Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[inquisitor]

Spoken by someone SEAMaxxing.

That's actually hilarious because I am of pure Filipino descent, and I had to search what that means just to double-check if I understood it correctly.

 

[inquisitor]

Just a thought

You don't get envious (at least I don't) when you see another guy that makes more money than you, is more jacked, has a bigger home or drives a nicer car.

However, you will get envious (at least I do) of the attractive woman by his side and sometimes it seems like every other guy out there is in a happy relationship but yourself.

Yes, I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

If ever there is depression, the root in males would be the loss of a sense of purpose and direction. As such, our most basic source of this sense is the biological imperative. We are genetically hardwired to pass on our genes to future offspring. Nonetheless, there are other possible sources for having purpose and direction as a man.

Hence, struggling with the opposite sex is a link to a deeper reason on why males get depressed.

A guy can't keep a conversation with a girl.
Hence, the guy starts to think of some reason or rationalization why.
If he rationalizes or uses some other defense mechanism, he will start feeling envious of the other dudes and feel sorry for himself.
Then, his subconscious now starts to believe that maybe he is not worth having offspring with, because girls around him seem to show him that. Then, he starts questioning his worth.
Then, he gets depressed.

What we don't immediately see is in italics.

 

[needimprovement250]

some decades ago, people and society would view 21 as being very late for being a virgin, but in todays modern times, its kinda the norm, even kinda the norm to surpass mid-20s or more, won't surprise me as decades go by, being a 30 year old virgin or older will not be seeing as weird anymore, but as expected or the norm.

Yeah that wouldn’t surprise me either. It seems like a lot of men are losing their virginity at a later age these days. Maybe this is due to the way that the dating landscape has changed thanks to OLD, and also the 80-20 rule but I don’t think that has as much truth as incels like to believe it does.

 

[needimprovement250]

How do you think people without experience, get experience?

They pretend they have experience, and they proceed to doing. That's all there is to it.

You do it wrong or right, it's experience.
What you do for the wrong is you learn.
What you do for the right is you do it again.
Simple.

As long as you learn from the wrong, and do the right again, experience grows and grows.

If you get it right and forget it, the experience is gone.
If you get it right but ignore it, the experience is gone.
If you get it wrong and do it again, the experience is gone.
If you get it wrong and forget the lesson, the experience is gone.

If you get it wrong and wallow or be sad about it, it's part of the experience.
If you get it right and get excited, it's part of the experience.

Stop comparing. Live life on your own terms now.

Also, people can most definitely relate on being alone. All of us have been alone at some point, the difference is some people took action, took risks, took initiative. Failure did not matter. Regret is thrown out the window.

Know what you want, learn how to get it, then go get it.

I get what you’re saying, the point I was trying to make is that I’m so far behind on doing what you describe that I’ve felt that most women are not gonna have the patience for that and I will get nexted by pretty much all of them and the risk will never come with reward.

 

[needimprovement250]

So don't let them know you don't have experience, and practice talking to women more. You'll be surprised how much experience you'll get when you just practice.

Also, get out of your negative mindset. Don't lose further hope by believing in something that is not even true or verified by you.

I definitely wouldn’t let them know. The biggest issue is if they bring up the subject of past relationships and dating history. From what I’ve been told on this thread, adamantly refusing to talk about that probably wouldn’t work and there’s so way I’m just gonna admit that I’m inexperienced.

I feel like there is some truth to it since there’s a lot of frustrated guys in this situation who keep getting repeatedly rejected just because they have no experience. But you are right that this hasn’t been verified by me.

So date younger women, and again, you don't have to tell them. Why tell them? Just enjoy their company.

I feel like the whole selling point to younger women for them to date an older guy is that he’ll have more experience. They seem to like the idea of dating guys older than them because they’ll probably be better in bed than guys in their age group from more sexual experience and also be better at handling a relationship from more relationship experience. When a younger woman comes across an older guy who has less experience than she does despite the age gap, it is extremely off putting and they run away from him immediately.

You have all the advice you need in here. Also read The Rational Male or The Book of Pook, or a hundred more books on masculinity that has been shared in this forum. Aside from that, all you lack is action.

Just meet women. Doesn't matter yet if you want to fūck her or date her.

Just meet women. Go visit places and meet women there.

Just meet women. Listen more than you talk, so you learn more about them, so yo again the experience you need.

Well there is a dating coach that I’m long overdue on working with and need to hire. I will also use the materials available on the forum. I never meet women, that’s my biggest problem. I haven’t met any women in the past 7 years and I’m still hung up on that one I met back then because I haven’t met anyone new.

 

[Gamisch]

Just out of curiosity, what do incels do for fun? It seems like a very pessimistic way of living.

Well, they'll do everything that they think is fun while actually accepting that women don't want/see them.

It's a catch 22; the incel walks with his head down while women want a man walking with his head up ,chest out. It's a perpetual cycle that never ends.

They will have hobbies,play games , most will be extremely family oriented. The latter is kind if ironic because it's that same family that will question their sexual orientation and shyte like that. One incel I know actually lives quite an interesting life. He just lacks the intencive, self belief and basic social skills to get ANY woman interested.

Eventually some incels will brute force their way to p00sy either through hookers, passport bro-ing ,or arranged marriage. But we are arguably all have to " brute force " our way to get p00sy (as in it doesn't matter who you are you must take action).

 

[Gamisch]

I get what you’re saying, the point I was trying to make is that I’m so far behind on doing what you describe that I’ve felt that most women are not gonna have the patience for that and I will get nexted by pretty much all of them and the risk will never come with reward.

Listen my son

You gotta be smooth with it. The ex topic is the easiest yet most effective shyte test there is for women. Due to your lack if experience, you fail this test (like many men, I did it as well..) by completely emptying an emotional cesspool about boohoo how bad the ex was..

I get that you are in the infamous perpetual loop of not having a history of relationships, thus not getting new ones, right?

But you can and MUST simply make use of some tactics. Dating is way more tactical than you think ( I geuss you teel like to believe that dating is a 100% emotional thing). If there is one mistake I used to make it was talking bad about my exes. Now mind you, I got away with it oftentimes because the women already decided they wanted to feck me. But nowadays I simply talk positive about my exes, my baby momma, ect ect

How can YOU make use of my example? By being mysterious and yet positive about your (imaginary??) ex.
Her: so ...what about your past relationships?
You: you know, i am grateful for all the experiences she gave me. But we werent ready for it yadiya ( or something like this)

And silence. If she pushes the issue you simply say something cliche yet romantic like " we both weren't ready I geuss" and end the topic . Enough about past, let's enjoy this moment RIGHT NOW.

If you REALLY want to get out of this predicament, you'll learn that ESPECIALLY the man you'll pay to light a fire under your azz will tell you to TELL THEM WHITE LIES. Period. It's better to remain somewhat mysterious instead of completely losing your shyte about the topic.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Well, they'll do everything that they think is fun while actually accepting that women don't want/see them.

It's a catch 22; the incel walks with his head down while women want a man walking with his head up ,chest out. It's a perpetual cycle that never ends.

They will have hobbies,play games , most will be extremely family oriented. The latter is kind if ironic because it's that same family that will question their sexual orientation and shyte like that. One incel I know actually lives quite an interesting life. He just lacks the intencive, self belief and basic social skills to get ANY woman interested.

Eventually some incels will brute force their way to p00sy either through hookers, passport bro-ing ,or arranged marriage. But we are arguably all have to " brute force " our way to get p00sy (as in it doesn't matter who you are you must take action).

That’s cool.

Do incels want to date people? Do they know that in order for them to play the game they have to do things that add value to their lives? (Gym, cars, clothes, social circle, hobbies, travels, experiences, houses, etc)

I have heard of incels before but have never seen one or interacted with one of them until I came into this site.

 

[corrector]

That’s cool.

Do incels want to date people? Do they know that in order for them to play the game they have to do things that add value to their lives? (Gym, cars, clothes, social circle, hobbies, travels, experiences, houses, etc)

I have heard of incels before but have never seen one or interacted with one of them until I came into this site.

That does not sound realistic if you are working at a low-wage job and don't have any free time. It's like saying if you win the lottery or are just born into a life of wealth or priviledge that you'll have no problem getting girls. Thanks for telling us something that we don't know.

Are all the people you interact with rich?

 

[hellonwheels]

That’s cool.

Do incels want to date people? Do they know that in order for them to play the game they have to do things that add value to their lives? (Gym, cars, clothes, social circle, hobbies, travels, experiences, houses, etc)

I have heard of incels before but have never seen one or interacted with one of them until I came into this site.

If you’re asking this question then you have a pretty poor understanding of what incel means.

Incel is a portmanteau for ‘Involuntary Celibate’. Incels believe they are unable to access sex, mainly due to genetic factors, evolutionary predetermined processes of mate selection and societal structures. They believe women find them unattractive and that women are only interested in handsome ‘alpha males’ (also called ‘Chads’). The ‘80/20 Rule’ is commonly mentioned amongst incels, meaning that the most attractive 20% of men have monopolised 80% of women.

 

[corrector]

If you’re asking this question then you have a pretty poor understanding of what incel means.

Incel is a portmanteau for ‘Involuntary Celibate’. Incels believe they are unable to access sex, mainly due to genetic factors, evolutionary predetermined processes of mate selection and societal structures. They believe women find them unattractive and that women are only interested in handsome ‘alpha males’ (also called ‘Chads’). The ‘80/20 Rule’ is commonly mentioned amongst incels, meaning that the most attractive 20% of men have monopolised 80% of women.

Or he could be trolling. However, the incels on here, including myself do have financial challenges and are really poorcels.

For example, no incel on here looks like they have resources or a decently paying job. If you take @needimprovement250, he is doing DoorDash. He complains he has no experience, and there is a catch-22, but we don't talk about the Elephant in the Room, and that he's doing DoorDash and is poor, and if he won the lottery and was a millionaire, do you think women would reject him on inexperience? The other incel that posts here (aside from myself) sounds poor too. If most of my time wasn't siphoned off on a low-paying job and taking care of my parents with any free time I have then I probably wouldn't be that incel myself. Even a visit to any GYM is a luxury of time. If you have no free time and no money (ie what little money you make is just paying bills) then I don't think any other cover excuse is to blame (ie inexperience).

 

[Redwood]

Just out of curiosity, what do incels do for fun? It seems like a very pessimistic way of living.

Videogames, anime and porn usually.

 

[hellonwheels]

Or he could be trolling. However, the incels on here, including myself do have financial challenges and are really poorcels.

For example, no incel on here looks like they have resources or a decently paying job. If you take @needimprovement250, he is doing DoorDash. He complains he has no experience, and there is a catch-22, but we don't talk about the Elephant in the Room, and that he's doing DoorDash and is poor, and if he won the lottery and was a millionaire, do you think women would reject him on inexperience? The other incel that posts here (aside from myself) sounds poor too. If most of my time wasn't siphoned off on a low-paying job and taking care of my parents with any free time I have then I probably wouldn't be that incel myself. Even a visit to any GYM is a luxury of time. If you have no free time and no money (ie what little money you make is just paying bills) then I don't think any other cover excuse is to blame (ie inexperience).

I see your point, but while lack of money/time is the main hurdle for you there are plenty of poor people outside this forum getting laid.

I’d say most people falling under the term incel (which shouldn’t be a lifetime label) majorly lack the social skills necessary to secure sex. Public Speaking classes, volunteer events, improv, group therapy or whatever to increase comfortability/experience with social interactions should be the main focus for self improvement.

 

[corrector]

I see your point, but while lack of money/time is the main hurdle for you there are plenty of poor people outside this forum getting laid.

I’d say most people falling under the term incel (which shouldn’t be a lifetime label) majorly lack the social skills necessary to secure sex. Public Speaking classes, volunteer events, improv, group therapy or whatever to increase comfortability/experience with social interactions should be the main focus for self improvement.

I was responding mainly to the way @Rainrain was portraying the issues. Socials are from another angle, but comes from a healthier mindset than saying you have to live a 1%er lifestyle in order to get a girl.

 

[Learning Curve]

Just a thought

You don't get envious (at least I don't) when you see another guy that makes more money than you, is more jacked, has a bigger home or drives a nicer car.

However, you will get envious (at least I do) of the attractive woman by his side and sometimes it seems like every other guy out there is in a happy relationship but yourself.

Yes, I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

Everything looks great on the outside.

When you dive deep, you find sh1t ton of problems you can't even imagine.

 

[jhonny9546]

I keep reminding myself it literally takes one chance encounter with a woman who's keen on you and everything changes immediately

This

 

[Gamisch]

Sometimes I will come across a couple where a very average looking guy will have a cute chick and I'll be like wtf

But then in 2022 when I was dating a HB8 for a while someone could have thought the same about me

Its all abstract

I wouldn't say i's the main cause of male depression ......being directionless and aimless is

When a man retreats within himself and starts doubting himself thats when the problems start

If your improving yourself every day , being uncomfortable and putting yourself out there life will get better

I keep reminding myself it literally takes one chance encounter with a woman who's keen on you and everything changes immediately

No way can a situation like that be the main cause of depression

Spot on. Luck happens when opportunity meets preparation . In chess we say that the better player is somehow always lucky..

Ironically enough the same men who are now complaining because they have no women/woman , will be the same who'll complain about not being able to control a woman once they get one.

You might go from zero to three women and suddenly you're bytching about all the time ,money and energy you are spending.

Most men get opportunities on a daily, they just are never prepared. If a man * @corrector * starts working out today, he might have a sixpack next year. That's no coincidence or luck, its effort and energy that gets rewarded.

You gotta walk around with an attitude that is akin to the God complex; any woman interested shall be saluted for having a great taste, while simultaneously it wont be a surprise to you because again, you are working on yourself day in and out.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Or he could be trolling. However, the incels on here, including myself do have financial challenges and are really poorcels.

For example, no incel on here looks like they have resources or a decently paying job. If you take @needimprovement250, he is doing DoorDash. He complains he has no experience, and there is a catch-22, but we don't talk about the Elephant in the Room, and that he's doing DoorDash and is poor, and if he won the lottery and was a millionaire, do you think women would reject him on inexperience? The other incel that posts here (aside from myself) sounds poor too. If most of my time wasn't siphoned off on a low-paying job and taking care of my parents with any free time I have then I probably wouldn't be that incel myself. Even a visit to any GYM is a luxury of time. If you have no free time and no money (ie what little money you make is just paying bills) then I don't think any other cover excuse is to blame (ie inexperience).

Only one of my incel freinds/acquaintances is poor.

 

[Mike32ct]

Only one of my incel freinds/acquaintances is poor.

How are their social/communication skills?

 

[Gamisch]

If you lack selfworth and self respect, you won't feel the need to work on yourself.

But I'd even say that a lotta incels are too selfish to make themselves as " feckable as possible " for their possible future partner .

I once read a reddit comment from a woman that was spot on; in ( Miami?) YOU as a man cannot afford to NOT hit the gym.