Post the link to your online dating profile here and have it critiqued.

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Consider this, the mind is a positive mechanism in that you can not tell it not to do something.

Exactlly! I am aware of that, thats why I said
"I am not a good cook especially without a book, I am not a big fan of tv+sports+beer combination"... so what does the mind read? ...a good cook, ..a book, ...a fan... sports, ...beer ...TV. Is there anything really negative in this list that actually the mind reads?

I'll get rid of "cook" part though. I don't argue that if you can make a better impact with some better activities, you should do it. The thing is I don't have any impressive sports hobbies, what I had, I stated in the profile about tennis and mountain climbing: I tried it, but do not do it regularly, so I didn't want to give a false impression that I was a pro in those activities.

You said: "I'm active, I enjoy being fit and I enjoy being able to go anywhere there is a road by using only my own power".
If you just want to say you are athletic and in shape - that woudl do. But you immediately blend with others "I am active, I enjoy being fit".. I did a search on these words: many many guys says similiar things. But I was not able to find guys who says "I dont like tv+beer+sports"... this is my little advatange, being not as most guys in the ad with very mild not positive effects, that actually make the profile more realistic and sincere.

I mean dont you think smart women would not appreciate that?
Sure, for those who grew up watching TV commericlas and cannot think out of that TV box, sure what you said will apply. But do I really want to deal with so average Jane who believe in TV as a reliable source of information?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
Tell me what you guys think.

I liked your previous pic better: there was a better angle. Don't change it.

"... got lots of hobbies and interests and if ya wanna know just ask me!"

So what exactly your hobbies are all about? at least what kind? Give some specifics...or at least hints.
"if ya wanna know just ask me" - sounds a little bit doubtfull...it sounds like "If you are interested in me..." why do you assume she is not interested? Just don't show this kind of doubt.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
...You said: "I'm active, I enjoy being fit and I enjoy being able to go anywhere there is a road by using only my own power".
If you just want to say you are athletic and in shape - that woudl do. But you immediately blend with others "I am active, I enjoy being fit".. I did a search on these words: many many guys says similiar things. But I was not able to find guys who says "I dont like tv+beer+sports"... this is my little advatange, being not as most guys in the ad with very mild not positive effects, that actually make the profile more realistic and sincere.

I mean dont you think smart women would not appreciate that?
Sure, for those who grew up watching TV commericlas and cannot think out of that TV box, sure what you said will apply. But do I really want to deal with so average Jane who believe in TV as a reliable source of information?

Saying "I'm active" could mean a lot of things to different people. It's pretty ambiguous. I learned that from meeting a woman who professed she was a active cyclist too. We agreed to go on a short, brisk ride. Her idea for a short brisk ride was a 5 mile ride around one of our local lakes at 8 miles an hour. My idea was a 20 mile ride at about 18 miles an hour, big difference.

Another thing that I suggest is to use descriptive photographs. Again with my interest in cycling, I have a picture of me in my racing tights with my bike along with one with me careening through a forest on my mountain bike. With those photos there little ambiguity whether I'm an avid cyclist or not. Plus it readily shows that by body type is athletic and toned (ideas of body image are very subjective and pictures alleviates any perceived ambiguity).

As for your question of what women appreciate, I agree with you. But we all know that while women embellish the truth, men outright lie. It's easy for a guy to say the words, that's why you can read the exact same words from one profile to another.

What works for me is to convey the same message but in a completely different way uniques to me. In this medium, you need to stand out from the rest, BIG TIME.

My proof of this is the number of responses I get from women in other states that tell me that if they were only 500 miles closer to Minnesota, they would ask me for a date quicker than a heartbeat based on my profile alone. Just because of the way that I expressed myself and that I made them laugh out loud by just the typewritten word. Now, imagine enhancing that while having a face to face encounter.

Women are all about presentation and how it makes them feel. There's little logic to it, logic is extremely boring. Once guys understand this, they will have a much easier time communicating effectively with the ladies.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Another thing that I suggest is to use descriptive photographs. Again with my interest in cycling, I have a picture...

What works for me is to convey the same message but in a completely different way uniques to me. In this medium, you need to stand out from the rest, BIG TIME.

Women are all about presentation and how it makes them feel. Once guys understand this, they will have a much easier time communicating effectively with the ladies.

So it boils down to quite simple concepts:
1. Show as much cool pics as you can (Interesting, for me it didn't work very well - I have better than average pics, and in reality I do not look that impressive...so I have seen dissappointment in women's faces "Oh, you dont look like your pics!" Shallow but true. Should I post a pic "I am in my favorite sweat pants"?)

2. Stand out with what you say, do a good presentation.

The thing is HOW to do that.. how to stand out? How to write in order to convey those "confident, funny, unique" qualities? We all know what qualities we woudl like to convey, what we need to do is to figure out HOW....

Is it possible to look at your profile and learn a little bit more about this? Can you recommend some specific articles about it? Maybe books? How did you learn how to write in a unique way?

 

[Broham]

Here's mine:

http://profiles.myspace.com/users/13002061

Critique away!

 

[al77]

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
I'm gonna perfect this hehe

Much better. Still would be good to comme up with somehting c&f
Delete this "First to 100 matches wins! ;-)"....Say "I am Jason, what's yoru name" in the very end.

 

[Baruch]

and this is mine:

www.myspace.com/anatole

 

[spider_007]

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member469296.htm

let me know what you think

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
So it boils down to quite simple concepts:
1. Show as much cool pics as you can (Interesting, for me it didn't work very well - I have better than average pics, and in reality I do not look that impressive...so I have seen dissappointment in women's faces "Oh, you dont look like your pics!" Shallow but true. Should I post a pic "I am in my favorite sweat pants"?)

2. Stand out with what you say, do a good presentation.

The thing is HOW to do that.. how to stand out? How to write in order to convey those "confident, funny, unique" qualities? We all know what qualities we woudl like to convey, what we need to do is to figure out HOW....

Is it possible to look at your profile and learn a little bit more about this? Can you recommend some specific articles about it? Maybe books? How did you learn how to write in a unique way?

Sorry, I don't share my profiles, guys are too tempted to plagiarize (no offense). The best way that I convey confidence and uniqueness is through humor, obvious exaggerations and eye catching photos. It works easily for me because I'm one of the least 'Nordic' looking people in a state full of Swedes. So when I am in my cycling outfit, renaissance garb, fencing outfit, driving a go cart or whatever, people tend to notice.

So many guys project what they believe is attractive to women. The use James Bond type photos, half dressed pictures of themselves and even pictures of them holding fully automatic weapons! I don't know about you, but what kind of woman do you think that would attract? Really, what do you think?

I guess the thing that works for me is that I write my profile for the specific type of woman that I am attracted to. Attractive, athletic, funny, well traveled, self confident, creative, individual thinkers who are light hearted and does not take life too seriously. So I write things about myself that would appeal to that type of woman.

So here's a question for you, have you actually defined in no uncertain terms the type of woman that you would like to attract?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
I'm gonna perfect this hehe

HotorNot

I'm tryin to think of some good C&F but my mind is blank! Shyt i'm hungry

I still don't have a good read on who you are, what you are about and what type of woman is attractive to you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Baruch
and this is mine:

www.myspace.com/anatole

Like with SuperG, I'm not feeling what you are about. There's a lot of 'listed' information, but who are you? What are you about? Open up, be creative, why should someone contact you?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by spider_007
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member469296.htm

let me know what you think

Two things right off the bat:

1. Ease up on the cute little icons, they're distraction.
2. Use a spell checker, misspelled words are distracting.
   [/list=1]

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
The best way that I convey confidence and uniqueness is through humor, obvious exaggerations and eye catching photos.

I write my profile for the specific type of woman that I am attracted to. Attractive, athletic, funny, well traveled, self confident, creative, individual thinkers who are light hearted and does not take life too seriously.

So here's a question for you, have you actually defined in no uncertain terms the type of woman that you would like to attract?

I see, so confidence and uniqueness boils down to humor. It is a good way to write an attractive profile, not sure about confidence though.

No, I have not defined that in my profile at all. What would be the reason to do it? It is obvious she sould be attractive, compatible with me on emotional and physical levels. Doesn't anyone want that? Should I repeat it again and sound like all other guys?
I don't have anething like "athletic, well travelled, creative.. etc": just not important to me, it is similar to if I would right "I prefer green eyes and long hair".

What is the idea behind that description in genearal? Women do not contact me...if I contact somebody, what does my list of requirements make her think? The only outcome I can get out of it is to actually have less reposnses from women due to this list of requirements she is scared of even before we started talking.
..Make sense?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by spider_007
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member469296.htm

1. Get better pics.. you got some really weird angles...
2. Start with something else not "FREAK..." thats a bad image to begin with.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
I see, so confidence and uniqueness boils down to humor. It is a good way to write an attractive profile, not sure about confidence though.

No, I have not defined that in my profile at all. What would be the reason to do it? It is obvious she sould be attractive, compatible with me on emotional and physical levels. Doesn't anyone want that? Should I repeat it again and sound like all other guys?
I don't have anething like "athletic, well travelled, creative.. etc": just not important to me, it is similar to if I would right "I prefer green eyes and long hair".

What is the idea behind that description in genearal? Women do not contact me...if I contact somebody, what does my list of requirements make her think? The only outcome I can get out of it is to actually have less reposnses from women due to this list of requirements she is scared of even before we started talking.
..Make sense?

For myself, humor works in that I show that I do not take myself very seriously although at first glance, one would think that I did. Somehow that is a cause of interest toward me by women. But again, that works for me.

As for what you want in a woman yes, everyone wants someone compatible, attractive and so on; but what does that mean specifically to you? If green eyes and long hair is what you must have, then say it. Whatever it may be, paint a vivid picture of the characteristics of the woman you'd like to meet.

Yes, you will get less responses the more specific you are but that is the purpose of qualifying, isn't it? If you just want an abundance of responses, I suggest that you select "ANY" as the body type of the women you'd like to meet. You'll get a TON of responses, literally...

So in a nutshell, if you don't care about the type of woman that contacts you, feel free to be ambiguous in your requirements. I'll warn you that you will meet a lot of women and spend a lot of time doing so. How many will actually be quality, that will depend on how lucky you are.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
For myself, humor works in that I show that I do not take myself very seriously

everyone wants someone compatible, attractive and so on; but what does that mean specifically to you? ... Whatever it may be, paint a vivid picture of the characteristics of the woman you'd like to meet.

Yes, you will get less responses the more specific you are but that is the purpose of qualifying, isn't it?...

So in a nutshell, if you don't care about the type of woman that contacts you, feel free to be ambiguous in your requirements.

So we agree on one thing: a profile should be funny, has as much humor as possible, obviously as high qulity as possible too.
I agree, I'll re-write my profile sometime in a more funny way.
But still..if a woman's profile is funny it is not a great turn on for me, it is just a big plus, but not somehting super important. For some reasons for women humor is number one on their lists....Odd. Why dont they watch comedies all the time then?

Qualifying: sure it is a good thing. I do my qualifiying when I contact her: I read her profile. Once I wrote to her, I want her response. Why would I want to double qualify her? It appears a little bit repetitive. I made my decision: I want to talk to her and I want her to talk to me. What would be a purpose of letting her
think more about my requirements...

what is she just doesn't like any direct "requirements"? I personally dislike when women explicitly write "I want establish, generous guy".. we all know what they want, is she says it so explicitly.. well, it is not a good sign at all.

Again, Why woudl I need to write my requiremenst if they are ambiguous and well known without any additional words? I better be more concise without repeating what "all others say"

Conclusion: yes, qualifiing is good if you have really specific requirements like being athletic or creative. I don't have those kind of specifics. Should I still write down who I look for?

 

[Ken785]

HERE:

http://personals.yahoo.com/pm/personals-1114929221-379662


WHAT YOU GUYS THINK?? OPINIONS PLEASE!!

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by al77
1. Get better pics.. you got some really weird angles...
2. Start with something else not "FREAK..." thats a bad image to begin with.

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Two things right off the bat:

1. Ease up on the cute little icons, they're distraction.
2. Use a spell checker, misspelled words are distracting.
   [/list=1]

1. 
   
   THANX

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
So we agree on one thing: a profile should be funny, has as much humor as possible, obviously as high qulity as possible too.
I agree, I'll re-write my profile sometime in a more funny way.
But still..if a woman's profile is funny it is not a great turn on for me, it is just a big plus, but not somehting super important. For some reasons for women humor is number one on their lists....Odd. Why dont they watch comedies all the time then?

No, a profile should have as much humor to be entertaining but not more than what the writer's personality can handle in a face to face meeting. We all hear a terrific joke on television and are anxious to tell it to our friends at work. Ever tell it and only get limited laughs? Was it your presentation? Timing? Delivery? Or did it not fit your personal style? Do not overuse humor if you aren't capable of baking it up on dates.

Qualifying: sure it is a good thing. I do my qualifiying when I contact her: I read her profile. Once I wrote to her, I want her response. Why would I want to double qualify her? It appears a little bit repetitive. I made my decision: I want to talk to her and I want her to talk to me. What would be a purpose of letting her
think more about my requirements...

Qualifying is an ongoing process. Do you believe you can completely qualify a woman within one interaction? If so, great! But it sound as if you just want any type of women to contact you. Trust me, more isn't necessarily better. You can end up on countless dates with women that just want a free meal y'know. Don't get me started on first dates.

what is she just doesn't like any direct "requirements"? I personally dislike when women explicitly write "I want establish, generous guy".. we all know what they want, is she says it so explicitly.. well, it is not a good sign at all.

So why do you have requirements at all? Are you saying that you'd rather go out with a woman that you weren't physically attracted to her or her personality? Here's a question, shouldn't it be a mutual thing? Why should you have to hide what you want? Here's another thing, what you were describing as a "generous established" guy could be misconstrued as a person who is a gold digger. She may just want a guy that is stable. You wouldn't know without further qualification.

Again, Why woudl I need to write my requiremenst if they are ambiguous and well known without any additional words? I better be more concise without repeating what "all others say"

To remove ambiguity. Tell me if I'm wrong, but do you really truly know the type of woman you'd like to meet? I'm getting the feeling that you don't and really would take any woman that would have you.

Conclusion: yes, qualifiing is good if you have really specific requirements like being athletic or creative. I don't have those kind of specifics. Should I still write down who I look for?

Without those things, how would you know that you have found what you are looking for?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Ken785
HERE:

http://personals.yahoo.com/pm/personals-1114929221-379662

1. The profile is too long... make i shorter.
2. "Hmmm..what should I say?.." - convey doubt not confidence right away. Consider starting with somehting else.
3. ".never did anything like this before but decided to give it a shot to see what happens!" - it is a trite... a lot of people says that. You dont want to blend in with all others.
4. "Well first off I'm Vietnamese.."- not sure why it is important, you have a pic to look at. Plus you lose opportunity to be asked "Oh, what is your background?" and talk about your parents since you already provided the info.
5. "I'm just a regular nice, sincere guy"- did you read the DJ bible?
About nice guys? You still want to be a nice guy?
6. ". I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY..." - no caps in the profile, it is like you are shouting.....