Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Reyaj]

ok well I just texted her out and showd a little ****iness

I said

"how about you call me later..."

ball is in her court now.

 

[Reyaj]

well the pendulum swings again!


She didn't text me back but to my surprise she called me at night. I actually picked up and said let me call you back in a bit I'm kind of busy.

Now in between waiting to call her back, the girl from Friday night called! I was surprised. We talked only for a few minutes though because frankly she isn't that talkative. A few "red flags" though

Her roomate is a guy. Not a big deal? Yeah I wouldn't jump to conclusions either except that she is going with him to his fraternity event (he is an alumni) this weekend in another state, actually leaving Thursday - Sunday. She mentioned there's going to be a lot of drinking.

But anyway I told her we should get together next week. She thought it was a good idea.


blah........


Ok so after I'm done talking to her I call Saturday chick back and we end up talking for like a half hour. This girl talks a lot which I like cause It allieves me of having to do a lot of work. I was C&F and even teased herabout her nationality which I don't know if it was a good idea. but we'll see. I actually went for the date set up which I don't usually do on the first convo. I tried for Thursday but she said she always hangs out with her best friends on that day.... so I ended up saying Friday would be better since the next day isn't work.

So I guess we'll see what happens. I've been in this situation before. I guess I need to figure out what a good date or first meeting would be......

 

[Ever onward]

On my phone the girl from Saturday that didn't call me back sent me a text message. Yes a text message! Girls love these things lets be honest.

Down boy! I see that you're on some sort of pro text message kick at the moment but guess what, it's not some big revelation that you've discovered. Anyone who is half way social knows the value of texting.

"Sorry I didnt call you back. It was a rare night. Call me tommorow if you want "

She gave you PERMISSION to call her? Well isn't that special

But really man, you're doing good. Just don't be so outcome dependent.

 

[Reyaj]

Down boy! I see that you're on some sort of pro text message kick at the moment but guess what, it's not some big revelation that you've discovered. Anyone who is half way social knows the value of texting.



She gave you PERMISSION to call her? Well isn't that special

But really man, you're doing good. Just don't be so outcome dependent.

I know dude. Its just that I have constantly heard people on here critcise text messaging... saying not to do it etc... I just think it shouldn't be frowned upon. Its kept me in touch with these girls so far.

"But really man, you're doing good. Just don't be so outcome dependent"

Thanks! You are so right.... thats one of my issues. However how can I measure my success without analyzing the outcomes of my actions? You are so right though.... every time one little thing happens or doesn't I tend to over analyze. I need to find my state of content bliss I guess. Its hard..

Any advice on this?

 

[Reyaj]

So anyway just an update. Yesterday I texted the girl from saturday which whom I have a date with tommorow

"hope you are having a great day"

I texted her this early in the afternoon and I never got a response.

Well around 7pm at night I finally get a reply saying

"been a crazy day how about about you"

Well this time I didnt respond till like 10 that night. But anyway much to my surprise, the first girl (the one I met on Friday who lives with the guy) texts me saying

"Hey Im not going away after all"

Well I texted her back saying we should do something this weekend and she said it would be a good idea.


Well today I talked to Saturday girl and we decided to go out to dinner tommorow. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up, but she suggested we meet there, so I guess I need to build up the rapport.


I also have been texting Friday Girl. I told her I wanted to make plans for Saturday, but she texted me asking me what I was doing tommorow. Being that I have a date and don't want to be readily available, I texted her back saying I had plans.

She said she would be back at the same lounge that we met at. Hopefully she doesnt hook up with anyone else lol


Ill keep everyone posted on what happens this weekend when I see both of them.

Usually the dating is the hardest part.... lets hope I have some game

 

[Ever onward]

I know dude. Its just that I have constantly heard people on here critcise text messaging... saying not to do it etc... I just think it shouldn't be frowned upon. Its kept me in touch with these girls so far.

Some guys on here know what they're talking about, some don't. You've seen how the game is played, you know the score.

Thanks! You are so right.... thats one of my issues. However how can I measure my success without analyzing the outcomes of my actions? You are so right though.... every time one little thing happens or doesn't I tend to over analyze. I need to find my state of content bliss I guess. Its hard..

Measure your success by how you feel about yourself. Are you having fun? Are you making progress? If the answer is yes then that is all that matters. Success with women will naturally be a side effect to that.

You've made a lot of progress over the years. I like that you're taking action. I'll tell you a bit about me. I've made progress over the years too. I started out a virgin in my early 20s. I got my first lay, wasn't that high quality of a woman but it was practice. Years went by and there were more and more girls. They got hotter too. Long story short, this summer I laid a girl who put me strictly in the friend zone 7 years ago. A girl that I had previously thought was out of my league. We were fvck buddies over the summer. Yada yada yada, I started developing feelings, she broke it off.

At first I was crushed. But then I thought about it. My life would move on and there would be other girls. It turns out her breaking up with me wasn't that big of a deal. Then I realized something else...hooking up with her wasn't that big of a deal either. My life is MY LIFE regardless of the women that come and go.

Girls come and go man. Your life rolls on. Whatever happens will happen and it won't be that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. If they don't return a call, who cares? You should be so caught up living your life that you don't even notice.

 

[DJKid]

sweeeeeeeeeeeeet

 

[Reyaj]

Some guys on here know what they're talking about, some don't. You've seen how the game is played, you know the score.



Measure your success by how you feel about yourself. Are you having fun? Are you making progress? If the answer is yes then that is all that matters. Success with women will naturally be a side effect to that.

You've made a lot of progress over the years. I like that you're taking action. I'll tell you a bit about me. I've made progress over the years too. I started out a virgin in my early 20s. I got my first lay, wasn't that high quality of a woman but it was practice. Years went by and there were more and more girls. They got hotter too. Long story short, this summer I laid a girl who put me strictly in the friend zone 7 years ago. A girl that I had previously thought was out of my league. We were fvck buddies over the summer. Yada yada yada, I started developing feelings, she broke it off.

At first I was crushed. But then I thought about it. My life would move on and there would be other girls. It turns out her breaking up with me wasn't that big of a deal. Then I realized something else...hooking up with her wasn't that big of a deal either. My life is MY LIFE regardless of the women that come and go.

Girls come and go man. Your life rolls on. Whatever happens will happen and it won't be that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. If they don't return a call, who cares? You should be so caught up living your life that you don't even notice.

You are so right man. Thanks. I am having fun when I
don't over analyze outcomes, so I definitely need to
chill with that. I guess the key is to just relax and
have a good time. It is rough to see if I'm making
progress though without examining outcome... still I
think too much analyziation makes it worse. So maybe I
should just chill and the rest will come naturally.

Thanks for your story. You are so right that nothing
is the end of the world. I guess its really as simple
as clicking with someone.... some girls you click
with, some you don't... the key is to not take it
personally and enjoy the ride.

I have my date in a few. I somehow got talked into
going to a nice restaurant. I know this is not proper
DJ routine to do on a first date... but it is
chivilarous...

Lets see what happens

I should have another date tommorow too... with the
1st girl last weekend.


Thanks for the support!

 

[Reyaj]

Alright so now for the report on my 2 dates this weekend!

On Friday I went out with the girl I met last Saturday. I ended up going to a fancy restaurant with her. I know this isn't a good idea for a first date but she somhow suggested it and I agreed. Well I offered to pick her up at her home but she said she'd rather meet at the restaurant.

Well I made a reservation for 8 but she had trouble finding the place and was like 20 minutes late. I kissed her on the cheek when she arrived and she apologized for being late. Fortunately we still were able be seated.

Well we were there for probably around 2 hours because the waiter took forever to get us the bill. She actually did a lot of talking and I did my best to listen and give eye contact. She didn't order any alcohol so I followed suit. She seems somewhat a little conservative as she had said her mother told her not to ride in the same car as me etc... but whatever. One thing though is that I ate this dish with a heavy sauce and my stomach was killing me. I had to walk away to the bathroom twice just to let out a huge fart.... and on top of that I need to take a ****tt real bad. This kind of messed me up a little as I couldn't wait to leave. Still she seemed to be comfortable and didn't seem anxious to leave which was a good thing. Well when the bill came she pulled out her credit card to pay and I said "don't worry I got this"

She said "no stop give me that" then she was like "at least lets split it" (the bill was like 60 bucks) and I said "look if you want you can get the next time ok" she agreed and I ended up paying the bill.

Anyway she had parked a little distance from the restaurant and asked that I walk her back to her car since it was late at night. I told her of course I would and I did. When we got to her car she got inside immediately and said she would give me a ride to my car. I agreed so we got in and she drove me to my car.

Now my breath was kicking from the food I ate and my stomach was killing... I wanted to go to the bathroom right there.... but I held strong. I kissed her on the cheek and said good night.

Well I got in my car and started to drive away. About 5 mins later she calls me and says she is lost.... I told her I'd wait for her by the restaurant if she wanted and she could follow me to the highway. She agreed and she ended up doing that.

Well anyway after that I texted her and told her to let me know when she got home. Well she texted me about 15 mins later saying "Im actually meeting up with a friend for coffee, going to have some girl talk"

I texted her back and said "good night, hope the talk is good"

She texted me back goodnight and said "it will be"

Well anyway the next day which was Saturday I had eaten some leftovers from the restaurant which she recommended I order. I couldnt eat it at the restaurant because of my stomach. But anyway it was very good that I texted her

"Thanks for recommending this, its awseome"

She texted me back a little while later saying "so is everything I say right"

Let me tell you guys, this girl is more C&F than I am. I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing but she is always being playful and sarcastic. Anyway she texted me again and asked what I was doing with my stomach. I told her I was fine. and that was it

Well today I was surprised but she texted me this evening "just saying hi"

I texted her back, and then I called her and we talked for 20 minutes before I told her I had to go because I had to finish up some stuff.

Well I'll be honest.... I really like this girl.... I don't know how she feels about me because she is so C&F all the time..... I don't want to get trapped in the friend zone you know..... but I figure I'll ask her out again and see what happens......


Ok onto my second date this weekend which was yesterday. This was with the girl I met last Friday.

We decided to meet up at a chain restaurant which was in between both of us.

I actually got there about 20 mins late this time ironically. She was waiting in the lobby... for some reason I was nervous because I didn't expect her to look pretty but she did. I went to kiss her on the cheek but she gave me a hug which was unexpected. Well we were seated and ordered some food and a beer. She actually iniaited the conversation the whole as well which I found surprising cause she didnt like to talk on the phone but text only.

We were probably there for like 2 hours as well. When we finished our dinner we ordered another drink... and I have to admit the alcohol did help me relax. Well anyway when the bill came I offered to pay and she said "are you sure?" and I'm like yeah don't worry. It actually ended up being 40 bucks. She said "thank you". Well when we finally finished up I told her I'd walk her to her car.

This time I hugged her and she hugged me back. I kissed her on the cheek but I noticed she had her mouth out like maybe she wanted a real kiss. So since I was feeling pretty comfortable, I just went in for it and she kissed me back. It was a real nice kiss close

I'm proud of myself for that alone.... cause I usually never kiss close on the first date...... and this time I just used the Rake mentality........ (see The Art of Seduction Book Study Thread) and it worked!

Well anyway I told her to let me know she got home and she said she was actually going to hang out with some friends. I told her ok. I kissed her softly again and said good night.

Well she texted me around 2 in the morning asking if I got home. She said she was a club. I texted her back saying "I had a nice time seeing you"

She texted back "So did I "

Well I didn't text her today and she didn't text me.


Anyway EverOnward's advice about not being so outcome depdendent is at least making me feel better as I'm not kicking myself when I don't get a text response right away etc....

I know I have a lot to offer and am a great guy.

Confidence confidence, confidence.

 

[Reyaj]

Alright so now for the report on my 2 dates this weekend!

On Friday I went out with the girl I met last Saturday. I ended up going to a fancy restaurant with her. I know this isn't a good idea for a first date but she somhow suggested it and I agreed. Well I offered to pick her up at her home but she said she'd rather meet at the restaurant.

Well I made a reservation for 8 but she had trouble finding the place and was like 20 minutes late. I kissed her on the cheek when she arrived and she apologized for being late. Fortunately we still were able be seated.

Well we were there for probably around 2 hours because the waiter took forever to get us the bill. She actually did a lot of talking and I did my best to listen and give eye contact. She didn't order any alcohol so I followed suit. She seems somewhat a little conservative as she had said her mother told her not to ride in the same car as me etc... but whatever. One thing though is that I ate this dish with a heavy sauce and my stomach was killing me. I had to walk away to the bathroom twice just to let out a huge fart.... and on top of that I need to take a ****tt real bad. This kind of messed me up a little as I couldn't wait to leave. Still she seemed to be comfortable and didn't seem anxious to leave which was a good thing. Well when the bill came she pulled out her credit card to pay and I said "don't worry I got this"

She said "no stop give me that" then she was like "at least lets split it" (the bill was like 60 bucks) and I said "look if you want you can get the next time ok" she agreed and I ended up paying the bill.

Anyway she had parked a little distance from the restaurant and asked that I walk her back to her car since it was late at night. I told her of course I would and I did. When we got to her car she got inside immediately and said she would give me a ride to my car. I agreed so we got in and she drove me to my car.

Now my breath was kicking from the food I ate and my stomach was killing... I wanted to go to the bathroom right there.... but I held strong. I kissed her on the cheek and said good night.

Well I got in my car and started to drive away. About 5 mins later she calls me and says she is lost.... I told her I'd wait for her by the restaurant if she wanted and she could follow me to the highway. She agreed and she ended up doing that.

Well anyway after that I texted her and told her to let me know when she got home. Well she texted me about 15 mins later saying "Im actually meeting up with a friend for coffee, going to have some girl talk"

I texted her back and said "good night, hope the talk is good"

She texted me back goodnight and said "it will be"

Well anyway the next day which was Saturday I had eaten some leftovers from the restaurant which she recommended I order. I couldnt eat it at the restaurant because of my stomach. But anyway it was very good that I texted her

"Thanks for recommending this, its awseome"

She texted me back a little while later saying "so is everything I say right"

Let me tell you guys, this girl is more C&F than I am. I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing but she is always being playful and sarcastic. Anyway she texted me again and asked what I was doing with my stomach. I told her I was fine. and that was it

Well today I was surprised but she texted me this evening "just saying hi"

I texted her back, and then I called her and we talked for 20 minutes before I told her I had to go because I had to finish up some stuff.

Well I'll be honest.... I really like this girl.... I don't know how she feels about me because she is so C&F all the time..... I don't want to get trapped in the friend zone you know..... but I figure I'll ask her out again and see what happens......


Ok onto my second date this weekend which was yesterday. This was with the girl I met last Friday.

We decided to meet up at a chain restaurant which was in between both of us.

I actually got there about 20 mins late this time ironically. She was waiting in the lobby... for some reason I was nervous because I didn't expect her to look pretty but she did. I went to kiss her on the cheek but she gave me a hug which was unexpected. Well we were seated and ordered some food and a beer. She actually iniaited the conversation the whole as well which I found surprising cause she didnt like to talk on the phone but text only.

We were probably there for like 2 hours as well. When we finished our dinner we ordered another drink... and I have to admit the alcohol did help me relax. Well anyway when the bill came I offered to pay and she said "are you sure?" and I'm like yeah don't worry. It actually ended up being 40 bucks. She said "thank you". Well when we finally finished up I told her I'd walk her to her car.

This time I hugged her and she hugged me back. I kissed her on the cheek but I noticed she had her mouth out like maybe she wanted a real kiss. So since I was feeling pretty comfortable, I just went in for it and she kissed me back. It was a real nice kiss close

I'm proud of myself for that alone.... cause I usually never kiss close on the first date...... and this time I just used the Rake mentality........ (see The Art of Seduction Book Study Thread) and it worked!

Well anyway I told her to let me know she got home and she said she was actually going to hang out with some friends. I told her ok. I kissed her softly again and said good night.

Well she texted me around 2 in the morning asking if I got home. She said she was a club. I texted her back saying "I had a nice time seeing you"

She texted back "So did I "

Well I didn't text her today and she didn't text me.


Anyway EverOnward's advice about not being so outcome depdendent is at least making me feel better as I'm not kicking myself when I don't get a text response right away etc....

I know I have a lot to offer and am a great guy.

Confidence confidence, confidence.

 

[Ever onward]

Wow man, good job! I am so proud of you (and impressed) that I hate to second guess you on anything. But I know you will appreciate it.

First man I don't know about you but I don't have a lot of extra money to be throwing around. Never mind if it's the DJ Thing to do or not, I would avoid such expensive restaurants on the 1st date if for no other reason but to save money. Personally, for a first date I like something "action oriented" like Mini Golf. It's cheap and if you're smooth you get to do a lot of touching during it which gets her used to you touching her. That makes it easier to escalate things later on. Nothing wrong with going for a nice meal especially if money isn't an issue for you. But really, there are benefits to "cheap dates" like the one I mentioned.

Now I must admit that when I was reading about your first date I was shocked when you two didn't do anything else after the restaurant. Let me guess, when you asked her out you asked her if she wanted to go for dinner right? See if it had been me I would have said "hey, I have an evening planned, let's go out". That way I wouldn't be constrained to just having dinner with her. If things go well you can say "hey let's go for a drink at such and such". See what I mean? And also if she doesn't know how long the date is going to be for she won't make other plans for the night like going clubbing with her friends afterwards.

I'll tell you about my most successful date. I was damn smooth on this one so I use this one as my example when I give date advice. First I did the mini golf thing at a sports bar. Plenty of touching hands and stuff when I would hand her ball back to her, whatever. Lots of laughs, good times. Then we went in to the sports bar to have a drink and watch our college football team on the tvs in the bar. By that time I was holding hands with her. It was all good times. Good laughs. Pretty soon we were talking about old video games. I told her I bought a Super Nintendo at a garage sale. She said "really??" I said "yeah, want to come over and play it?". Then I quickly warned her "but NO Funny Business". It was ****y funny and she ate it up.

So I took her back to my house. More hand holding. We played the game. More cuddling. Cuddling turned to kissing. The rest was easy.

I can give you the following tips out of that interaction:

-touch early, touch often
-no outcome dependence (I didn't care if she came over or not)
-the date was about us getting together (not going for dinner or a certain activity) and so there was no time constraint on how long the date would last.
-If you want to invite her over just talk about something that is relevant to something at home and casually invite her over to check it out. Girls want to come over to your house man. But they want to be able to tell themselves later that they came over for a reason other than to jump your bones.
-Always escalate. Girls want you to escalate. It's like when the girl wanted you to kiss her on the lips and you went for the cheek. She would have been DISAPPOINTED if you hadn't went back in and kissed her lips.

Here's a rule in general. Women quickly become bored with interactions if you're not escalating (taking things to the next level).

Anyway, again awesome job. You'll achieve pimp-status one of these days! :rockon:

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks man. You are right about the dinner stuff..... mini golf is great but its just been cold here lately so I need to do something indoors. Im thinking maybe try rollerskating or pool next time.... I agree that kino is important. With the dinner date my stomch was all messed up so I definitely am glad I didnt plan ahead. But still I get your point.

Anyway on to today. I am trying so hard to not be outcome depdendent but I sort of hit a wrench with the expensive dinner girl. Here's the deal with her today.

She had started a new job today.... so I texted her this evening saying "i want to hear how your first day went"

Well a few minutes later she calls me and we talk for a few mins. I'm actually driving so I ask if I could call her back when I get home, she said sure thats no problem.

So anyway I get home, take a shower and call her back which was probably 20 minutes later. I hear she is on the other line (you can tell by the phone ring) well I was curious to see if she would hang up with who she was talking to and talk to me.... that would show some good Interest level. Well she didn't click over..... it just went to her voice mail.

Well I didn't leave a message and its been over an hour later and she hasn't called me back. It kind of bothers me that she didnt answer the phone since I would expect a girl with high IL to do so. I'm really not sure what to do here. Part of me wants to call back to at least see if she's on the line. I can't help but wonder who's she's talking to thats more important than me. Part of is thinking "dont call her bacK" or if she does call me back "dont pick up" but I really have no clue what to do.

Who knows by the time I post again maybe I will already tried and called her back. I'm guessing the best move is not to though..... ok enough analyzing this crap


On a lighter note, I texted the girl I kissed closed. I found her myspace page and the funny part is that she actually states that she is a player and is very hard to get lol. She doesn't knwo that I saw her myspace page though... so I used some information about her on there to mirror her. Now the truth is if I would have saw her myspce page before I met her, I would be intimidated thinking that she was hard to get... basically one of those girls that doesnt knwo what she wants. But anyway then I calmed down, rembered not to be outcome depdendent and to just have fun with it. Oh also,,, it says on her myspace page that she is not a phone person but likes texting and talking in person so it wasn't just me.

So yeah I texted her and said "I would like to see you again"

She texted me back and said "I would like to see you again too "

So i texted her and said we should plan something and she agreed. So I haven't texted her back yet. I think I'll text her tommorow and try and plan something..... I just want to see if I can set something up with fancy dinner girl first lol

Ever thanks for the advice and the story. Kino is important I realize I have to try my best to be in a position to do this. One tihng that kind of messed me up is that she had said over dinner "one of my pet peeves is when people rub up next to me"

Well that is actually my kino move lol. I position myself close to the girl and tend to rub up against her. Thats what I did with the girl I kissed closed.

Anyways thanks for the support man and giving your advice. I'm going to keep your words in mind.

Enough analysis for today lol

 

[Ever onward]

Well Props for how far you've come. You take action a lot more than most guys on this board.

At this point I don't want to give you more advice because you have come this far on your own doing your own thing and I wouldn't want to tell you to do a certain thing which might screw up things for you. And that's because I'm not perfect just as you aren't. I have a lot of insight but we all make mistakes along the way and that's how you learn. So in other words if you're to learn it should be from your mistakes and not mine.

I will keep following your progress though and if I see something that I think should be pointed out then I'll do that buddy!

One piece of advice I will give you on your current situation(s). I wouldn't have called the girl back who called you when you were driving. I would leave her wondering why I didn't call her instead of putting myself in that situation.

Remember this Jayer: It is a fact of nature that when you chase something, it runs away. Try not to pursue but to be pursued

 

[Reyaj]

Well Props for how far you've come. You take action a lot more than most guys on this board.

At this point I don't want to give you more advice because you have come this far on your own doing your own thing and I wouldn't want to tell you to do a certain thing which might screw up things for you. And that's because I'm not perfect just as you aren't. I have a lot of insight but we all make mistakes along the way and that's how you learn. So in other words if you're to learn it should be from your mistakes and not mine.

I will keep following your progress though and if I see something that I think should be pointed out then I'll do that buddy!

One piece of advice I will give you on your current situation(s). I wouldn't have called the girl back who called you when you were driving. I would leave her wondering why I didn't call her instead of putting myself in that situation.

Remember this Jayer: It is a fact of nature that when you chase something, it runs away. Try not to pursue but to be pursued

Ok I'm going to provide one last update and then keep it simple for a while unless there's some major development.

Well the teacher girl (or expensive dinner) ended up calling me back Monday night almost 2 hours later.... I decided not to answer the phone because I didn't want to appear that I was waiting for her phone call. She flat out said

"hey I saw you called before, sorry I was on the other line. Call me back if you arent asleep"

Well I certainly didn't call her back. I actually texted her a little later that night though saying "hey I was out with some friends watching Monday Niight Football" I'll talk to you tommorow.

Well the next day which was yesterday... she texts me in the evening saying

"having a tough day"

Well I call her a few hours later and we talk for maybe 40 mins or so.... this girl does talk a lot on the phone.... definitely the talkative type.... just when you think she is done... she talks more and more and more lol

But anyway I knew I had to set something up so I basically said

"So I have a question.... when am I going to get to see you again"

She seemed caught off guard but said

"um I dont know...... when are you free"

I said "well during the week Im very busy with work... so weekends are good"

She said "well friday and saturday im free so you pick"

So I decided to set it up for this Saturday and I told her I'd let her know what we could do.

I have to ask for some advice on this.... I'm definitely thinking action date.... Its supposed to be cool this weekend so I think mini golf or anything outdoors is out. So if you have any ideas let me know. The thing with this girl is she talks a lot and whenever I say something sweet or romantic she just responds with sarcasm. Its going to be a challenge to make a move......


Ok but yeah onto the other girl... (the one I kissed closed) I didnt text her since and she hasnt text me either. I think I'm going to text her today though and see when she is free..... One thing I forgot to mention is that the guy she lives with suddenly has feelings for her...... thts why she didnt go away with him this past weekend and I got to see her. He was texting her like crazy while we were out together.... she said she likes him as just a friend but still...... you never know.... right


Well again I'm going to not to post so much on these girls so that I dont over analyze. Ever I'll keep your words in mind about just having fun and not being outcome depedent. You are so right... life goes on and even if it doesn't work out with these girls theres always others. Plus when I'm relaxed and confident I feel better anyway!

 

[Ever onward]

Well I certainly didn't call her back. I actually texted her a little later that night though saying "hey I was out with some friends watching Monday Niight Football" I'll talk to you tommorow.

NICE!

Anyway,

Hey man, don't get me wrong. I don't mind giving advice at all. I just can't guarantee that it will be %100 right and I don't want to screw things up for you. You're doing pretty damn good on your own.

I have to ask for some advice on this.... I'm definitely thinking action date.... Its supposed to be cool this weekend so I think mini golf or anything outdoors is out. So if you have any ideas let me know. The thing with this girl is she talks a lot and whenever I say something sweet or romantic she just responds with sarcasm. Its going to be a challenge to make a move.....

Yeah, it is getting colder. That sucks. I live in a medium size town in Nebraska and I see that you live in Cali. It's probably a little warmer there at least.

What are some options available to you? Go carts? Pool? Bowling? <--kind of lame on a date but still can be fun. Karaoke? I don't sing this myself but it can make for a fun time watch other people. Ohhhh hey, Halloween is coming up, are there any Haunted Houses in your area? It can be REALLY easy to start holding hands if it's dark and you can't see where you're going. That's all I can think of off the top of my head, I'm sure this site has more topics about action dates if you run a search.

Ok but yeah onto the other girl... (the one I kissed closed) I didnt text her since and she hasnt text me either. I think I'm going to text her today though and see when she is free..... One thing I forgot to mention is that the guy she lives with suddenly has feelings for her...... thts why she didnt go away with him this past weekend and I got to see her. He was texting her like crazy while we were out together.... she said she likes him as just a friend but still...... you never know.... right

Her IL does seem a bit low. Maybe time to put up or shut up with this one. A way to find out a girl's IL is to escalate things. Make a date. Does she hesitate? Flirt with her by text. Does she flirt back? On the date go kino. Does she hesitate? Kiss her. Is she into it? Invite her over. Does she hesitate? Basically watch her reactions and take things as far as YOU WANT TO. If she doesn't comply, then that might give you some sort of clue.

 

[Reyaj]

Well I texted her a little while after I wrote this post (the kiss close chick) and said

"so when are you free"

Well it took her a while but responded "I already made plans for Friday and Saturday, but I'm free Sunday"

I texted her back saying "That works for me cause I'm booked Saturday myself" (which is true cause I have the date with the first chick)

Go Karts, Pool, or a haunted house... some good ideas.. I'll have to check into them to see whats around...

 

[Reyaj]

alright everyone...... here's my field report from the weekend. I think I may be saying "next" soon lol but we'll see. It never ceases to amaze me how weird and unpredictable girls are! Sometimes you think you have them and you don't..... sometimes you think they aren't interested and they are..... I think I saw a quote from bagger vance on here that relates perfectly to women in my experiences it goes like "gold is a game that can't be won but only be played" Well it serves true for women I think....

ok but anyway before we get into the weekend and the dates (or at least what were supposed to be dates) let me quickly recap the week before.

On Wednesday I didn't text or call either girl and they didn't text or call me either. So Thursday.... I texted the expensive dinner chick asking her if she'd like to go skating. Ever I was trying hard to take your advice on doing something with action. Well she responded back later that evening saying "Im sorry but I cant do skating, I fall all over the place, please suggest something else" So I texted her back saying I'd let her know. Well later on the same night the player chick who I made out with on our first date texted me later saying "hey just saying hello" I texted her back "saying I hope she was doing well and that I would see her on Sunday"

Well Friday the next day I get a random text from the expensive dinner girl saying "so what are we doing tommorow"

I wait a while and text her back "and say I'll let her know" She responds and says "maybe we can do soemthing relaxing like see a movie"

Well Ever I know what you're thinking.... I was thinking the same thing.... I want to do something action. But anyway she texted me a few other times that same night which was Friday saying "hope you are having fun tonight" I texted her back real late like at 1:30 in the morning saying "I was just hanging with some friends and Ill call her tommorow"

The player chick I hooked up with did not text me Friday.

Ok so anyway Saturday rolls around which is date night with the expensive dinner chick. She texts me in the afternnon saying "hey are we still on for tonight" I texted her back "of course... I can't wait to go skating" A little C&F you know.... Well she texts me back after that saying "lol you are such an ******* lol" I was shocked she used that language but whatever

So anyway in the meantime I was trying to think of a good action date and I called and found a Go-Kart place. I also in the meantime texted messaged the player chick that I hooked up with saying "hey how are you, are we still hanging out tommorow"

Well she texted me back saying "hey I'm not feeling too well, I drank a lot last night and I'm in pain. I hope we can hang out tommorow but I'm not sure"

I texted her back all cool "ohh where did you go drinking"

She texted me back saying "i went to a local bar near my friends house... guys were buying us drinks like crazy, we were so wasted"

Well I responded back "well I'm glad you had fun Let me know how you feel tommorow"

Ok so anyway. I call the expensive dinner chick and we talk about we can do. I find out from her that she went to the movies the night before with her sister and a close guy friend of hers.... but whatever she basically talk off in a tangent before we got to the topic at hand. I suggested go-karts but said I'm cool with seeing a movie too if thats what she wanted to do. She agreed to try go karting we decided to meet at the go karting place at 8:30. Well she got lost as usual but end up getting there 10 minutes late.

Well I had gone inside and there was a long line most of whom which were kids. I also noticed that even though it was an action date... we'd be in different karts and they go kinda fast so we couldn't really talk to each other or anything.... So anyways I said there is a movie theater near by we could go to. She thought that would be a good idea and she said I could just hop in her car so we went.

Well the movies were playing about an hour later from when we got there so while were deciding on which to pick I figured I'd attempt some kino... I touched her arm every now and again to get her attention and while we were looking at the movies she was very close to me... and I definitely felt the electricity....

We went to go have coffee in the mean time and we talked and teased each other a lot..... I felt things were going really well. And again I have to be honest I really like this girl...... She is so down to earth and funny.....

So anyway we finally go into the movie theater and I don't really do much for most of the movie except for watch it. Well anyway I notice she is shivering because she is cold.... so I start rubbing her shoulder gently..... she still is shivering so somehow... I end up putting my arm around her. Now she was sitting close to me and all and she didn't seem to mind or do anything bad when I did put my arm on her.... so I am figuring it was good. Here is the thing though.... while i had my arm around her she still shivered from time to time.... I tried rubbing my hand against hers to initiate a little hand holding.... but there was no movement on her part......

Well ok the movie ends and we walk back to her car.... I touch her shoulder every now and again on the walk back. Well she finally drops me back off at the go karting place. We talk for a few minutes and then I tell her good night and I just go in for the KISS CLOSE

Well she is ready for it.... we kiss nice and soft (she slips a little tongue as well) for a bit... and then she stops. I tell her good night and ask that she let me know when she gets home.


Ok so I don't hear from her a while.... so I text her

"did you get home yet"

She texts me back saying "no Im having coffee with a friend"

Now keep in mind it was like after 2 in the morning and she had to be up at 7 for work next the day. Still I wasn't alarmed because she went out for coffee with her friend last weekend after we had dinner. Well I text her back

"oh ok just wanted to make sure you found your way ok"

She texts me back and says "thank you. ill let you know when I get in"

Well a little while later she texts me "I am home.. good night"

Ok so anyway I'm feeling good. I'm thinking the date went well, I kissed closed etc... right?

Well yesterday Sunday I don't hear from her... which I didn't expect to but I end up telling this girl I am friends with about the date. She told me that because this girl didn't say "she had a nice time" and what not there might not be a good interest level. Well that little seed got planted in my head.... and I really started analyzing everything. I started wondering if she got turned off after I kissed her etc.....

So anyway this was probably a mistake but I texted her last night and said

"Hey I hope work was ok today. I had a very nice time yesterday, Thanks again"

Well this was about 9pm.... she texts me back a few hours later like after 11 and says "oh work was so much fun lol"

That was it..... doesn't even acknowledge what I said about having a nice time with her...

I don't know what to think now seriously.....

Either this girl doesn't have high interest in me or she's playing a game. It sucks because I really do like her..... Oneitis alert right???? I guess this is a good wake up call for me to get back out in the field next weekend and go for some more numbers.......

Oh and about the player girl? Well I texted her yesterday afternoon asking how she was feeling

She said "I have a huge head ache it sucks"

I texted her saying "I guess we should hang out another time"

She responded "yeah we probably should. It sucks cause I really wanted to see you"

Well I played it cool and whatever... I basically texted her saying i hope she sleeps well and feels better. I haven't heard back from her so I think I'm going to text her to see how she's doing.

Maybe it was an excuse who knows....

I guess the point of all this is that what you think the girls interest is may not be the case at all.... and you never really know where you stand.

Ever Onward if you can provide any advice here I would so appreicate it. Same with anyone else that's been following my thread......

Girls are so weird and derranged!

 

[Bible_Belt]

and ask that she let me know when she gets home.

d'oh!!! You blew it right there. Don't ever do that. It was going really well up until then. Good job kissing her.

The problem is that you are turning into Mr Nice Guy as soon as you have a little success. Girls are always trying to imagine your future together, and as soon as they see you being a borefriend, then their interest will drop right away. You need to put effort into putting your own needs first. Don't worry so much about what the date is, but more importantly, make it something that you actually want to do. Choose the activities you enjoy instead of trying to show her a good time. And stop worrying about if she gets home, how she feels, who she likes - who cares? Not the guy who is most likely to have sex with her - he doesn't give a rip about any of that, and that's what makes him fun.

 

[Reyaj]

BB I agree completely. Here's the only difference....

I actually see this girl as something potential for an LTR and not a quick lay, hence my chivalry...

Is it really that bad to be a gentleman??? The girl is a school teacher for heavensakes....

 

[Bible_Belt]

But what seems gentlemanly to you will seem 'needy wuss borefriend' to her. It's also not fun. You are saying 'well this girl is special' and all women will say that they want to feel special, but in the great paradox that is with women, when you treat them that way, it turns into the pedestal treatment and they lose interest right away. Even they won't be able to vocalize why, but they do.

I think it's got to be an evolutionary mechanism within women. The happier a guy is to be with a woman and the luckier he acts, then the more suspicious the woman becomes that she could do better.

It is attractive to a woman when you put your own needs ahead of hers. That does not make sense, but it works. Try it. Put some work into being a selfish, yet fun jerk, and you will come out with about the right mix to keep her guessing and keep her interested.