Is male depression mostly linked to lack of female companionship?

[The Duke]

@needimprovement250
What about if it isn’t on a first date? Is it still a bad idea to say it that way even if the past relationships topic gets brought up on a subsequent date?
I wouldn't provide full disclosure until there is some sort of committment between you two. Keep it fun and light and you can keep most of that stuff at bay.

I guess that would be better than just adamantly saying you’re not gonna talk about that right now because if you get defensive, it will just make her even more curious about your past I’m guessing?
Yes, they are always looking for ways to disqualify you early on. They have many options and thats how they weed out guys. Its better to get the hook set and have them eating out of your hand. Once they start to develop feelings they overlook a lot of things. Your goal is to develop a connection that allows those feelings to develop. You want the love drugs(hormones) to kick in.

For me it wasn’t 10 years ago, I have never been in a relationship or even dated a girl casually. Would it be better to just say dating was never a priority instead of saying I’ve been out of dating for awhile considering that?
Don't say you have never been in a relationship. Simply say you dated a few girls in the past and other things in life got in the way so they never really went anywhere.

Its no different than going to a job interview. You don't tell the company things that make you look bad.

Women are notorious for not being honest and forthcoming for who they are.
1. they all wear makeup to hide their blemishes and look more youthful than they really are.
2. they all wear heels to look taller and thinner.
3. they all wear padded bras, pushup bras or have fake t!ts so they appear more impressive than they really are.
4. Lots have hair extensions, lip injections, crows feet injections, etc.

They are NEVER forthcoming about any of that. They don't want to blow themselves out and risk you not liking them.

So why in the hell should you be worried about your lack of relationship history. YOU SHOULDN'T. Go hustle up some girls, and start dating. You can fix your problem really quick. Instead you sit here overanalyzing schitt in your head too much.

Stop thinking of excuses of why you shouldn't do things. Start thinking of reasons of why you should do things. Blow thru that mental roadblock you are creating for yourself.

When in doubt, go for it. If you crash and burn, so what. I've crashed and burned many times. I'm still here.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP I know that you think all of this is important, but I have news for you: it isn’t.

You’re sitting here in analysis. Stop thinking and start doing. None of the crap you’re wondering about is going to get you a date, get dates first, if you struggle in the dates come to us for answers. Frankly I think you’re not having success even getting dates. First things first.

And if you are, you’re talking too much. Lie about your past, just do it. You’re in extenuating circumstances, embellish the truth and get past this block you have in your head. If you get them in bed and you suck, the only thing that will help is experience happens to most men, they simply suck at sex, some improve but it’s linked to experience.

Stop bellyaching and overthinking. Get dates, get laid, forget LTRs for now, get some leg.

 

[Gamisch]

No.

That's like saying, not being filthy rich leads to a depression. Or not having a 22 y.o insta models in your roster. It can obviously be tied together, but that is on the individual man himself to let it determine how he views himself..


The biggest myth is that a woman will make you happy. Blackpill incels are actually hyper aware of this, they just don't know how to enter the " sweet spot" where a tasking job like getting and keeping women is within their control. Very quickly they'll feel like the experience from the opposite sex is somehow negative, even if it simply due to the lack of attention from women.

If anything, being overly reliant on women will DEFINITELY make you unhappy. Been there waaaaay too many times.

 

[NealIRC]

I haven't read anything past the first page in this thread.

Anyone claiming they cannot gain weight - is not actually trying to. Same goes for those claiming they cannot lose weight.

Same thing goes for any guy saying he cannot talk to girls, or lose his inceldom status.
The irony of all these things, is that you are literally choosing to not do the things you know you need to do, and are "involuntarily" celibate as a result.

Fvcking clowns.

Can't gain weight. Tried eating at an all-you-can-eat buffet and eating eggs and muscle milk, before working out.

In addition I've also tried eating sweet potatoes at buffets too at some time.

All it did is made me excess crap so...

Eat 6 boiled eggs a day along with oatmeal in the morning, get in 2 chicken breasts and Greek yogurt, go to the grocery store every day, learn the time they discount stuff to save money, use it same day it you have to

In addition I've also tried eating sweet potatoes at buffets too at some time.

All it did is made me excess crap so...

 

[Clockwerk50]

All these topics remind me of a meme I saw the other day.

The meme was set in Mexico and it showed a black man talking to a Mexican girl. The caption read something like, 'The Haitian man just arrived in your country, bought a car, landed a job, and now he's got a girlfriend while you're still living with your parents.'

I do not remember if it was 'still living with your parents' or 'what are you doing with your life,' but the message is still the same. It shows how some people are taking action and making progress, while others are stuck in negative spirals, filled with 'can'ts' and 'won'ts' in their vocabulary.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Can't gain weight. Tried eating at an all-you-can-eat buffet and eating eggs and muscle milk, before working out.

In addition I've also tried eating sweet potatoes at buffets too at some time.

All it did is made me excess crap so...

In addition I've also tried eating sweet potatoes at buffets too at some time.

All it did is made me excess crap so...

Have you tried eating pop-tarts constantly? That will bulk you quickly.

Sweet potatoes are low in calories and it is meant for cutting.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

No.

That's like saying, not being filthy rich leads to a depression. Or not having a 22 y.o insta models in your roster. It can obviously be tied together, but that is on the individual man himself to let it determine how he views himself..


The biggest myth is that a woman will make you happy. Blackpill incels are actually hyper aware of this, they just don't know how to enter the " sweet spot" where a tasking job like getting and keeping women is within their control. Very quickly they'll feel like the experience from the opposite sex is somehow negative, even if it simply due to the lack of attention from women.

If anything, being overly reliant on women will DEFINITELY make you unhappy. Been there waaaaay too many times.

Actually. having a woman makes me happy. .

 

[Modern Man Advice]

No. Lack of purpose is. And made worse by focusing on things men cannot control.

 

[corrector]

Actually. having a woman makes me happy. .

Yeah, agreed. Even if it's on a level of an aquaintence, friendship, or OnlyFans girl. I actually felt happy at work yesterday based on a chat with an OF-girl I'm still talking to. When you feel like you can say anything, even if it's totally off the wall, and not be judged for being creepy or wierd and get nice/positive messages back, and know this girl is real (ie don't worry I'm not stupid) then it does make me feel happy too. You've got a vote from an incel.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Saying you don't kiss and tell with a wink should be good enough. There are also a number of people who have had a number of short term experiences but have no long term relationship. If you need to have been in a relationship for at least a year, that would disqualify allot of guys on here including myself. You can't worry about a woman's questions/standareds too much. People fib around all the time, that is why it's called game or fake it until you make it.

This shouldn't be the kiss of death if she’s into you. Years ago. I was just starting to date an early ‘20s coworker. I was in my 30s. She said ‘Is something wrong with you? You’re not married.’. I got furious and cut contact. She called me up, crying & apologized. We went on to have a LTR.

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah, agreed. Even if it's on a level of an aquaintence, friendship, or OnlyFans girl. I actually felt happy at work yesterday based on a chat with an OF-girl I'm still talking to. When you feel like you can say anything, even if it's totally off the wall, and not be judged for being creepy or wierd and get nice/positive messages back, and know this girl is real (ie don't worry I'm not stupid) then it does make me feel happy too. You've got a vote from an incel.

Actually. having a woman makes me happy. .

Ofcourse I get joy from being around the right woman. Just like I enjoy driving a Lambo.

But the question was whether a man's depression is tied to not having a woman. I think that's way too much. A man who believes that a woman will save him hasn't been with women on a intense level, like living together, marriage ,and / or kids.

 

[NealIRC]

... so you ate a caloric surplus a couple times and concluded that the laws of thermodynamics just don't apply to you..?

Fvck outta here dude. I hate this victim mentality sh*t that's infecting people we used to call "men".

I think it's genetics. I've been skinny all my life, whether I fast or eat at buffets daily.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You don't get envious (at least I don't) when you see another guy that makes more money than you, is more jacked, has a bigger home or drives a nicer car.

No, but lots of us do become envious when we recall a court of law acquitting Eddie Gallagher for sticking a K-Bar knife through the heart of a scrawny 16 year old ISIS fighter, then think to ourselves:

"There's no way in hell I could do the exact same thing to any of The Crips or Vatos Locos who are constantly hanging around in front of Safe Way, pestering me for change. Where the f-ck did I go wrong in my life?"

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Unlikely. It's more often linked to low T levels which are at epidemic level proportions these days, even among teenagers and guys in their early 20s.


The average 22 year old male these days has T levels around 420-430 which is the same as 70 year olds had in the 1960s.

Now ask yourself the real question. Why haven't the giant red flags been raised and why are they allowing the male endocrine system to be assaulted since day 1 on this earth(and likely before in the womb) and do nothing about it except turn a blind eye and pretend it isn't happening.

That is what needs to be figured out...raise T levels and a lot of "depression" symptoms magically disappear. Bad business for Big Pharma and Psychologists, Psychiatrists and everyone else who deals with mental health.

Testosterone is dirt cheap...most of those drugs for mental health and all the new ones that are continuously coming out are not.

"Epidemiological and observational studies highlight that men suffering from depression have lower circulating testosterone levels (17, 75, 76) and higher prevalence and greater severity of sexual symptoms (78, 95, 96, 98). "

Frontiers | The association of hypogonadism with depression and its treatments

According to World Health Organization estimates, 5% of the adult population worldwide suffers from depression. In addition to the affective, psychomotor and...

www.frontiersin.org

Why Are Men's Testosterone Levels Decreasing?

Odds are your grandad had higher testosterone levels than you — but why?

www.medichecks.com

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This is the elephant in the room. No one seems to care or even acknowledge it.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I lost mine at 21 too. I would agree that isn’t really considered late by today’s standards. I actually told the girl that I lost my virginity to that I was a kissless virgin at 21 out of pure nervousness and she wasn’t deterred. But I do think the lack of experience is looked at differently in your 30’s compared to early 20’s. I would probably try to avoid answering so that I’m not outright lying and would probably say something like I just want to keep the past in the past for now and I don’t think that’s a discussion we need to have at this point in time and change the subject. Do you think that would work, or is that something that most women will not let go and will persist until you give them an answer?

some decades ago, people and society would view 21 as being very late for being a virgin, but in todays modern times, its kinda the norm, even kinda the norm to surpass mid-20s or more, won't surprise me as decades go by, being a 30 year old virgin or older will not be seeing as weird anymore, but as expected or the norm.

 

[BaronOfHair]

some decades ago, people and society would view 21 as being very late for being a virgin, but in todays modern times, its kinda the norm, even kinda the norm to surpass mid-20s or more, won't surprise me as decades go by, being a 30 year old virgin or older will not be seeing as weird anymore, but as expected or the norm.

Yeah... In antiquity and Medieval centuries, it was odd to not have 5 or more kids by age 21, and to be dead by 30. Since the passing of this grand era, our quality of life hath deteriorated more gruesomely than Micheal J. Fox's fine motor skills, post-1998

 

[hellonwheels]

Now ask yourself the real question. Why haven't the giant red flags been raised and why are they allowing the male endocrine system to be assaulted since day 1 on this earth(and likely before in the womb) and do nothing about it except turn a blind eye and pretend it isn't happening.

That is what needs to be figured out...

You don't think this lower T levels is getting enough attention? I see this all the time and it baffles me people are even surprised by it. Just look at how unhealthy majority of males are with all the creature comforts of today. It’s self-assault similar to obesity. The answer is pretty simple - exercise, sunlight, healthy diet, sleep for a healthy T level unless you have some type of medical condition. Big Pharma, Joe Rogan, Nugenix are all selling snake oil that boosting T is a cure to everything when it’s not the root cause.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You don't think this lower T levels is getting enough attention? I see this all the time and it baffles me people are even surprised by it. Just look at how unhealthy majority of males are with all the creature comforts of today. It’s self-assault similar to obesity. The answer is pretty simple - exercise, sunlight, healthy diet, sleep for a healthy T level unless you have some type of medical condition. Big Pharma, Joe Rogan, Nugenix are all selling snake oil that boosting T is a cure to everything when it’s not the root cause.

I've often wondered what populations these samples are studying. If we're looking exclusively at The T Levels of

A). Guys at the lower ends of the socioeconomic ladder, who spend the majority of their off-hours binge watching Season 1-6 Game Of Thrones for the billionth time and playing X-Box


Or

B). Card-carrying Progressives in The Bay Area who've been vegan for decades

Then with these two demographics, we've covered a large percentage of the male population in Post-Industrial America. Their T Levels being lower than Kate Upton's IQ is less surprising than "discovering" most former American Idol contestants are now holding down 9-5 employment

And that being patted by Simon Cowell on the top of their skulls, after they gifted him a mediocre hummer during commercial break, was the closest most of these folks ever got to fame and fortune

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You don't think this lower T levels is getting enough attention? I see this all the time and it baffles me people are even surprised by it. Just look at how unhealthy majority of males are with all the creature comforts of today. It’s self-assault similar to obesity. The answer is pretty simple - exercise, sunlight, healthy diet, sleep for a healthy T level unless you have some type of medical condition. Big Pharma, Joe Rogan, Nugenix are all selling snake oil that boosting T is a cure to everything when it’s not the root cause.

No it's far more in depth than that. It has to do with the Advent of plastics and pesticides and environmental conditions first and foremost that load the body with Xenoestrogens that are very hard to get rid of.

None of that other stuff explains how things would drop decade over decade.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Just a thought

You don't get envious (at least I don't) when you see another guy that makes more money than you, is more jacked, has a bigger home or drives a nicer car.

However, you will get envious (at least I do) of the attractive woman by his side and sometimes it seems like every other guy out there is in a happy relationship but yourself.

Yes, I think most male depression is linked to struggling with the opposite sex.

Yes this is a factor but having a woman on your arm is not a panacea. Wanting what others have is just another way that desire causes suffering.

Women (especially young women) emit pheromones that certainly put men in a good "mood." But again this is short term and not a long term fix to depression or loneliness. You'll either get used to one woman or multiple women, either way you'll be back at your baseline.

IME the best medicine is having a passion to pursue, whether it's a hobby, profession, or just something I love doing for its own sake. Set goals, put in the work, imagine the results and get to them.