Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I completely understand, but what do you have to gain by postponing letting someone know? Do you lie about it until then? How would you explain yourself when the right time comes up?
Perhaps you misunderstood me. I said that I make a point of not bringing up the topic of religion. I did not say that when asked, I won't talk about it. If someone asks me about it, I will give them a straight, no B.S. answer. Lying is something that I generally avoid.
I figure that I may potentially have something to gain because of certain stereotypes associated with Atheism that I can prove wrong, before I tell them.
I'm not going to talk about the religion itself, just the stereotypes associated with it.
Here's a few such stereotypes:
1) One friend of mine suggested that saying "Atheist" may attract "gothics," which I don't want.
2) Some people think that Atheists have no morals, so she may think I'm a bad person (probably only if she's ultra-religious, in which case she isn't my type anyway).
3) Some people become annoyed when they learn of an Atheist in their presence (in a similar way that some people are scared to be in the presence of someone who's doing drugs). It really hits a nerve when they learn that someone else thinks that their core beliefs are wrong (not that it should matter to them what I think...but I digress). In some extreme cases this may result in simply not talking to the person anymore.
If I tell it upfront, I'd have to hope that if she's even a little bit religious, she'll also have to be open-minded enough right away to accept it and still like me (without my proving that I'm a cool guy). Now hopefully she isn't religious (like many girls who party), or is herself an atheist or agnostic (this isn't likely). In some ways, it'd be good as it'd weed out those who aren't open-minded right away, but at the same time it might prevent me from meeting someone who can accept it after she knows that the negative stereotypes don't apply in my case. So I don't know if it's a good idea to tell right away or not, as there are pros and cons to both.
Also, I've discovered that if I talk to people face-to-face, most of them never talk about religion anyway so it's a non-issue. Perhaps it's the same with online profiles, although if I see a blank, I wonder why they left it blank. I wouldn't be surprised if women think the same way.
Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I've come to accept that religious zealots won't waver what so ever. The funny thing is that I've found some women that are the same way on political issues too, go figure.
The fact is that it's not necessarily about who's right and who's wrong but the main thing is acceptance. Don't you think it's funny that people who profess to be very religious are usually the ones that can't accept apposing views?
What a strange world we live in....
It's true what you say. Politics and religion are the two things that people are most likely to be very touchy about. I rarely talk about either, unless I know for a fact the other person is on the same page (or the next page) as I am. Even then, I don't usually wish to discuss those things, as they are heavy topics, especially when there's disagreement.
I wouldn't say that it's funny, as it makes perfect sense to me. But I have discovered that the very religious types are generally the least accepting. I probably broke my mother's heart when I annouced to her that I'm an Atheist, but since I'm her son there's nothing that she can do about it (apart from disowning me, and that's something that she'd never do). She probably is still hoping that I'll turn around, "see the light," and be "saved" (has it ever occured to any of these people that perhaps some of us don't want to be "saved?").
Ben
