instantnoodles
Don Juan
My Beloved,
Please take the time to read this carefully. It’s right from the corners of my mind and from the depths of my heart. I’m writing to you because I feel as if I have a lot to. Writing is therapeutic for me and perhaps reading this could be therapeutic for you too. You will find what I have written helpful to you. Maybe you can use this to help me, to help us. Keep an open mind.
First of all, I did some quiet thinking. I wrote out my thoughts on another piece of paper. I would like to say I’m sorry for this morning. Here is the thing; the things you write in your journal confuse me because I’m scared to lose the person I fell in love with. Where is the guy that saved me ? Where is the guy I fell in love with? Here and today , I see someone confusing. It’s killing me. I need that guy back. I want to know I still have him. I’m scared I might lose you to the guy you were yesterday (meaning, the past). To be honest, this fear started this summer. Maybe you can help me with this. I’m scared to be hurt because the last time I gave you my heart, mistakes happened. I guess it was bad timing too, right? In all honesty, I have my fears and it’s always laced with panic and worry because I want to give you all of myself and never in pieces. This is something very big to do. I have learned this from you.
Second of all, I guess the past really hurts me and I’m sorry it’s been difficult for me. You helped me through most of it and I sincerely thank you for that. One day I’ll get rid of that just for you. I want to be the best for you. I really feel guilty for his morning. I guess I really don’t have the heart to mean what I said for real. But what happened was a flashback in my head and I guess the anger ( the flash bulb memory, as it is usually called) skimmed through my mind. We never and hardly fight plus I never want to with you. It would tear me apart and kill me slowly inside. I feel like the only cure for me in this world is you – as twisted as it sounds. I feel like once I get you, my life will be happier. You will be my sunshine. So don’t leave me.
It’s been exactly one year, 2 days ago that I met you. I don’t regret it. My cousin who is also my best friend has helped me a lot and I’d like to thank him. Blood in the family means nothing unless there’s loyalty and he’s the perfect example of that. He told me to "fight for what you love and never let go unless you need to and I’m sure you’re smart enough to know when to, S". I believe him and I will do just that. He also told me to be careful of being too tolerant of a guy…but then again it can be mistakened for my easy-goingness and unconditional love.
You’re a gorgeous guy, you’re highly intelligent and you’re just like me; people usually say opposites attract but now I think like attracts like because it’s as though you’re my long lost soulmate – my other missing half. It’s fascinating to see someone just like me. It’s like no one can fill this void unless it’s you. You complete me in every way. I know that when I forgive you, I will feel great; I will know for sure you are the one love of my life. My first kiss and my last. I guess my first kiss really left a print on my heart and life. I never want to kiss anyone else because I love that feeling of your lips lingering on mine, in a spiritual sense since you are not with me now. When you hold me, all that is bad (my life isn’t so bad just a little stress from my new school) vanishes and I am left with my lovely strong Guardian Angel.
I care about you very much, I wish you knew. Your pain is my pain and your happiness is my relief, my smile. I hated the unmentionable that happened earlier this year. I hated to see you depressed, it broke my heart. Hope you did well in school because I prayed for you.
I hope the following doesn’t scare you but it’s true . I can’t even bear the thought of stupid NC. I don’t’ want to ever be without you. Without you I am nothing. Nothing at all. With you, I am strong.. I hate NC because it keeps me apart from the one person I need.
This is my gift to you - my heart and my soul too. After all, I couldn’t keep them because they’ll always belong to you. I’m trusting you not to break it again….
I’m going to start now. I’m going to get rid of the past and never remember it again for the rest of my life just for you. The only thing I will remember is that I gave my V to you. And hopefully I can feel good again, so that I will be glad I gave it to you. I feel like you deserve this for how you’ve been there for me. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. My heart is telling me – no, demanding me , to forgive you completely in every crevice and corner of my soul. I'll give you all of my love. I’ll do this for you, my beloved…as long as you come into my life for real. Be with me. (Do I have to grab you in my arms, hold your face and tell you repeatedly, "be with me" between my passionate kisses...)
I’m also going to fold this letter, include it with a kiss and seal it using the tears from my eyes. I hope you can read this and keep me in your thoughts
Now if this is how you truly feel with your negative thoughts or negative view on life, I’m willing to push aside the past and help you. I’ll do anything for you. I love you … til death do us apart - even beyond death, I will love you,
-S.
P.S Hope to visit you in my dreams tonight but hopefully in reality too. . I would’ve read this to you on a hot summer night, under a full moon, us sitting in our favourite tree near by the beach… maybe one day I can.
P.S.S - can I make a vow to you? I'll never leave you. I haven't left even yet, my loyalty is strong for you. I'll seal my vow when I see you, with a kiss on your lips.
Please take the time to read this carefully. It’s right from the corners of my mind and from the depths of my heart. I’m writing to you because I feel as if I have a lot to. Writing is therapeutic for me and perhaps reading this could be therapeutic for you too. You will find what I have written helpful to you. Maybe you can use this to help me, to help us. Keep an open mind.
First of all, I did some quiet thinking. I wrote out my thoughts on another piece of paper. I would like to say I’m sorry for this morning. Here is the thing; the things you write in your journal confuse me because I’m scared to lose the person I fell in love with. Where is the guy that saved me ? Where is the guy I fell in love with? Here and today , I see someone confusing. It’s killing me. I need that guy back. I want to know I still have him. I’m scared I might lose you to the guy you were yesterday (meaning, the past). To be honest, this fear started this summer. Maybe you can help me with this. I’m scared to be hurt because the last time I gave you my heart, mistakes happened. I guess it was bad timing too, right? In all honesty, I have my fears and it’s always laced with panic and worry because I want to give you all of myself and never in pieces. This is something very big to do. I have learned this from you.
Second of all, I guess the past really hurts me and I’m sorry it’s been difficult for me. You helped me through most of it and I sincerely thank you for that. One day I’ll get rid of that just for you. I want to be the best for you. I really feel guilty for his morning. I guess I really don’t have the heart to mean what I said for real. But what happened was a flashback in my head and I guess the anger ( the flash bulb memory, as it is usually called) skimmed through my mind. We never and hardly fight plus I never want to with you. It would tear me apart and kill me slowly inside. I feel like the only cure for me in this world is you – as twisted as it sounds. I feel like once I get you, my life will be happier. You will be my sunshine. So don’t leave me.
It’s been exactly one year, 2 days ago that I met you. I don’t regret it. My cousin who is also my best friend has helped me a lot and I’d like to thank him. Blood in the family means nothing unless there’s loyalty and he’s the perfect example of that. He told me to "fight for what you love and never let go unless you need to and I’m sure you’re smart enough to know when to, S". I believe him and I will do just that. He also told me to be careful of being too tolerant of a guy…but then again it can be mistakened for my easy-goingness and unconditional love.
You’re a gorgeous guy, you’re highly intelligent and you’re just like me; people usually say opposites attract but now I think like attracts like because it’s as though you’re my long lost soulmate – my other missing half. It’s fascinating to see someone just like me. It’s like no one can fill this void unless it’s you. You complete me in every way. I know that when I forgive you, I will feel great; I will know for sure you are the one love of my life. My first kiss and my last. I guess my first kiss really left a print on my heart and life. I never want to kiss anyone else because I love that feeling of your lips lingering on mine, in a spiritual sense since you are not with me now. When you hold me, all that is bad (my life isn’t so bad just a little stress from my new school) vanishes and I am left with my lovely strong Guardian Angel.
I care about you very much, I wish you knew. Your pain is my pain and your happiness is my relief, my smile. I hated the unmentionable that happened earlier this year. I hated to see you depressed, it broke my heart. Hope you did well in school because I prayed for you.
I hope the following doesn’t scare you but it’s true . I can’t even bear the thought of stupid NC. I don’t’ want to ever be without you. Without you I am nothing. Nothing at all. With you, I am strong.. I hate NC because it keeps me apart from the one person I need.
This is my gift to you - my heart and my soul too. After all, I couldn’t keep them because they’ll always belong to you. I’m trusting you not to break it again….
I’m going to start now. I’m going to get rid of the past and never remember it again for the rest of my life just for you. The only thing I will remember is that I gave my V to you. And hopefully I can feel good again, so that I will be glad I gave it to you. I feel like you deserve this for how you’ve been there for me. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. My heart is telling me – no, demanding me , to forgive you completely in every crevice and corner of my soul. I'll give you all of my love. I’ll do this for you, my beloved…as long as you come into my life for real. Be with me. (Do I have to grab you in my arms, hold your face and tell you repeatedly, "be with me" between my passionate kisses...)
I’m also going to fold this letter, include it with a kiss and seal it using the tears from my eyes. I hope you can read this and keep me in your thoughts
Now if this is how you truly feel with your negative thoughts or negative view on life, I’m willing to push aside the past and help you. I’ll do anything for you. I love you … til death do us apart - even beyond death, I will love you,
-S.
P.S Hope to visit you in my dreams tonight but hopefully in reality too. . I would’ve read this to you on a hot summer night, under a full moon, us sitting in our favourite tree near by the beach… maybe one day I can.
P.S.S - can I make a vow to you? I'll never leave you. I haven't left even yet, my loyalty is strong for you. I'll seal my vow when I see you, with a kiss on your lips.