Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Reyaj]

But what seems gentlemanly to you will seem 'needy wuss borefriend' to her. It's also not fun. You are saying 'well this girl is special' and all women will say that they want to feel special, but in the great paradox that is with women, when you treat them that way, it turns into the pedestal treatment and they lose interest right away. Even they won't be able to vocalize why, but they do.

I think it's got to be an evolutionary mechanism within women. The happier a guy is to be with a woman and the luckier he acts, then the more suspicious the woman becomes that she could do better.

It is attractive to a woman when you put your own needs ahead of hers. That does not make sense, but it works. Try it. Put some work into being a selfish, yet fun jerk, and you will come out with about the right mix to keep her guessing and keep her interested.

Ok well then with that advice here is my paradox..... if I don't contact her whether it be text or phone and she doesn't contact me I don't see her again.

If I do contact her or text her I'm a borefriend wuss......

 

[Bible_Belt]

A piece of advice I have read here on SS is:

All that matters is how she feels about you right now.

That means you can't sit on past accomplishments, but it also means that past failures can be overcome - just don't repeat the same mistakes. Contacting her is not passive behavior.

btw, if you get voicemail, leave a hook in the message. The standard, "Hi, this is me, call me back" is boring. Instead, if you are planning to ask her out, say something like, "hey, you would not believe what I found out is going on Friday night." But don't say what it is. Her curiosity is powerful. The when she calls back, be like, "hey, my favorite is band is playing! Come with me." If she can't or won't, that's her loss.

 

[Reyaj]

Yeah I think I am going to call her 1 last time and ask her out again. I'll know where she stands based on that alone. Like I said I thought I had a good time with her... but with her lack of enthusiastic responses I wonder on her end. I guess she has low il or she's reallly playing the game good

The thing is I am going to have some respect and I won't call her today. I'm debating whether it be tommorow or Wednesday...

If I call too late in the week she may already have made plans....


One thing is for sure... I'm going to dedicate a day to go out with my wingman and try and get some more digits!

 

[Reyaj]

So yeah no text or any word from her yesterday.....

I did however text the player girl to see how she was doing with her illness and she texted me back right away saying she was feeling better and thanks for asking. She said she hoped I was having a good day.

I guess I'm going to call the school teacher/expensive dinner girl tonight and see what the deal is. If she doesn't answer or acts shady on the phone I'll know her IL is low. It would really be surprising to me because I really had a great time with her... I had my arm around her... I kissed closed.....

but yeah we'll see. I hope my next report back is positive.

But either way I'm proud of myself for getting this far......

 

[Reyaj]

Ok update Time:

So school teacher girl actually does send me a text on Tuesday 10/23 later on in the evening. I was surprised but it read "hey how is your day"

Well I was actually having a terrible day..... I responded a little later "it's not the greatest day to be honest lol... how is yours"

Well she didn't respond for a while..... and for some reason I decided to take some initiative and call her... So I called around 10pm that night and she picks up.... She sounded very tired and said she was working on stuff for school. I told her I had a bad day... and asked her if she recieved my text... she said she did but I didnt explain why.... lol (I'm thinking ok.... you could have asked) But anyway I was really tired so I told her I had to go after like 15 mins of chatting.

Well the next day she didn't text me at all. I held out for most of the day... but I texted her at night at 10pm saying I had a test the next day to wish me luck. (its for a certification I'm going for) Well she responded back right away "good luck, u will do good!"

So anyway the next day which was yesterday.... no texts or anything from her.....Well around 11:30 last night just for the hell of it I texted her

"So what are you doing on Sunday" (Sunday is the only day I have free this weekend and it's getting near the weekend)

She responds back fairly quickly "I have a family party to go to.... what fun"

The she texts me again a little after midnight "your reason?"

I text her back saying "maybe I wanted to hang out "

Well she didn't respond and hasn't responded yet. She may have been asleep yesterday and is working now so I'm not too worried. If I don't hear back from her I don't think I'm going to contact her again until at least Sunday... and thats if I feel like it.

I am just used to girls showing more interest you know.... but at the same time I think she might be playing a game of sorts.... I thought our date last Saturday went great.... if she didn't feel the same way I don't know what to say.....


On another note... me and the player girl have been exchanging texts....

Don't ask me how this happend but she invited me over her place to watch a movie tommorow. Sounds good except that she has a guy roomate that's interested in her.... could be a big c-block and I don't know if I'll be able to do anything with his presence.

"Don't be outcome dependent" I'm still trying to get used to this idea..... but it helps...

 

[Reyaj]

Bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Microphone Fiend]

keep chugging along man

also i wouldnt reccomend having conversations via text messages so much, they are impersonal and kinda defeating the purpose of interacting imo

 

[Bible_Belt]

she invited me over her place to watch a movie tommorow.

That means 'make out' in chickspeak.

 

[Reyaj]

Gosh its been a while since I updated this bad boy.....

The bad news is.... the 2 girls I have been talking about look bleak... well 1 definitely is nexted and the other may be as well...

The good news? I got 3 numbers this past weekend! which I'll post about next.

But to recap these idiot girls....

The girl never called me to go over her place. So I called her last Saturday and she woke up and sounded like she was sleeping.. I asked if she still wanted to hang out and she said she was really tired from going out drinking the night before... so she wasn't sure. Well i suggested she take a nap and call me when she got up. She said sure... Well anyway I never got a phone call that night. I ended up going out on my own with some friends anyways.... but after like 2 in the morning I texted her "Thats ****ed up"

Well 6 in the morning the next day she responded saying "sorry she just woke up she overslept"

I responded via text "well you will just have to make it up to me then"

Well she basically never responded after that.... so after a few days just to vent a little frustration with her and women in general I texted her

"go **** yourself!"

She responds the next day "if you cant text me something nice or at a decent hour please dont text me"

Well I respond saying "funny how u text me when i say something mean... you are so pathetic at being a player"

She responds "lose my number punk"

Well her number will end up in a bathroom stall somewhere.... that stupid trick!


As for the other girl...... well she texted me during the week saying "hows your day" I responded "good hows yours"

Well she never responded.....

So anyway I end u calling her Tuesday and I ask her "So when will I get to see you again...."

She said "well pick a day"

I was like "how about friday"

She was like "well Im supposed to hang out with some friends after work..."

So I was like "oh well how about later on"

She was like "ok we will see"

So anyway I call her on Thursday and she answers. I ask her "So are we still going out Friday"

She says "well friday I can't.... i have a family dinner to go too... I told you that..... and saturday you are busy so how about sunday"

I said "ok as long as it isn't too early"

So anyways Sunday comes around and I dont hear from her. I call her and there is no answer..... I try again and she picks up. Call it deja vu but she also was sleeping and sounded tired. She said she went out the night before and got back really late... and now felt sick....

I was like "well take care of yourself" She's like "im really sorry blah blah"

But the odd thing was I was ready to hang up with her and call it a next but she kept talking for like another 40 minutes.... and she basically said indirectly and she always analyzes stuff with guys with her friends etc.... I also found out that she was hurt recently from a relationship.......


I dont know..... I am so sick of playing ****ing games all the time. Like seriously.... I thought i had a nice time with these girls.... I kissed closed them.... but now its like its such a big deal to talk or see each other...

Here's a heads up to everyone out there on this forum!

Girls are ****ed up! I am so serious.... You never ****ing know if they are into you until you **** them!

I can't believe how society has shifted in their favor.... I can't believe how they can do this **** to us............ Half the time Im relaxed about the whole situation.... other times I am mad and frustrated because I really liked this girl and thought she was different.

Guys that play girls are completely in the right! This is how I feel......

BB I think I'm going to start looking at this all analytical.. though I do have an ounce of hope in magic left its fastly becoming extinct.

Girls are like the stock market I guess man. Don't get attached to your stock and just use analyziation to determine whether to hold to sell them.

easier said that done.....

 

[saber]

hey, sounds like you are really moving in the right direction...so good job on getting numbers

As for the last few girls you have been talking about it sounds like you had low interest and I know how that can go...sigh

I can think of one girl where we went out and I didn't get any kino in...and barely got a second date

the second date was fun cause I kept amping up the sexual side with kino and makeout but I floped the ending by being at her house and asking if she was tired....lol then interest dies in the same way you describe


try this for a rule...make her say no at least 3 times to your next level of physical escalation before you call it a night. she will just be pissed but still hang with you...


and if you think thats a lot I would probably go for like 15 or 20 attempts...

also it sounds like you are not qualifying them? if everytime i talked to a girl she tells me how drunk she was the night before something is wrong.

 

[Bible_Belt]

so after a few days just to vent a little frustration with her and women in general I texted her

"go **** yourself!"


Show a little maturity next time. All you did was guarantee that you will never get laid with that girl. Calm, cool, collected is the way to go, and this was anything but.

The good news is that everyone is replaceable, but learn from your mistakes and don't let a girl know that she has gotten to you and made you lose control of yourself.

 

[Bible_Belt]

(double post)

 

[Reyaj]

so after a few days just to vent a little frustration with her and women in general I texted her

"go **** yourself!"


Show a little maturity next time. All you did was guarantee that you will never get laid with that girl. Calm, cool, collected is the way to go, and this was anything but.

The good news is that everyone is replaceable, but learn from your mistakes and don't let a girl know that she has gotten to you and made you lose control of yourself.

As true as that might be.... I wasn't going to get any from her anyway. At least it made me feel better and maybe she will think twice about disrespecting the next guy. I take 1 for the team

 

[Bible_Belt]

No, you fvcked up. I respect you a lot, and especially respect what you are doing here, something that most guys don't have the balls to do, but in this one particular instance, you fvcked up. Don't ever let a girl get to you like that; it's always bad news.

Good luck in the future, and keep up the approaching.

 

[Reyaj]

No, you fvcked up. I respect you a lot, and especially respect what you are doing here, something that most guys don't have the balls to do, but in this one particular instance, you fvcked up. Don't ever let a girl get to you like that; it's always bad news.

Good luck in the future, and keep up the approaching.

It's hard man.... I mean after being myself and experiencing the same cycles I get so frustrated and actually develop disdain towards women....

Do you have any advice you can share that will help me not have this mindset?

 

[j0n024]

Yes I agree you should have shown a little more self control then exploding on her, I mean the only time I get mad is for actual reasons to be mad over. You should have taken control again and went on another date since you said she "owed" you(cant remember which girl this was) and escalated more and Kclose at HER house. I think your problem is that you text way way too much I mean it seems like you text like almost everyday you should relax and go out Dj'ng again and get more numbers so that when you finally get to the first girl it wont seem like your a pathetic person that is becoming clingy. But other then that your doing good plus you should read the beginning of your journal and see the difference in yourself/

By the way what is your number now I am really interested to know.

 

[up_an_up]

Hey man ive been reading alot of your recent posts and i just wanted to say congrats so far. The only advice i could give you would be to stop sending so many texts. I know your for texts and all but i keep reading how your sending all these texts like "how are you" "how was your day" "did you get my call". Imagine if these were all phone calls. Imagine if a girl keep calling you all day asking how you are. My advice would be to treat them how you treat your guy friends. Just ask what they are doing on the weekend, confirm something, and talk on the date. Dont call saying you had a good time, tell her on the date. Other than that man i think your doing great.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's hard man.... I mean after being myself and experiencing the same cycles I get so frustrated and actually develop disdain towards women....

Do you have any advice you can share that will help me not have this mindset?

I know it's hard. Sosuave would not be here if it was easy.

And about the texting thing, fwiw I never text, and I hardly ever call. This drives girls nuts. If you are calling and texting too much, then you are like a typical AFC - that's what they do. Whatever girl I happen to be around, there's always some guy calling her over and over that she keeps ignoring. We usually laugh at him. Don't be that guy.

The ideal mindset is always calm, cool and collected. Of course, all of us lose our cool at times. The key is not showing it to the girl. If you need to vent, that's what friends are for. Write me a PM about what a b!tch she is if it makes you feel better (it will), or call a friend, hell, call your mom or dad, anything is better than venting at the girl. As soon as you lose your cool, it's game over, she wins, and no sex for you.

If a girl blows you off, you find another girl. This is the best way to get that girl back, to just forget about her and move on.

And if girls are not fun, and you find yourself still hating women, then go do something else for a while. This is all supposed to be fun. When it's not, go find something else that's fun. Ironically, if you are having fun at something besides chasing girls, that's the best way to get any girl that happens to fall into your life.

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks every1!

I did actually get 3 numbers this past weekend. I'm about to call one of the girls in a few minutes...... I'll post the results of the weekend and the approaches in a little bit.....

 

[Jaxon]

Well she basically never responded after that.... so after a few days just to vent a little frustration with her and women in general I texted her

"go **** yourself!"

She responds the next day "if you cant text me something nice or at a decent hour please dont text me"

Well I respond saying "funny how u text me when i say something mean... you are so pathetic at being a player"

She responds "lose my number punk"

Well her number will end up in a bathroom stall somewhere.... that stupid trick!

Dude I was busting up laughing while reading this, that's pretty awesome. Nothing like dropping the "go f*ck yourself!" line out of the blue. No it's not the way to go for future success because you never want to burn a bridge, and now she'll probably tell everyone she can that she thinks you're an as*hole, but who cares. At least you got to vent.
And yeah I'd say you took one for the team haha.