Just remember what he has done to you. Doesn't that piss you off? You are in the same position I was in 4 months ago and overthought everything. What's he/she doing? Why did he/she do it? Friends keep bringing the ex up.sparkychops said:Sorry, just an add-on. I haven't contacted or spoken to any of his family or friends since. Think this is hurting too. Whatever about his friends, but I feel like I've lost a part of my family too. They were always so good to me. ARGH so down today, which is crap because I was in such good form yesterday
IMO, you don't need an answer. She blocked you? That's good, it shows you who she really is and more than likely the sad you saw right there will get even sadder. Also good early mindset, she does need to be the one who contacts you first, but not as a friend, considering you were probably both considered "best friends."Ncnoob said:@sparky choice whatsapp is the worst thing ever, last seen kills you sometimes. my ex blocke me off it though, we had a huge fight on watsapp before we broke up with me asking her why she broke up and her continuously saying she doesnt wanna answer. She has been so cowardly its sad. No reason given. If i was unblocked off watsapp then this no contact thing would have been impossible.
The thing is i did not block her, so she can still see my last seen and my status.
Its sad to think i may never hear from her, but my mind/brain says there is light at end of the tunnel as i will be free of the pain. I promised myself i will never contact her first no matter what. If she has to come back it will be on my terms or else she can stay away.
That article describes my girl completely, she is borderline! thanks for that. It seems like she is a divorce waiting to happen. She attracted me the same way, she left me the same. Wow that was eye opening! people should read it.Noyou said:Just remember what he has done to you. Doesn't that piss you off? You are in the same position I was in 4 months ago and overthought everything. What's he/she doing? Why did he/she do it? Friends keep bringing the ex up.
More than likely you never got an answer on why the breakup happened, or if you did get one, it was drawn out in a form of a "break" with mixed messages or was short and had no message and probably had a weak ass saying like "I don't love you as much" or "I'm not attracted to you anymore"
Realize that a majority of the time, this is just a cop out.
The bottom line, he/she didn't pay you enough consideration, was selfish and decided to drop you.
I think I need to share a link with you because I think we are playing reverse roles in this, and everyone else will appreciate it as well
http://gettinbetter.com/anycost.html
I read this and completely realized what was going on during our relationship and why it happened. More than likely it was never your fault even if he/she blamed you, but the exs lack of capacity to hold onto a loving adult relationship.
I dont think she will contact me, why you ask? well she is a coward. hates confrontation. It would have been much better if she would have broken up by saying this was the problem and i wanna break up. All she said was its over, when i confronted her she had no answer and started talking baseless things.Noyou said:IMO, you don't need an answer. She blocked you? That's good, it shows you who she really is and more than likely the sad you saw right there will get even sadder. Also good early mindset, she does need to be the one who contacts you first, but not as a friend, considering you were probably both considered "best friends."
You can't be dropped From intimate status to friend status and expect to be back in intimate status, just because she wants to (and even if you want to). For example after 2 weeks after the breakuo with my ex, she contacted me before and after valentines day. Why? I thought maybe it was because she wanted to get back? Open the lines of communication? Ask how I'm doing?
Come to find out I wised up and saw that the only reason she contacted me was to
1. Keep tabs
2. Get an ego boost because the guy she was trying to get with FAILED and wasn't getting the attention she wanted that I gave"
After that her friends and such have been stalking me as well as getting friend requests from random women that I don't know.
You have to make sure when she comes back on your terms, that these terms want to facilitate change from her and not go back to the way things were, because they won't be the same. You have to distinguish if she's giving you "breadcrumbs" or the whole freaking loaf and more than likely it will be breadcrumbs.
Try to forget her and move on, then and only then you will see true changesNcnoob said:I dont think she will contact me, why you ask? well she is a coward. hates confrontation. It would have been much better if she would have broken up by saying this was the problem and i wanna break up. All she said was its over, when i confronted her she had no answer and started talking baseless things.
I would be happy if she doesnt contact me, as it will get me out of this mess.
I wanna get to 60 days without contacting her, my heart still hopes, she contacts me again but i know that no contact from her will be the best for me. Its messed up but i am making progress and hopefully soon will be in much better position.
sparkychops said:Noyou, I read this yesterday and ended up having a great day, so for that I thank you. Made me see that there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel. During the day i stayed home by myself and I was fine, albeit I was looking at internet forums about breaking up etc., but I was definitely thinking more rationally. Went to a friends then yesterday evening, of course, AGAIN he came up. I know my friends aren't dragging it up to hurt me. They're genuinely concerned because an awful lot happened. I got pregnant when we first got together and had an abortion, fought tooth and nail when he left me the first time and now I feel like it's all been thrown back in my face. So obviously my friends are going to ask. But even when I was talking to my friend last night, I didn't get upset, I was thinking the way I should have from the start.
I know you're right about him being a coward, which makes it all the more difficult, because it feels like he'll never be in touch, that he doesn't care enough etc.
However, today is day 12, and possibly going to be the most difficult one. I woke up feeling unwell in the middle of the night and he always used to look after me when I was sick (I know, I'm a whinge!!). I miss the nice texts I used to get. Thursday nights were our nights, we'd meet up after work and go off for dinner, or watch crap TV and movies. Every Thursday without fail because we work until the same time. I also have a big huge appraisal thing in work today which I'm really nervous about, so not having him to call or text about it is going to be hard. So today my rational thinking has gone out the window.
I know he's deleted his facebook, I've said it once and I'll say it again, I'd love to know why. But on Tuesday I decided that I was going to drop off the face of the Earth. (a little extreme I know) - so I haven't been online on whatsapp since Tuesday (I know people are saying just block him - it's not about him contacting me, it's gotten to a point where I don't even want him knowing I've been near my phone, and obviously he can get his friends to check), I haven't been online on Facebook (again, he'll get his friends to check) and I haven't tweeted (his best friends a twitter *****). So as far as he's concerned, I've dropped off the face of the earth.
Somedays are easy, and somedays are hard. It feels like I'll never hear from him again and that's not a nice feeling. Fingers crossed for dumpers regret :trouble: :trouble: . I think he's almost expecting me to chase him again, but at the same time he's gotten it into his mind that he won't be hearing from me. It's really sad how you can go through so much with someone and then they treat you like a stranger. Everytime I want to contact him I just remind myself of how I'll feel checking my phone every five minutes for a text back and then if I don't get one how bad I'll feel. So I'm not bothering. I shouldn't have to. He done me wrong.
Again, sorry for the long rambling post but I just know today's gonna be difficult
CerwinVegaFan said:How did you heal so fast? Last time we broke up it hit me 2 months after the breakup where it got me to a berserk mode which made me chase her like crazy and talk her into getting back.
Not going to happen again, but how to stop these madness attacks?!