Is it even worth it for a guy like me to try with making moves in-person?

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Undergone his fair share of headshrinking

I'm sure your big head could handle some shrinkage

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's also a fact that you haven't made near enough approaches to even contemplate that

OP's not that much different from someone who was bit by a dog ONCE, and is now terrified to walk down the street. Such maladies aren't easy to remedy by any means, nonetheless getting past them IS highly achievable, and there's no shortage of technology out there to aid this process

The onus is on him to start taking action now, instead of remaining addicted to intellectualizing his difficulties

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm sure your big head could handle some shrinkage

I won't turn down the opportunity to enlarge my Little Head, once the technology for doing so becomes reliable

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I won't turn down the opportunity to enlarge my Little Head, once the technology for doing so becomes reliable

I didn't know you were that insecure about your trouser worm.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The gynocentric social order in Western nations does give older men a rough time for dating substantially younger women.

Yet another Red Pill canard that collapses under mild scrutiny: Kat McPhee is married to/having babies with a man in his 70s, and 30something Lizzy Winstead and Alexandra Daddario are doing likewise with guys in their 50s. The public at large at worst has a little giggle over this, then wishes them all well. By contrast, pair-ups like Aaron and Sam Taylor Johnson or Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles are openly reviled

If OP thinks he won't be subject to these same social dynamics, when not even our glitterati could escape them, he's in for a rude awakening

 

[GoodMan32]

Yet another Red Pill canard that collapses under mild scrutiny: Kat McPhee is married to/having babies with a man in his 70s, and 30something Lizzy Winstead and Alexandra Daddario are doing likewise with guys in their 50s. The public at large at worst has a little giggle over this, then wishes them all well. By contrast, pair-ups like Aaron and Sam Taylor Johnson or Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles are openly reviled

If OP thinks he won't be subject to these same social dynamics, when not even our glitterati could escape them, he's in for a rude awakening

What about Madonna and her younger men? I don't hear her getting much flack.

Besides, I really don't give a damn if society judges me for being into older women.

Speaking of older women, I ran the idea by my therapist that my mom's hurtful comments during my teen years could have contributed to my age preference.

 

[BaronOfHair]

What about Madonna and her younger men? I don't hear her getting much flack

Madonna had already degenerated into self-parody by time she started pulling that crap. The story would've been different had she done so during the late 80s-early 90s, when her career was going gang busters

Besides, I really don't give a damn if society judges me for being into older women

You wouldn't be on this site if you didn't care about influencing the rest of humanity's perception of you, so that they in turn will be more amenable to conceding to your wishes. I commend you for this. Most supposed men today are too pu-sy to be that honest with themselves

Speaking of older women, I ran the idea by my therapist that my mom's hurtful comments during my teen years could have contributed to my age preference.

Kings to you for doing so. What did he say in reply?

 

[GoodMan32]

Madonna had already degenerated into self-parody by time she started pulling that crap. The story would've been different had she done so during the late 80s-early 90s, when her career was going gang busters






You wouldn't be on this site if you didn't care about influencing the rest of humanity's perception of you, so that they in turn will be more amenable to conceding to your wishes. I commend you for this. Most supposed men today are too pu-sy to be that honest with themselves




Kings to you for doing so. What did he say in reply?

In the late 80s to early 90s, Madonna was only in her early 30s. There wouldn't have been a stigma about a 30 year old woman getting with a, say, 22 year old guy.

I'd like to do better with the ladies, yeah (which is the main reason I'm on here). That being said, my age preference is a hard line (in other words, I'm not looking to change my age preference).

As for my therapist, we're covering all sorts of topics in the course of my therapy. I didn't have a chance to mention the mom thing until the final 10 minutes. He pretty much just said, yeah, it's possible that could play a role in why I prefer older women (and he said we'll discuss the mom topic in more depth at our next session)

 

[GoodMan32]

Some other stuff my therapist said during the session (about other topics):

He said even though it's more common today for a woman to make a move on a man (compared to several decades ago), the difference is minimal. He said he'd estimate at least 85% of women still prefer the man to make the move. Which wasn't what I wanted to hear (but I acknowledge the fact the truth unfortunately won't always be what I want to hear).

He went on to say many a woman will drop hints that they want you to make a move on her, however. The bad news though: He said even non-spectrum men have a hard enough time deciphering her hints.

 

[corrector]

He went on to say many a woman will drop hints that they want you to make a move on her, however. The bad news though: He said even non-spectrum men have a hard enough time deciphering her hints.

What hints are you aware of?

 

[GoodMan32]

What hints are you aware of?

Some examples:

A woman commented to me once that she found some dresses in the back of her closet that she hardly ever wears. Then she said maybe she'll finally get a chance to wear one of her dresses if she ever gets asked out again (this same woman has told me I have good looks before).

A woman at the gym started a discussion with me. Then she continued the discussion while she stretched (obviously I had no choice but to continue looking in her direction, as we were in the middle of a discussion). There's more I could say about this woman; feel free to DM me if you want to hear more (for privacy reasons).

Female customer rubbed my back at work.

Another female customer asked where my accent comes from (and said she liked my accent).

On another thread, I mentioned my female next door neighbor (who has approximately 20 years on me) saying "nothing wrong with an older woman" (upon finding out I'm into older women)

Female coworker at a past job commented on my eyes and flawless skin.

Female coworker back in 2020 would act handsy with me.

Female coworker back in 2023, when I asked her about her nails, told me she treated herself for Valentine's Day (in other words, basically advertising that she was single)

Female coworker back in 2019 or 2020 drew a picture of me holding a bouquet of flowers (and gave me the picture). She also asked me once whether I have a girlfriend/wife.

 

[GoodMan32]

I am going to add, @corrector , that I'm not 100% sure if any of these hints mean they wanted me to make a move.

All I'm saying is they could have been clues that I was supposed to make a move.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In the late 80s to early 90s, Madonna was only in her early 30s. There wouldn't have been a stigma about a 30 year old woman getting with a, say, 22 year old guy

Yeah, there would have, thus she didn't do so. Same way Olivia Wilde didn't run around with Drake or Josh back in the late 2000s-early 10s, when she was just on the rise

I'd like to do better with the ladies, yeah (which is the main reason I'm on here). That being said...

And we all want to see you succeed, GM, thus we're frustrated to no end when you "That being said..."every last ounce of (extremely sage)counsel you're provided here. Stop making excuses, and start replacing your self-defeating behaviors with adaptative ones, TODAY. Because tomorrow ain't promised for any of us. Ask Anton Yelchin, next time you attend a seance. You're spending an ungodly amount of time and effort fantasizing about bedding a demographic of women who, by and large, have no desire to pair up with men young enough to be their sons. Despite being surrounded by a sea of beauties who are at the peak of their desirability, and eager for a real-life Christian Gray to carry them off to The Red Room

As for my therapist, we're covering all sorts of topics in the course of my therapy. I didn't have a chance to mention the mom thing until the final 10 minutes

The onus is on you to come in with a subject to work on, hoss. You're going to spend therapy nibbling around the edges of your troubles(I.E. Not getting to the good stuff until the end of every session, when there's no time to dig deep into it), if you expect any shrink to miracously heal you, without meeting them halfway

 

[corrector]

Some examples:

A woman commented to me once that she found some dresses in the back of her closet that she hardly ever wears. Then she said maybe she'll finally get a chance to wear one of her dresses if she ever gets asked out again (this same woman has told me I have good looks before).

Hard to say, would need more information about your relationship with this woman. It could be that you are her friend/good friend and this might be a friendzone. The comment itself is interesting but I wouldn't necessarily interpret it to mean she is expecting me to ask her out. 50/50 at best. However, it is a good quality of friendship for her to disclose that with you, even if you don't make a move.

A woman at the gym started a discussion with me. Then she continued the discussion while she stretched (obviously I had no choice but to continue looking in her direction, as we were in the middle of a discussion). There's more I could say about this woman; feel free to DM me if you want to hear more (for privacy reasons).

This is 100%...she started a discussion with you. What more of an obvious hint do you need there?

Female customer rubbed my back at work.

This is again another 100% because she is touching you like that. You can even remember this to write it down?
See you don't have to use the excuse of being on spectrum not to see interest there.

Did you rub her back too? Would she let you hug her like a doll or pull her hair? How far could you go with her?

Another female customer asked where my accent comes from (and said she liked my accent).

That does not mean anything.

On another thread, I mentioned my female next door neighbor (who has approximately 20 years on me) saying "nothing wrong with an older woman" (upon finding out I'm into older women)

Very hard to read this one....very 50/50.

Female coworker at a past job commented on my eyes and flawless skin.

This could be a hint.

Female coworker back in 2020 would act handsy with me.

This is like 100% -- obviously you can act handsy on her too....where would she let you touch?

Female coworker back in 2023, when I asked her about her nails, told me she treated herself for Valentine's Day (in other words, basically advertising that she was single)

May not mean anything.

Female coworker back in 2019 or 2020 drew a picture of me holding a bouquet of flowers (and gave me the picture). She also asked me once whether I have a girlfriend/wife.

Very strong interest...she took the time to draw that picture and made that question. You would have to be blind to even question that.

 

[corrector]

I am going to add, @corrector , that I'm not 100% sure if any of these hints mean they wanted me to make a move.

All I'm saying is they could have been clues that I was supposed to make a move.

What is wrong with you? You have some amazing IOI's from your co-workers and yet you have a policy of not crapping where you eat.
You have clear niche interest through work and if you didn't put up mental barriers you could be successful on here like @Hamurabimbi who actually does get action through work and never gets into any trouble with it.

I don't have great experiences or IOIs like you do. You are now coming across like a type of quiet bragger.

What type of traction do I get at work? At best I might get a breadcrumb here or there from a taken girl on the team, or a crystal friendship bracelet from a fat married woman that I have no romantic interest in......just barely enough to not consistently log-into ASMR video fantasies because real life sucks like crap with it comes to women. You on the other hand HAVE NO EXCUSE.

Can we trade places? I would love to get the IOIs and attention you are getting so I could actually make moves with the women there at work and not see opportunities wasted down the toilet like that. Not to crap where you work, only goes so far in my books....I'm sorry.

I did an analysis of every single thing you brought up and offered my opinion. Come on @GoodMan32. What is wrong with you?

 

[BaronOfHair]

He said even though it's more common today for a woman to make a move on a man (compared to several decades ago), the difference is minimal. He said he'd estimate at least 85% of women still prefer the man to make the move...

Sounds like you've found a shrink who's got both feet firmly on the ground, and who hasn't Gone Woke, which is increasingly rare at present. Don't squander this gift from Fortuna now. Make a conscious effort to be the ideal client described here 3:12-3:50

So that you can maximum benefits

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What is wrong with you? You have some amazing IOI's from your co-workers and yet you have a policy of not crapping where you eat.
You have clear niche interest through work and if you didn't put up mental barriers you could be successful on here like @Hamurabimbi who actually does get action through work and never gets into any trouble with it.

The ‘IOI’s I get at work are unambiguous. Which is one reason I never get in trouble.
e.g. a coworker hopping on my desk, wiggling her a$$ and asking if I ,need a sexratatary?’. Or being offered a BJ by a coworker in a company vehicle.

 

[corrector]

The ‘IOI’s I get at work are unambiguous. Which is one reason I never get in trouble.
e.g. a coworker hopping on my desk, wiggling her a$$ and asking if I ,need a sexratatary?’. Or being offered a BJ by a coworker in a company vehicle.

You think @GoodMan32 IOIs are ambigious compared to yours? (ie he said a female customer rubbed his back at work, said another co-worker was "handsy" with him, or another co-worker drew a sketch of him, etc....) That sounds unambiguous to me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The ‘IOI’s I get at work are unambiguous. Which is one reason I never get in trouble.
e.g. a coworker hopping on my desk, wiggling her a$$ and asking if I ,need a sexratatary?’. Or being offered a BJ by a coworker in a company vehicle.

What line of work are you in?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What line of work are you in?

These things have happened over multiple jobs in multiple fields with different employers.
e.g. Healthcare, Tech, Travel….