The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Noyou]

Side note

In the last week I've gotten friend requests on facebook from random women, no idea who they are, with profiles made a month to 3 days ago... and I blocked my ex and her friends.

SMH, she's trying too hard to keep tabs on me.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

That is good and all but here is the thing. If you get yourself back, you put yourself at your "prime" so to speak and will get something meaningful, instead of sex. Sex is great and all but if you're looking for more than that, you need to work on yourself first and foremost. It will put everything in prospective, trust me in saying that you are selling yourself short right now by getting into another relationship that might be meaningless.

Don't be the guy who doesn't care about what comes across your path, that just means your ex was right about you in showing weakness, and word will get around eventually to her. Exs love to keep tabs

Read this part of the forum as well http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=124926

I have the luck of having an ex that is both an AW and a girl that has BPD.
and that's just the tip of my relationship iceberg, lol

I don't know what I'm looking for right now. An ego boost? Whatever it is, I know that confusing another girl won't be the answer but I do want to have sex. Sex with an any good looking girl. That won't solve my problem, but it's better than jacking off, at least you get experience and exercise.

I did not understand your concern about the ex. Why should I care what she thinks? Why would I care what any girl thinks of me?

Also, you are right about BPD. During the most course of our relationship I had to walk on eggshells just so she won't snap at me, had that whole "if only I did this thing right our relationship would be sorted out" thinking all the time, her moods wings would change more drastically with the cold shoulder and anger periods increasing every time and blaming me for everything.

BPDs are monsters. She sucked the life out of me, and now, during my recovery I feel no regerts and life seems more fluent.

 

[Noyou]

I don't know what I'm looking for right now. An ego boost? Whatever it is, I know that confusing another girl won't be the answer but I do want to have sex. Sex with an any good looking girl. That won't solve my problem, but it's better than jacking off, at least you get experience and exercise.

I did not understand your concern about the ex. Why should I care what she thinks? Why would I care what any girl thinks of me?

Also, you are right about BPD. During the most course of our relationship I had to walk on eggshells just so she won't snap at me, had that whole "if only I did this thing right our relationship would be sorted out" thinking all the time, her moods wings would change more drastically with the cold shoulder and anger periods increasing every time and blaming me for everything.

BPDs are monsters. She sucked the life out of me, and now, during my recovery I feel no regerts and life seems more fluent.

Some BPDs you don't have to walk on eggshells for, they will come to a point where you try to reason with them or talk to them like an adult about problems in the relationship and get a "I don't want to talk about it" or "You're nagging me again" and such, but when she has an issue, you damn better listen or she'll crucify you.

What's worse is that BPD people will use sex and your love to feed their ego, while casting you aside when they feel they are done / can't handle the adult relationship anymore.

I look back at it now, I should have seen that HUGE red flag that she, "left a previous relationship of 3 years just like that because the ex started using drugs"

srsly.... no one just STARTS using drugs.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

She was always pressuring me to talk, but every time she used to blame everything on me and saw nothing wrong in what she did. Even if she did the same thing to me she would say "you did it first" or change the subject and start talking about some bull**** I did years ago. God dammit, I'm so mad but yet I wanna ram that pink hole a few dozen more times. She had this tiiiny birthmark above her cl!t which was so cute.
Bad thoughts!

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Noyou and VegaMan, your exes sound exactly like my ex. I guess my ex might also be suffering from BPD without even realizing it.

Hang in tight buddies, luckily we got each other to talk with about these bishes!

Day 10 for me.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Right on!

Day 14 and going strong

 

[Dtsm3]

Only day 2, and feel like ****, woke up in the middle of the night with my head spinning with thoughts. Didn't get much sleep.

But I'm def not contacting any of them!

 

[Dtsm3]

I could really do with some advice!!!

The short term GF that I split up with last week, I have some of her stuff, which is no issue as I will return it to her friend to pass on. Saves me seeing her. But I was on holiday the week before we split up, and I bought her a gift, which I never gave her. Its of no use to me, Should I just chuck it in with her stuff?

The long term GF I have to see this Friday to agree the sale of our property and details, is this breaking the rules? I wont be talking about anything other then that.

 

[beatjunkie]

I know it's an NC thread but I'd like to share a small accomplishment.

Been talking on the phone to a female friend who is in a similar situation as I am in, BPD jealous boyfriend etc etc...I didn't tell her to leave him, I kept telling her to forget about the past and look towards what's good for her.

She knows all about my ex, I poured everything at her during the first days of the breakup...maybe I shouldn't have done it. anyway:

* Bombarded her with C&F
* some DHVs
* both shared some personal stories
* a bit more C&F (a bit too c0cky but I pulled it off nicely)
* made her qualify herself to me ("beauty is quite a common thing, what makes you different from all the beautiful girls out there?" - MM classic)
-> she DID qualify herself
* asked her out on a date
-> she said uhm maybe..but just as friends
* I immediately disqualified myself "relax we don't fit each other anyway"
-> she said "we'll see about that"
* a bit more DHV and C&F
* I told her "I hope you don't fall in love with me that quickly" (mistake?)
* anyway, she laughed her ass off during the whole convo
* I told her we would go to the go-cart park
-> she got kinda excited, said we'll have fun
* teased her around about her driving skills (I plan on a competition, winner gets a massage from the loser!)
-> she started to talk about my ex girlfriend and her boyfriend
* I tell her to forget about the past, now it's a beginning of a "new era"
-> she agreed
* end call with some more c&f (sweet dreams...you know what, I allow you only two dreams about me this night -> laughing her ass off and asking why not three)


made a few mistakes here and there (kinda big ones but not critical) but we finished the convo in a very good way with a high interest level.

This girl wants to end her relationship so badly. Maybe I'll be the rebound guy but I seriously don't care.
I am on the look for the warmth of tights, since I still cannot hold feelings yet.

And I only had sex with one girl...1 girl at 20? WTF?

First of all @Backwardsman and @Noyou thanks for the support u showd in the previous page. Reread my posts and i make sense lol

Now @CerwinVegaFan. Bro. Brooo. This is EXACTLY how i met my current ex. I was going thru a breakup and she just got dumped by fiancee. I was major dj throughout and only went AFC after the breakup. Trust.me. If you bang this new chick leave it at that and dont go back for more. Feelings will get involved and you will be back here. Please man. Learn from my pain. Tread c.a.r.e.f.u.l.l.y with this one.

 

[beatjunkie]

I could really do with some advice!!!

The short term GF that I split up with last week, I have some of her stuff, which is no issue as I will return it to her friend to pass on. Saves me seeing her. But I was on holiday the week before we split up, and I bought her a gift, which I never gave her. Its of no use to me, Should I just chuck it in with her stuff?

The long term GF I have to see this Friday to agree the sale of our property and details, is this breaking the rules? I wont be talking about anything other then that.

Short-term GF: ebay everything of hers

Longterm GF: no that is not breaking NC as long as you only talk about the sale and leave it at that

 

[Cerwin Vega]

She seems like a sweet girl, a 7/10. Maybe I am just looking for some compassion, but ultimately I want this to be just for fun, something like FWB.
How to I make it so, subtly? Told her we'd meet tomorrow.

I thought I was doing fine till I fired up my old laptop and there was this emoticon of a bear, which instantly reminded me of her on our best and most innocent times, when she used to call me Teddybear (physically I'm quite big and athletic so it's not an insult ). Can't believe she turned to such a lying, scum of earth b!tch.
I also remember I went to sleep feeling great and waking up from a dream about her.
She asked me to come to her house, so there I was standing in the hallway, seeing her after almost three weeks, when she suddenly tells me "You know what..I don't want to see you..". F**ing brain playing tricks on me.

 

[beatjunkie]

^^ Meet her and escalate quickly. If u dont smash by the second time u meet her, she's looking for something serious or an emotional tampon. If u do, make sure she knows its FWB. Personally I would try to get it tomorrow. Dont dwell too much on this, get ur a$$ to the gym.

 

[Dtsm3]

Thanks guys! Will keep you posted!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

^^ Meet her and escalate quickly. If u dont smash by the second time u meet her, she's looking for something serious or an emotional tampon. If u do, make sure she knows its FWB. Personally I would try to get it tomorrow. Dont dwell too much on this, get ur a$$ to the gym.

Two problems:
* Who pays for the go-cart ride? Should we each pay for himself or do I pay for her aswell? First date btw.
* I'm afraid to freak her out. I couldn't even look at an attractive girl a day after breakup.

 

[beatjunkie]

Go for two rides. Pay for the first and say if u win she'll pay for the second. Then win. Its not a first date, u r trying to seal the deal so dont count. After carting say (with excitement) let go back to mine watch a comedy movie and b!tch at our exes. Then make a move. Confidently.

Dont be afraid. You are genetically engineered to smash this chick. Use ur cojones bro. Worst that can happen is nothing. And so u will lose nothing. Get it? Good. Now be the MAN

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Great idea with the 2 rides. Money is pretty tight (I get paid about 120$ monthly. Ridiculous isn't it?) so I'll make sure that I win

I'll be on a day off the day after so I can stay up to pretty late. Horray!

What if she says no? God dammit I hate being on a budget.

 

[Darrenez]

anyone else have this problem??

Reading everyone's posts on here, it does seem I am in the minority who hasn't really been done bad by my ex gf. I am on 21 days NC, however I'm not mad at my ex because she didn't do anything wrong to me..she just said she's feels she sees me more of a friend after 6 years although she still loves me.
In truth, I did let her down once in a big way in the past so I certainly can't be mad at her like some of you guys which makes it hard to do NC. I am on 21 days and haven't really heard from her,I'd like to but nothing will chance in such a short time. During the day I'm fine as I'm at work and very busy. I'm training again at the gym 5 times a week so getting fit again as helped but memories play on my mind so I have to stop thinking about them straight away otherwise I begin to feel down.

I have no option but to do NC so there really is no alternative in thinking I can win her back by contacting her because it won't change a damn thing. It hurts as I do miss her and all the memories of us together and all the fun times we had.

 

[Colette]

Reading everyone's posts on here, it does seem I am in the minority who hasn't really been done bad by my ex gf. I am on 21 days NC, however I'm not mad at my ex because she didn't do anything wrong to me..she just said she's feels she sees me more of a friend after 6 years although she still loves me.
In truth, I did let her down once in a big way in the past so I certainly can't be mad at her like some of you guys which makes it hard to do NC. I am on 21 days and haven't really heard from her,I'd like to but nothing will chance in such a short time. During the day I'm fine as I'm at work and very busy. I'm training again at the gym 5 times a week so getting fit again as helped but memories play on my mind so I have to stop thinking about them straight away otherwise I begin to feel down.

I have no option but to do NC so there really is no alternative in thinking I can win her back by contacting her because it won't change a damn thing. It hurts as I do miss her and all the memories of us together and all the fun times we had.

maybe you should have been nicer to her when you guys were together. now you have 2 choice: 1- go on your knees and beg her to take you back 2- forget about her all together and learn from this.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Change of plans. I figured that calculating money is exactly what I did in my past relationship and it's a thing that suppose to belong to the past.

I will pay for a round of go-karts and tell her that loser pays for ice cream. I will try to lose, we'll get ice-cream and then suggest to head to my place to watch a movie. Of course I must KC her before we go to my place in order to release some sexual tension.

I haven't mentioned this but I have a chronic skin condition all round my pubes where skin goes blazing red and and covered with scales (scales can be removed with a proper bath).
It's not contagious at all and hopefully the military will approve the treatment soon.

If everything goes according to plan, I'll try to have sex in the dark without oral so she won't freak out because of my condition. It's really awkward to talk about it with a girl before bedding her so I just won't mention it, lol.

The ex knew me well before this condition started and she was fine with it.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Only day 2, and feel like ****, woke up in the middle of the night with my head spinning with thoughts. Didn't get much sleep.

But I'm def not contacting any of them!

The first few days are always the hardest. It will get easier when you approach the end of you first week of no NC, trust me.