Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What job do you think I have?

Do I have to get aroused thinking about your job?

You don't see the problem, do you? Why should your job turn the ladies on? What's the logic behind it, apart from a twisted provider viewpoint? I wouldn't want a woman that gets aroused by how I pay my rent. She should get aroused about my humongous trouser snake, not whether I can buy her a pair of Louboutins.

 

[corrector]

It’s even more than that in my area since the cost of living is among the highest in the country and way above the national average. Unfortunately it has always been for me that no matter how hard I worked or how many extra hours and shifts I was willing to take, I was still never able to afford to rent a place of my own. Rent prices continued to rise while wages stayed stagnant sadly.

That's the thing. There is not just some simple solution when you are being squeezed out.

Imagine if you had to take care of your parents too and do all of the chores in the home (that's kind of my situation).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Still, as mentioned, I get ever so slightly down the next day or whatever when there's no woman to plow.

On the other hand, a few days of abstinence and recharging and you know the next sex session will be more passionate.

 

[corrector]

What's the logic behind it, apart from a twisted provider viewpoint?

Ok, I see what you are saying.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

That's the thing. There is not just some simple solution when you are being squeezed out.

Imagine if you had to take care of your parents too and do all of the chores in the home (that's kind of my situation).

I realize you think this is your greatest obstacle, but millions of men are single dads and in charge of their kids alone, somehow they date and have sex with women. Again, everything is platitudes. Do you not see it? Seriously stop bitchin and start changing your existence, to say you cannot is an excuse.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

thought i saw a comment on either this thread or another thread in this forum, a guy claims he is a 36 year old virgin incel, to each their own, but i see nothing wrong with getting it out of the way with an escort or sex worker, but im aware thats not for everyone.

 

[corrector]

thought i saw a comment on either this thread or another thread in this forum, a guy claims he is a 36 year old virgin incel, to each their own, but i see nothing wrong with getting it out of the way with an escort or sex worker, but im aware thats not for everyone.

Unless you are getting a 3 hour session or overnight, with someone that's vetted, then it's a waste of time or would make it worst. It would take an hour or two for an SP to just to work over the nerves and anxiety and develop any kind of trust to make things comfortable enough to even want to go there with a complete stranger (or partial stranger if you know her through OF) otherwise there would be performance anxiety/grossed-out after the encounter if its too "blow and go" revolving door set-up. Then on top of that you'll need a budget to continue with that for at least twice a month otherwise it's back to square one (ie that's assuming you can go with 1-2 hour visits instead of 3 hours as comfort-level and exposure should make it less necessary to have to book long appointments like at the beginning of this).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I realize you think this is your greatest obstacle, but millions of men are single dads and in charge of their kids alone, somehow they date and have sex with women. Again, everything is platitudes. Do you not see it? Seriously stop bitchin and start changing your existence, to say you cannot is an excuse.

I'm a divorced father taking care of two teenagers. I still make time to go swimming 2-3 times a week, go to the dojo to train twice a week (and train at home every day), work as an independent consultant, write novels and poetry and manage a household.

And I'm involved with three women. Granted, we're past the point where we need to 'date', but I have to spend quite a lot of 'free time' on those relationships.

I'm not saying you're not busy, @corrector, but instead of arguing here with excuses why you 'cannot find the time' to work on yourself is mostly evasion. If you don't have time, you will need to sacrifice something else that takes up time in order to make time.

For instance: Stephen King, in his book On Writing, advises beginning writers who wonder 'where do you find the time to write' to get rid of their television. Television are not necessary and they're a huge time-suck. The hours you spent watching tv-series and movies could be better spent on more meaningful pursuits that will improve the quality of your life.

 

[corrector]

The hours you spent watching tv-series and movies

I haven't watch any Tv-series or movies recently. When there is too much psychological stress the tendency is to look at music videos or ASMRs or podcasts, the things that you would do if you are doing some other activity rather than devote any time to look at any thing exclusively. There has been a gap with TV-series/movies actually.

The point I'm making is there are no hours of free time there I can sit down and watch a tv-series of movies like that.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The point I'm making is there are no hours of free time there I can sit down and watch a tv-series of movies like that.

The point I'm making, and which you seem to completely miss, is that in order to do something that requires time, you will have to sacrifice something else.

Getting rid of your television is an example of a useless activity that you can exchange for a more meaningful activity that would add value to your life.

When there is too much psychological stress the tendency is to look at music videos or ASMRs or podcasts.

No, YOUR tendency is to watch music videos and ASMRs. You do it on a computer and not TV, but that's semantics. It's watching passively in order to soothe your mind that you're wasting your time.
And you can listen to podcasts on your headphones while you do CrossFit.

The thing is that you don't want to do that, so you say you cannot do it. And you'll grab onto any straw to defend your procrastination.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Corrector not sure if you see it but there is starting to be a few of us who want you to reach your goals of getting into a realistic relationship.

But we’re tired of your mental masturbations and cringe posts justifying everything. And we’re regularly calling you out on it. We want to see you succeed but we also see you repeatedly going back to the same pattern of behavior to justify your self described meager life.

We are no longer going to let you do this here, we’re going to call you out on your bs every time.

The Correcting Corrector Brigade is in full effect.

p.s. when are you starting CrossFit?

What’s your height and current weight?

 

[plumber]

I haven't watch any Tv-series or movies recently. When there is too much psychological stress the tendency is to look at music videos or ASMRs or podcasts, the things that you would do if you are doing some other activity rather than devote any time to look at any thing exclusively. There has been a gap with TV-series/movies actually.

The point I'm making is there are no hours of free time there I can sit down and watch a tv-series of movies like that.

Sir, a few years ago I was active with this forum. I notice your post is almost exactly like before. Take a look at the book... "Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life" by John Bishop.

Being stuck sucks. This book does a decent job of directly confronting some issue(s) and providing decent tactical advice.

 

[Gamisch]

Sir, a few years ago I was active with this forum. I notice your post is almost exactly like before. Take a look at the book... "Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life" by John Bishop.

Being stuck sucks. This book does a decent job of directly confronting some issue(s) and providing decent tactical advice.

Well, you can divide redpill topics into a few categories ,imo just THREE/ four;

Men who are successful
Men who struggle with a particular woman
Men struggling but occasionally get some
Men who never get som

The latter ,on a forum like this, will always "steal the show" because we wanna help a struggling brother. Despite all efforts nothing happens tho..

Lets just say that the thread must at least stay open so discussion can develop...

 

[BadBoy89]

When a heterosexual man is struggling with the opposite sex, he's not getting his physical needs met. He's also likely not getting his emotional needs met because friendships between heterosexual males and his relationships with family members can only go so far.

What's his motivation to deal with the drudgery of a white collar or blue collar job if he's not getting his physical or emotional needs met?

A man can get his physical needs met by going to an escort.

For emotional needs, a man would be better off getting a dog because if he sats anything emotional to a woman, she will use it against him. A mans emotions is a woman‘s weapons.

The problem is a lot of men are depending on women to full a missing need in their lives, They don’t understand a woman’s love is conditional and fleeting, it is not forever. Heck, it is not even for 2 weeks in 2024, Yet men make women the focal point of their existence. They see woman as the “cake”instead of the icing on the cake.

Put it this way; would you rather have:

(a) average job, average home, average city, one or 2 friends, and are In a full blown committed relationship living with one woman in her mid to late 30s, she is losing her looks by the day and is pressuring for marriage,

or

(b) great job, great home, great city, good friends, but are struggling to connect with women.


Maybe everyone on Sosuave would pick (a) because at least they are getting sex.

 

[corrector]

Sir, a few years ago I was active with this forum. I notice your post is almost exactly like before. Take a look at the book... "Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life" by John Bishop.

Being stuck sucks. This book does a decent job of directly confronting some issue(s) and providing decent tactical advice.

I downloaded the book from Amazon on Kindle LIbrary. It might be read while working from home, or in the office in the evening between dials if I'm making the sales, etc.... I've read a number of books this way. Books are easy suggestions as they can be squeezed into a work routine.

 

[corrector]

They don’t understand a woman’s love is conditional and fleeting, it is not forever. Heck, it is not even for 2 weeks in 2024,

Do you mean to tell me that they are not like the ASMR "love" videos on youtube where you can hit play on demand and can hear how much a hot woman love you whenever you need to hear that? That's a shock to me.

Do you think a professional cuddler would be a better option than an escort if you were more angling towards the "emotional vs sexual" balance of needs and physicality?

 

[corrector]

Corrector not sure if you see it but there is starting to be a few of us who want you to reach your goals of getting into a realistic relationship.

But we’re tired of your mental masturbations and cringe posts justifying everything. And we’re regularly calling you out on it. We want to see you succeed but we also see you repeatedly going back to the same pattern of behavior to justify your self described meager life.

We are no longer going to let you do this here, we’re going to call you out on your bs every time.

The Correcting Corrector Brigade is in full effect.

p.s. when are you starting CrossFit?

What’s your height and current weight?

My height is 5'10, I'll get to my weight shortly.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well let’s assume your weight is 200lbs your maximum daily caloric input based on light activity is 2000 calories a day, that’s to maintain 200lbs, or to get from wherever you are down to 200lbs. That’s your BMR.

The only way to raise your allowed calories is to increase your activity level, e.g. exercise.

2000 calories is most Americans lunch. Do you know your caloric intake? Do you know that how many calories is say a hard boiled egg? A boneless skinless chicken breast? If not you need to start a food log and look up the calories for each thing you eat and you’ll get an idea how far off you are. No cheat days, no saying you are eating a grilled chicken breast if it was fried etc. a cup of black coffee is just that, if you add sugar or cream you must account for them in your calculations. In a salad you have to account for everything in it including dressing.

If you cheat you’re cheating yourself.

This is the way forward. Anything else is platitudes.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The point I'm making, and which you seem to completely miss, is that in order to do something that requires time, you will have to sacrifice something else.

Getting rid of your television is an example of a useless activity that you can exchange for a more meaningful activity that would add value to your life.


No, YOUR tendency is to watch music videos and ASMRs. You do it on a computer and not TV, but that's semantics. It's watching passively in order to soothe your mind that you're wasting your time.
And you can listen to podcasts on your headphones while you do CrossFit.

The thing is that you don't want to do that, so you say you cannot do it. And you'll grab onto any straw to defend your procrastination.

It’s interesting how he took your argument out of context and veered off track just to win the argument, and then you redirected the conversation back to its original context and he ignored it.

It’s concerning to see someone who’s been a member since 2009, surrounded by a wealth of resources on relationships and personal development, yet still struggling to make progress. It seems like he might be DEERing (defending, explaining, excusing, rationalizing) his situation instead of taking steps to address it. I can’t imagine what excuses he has been using for the past 15 years. He could also be using the site as a platform to win arguments without genuine engagement or intention for personal growth.

I believe there is a possibility of underlying problems such as mommy issues, a lack of love during his younger years, or bullying. I think understanding and addressing these deeper issues may be the key to helping him move forward positively. Personally, this behaviour is so bizarre and the lack of accountability is outrageous.

I am not trying to be hostile against a group member here but it is an important conversation to have. Especially when trying to help someone out (if they want to be help).

 

[kzar_kzar]

L

Just a thought

You don't get envious (at least I don't) when you see another guy that makes more money than you, is more jacked, has a bigger home or drives a nicer car.

However, you will get envious (at least I do) of the attractive woman by his side and sometimes it seems like every other guy out there is in a happy relationship but yourself.

Yes, I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

lack of women and wrong women in life.