to protect her freedoms to say the crap she said. Srsly, run the other way from this woman.
Also just because this guy is a doctor doesn't mean he has his life or career together, he could come with a serious amount of baggage. I'll say again, run

2nd paragraph: just furthers how manipulative she is. Run.

She did you a favor.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Thanks fellas, I really appreciate your replies.

Just got back from the gym, I don't know why but everyone seems friendlier! I think I changed my attitude and people around me feel it.

I want to get back into the game but on my own terms, I don't think I'm ready for a "serious relationship" yet since I'm still incapable of creating deep bonds with women at this point.

She was right about one thing. I want to experience life, I want to travel, I want to have fun, I want to meet new people, I want to improve myself in any way possible. I'm certain that I am capable of a lot of huge, great things - No, you know what, I am MEANT for huge, great things.

She said she's not like me. She said she wants a normal life, to which I answered "that is the reason why we can't be together".

Time to start living life to it's fullest. I don't know where to begin!

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

I went NC last friday after a relationship of 7 months, so I'm already on day 7 by now.

My ex and I never officially broke up actually, so technically she's still my girlfriend. But there was a lot of drama and I was sick and tired of it. When she said the following: "I need a break from this relationship, I need some space to work on myself, but I don't want to break up, just a temporary break" I decided to give her the finger and just completely drop off the face of the earth. Before I left I did say: "You're deluding yourself if you think I'm going to wait for you during your supposedly temporary break."

I haven't spoken to her since and neither did she try to contact me. My gut feeling says that her whole "temporary break" is just her pvssyfooting around the actual break up.

I have no idea what the fvck this chick is trying to accomplish here, but it doesn't matter, I'm a free man again, ready to improve myself and spin dem plates again.

Day 7, just 53 more days to go. So far it's pretty easy to cut that bish out of my life completely. Hopefully the upcoming 53 days will be just as easy.

 

[Noyou]

I went NC last friday after a relationship of 7 months, so I'm already on day 7 by now.

My ex and I never officially broke up actually, so technically she's still my girlfriend. But there was a lot of drama and I was sick and tired of it. When she said the following: "I need a break from this relationship, I need some space to work on myself, but I don't want to break up, just a temporary break" I decided to give her the finger and just completely drop off the face of the earth. Before I left I did say: "You're deluding yourself if you think I'm going to wait for you during your supposedly temporary break."

I haven't spoken to her since and neither did she try to contact me. My gut feeling says that her whole "temporary break" is just her pvssyfooting around the actual break up.

I have no idea what the fvck this chick is trying to accomplish here, but it doesn't matter, I'm a free man again, ready to improve myself and spin dem plates again.

Day 7, just 53 more days to go. So far it's pretty easy to cut that bish out of my life completely. Hopefully the upcoming 53 days will be just as easy.

There is no reasoning when it comes to this. Also don't take it a 60 day thing, you must continue NC so it makes you stronger, wiser and more powerful that she can't handle you and if she does come back, you make damn sure that you show that you are a catch and you deserve some MF'in respect.

Most people who breakup with a nice guy/gal usually don't have the capacity to hold an adult relationship, adversity, don't give any effort into a relationship or lie about what they want/who they want.

There really is no other reason to the madness we all see.

 

[Noyou]

Thanks fellas, I really appreciate your replies.

Just got back from the gym, I don't know why but everyone seems friendlier! I think I changed my attitude and people around me feel it.

I want to get back into the game but on my own terms, I don't think I'm ready for a "serious relationship" yet since I'm still incapable of creating deep bonds with women at this point.

She was right about one thing. I want to experience life, I want to travel, I want to have fun, I want to meet new people, I want to improve myself in any way possible. I'm certain that I am capable of a lot of huge, great things - No, you know what, I am MEANT for huge, great things.

She said she's not like me. She said she wants a normal life, to which I answered "that is the reason why we can't be together".

Time to start living life to it's fullest. I don't know where to begin!

Good on you, the whole, I want a normal life.....such a damn cop out. Ugh. Srsly I'm sick of hearing all these exs give horrible excuses.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 12

Posted the shoes for sale.

I wrote down the description as (translation):
Asics first hand never used! Bought as a surprise for my girlfriend. Model Tri 8 gel shock adsorbents. The shoes are great, the girlfriend is a ****. She cheated on me a week before our 4 years anniversary. The shoes are now looking for faithful feet!"

I'm not angry or upset. Kind of a way to blow off steam and have a little, bitter laugh.

 

[beatjunkie]

Day 12

Posted the shoes for sale.

I wrote down the description as (translation):
Asics first hand never used! Bought as a surprise for my girlfriend. Model Tri 8 gel shock adsorbents. The shoes are great, the girlfriend is a ****. She cheated on me a week before our 4 years anniversary. She doesn't deserve to wear them!!!"

I'm not angry or upset. Kind of a way to blow off steam and have a little, bitter laugh.

LMFAO! way to go bro! you'll be glad. Stay on this road to progress and keep yourself in the gym! check out Kris Gethin's 12 week program at bodybuilding.com

 

[Cerwin Vega]

LMFAO! way to go bro! you'll be glad. Stay on this road to progress and keep yourself in the gym! check out Kris Gethin's 12 week program at bodybuilding.com

Briefly looking into it, I find that strict workout times and meals are kind of hard when you're at the military.

I started the 5x5 program (that's what I used to do about a year ago), kind of hard on my herniated disc though.

I will look into it more closely when I'll be at home, I can't watch the videos since satellite internet sucks here in the desert.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

There is no reasoning when it comes to this. Also don't take it a 60 day thing, you must continue NC so it makes you stronger, wiser and more powerful that she can't handle you and if she does come back, you make damn sure that you show that you are a catch and you deserve some MF'in respect.

Most people who breakup with a nice guy/gal usually don't have the capacity to hold an adult relationship, adversity, don't give any effort into a relationship or lie about what they want/who they want.

There really is no other reason to the madness we all see.

Oh don't worry, I'm not planning on taking her back, ever. As far as I'm concerned this relationship is over for good. The bish trying to string me along with "temporary break" bull**** was the last straw for me.

I'm already fvcking and dating other girls, and enjoying the free single life. I'm not gonna be in another serious monogamous relationship anytime soon, fvck that ****.

 

[Colette]

Oh don't worry, I'm not planning on taking her back, ever. As far as I'm concerned this relationship is over for good. The bish trying to string me along with "temporary break" bull**** was the last straw for me.

I'm already fvcking and dating other girls, and enjoying the free single life. I'm not gonna be in another serious monogamous relationship anytime soon, fvck that ****.

you are already sleeping with other women ? hahaha you are not wasting any time , that is how you take your frustration out? make sure you are using protection.
on the other hand why are you so made at her, she probably wants a break from you to clear her head ? I don't think your relationship is dead yet.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

you are already sleeping with other women ? hahaha you are not wasting any time , that is how you take your frustration out? make sure you are using protection.
on the other hand why are you so made at her, she probably wants a break from you to clear her head ? I don't think your relationship is dead yet.

Yeah I had this chick on the back burner who clearly had in interest in me for a while now, and she was kinda waiting for me to break up with my girl. One of the first things I did after I gave my ex the finger was hitting up with that girl and spending the evening with her.

The reason why I'm mad at her is because she was treating me like trash. I'm not gonna lie, I did went a bit Beta/AFC with her when our relationship hit a rough patch, so I guess her reaction was to be expected. However, I can tell you that during that rough patch I discovered what kind of a real egocentric disrespectful b*tch she can be.

Besides, she also said crap like "this doesn't feel like a relationship anymore" and "I think we're not the right person for each other anymore". I'm not sure about you, but to me it sounds like my situation with her was pretty hopeless.

Whatever the outcome might be, I'm confident that going NC was the right decision. Maybe she'll try to contact me again, maybe she won't. Either way, I'm trying to get her out of my heart and out of my mind while spinning plates and trying to move on.

 

[Colette]

Yeah I had this chick on the back burner who clearly had in interest in me for a while now, and she was kinda waiting for me to break up with my girl. One of the first things I did after I gave my ex the finger was hitting up with that girl and spending the evening with her.

The reason why I'm mad at her is because she was treating me like trash. I'm not gonna lie, I did went a bit Beta/AFC with her when our relationship hit a rough patch, so I guess her reaction was to be expected. However, I can tell you that during that rough patch I discovered what kind of a real egocentric disrespectful b*tch she can be.

Besides, she also said crap like "this doesn't feel like a relationship anymore" and "I think we're not the right person for each other anymore". I'm not sure about you, but to me it sounds like my situation with her was pretty hopeless.

Whatever the outcome might be, I'm confident that going NC was the right decision. Maybe she'll try to contact me again, maybe she won't. Either way, I'm trying to get her out of my heart and out of my mind while spinning plates and trying to move on.

I agree with you , you should go NC and don't contact her under any circumstances. you said she treated you like a trash , how? if you guys did fight and argue , it is only normal 2 party hurt each other by treating each other like a trash . what do you expect to happen when you fight?
She told you she didn't feel it was like a relationship anymore. why did she say that? did you pay her less attention ? spend less time with her? it should be a reason she felt like that .

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

you said she treated you like a trash , how?

Not respecting my feeling while demanding I'd respect hers.

At one point our interests started to clash and we basically had an opposite opinion and opposite feeling on a certain issue. I tried to work things out with her and tried to meet her halfway, trying to find a middle ground. She did not do any of that. She almost literally told me it would be her way or the highway. I told her she could GTFO with that attitude, and I showed her the door and kicked her out. We then didn't talk for an entire week, until I tried to contact her through texting (she didn't pick up her phone) and said; "Hey babe, I guess I was a little rough with you. I'm sure we can work this out. Lets meet up on monday."

I didn't get a reply from her until 3 days later. Her reply however was completely unrelated to my request to talk on monday, and the only thing she did was b*tching about me and bringing up all the things she didn't like about me. I once again lost my temper and told her she was acting like a b*tch and if she didn't cut the crap I would break up with her. That's when she said: "if that's what you want, then do it. This already doesn't feel like a relationship anymore anyway".

I guess I should already have cut her lose right there and then, but I didn't. I insisted on answers from her. I insisted that she'd tell me what she feels and what she wants from me and this relationship (kinda ironic that not long after me asking her about her needs, she once more accused me of not listening to her and never considering her feelings, lmao, what a dumb b*tch).

However, the only answers I got from her was "I don't know." and "I don't think we're the right person for each other anymore" and eventually the "I need a break from this relationship". She then ended with "I'm not sure if you'll be seeing me on Monday". And sure enough she indeed didn't show up on Monday.

I'm not sure about you, but I find her way of dealing with this pretty childish and rather disrespectful. You'd probably think this girl is 19 years old or something, but she's actually 24 years old.

She told you she didn't feel it was like a relationship anymore. why did she say that? did you pay her less attention ? spend less time with her? it should be a reason she felt like that.

I have no clue. If anything it was her starting to pay less attention to our relationship. At first I kept giving her a lot of attention even though her attention and effort slowly faded away, then I simply answered her declining attention with equally declined attention from me. She repeatedly said that she "needed space", which I decided to give her. In the meantime I simply started spinning more plates and started working on improving myself. But whenever we did talk, she was always short with me and she had zero-tolerance for me. Whenever I made the slightest little mistake, she instantly went full-on b*tch-mode on me and she tried to "punish" me by walking away and ignoring me for the rest of that day. It happened way too often. It was really annoying. So much drama over absolutely nothing, every - single - f*cking - time. I got sick and tired of it.

I honestly think she just lost interest in me or lost romantic feelings for me, but she was just too afraid to break up. She's probably too afraid to be alone and is probably trying to find a new boyfriend before she wanted to break up with me. I mean that's what most chicks do, it wouldn't surprise me if this b*tch was doing exactly that.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Been there brother. Don't be surprised if you find her with another dude.
The minute your gut tells you something is wrong, in most cases that feeling holds truth.
I'll go further and say that once a chick changes her additude and your gut tells you something insn't right then there's another dude involved and most likely it's too late so it's best to save energy, time and effort and drop her like a stone.

In my case I was in way too deep. I laughed at the guy because I seriously didn't see him as a threat. I mean, he was sweet talking her for a month and complimenting her non stop telling her he is *waiting* for her to leave me. What a beta fvck.
I told her "you should date him. We need someone to pay for our dinner and clean our house while we have sex" only to hear "but then I'd must have sex with him too then" to which I had no answer to. Yep, it was too late. His beta words fell upon listening ears.
Fvcking slvt.

It saddens me that we must keep our guard on and be ready to replace a woman at any time as if she meant nothing to us, but I find today's female gender is to blame.

 

[Darrenez]

Reading everyone's posts on here, it does seem I am in the minority who hasn't really been done bad by my ex gf. I am on 21 days NC, however I'm not mad at my ex because she didn't do anything wrong to me..she just said she's feels she sees me more of a friend after 6 years although she still loves me.
In truth, I did let her down once in a big way in the past so I certainly can't be mad at her like some of you guys which makes it hard to do NC. I am on 21 days and haven't really heard from her,I'd like to but nothing will chance in such a short time. During the day I'm fine as I'm at work and very busy. I'm training again at the gym 5 times a week so getting fit again as helped but memories play on my mind so I have to stop thinking about them straight away otherwise I begin to feel down.
I have no option but to do NC so there really is no alternative in thinking I can win her back by contacting her because it won't change a damn thing.

 

[Colette]

Not respecting my feeling while demanding I'd respect hers.

At one point our interests started to clash and we basically had an opposite opinion and opposite feeling on a certain issue. I tried to work things out with her and tried to meet her halfway, trying to find a middle ground. She did not do any of that. She almost literally told me it would be her way or the highway. I told her she could GTFO with that attitude, and I showed her the door and kicked her out. We then didn't talk for an entire week, until I tried to contact her through texting (she didn't pick up her phone) and said; "Hey babe, I guess I was a little rough with you. I'm sure we can work this out. Lets meet up on monday."

I didn't get a reply from her until 3 days later. Her reply however was completely unrelated to my request to talk on monday, and the only thing she did was b*tching about me and bringing up all the things she didn't like about me. I once again lost my temper and told her she was acting like a b*tch and if she didn't cut the crap I would break up with her. That's when she said: "if that's what you want, then do it. This already doesn't feel like a relationship anymore anyway".

I guess I should already have cut her lose right there and then, but I didn't. I insisted on answers from her. I insisted that she'd tell me what she feels and what she wants from me and this relationship (kinda ironic that not long after me asking her about her needs, she once more accused me of not listening to her and never considering her feelings, lmao, what a dumb b*tch).

However, the only answers I got from her was "I don't know." and "I don't think we're the right person for each other anymore" and eventually the "I need a break from this relationship". She then ended with "I'm not sure if you'll be seeing me on Monday". And sure enough she indeed didn't show up on Monday.

I'm not sure about you, but I find her way of dealing with this pretty childish and rather disrespectful. You'd probably think this girl is 19 years old or something, but she's actually 24 years old.



I have no clue. If anything it was her starting to pay less attention to our relationship. At first I kept giving her a lot of attention even though her attention and effort slowly faded away, then I simply answered her declining attention with equally declined attention from me. She repeatedly said that she "needed space", which I decided to give her. In the meantime I simply started spinning more plates and started working on improving myself. But whenever we did talk, she was always short with me and she had zero-tolerance for me. Whenever I made the slightest little mistake, she instantly went full-on b*tch-mode on me and she tried to "punish" me by walking away and ignoring me for the rest of that day. It happened way too often. It was really annoying. So much drama over absolutely nothing, every - single - f*cking - time. I got sick and tired of it.

I honestly think she just lost interest in me or lost romantic feelings for me, but she was just too afraid to break up. She's probably too afraid to be alone and is probably trying to find a new boyfriend before she wanted to break up with me. I mean that's what most chicks do, it wouldn't surprise me if this b*tch was doing exactly that.

And who knows... maybe she has already found someone .
one thing I learned from my own failed relationship is not to argue important stuff over the text. text messaging is only for hi , how are you . people often misunderstand each other over texting . talking face to face is the best way to work things out.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Been there brother. Don't be surprised if you find her with another dude.
The minute your gut tells you something is wrong, in most cases that feeling holds truth.
I'll go further and say that once a chick changes additude and your gut tells you something insn't right, there's another dude involved and most likely it's too late so it's best to save energy, time and effort and drop her like a stone.

It saddens me that we must keep our guard on and be ready to replace a woman at any time as if she meant nothing to us, but I find today's female gender is to blame.

That is exactly what I was thinking as well.

To give you some extra info;

She has this beta orbiter BFF that she new for a while now. He was a real AFC, but he recently pulled a Gatsby Effect and he's acting all Alpha now (or at least trying to). He tried to pick fights with me and he tried to paint me in a bad light. I also knew he was offering himself as a shoulder to cry on to my girlfriend. He seemed like a jealous prick to me who didn't stand a chance, and I figured that no real Alpha would offer to be a girl's emotional tampon anyway. Only chumps and Beta nice-guys think that will get them laid (and it wont).

However, when her attention for me started to decline, I noticed her attention for him started to incline. At first I wasn't worried the slightest bit, but after a while I thought they where getting a little bit too cozy. Even other people thought there was something going on between the two of them.

So I forced my girl to make a choice and either stop seeing him or stop seeing me. I said: "Listen, if you want that other guy, that's fine, but then you should be a good lady and just tell me, I won't be mad at you, I will simply break up and move on to the next chick. If that's not what you want then your only other option will be to stop seeing him at least for a while."

She responded with: "You're being over dramatic, there is nothing going on between me and him, we've been friends for years, I don't see why you'd feel threatened by him all of the sudden, you're being way too insecure and you clearly have trust issues. Don't you trust me? If you don't then you might need to work on that, because a relationship without trust will never work."

So yeah, go figure.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

And who knows... maybe she has already found someone .
one thing I learned from my own failed relationship is not to argue important stuff over the text. text messaging is only for hi , how are you . people often misunderstand each other over texting . talking face to face is the best way to work things out.

I know, which is exactly what I was trying to do, but the b*tch kept flaking. I didn't have any other choice than to simply approach her through text.

Well, I had one other choice, going NC earlier. I really think I should have gone NC way earlier.