Post the link to your online dating profile here and have it critiqued.

[al77]

Originally posted by Abbott

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/cool_cat_ben
(cool_cat_ben)

http://www.match.com/profile/showpr...UID=eXC1wD1u53phMylyWvx/QQ==&Handle=iamabbott
(iamabbott)

Questions:

Would it be a good idea to not tell them my religious views? My Atheism is something that has freaked people out before.

I'm ideally looking for thin, high-maintenance girls. Should I say so in my profile?

1. Get better pics.. you know that, I cannot even see your face.. don't hide it.
2. You said some many "no", "not" in you profile, it doesnt contribute to a attarctive positive image. Cut on those Nos...
3. Consider making your profile shorter.
4. Do not advertise your atheism, unless you go to a church of atheism and yoru faith is important to you It is a turn off for women.
5. high-maintanence? What do you mean by that? It is not clear.. so I would not advice you to mention it at all.
6. do you really want someone who is 6'6''?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

And by the way, that attracts all women, not just shallow ones. it's human nature to want an attractive partner, there is nothing wrong with it.

The fact is, if you weren't attracted to the girl, but she had an amazing profile, would you go for her? If you answered yes, then you my friend represent a minority. And you know what, women think the same way.

If you want to get her attention and attract her, a killer body will get your farther then 2 pages of you buttering your own balls with words.

Lets see: if I spot a women's profile and she's got nice boobs...do you think I will immediately get attracted to her and send her an email??? She's got nice boobs, yeah... but for me personaly it doesnt matter at all. Again, if if matter for you so much, than your advice is valid for sombody who share your views.

If I don't find her attractive, sure the profile wont change it. And what is the point?

Yes, the great body will attract. But who??? Someboby who is shallow.... I dont mind, if you want to deal with party girl types go for it.
What really attract people is "chemistry",we cannot change it no matter how much we work out.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

I completely understand, but what do you have to gain by postponing letting someone know?

Don't you think it's funny that people who profess to be very religious are usually the ones that can't accept apposing views?

I think that advertising turn off is not going to do any good for anyone. Atheism is a turn off, isn't it?

Some people have a tolerance for it if you dont bring it up, later they will accept that "you don't go to church". But if you bring it up
they may think you dont even respect common sense of society...
I guess a lot of women are like that.
Honesty in our "flaws" wont attract them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Abbott
...I wouldn't say that it's funny, as it makes perfect sense to me. But I have discovered that the very religious types are generally the least accepting. I probably broke my mother's heart when I annouced to her that I'm an Atheist, but since I'm her son there's nothing that she can do about it (apart from disowning me, and that's something that she'd never do). She probably is still hoping that I'll turn around, "see the light," and be "saved" (has it ever occured to any of these people that perhaps some of us don't want to be "saved?").


Ben

Recently a minister stopped me in a store while shopping and told me that she was destined to talk to me. "Here we go" I said to myself. She gave a typical religious talk professing that we were all sinners and that unless we repent, we wouldn't go to heaven. I told her that from all the stories I had heard about God, he is benevolent and would not deny anyone to heaven and that such feelings separatism is typically the vice of humans.

Needless to say I caught her off guard so she asks me wouldn't I want to go to a better place after I die. I tell her that I'm happy and satisfied with my life as it is and what I have in it and again the want for more is typically considered a vice of humans. Needless to say she left a little frustrated.

What I'm saying is that I have no ill feelings for these people. They have every right to feel the way that they do. But I won't spend time worrying about how they feel about me and my beliefs. It's a wasted effort in my opinion so why change who you are just for acceptance from a group who has different beliefs?

 

[MindOverMatter]

You are being funny. If you are into party girls species, sure, then six pack would do that. You will attract girls who a) very superficial b) not very loyal. If that is what you want, then yeah.. it will work as you said

Are you kidding me? You are basically saying that just because a girl is physically attracted to you and wants to talk to you, she is a shallow party girl? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You said in a post bellow that if you don't find her attractive, her profile wont change it, so that means you're a shallow party type then too right?

If you stereotype women like this all the time, it's no wonder you're forced to find a date online. It's human nature for both genders to look for attractive mates. I don't see how that correlates to being a party type.

Originally posted by al77
Lets see: if I spot a women's profile and she's got nice boobs...do you think I will immediately get attracted to her and send her an email??? She's got nice boobs, yeah... but for me personaly it doesnt matter at all. Again, if if matter for you so much, than your advice is valid for sombody who share your views.

If I don't find her attractive, sure the profile wont change it. And what is the point?

Yes, the great body will attract. But who??? Someboby who is shallow.... I dont mind, if you want to deal with party girl types go for it.
What really attract people is "chemistry",we cannot change it no matter how much we work out.

Ok, lets talk about that. Each guy looks for different things in a girl when it comes to looks. Some look for boobs, some look for a nice face, nice ass, legs, whatever. My point was, if she's attractive, and her photographs make you think that too, all she really needs to write is a friendly paragraph or two to let you know she's not a stuck up b!tch. And that girl will get more hits (even tho you may not message her because you think she's a shallow party girl), then your bellow average looking slob of a chick with 2 pages of her life story.

As for chemistry, yes you are right. But you don't develop chemistry over a profile. You develop chemistry when you meet in person, and actually TALK. You know, looking her in the eyes, using the right tone of voice, smiling at the right time, talking about common subjects, making her believe you are the male version of her in every aspect, having a good time.

Ok, that aside. I have dabbled in the online dating thing for about 2 months last year, and ALL of the girls I ended up meeting were not party types. One was very very shy and down to earth (you couldn't tell that from her profile) and was very domestic (would come over when I was sick and make me breakfast for example). Were they shallow? No, because they didn't want to be with me just because of my looks. When they met me in person, that's when they decided to be with me. My photographs/2 paragraphs just piqued their interest, and my real life personality made the sale.

Saying that being in top physical shape and marketing it in your profile will only attract party hos is ridiculous. The more of a prize you are, the more women you will attract.

 

[sux2bu]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
A six pack will get you farther then flowery writting.

Exactly, just look at this chump:

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=311783

Plus, he PLAYS A GUITAR IN A BAND.

His writing still is for sh|t and he comes off as being insecure, but he pulls girls like mad. Look at his comments people leave him.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by sux2bu
Exactly, just look at this chump:

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=311783

Plus, he PLAYS A GUITAR IN A BAND.

His writing still is for sh|t and he comes off as being insecure, but he pulls girls like mad. Look at his comments people leave him.

But what he lacks in written creativity which invokes women emotionally, the fact that he's a musician makes up for it. Think about it, we've seen many musicians that have little going for them other than that but yet they get the women.

Stimulate a woman's mind and you will go much further than if you just visually stimulate her. Women aren't like men, they need more than just seeing a pretty face or body to really blow them away.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Women aren't like men, they need more than just seeing a pretty face or body to really blow them away

Keep telling yourself that! Women are just as visual as we are.

 

[sux2bu]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
But what he lacks in written creativity which invokes women emotionally, the fact that he's a musician makes up for it. Think about it, we've seen many musicians that have little going for them other than that but yet they get the women.

Stimulate a woman's mind and you will go much further than if you just visually stimulate her. Women aren't like men, they need more than just seeing a pretty face or body to really blow them away.

Well put! The guy is not that really attractive, either. If you read his latest blog entry, you can see how he's portraying to be an AFC loser that can't find a girl and naturally girls eat this up.

The dude is almost a DJ and he doesn't even know it.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

1. You are basically saying that just because a girl is physically attracted to you and wants to talk to you, she is a shallow party girl?

2. You said in a post bellow that if you don't find her attractive, her profile wont change it, so that means you're a shallow party type then too right?

3. My point was, if she's attractive, and her photographs make you think that too, all she really needs to write is a friendly paragraph or two to let you know she's not a stuck up b!tch. And that girl will get more hits (even tho you may not message her because you think she's a shallow party girl), then your bellow average looking slob of a chick with 2 pages of her life story.

4. As for chemistry, yes you are right. But you don't develop chemistry over a profile. You develop chemistry when you meet in person, and actually TALK.

5. Saying that being in top physical shape and marketing it in your profile will only attract party hos is ridiculous. The more of a prize you are, the more women you will attract.

1. No I am not saying that. What I am saying is if she is MAINLY attracted to male six pack, she is shallow, and I would not want to deal with her.

2. By "I am attracted to her" I mean "chemistry", her face, her body type...but one part doesn't mean anything to me: if he is blond, or lean, or have super legs, or huge boobs.. or awesome hair.. it doesnt mean anything to me.

3. That is right, I agree.

4. You look at a pic, and if you can see her face close enough sometime you can say "I like her.. seem she's got good "chemistry". Sure it can be a totally different matter in reality.

5. You are saying six pack attract women. I say, they do, but they attract wrong women (shallow). Then you say " if she's attractive, and her photographs make you think that too, ".
C'mon man, you gotta say at least "Her boobs" or "her legs" since you mention only male six pack.
So it will be the same: if a guy is attracted to a woman based only on her legs.. or boobs, he is very shallow. This "relationship" doesn't have a good future.

Again, if you are ok with ONS, ok with party girls then yes - six pack is the way to go.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't forget that you don't have to have only one of the qualities, it's alright to have both. Personally I enjoy having them both and then some.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by sux2bu
Exactly, just look at this chump:

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=311783

Plus, he PLAYS A GUITAR IN A BAND.

....he pulls girls like mad.

Check out what kind of girls like him: 16 y.o. girls! At that age most girl think only at two categories "cool" and "not cool".. occasionally "where we would get more cool things"...
They are very superficial at that age, sure somebody like him can easily attract them.

 

[MinusoneAFC]

Online profile

Let me know what you think. http://www.match.com/home/myhome.aspx?lid=1000005

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Online profile

Originally posted by MinusoneAFC
Let me know what you think. http://www.match.com/home/myhome.aspx?lid=1000005

You posted your personal HOME link instead of the personal. What's your screen name?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Wow

I salute you guys. Most of my profiles have always been like 1-2 paragraphs, 8-10 photos, and I've always gotten lots of feedback.

If internet is your chosen venue, then I recommend you hit the gym. A six pack will get you farther then flowery writting.

Just as a followup, here's another example of the type of responses I get every week or so for my personal...

Date Received:May 11
Subject: Great Profile!

I figure I will never meet you since you're about 2000 miles away, but I wanted to tell you I think you have an awesome profile! And your screen name is just too funny! I hope those MN girls are responding favorably to your profile, because you deserve it!

Monique

I replied with simple thank-you note plus a flirt or two since she was a cutie. I was surprised that she replied to my email. We've traded a couple of emails and she's tossed out jokingly (I think) that she hasn't been to Minnesota and wants to go to the Mall of America to buy shoes and to have lunch with me. THE WOMAN LIVES IN PHOENIX!

I replied that she should give me a call when she's in the airport waiting to board on her flight to Minneapolis. She fvcking agreed. We'll see...

Never underestimate the power of the written word....

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
.....that she hasn't been to Minnesota and wants to go to the Mall of America to buy shoes and to have lunch with me. THE WOMAN LIVES IN PHOENIX!

I replied that she should give me a call when she's in the airport waiting to board on her flight to Minneapolis. She fvcking agreed. We'll see...

well. I dont doubt you have a great profile.. by the way, it would be good to see it..

But. Lets think about her (not the profile). What kind of woman would want to fly from Phoenix to MN? Probably somebody who
NEEDS to fly there.. for work, to see relatives...friends.
Why not to combine it with a free dinner from some nice looking MN men?

Another possibility: she doesn need to see anyone else exepct you. Ok. Can you imagine how desperate she is? She is willing to fly.. pay probably $400-500 for the trip only to see a nice looking guy with a good profile? Phoenix is not a small town... and if she didn't find decent men there.. and looking all over the country... welll... she has her share of problems. The point is that she is very problematic girl.

Anyway, it is just a speculation to warn you.
You will see... will you tell us about the meeting?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
well. I dont doubt you have a great profile.. by the way, it would be good to see it..

But. Lets think about her (not the profile). What kind of woman would want to fly from Phoenix to MN? Probably somebody who
NEEDS to fly there.. for work, to see relatives...friends.
Why not to combine it with a free dinner from some nice looking MN men?

Another possibility: she doesn need to see anyone else exepct you. Ok. Can you imagine how desperate she is? She is willing to fly.. pay probably $400-500 for the trip only to see a nice looking guy with a good profile? Phoenix is not a small town... and if she didn't find decent men there.. and looking all over the country... welll... she has her share of problems. The point is that she is very problematic girl.

Anyway, it is just a speculation to warn you.
You will see... will you tell us about the meeting?

There's truth in all of what you said. She's already told me that guys in Phoenix seem to be intimidated by her. I can sympathize with her because it's pretty much the same here with native Minnesota women. I'm come to accept that the woman that will make me honest may live here but was born on either of the coasts of abroad; probably Spain or Italy.

Guys seem to be afraid of her because she's a lawyer and competitive runner. She has a couple of Lexus' and a couple of homes (I've seen pictures of her with all of these things plus some more). Esthetically she's my type; thin green eyed brunette with killer calves. Yeah, I guess I could take her out for coffee IF she turns up here. I tend not to over plan on speculation, I wait until the actual moment merits it.

When I traveled more frequently for work I always met women that eventually came to Minnesota to hang out with me so this wouldn't be anything new. It'll be different because typically there is more time to build rapport before they decide to visit.

Either way, I'm not expecting anything. They were just words and we all know that the only way to truly know what a woman means is not by what they say; but by what they do.

 

[MinusoneAFC]

Review my online profile

Match.com username catchthemystery, below is text verison as well

Sane, Brilliant, healthy, and super good looking…….

Yes I own a striped shirt but I know how to wear, inside out. About me. I usually read the last chapter of the book first so I know how it ends, but if you got the cliff notes cough ’em up. I check the mail in my Calvin Klein boxers, gotta practice my runway moves for GQ magazine. I’m sure I have a dozen movie and library fines in at least 20 states. I consider myself sane, healthy, smart, brilliant, super good looking... . I work for a software company providing marketing solutions and strategic consulting and can’t believe I get paid to do this..,LOL I believe women want a guy to take it slow and want a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, just little bit, go on get down with your bad self. Also a little romance and affection sprinkled with dash of charm never seemed to hurt me with the ladies. Email me if want to peel back the covers…….to get to know me, what were you thinking ;-)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Review my online profile

Originally posted by MinusoneAFC
Match.com username catchthemystery, below is text verison as well

Sane, Brilliant, healthy, and super good looking…….

Yes I own a striped shirt but I know how to wear, inside out. About me. I usually read the last chapter of the book first so I know how it ends, but if you got the cliff notes cough ’em up. I check the mail in my Calvin Klein boxers, gotta practice my runway moves for GQ magazine. I’m sure I have a dozen movie and library fines in at least 20 states. I consider myself sane, healthy, smart, brilliant, super good looking... . I work for a software company providing marketing solutions and strategic consulting and can’t believe I get paid to do this..,LOL I believe women want a guy to take it slow and want a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, just little bit, go on get down with your bad self. Also a little romance and affection sprinkled with dash of charm never seemed to hurt me with the ladies. Email me if want to peel back the covers…….to get to know me, what were you thinking ;-)

Before I jump the gun and critique your profile; could you post a description of the type of woman you'd like to meet? It may explain a few things.

 

[MinusoneAFC]

Type of girl

At this point I am not looking for anything serious, just got out STR, woudn't mind a HB 8 or 9 around 25-28. Good personality, likes to laugh and have fun, not the serious uptight *****y kind. Does that help.