Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[On Point]

You can flip everything if you're able to stay calm. I.E. "That was a test, I wanted to see if you'd run out and spend all my money. You passed, so I guess we can hang out."

You seem to put a lot of pressure on yourself, try to stay relaxed and have some fun with it.

You might consider doing something where you'll see woman multiple times (i.e. dance lessons or any kind of class) . It's a little less pressure since you don't have to accomplish everything in one interaction.

Keep your head up man.

Then she's like "wait... you forgot your credit card!"

Boy did I feel embarassed.

It was a good opportunity to ask for the phone number though and I blew it.!

 

[Bible_Belt]

doing something where you'll see woman multiple times

Agreed. There have got to be all kinds of charitable organizations in your area. Volunteer to save the whales or something. Environmentalist groups and humane societies that care for animals tend to have a lot of female members. Also a community college class in art, social work, or most of the liberal arts would expose you to a lot of young girls, and allow you to join more groups at the school.

Cold approaching is far from easy and is not everyone's game, although being able to talk to strangers is still an important skill in life. I've always been around girls in school, and have been able to pick out the ones who like me, thus taking the paths of least resistance, so to speak. Everyone has a different style.

Keep it up, and find a way to have fun with it. I agree that this is a great sosuave thread.

 

[Max Power]

Jayer, I just read this whole thread for the first time. Keep approaching and putting up your field reports.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Jayer Read My New Topic, N Man I Read Ur Thread A Couple Of Days Ago N It Really Is A Classic Lol N Not Really In A Good Way Buts Funny Nonedaless. Its Really Pathetic Dat U Only Dis Like 15 Or 12 Approaches In 2 Years.

If U Seen My New Topic, Im Goin For 100 Approaches B4 Dis Month Is Over Wit N Yea I Kno Its Hard To Actually Do Da Approaches But Im Not Really Dat New In Da Game Jus Lil Rusty.

I Do Understand Tho Dat Its Extremely Hard For Shy Ppl Like Urself To Do This. To B Honest I Usded To B Really Shy Also To Da Point Dat I Couldnt Even Do Eye Contact. But After Years Of Bein Shy I Jus Had To Overcome That Also I Had Sale Jobs So I Guess Dats Wat Really Helped Me To Overcome Bein Shy Around Ppl.

All I Have To Say Is Dont Quit Man Even Tho It Might Seem Hard Jus Keep At It N If U Live In Da Nyc Area Den Get At Me N We Can Both Holla At Girls Iight. Holla Early

 

[Reyaj]

On Point

Great suggestion. For some reason though I got really nervous when I thought about making a move. Usually the moves or approaches I make are spur of the moment without analyzing the situation. When I try to analyze and plan I seem to get nervous. That is what happend here. When I drink it seems to inhibit my nervousness and thus results in some of the approaches you read about.

Bible Belt,

I agree that warm approaching is the way to go. My goal of doing this excercise was to kind of shock myself and perhaps jumpstart my confidence. It hasn't worked out that way so far but I hope that next time I post on here I'll have some significant approaches. Any warm approaches, I'll post seperately.


I did go out to a bar/club this weekend. I was really tired though so I wasn't really focused. The place was packed and I walked by these 2 girls that were dancing with each other. Well I chilled a while watching them from the corner of my eye. Well it turns out some guy went up to them and offered to buy them shots. They agreed so the 3 of them were taking a shot together and the guy was talking to them.

Well after observing this a little while I noticed that this guy was paying and talking more to one of them rather than the other. So I made a quick decision to move in to the girl who he wasn't giving that much attention.

Me: hey can I ask you a question
Her: what?
Me: where are you from?
Her: you mean where do I live or nationality?
Me: nationality
Her: I'm puerto rican
Me: oh ok

She then turned her head and started talking to her friend.

Usually if a girl is interested in talking she won't give 1 word answers.

Why are girls so stuck up!

If this were pre historic times all I'd have to do is club them over the head and drag them to my cave!

 

[Agent Zero]

Jayer, my man...you've gotta have thick skin if you want to approach at bars/clubs. Why don't you give daygame a try, girls are much more friendly. But, whatever you do, stop hiding your intentions. What nationality was she??? I'm sure you really gave a ****. Girls know this and they want a guy who will step up and be a man rather than asking indirect questions.

 

[Reyaj]

yeah maybe you are right.

What should I say then? I mean I'll go for the number but I feel weird opening up with that line even though that was my original plan. I'll try some new lines out soon!

 

[Reyaj]

Actually dude I read one of your approaches... I think that's how I should approach it!

 

[lighthouse1956]

Believe it not, Amway (Quixtar) teaches about approuching people using a system called F-O-R-M, (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message). Of course
the intent is to offer their business, but principles are they same.

Have any kids? look interested
Don't you hate working on - Saturdays- Fridays- pretty days like today etc
I noticed a jet ski rental at the beach,ever tried it?
I like your smile, you look lke your fun to be around. Do you like comedy clubs?

 

[Reyaj]

Agent Zero I actually took a look at your thread and I love your method. I think I am going to use it is a template.

Hey can I ask you a question real quick?
(HB7 doesn't say anything but stops and looks at me for my question)
Are you single?
Her: yes (seems happy to say it)
I just wanted to meet you, I'm Agent Zero
Her: HB7, nice to meet you
Her: Why did you ask that?
I just wanted to meet you. I thought you were pretty.
Are you going to class?
Her: No....I am going to meet a friend
I'm heading over to catch the bus
Can I call you sometime?
Her: Sure.....let me give you my number.
(I enter her number in my phone)
Nice to meet you
Her: You too
Me: Have a good day, bye


Now unless I am thinking of hitting up a college campus to try this but for wherever I don't, I can't use the "are you going to class" line.

I will have to mix it up with something else.

Stay Tuned Folks, I'm starting to get motivated.

 

[lyamdb]

Jayer I had the same problem that you are struggling with. I mean vertually not being able to approach at all. Now I know what was keeping my way.
When you are starting to learn, say, skiing for the first time, you are absolutely certain that you're not going to actually ski in the first day. it will just be some boring practice and you probabely won't have a very good time. But when you see a cute girl you think "Ok, lets go for this one. maybe I can get her #."
This is wrong. This is what makes approaching so scary to you. Instead you should tell yourself "OK I have done 4 approaches today. This will be the fifth and then we can call it a day."
You have to start a very long learning process. And the first phase in this process is getting comfortable in the field, which I think will take about 100 approaches done regularly. During this time, it doesn't matter how good you are, how she responds and what's the overall outcome. The only goal is just doing the approach. Now if you actually get laid that's a bonus! But the probability that you get rejected is above 99% I promise. Yet you should feel very boosted after each approach. Because you did your daily practice. Picking up girls is an art. And one needs to be focused, cool and creative in order to be successful with it. None of these things come when we are so nervous and afraid. So, This should be your current reason for approaching:Getting to know the atmosphere of the field, getting comfortable with it. Setting the habit of approaching. Feeling at home in the field.
Try this man, I know it works. It worked for me. Don't go there to pickup. Go there to practice.

 

[CadillacCTS]

this is my first post on this thread.. i been following it for a couple of days.

im basically in the same situation as you are in, i just freeze at the thought of doing cold approachs.. it just seems like the most akward thing that one can do..

i comend you for at least trying.. it doesn't matter if you fail as long as you keep trying you'll get better..

about girls being rude to you.. well, just don't take it personally, just don't, just don't, just don't. they don't even know you.. if they are being rude that's their problem not yours..

i noticed that you often hesitate... well i been thinking and the best thing to remedy this is to blank your mind, don't think, just do it... under no circumstance should you analyze, rationalize or overthink the situation... i know the fear is intense and the anxiety is high but just distract your mind, try to blank it and just take the leap of faith, don't think.. just do it..

i've been thinking of starting an approach journal myself, because i know i have too, i have to commit to this, and i hate commitments but i have to do it.. i need external the external pressure that comes with a commitment..

just keep at it man.. you only fail when you stop trying.. don't think.. just do it..

p.s. i apologize if my grammer is whack, lol. it's almost 3am where i live and i can't focus well.

 

[Reyaj]

You are so right Cadillac. The approaches I have done.. I just used basically like the 3S rule.

Anytime I analyze a situation I never end up doing it.

Last week I was in the eye doctor and the girl working the desk was so cute. I was thinking of asking her for her digits but then as she was helping me try on glasses she said "haha you look just like my brother"

Well I analyzed this as a sign of non-attraction and therefore didn't end up asking her out.

The other day I'm in a fast food restaruant and there is this cutie that works there. Well I want to cold approach her but there's always customers and never the right time. Hence I haven't done it.

The thing that is scary is that when I use the 3S rule I do end up approaching. But often time I see girls who appear to be alone, meet up with their boyfriend within a few minutes.

I can deal with rejection but my worse fear is having to fend off some jealous boyfriend.

Its time to approach!

 

[Agent Zero]

Agent Zero I actually took a look at your thread and I love your method. I think I am going to use it is a template.

Hey can I ask you a question real quick?
(HB7 doesn't say anything but stops and looks at me for my question)
Are you single?
Her: yes (seems happy to say it)
I just wanted to meet you, I'm Agent Zero
Her: HB7, nice to meet you
Her: Why did you ask that?
I just wanted to meet you. I thought you were pretty.
Are you going to class?
Her: No....I am going to meet a friend
I'm heading over to catch the bus
Can I call you sometime?
Her: Sure.....let me give you my number.
(I enter her number in my phone)
Nice to meet you
Her: You too
Me: Have a good day, bye


Now unless I am thinking of hitting up a college campus to try this but for wherever I don't, I can't use the "are you going to class" line.

I will have to mix it up with something else.

Stay Tuned Folks, I'm starting to get motivated.

You're thinking too much. The only script I use is "can I ask you a quick question" and "are you single?". If you plan anything after that you are just setting yourself up to forget things. Stop trying to be so perfect. Your ego is just getting in the way of making an approach.

 

[Reyaj]

is it better to ask are you single or do you have a boyfriend?

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

is it better to ask are you single or do you have a boyfriend?

It shouldn't really matter--Personally, if I was to us an approach like this, I'd ask if they were single. Asking if they have a boyfriend, to me, comes off as being insecure, whereas asking if they are single could come off as something completely different. Yes, it's exactly the same thing--and worlds different.

 

[Reyaj]

I was reading some more of agent's zero's thread and see advice saying not to even ask if the girl is single or not. Just be like "I wanted to meet you" or "I couldn't resist meeting you"


I think I'll just stick to the original script....

 

[Bible_Belt]

There are a few expressions from sales that apply here.

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission," which means 'just do it.'

"It's the customer's job to produce objections, not the salesman's." If she has a bf who matters, she'll tell you. You don't have to ask.

"Assume the sale." Just act like she wants you and go from there.

 

[Reyaj]

Alright so finally I was able to get out this past weekend in a social environment. I did an approach.

I was at this popular lounge that has an outdoor area. So for most of the night I was just sitting with some friends drinking. Well anyway all of a sudden this hot girl that is dressed really slutty (I mean really slutty) just jumps out in the middle of the room and starts dancing..... She looks like she is on ecstasy or something...


Well anyway I see a bunch of guys approaching her on the dancefloor and she is like all into it... rubbing her ass all over them....

Well I certainly wasnt in a dancing mood so I just observed the action.. especially since her since she was dressed so provactively

So anyways she was dancing for a like ass time... but eventually she went by the bar to talk to some of her friends...

Well I basically went by the bar also... kind of positioning myself to bump into her per say... So then I noticed she was on her cell phone... so I basically went next to her since she wasnt paying attention and I was basically looking the other way acting like I didnt know she was there.....

So when I noticed out of the corner of my eye she got off the cell phone I kinda turned toward her and acted like I just noticed her.... then the 3S rule came into play

Me: Hey do you know what time this place closes?
Her: I think at 2am...
Me: ohh ok.... yeah it doesn't seem like its too packed tonight
Her: yea it is much better on thursday nights... I used to work here as a shot girl trust me, come on thursday
Me: Why don't you work here anymore? (acting intrigued)
Her: oh well I work for my fathers construction company. I could do much better than this place... I have a 7 year old daugher I need to take care of
Me: (surprised she had a kid lol but didn't show it) Yeah I hear you on that. Well this is my first time here
Her: wow... you've never been here before? well definitely go on Thursday. I also do promotions for this other lounge
Me: (acting intrigued) really which one where?
Her: (explained place and location) its a really good mix of people
Me: cool. well let me get your number so we can talk more about it
Her: yeah I'll let you know.... (takes out her cell phone)
Me: (takes out my cell phone) whats the number
Her: let me get your number.. Ill text you the info
Me: um ok sure... xxx-xxx-xxxx
(Another guy she either knows or met that guy approaches her and they start talking)
Her: well it was nice meeting you I'll let you know about the club
Me: (kisses her on the cheek confidently) you too bye


Well I didn't get the number! usually when a girl asks for yours they dont want to bother. So I'll count this is a non success.

On a more positive note I'm starting to get my confidence back. See my slump thread I recently went out with a girl I used to date and hooked up.


Approaches: 19
Numbers 11

 

[Bible_Belt]

Wow, talk about thriving on male attention: slvtty dress & dancing, former shot girl, does promotions, works for daddy's construction company (which I guarantee is 90%+ male). I bet women hate her!