I'm emotionless...

[Alkali]

To assume makes an ass of u and me.

Assumption cause you to treat people differently (without realizing as much), which in turn, causes them to think of you differently.

That sounds strange but after hearing your story, do you realize what the only constant throughout your prolonged misery is?

You. You need to be optimistic and place trust in the benevolence of humanity.

 

[backbreaker]

Only a member of this forum can make a post about how bad it is to assume stuff about people.. then turn right around and not read the post and assume I'm miserable....

 

[Muppet]

I the polar oppisite, i guess I trust to much in people then they find it easy to lie and take advantage, but you learn over time I guess.

 

[Bonez]

To assume makes an ass of u and me.

Assumption cause you to treat people differently (without realizing as much), which in turn, causes them to think of you differently.

That sounds strange but after hearing your story, do you realize what the only constant throughout your prolonged misery is?

You. You need to be optimistic and place trust in the benevolence of humanity.

Judge and assume all you want. All we have in life half the time is our gut feeling anyways.

For me, I choose to ignore backbreaker. He brags all the freaking time about himself, and if you don't agree than you mean ****e to him. He's looking for a world full of yes men. His choice.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... To be a true Don Juan, and to Live as DJ did, you must be on a path of service.

WTF???!!

...
DJ was about pleasing women sexually, serving them for the greater good of humanity. He was not simply out to score hot chicks and get laid and build an empire of material wealth around him.

And where in all of this altruism does his own interest lie?

...
If you want to be more like the real Don Juan, you will be better served volunteering at an orphanage, or helping old people on the weekends, anything that is truly charitable and honorable.

You're new to this site, aren't you?

...
Almost anyone can learn how to game women, but there really is not much value in this.

Yep, you're new...

...
I myself am raising an adopted child, and I have selflessly given my time for him.

Ahhhh, now we learn the true nature of this post; self affirmation.

...
In return for this, I have not only been blessed with women, but friends as well, trustable, great friends who enrich my life and I theirs.

So back to an earlier point, you do have a self interest in being a DJ which includes gaining women and friends; adopting a child was a means toward this end.

...
This is real success. And if you are not willing to give something of yourself you will never know it.

Perhaps to some, but believing that this is the only avenue seems very confining.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Backbreaker, you, and a couple of others here, do come across as somebody who likes to brag about his earthy goods, and financial and sexual accomplishments so don't be surprised when all you are attracting is gold-diggin' women who are selfish and only care about themselves. If I was trapped in a cycle that seemed like a figure 8, I would start numbing my feelings too. Just an observation.

 

[backbreaker]

“Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.”
–Robert G. Allen

 

[lyracis]

Through drive and determination you have pulled yourself from being a loser with nothing to a success with everything or pretty damn close. But it seems like you are not really fulfilled. You readily admit that women are only interested in you because of your success, your looks and your game; and the same women wouldn't have looked at you twice during your AFC loser days. While people admire your success you are convinced deep down they want you to fail and if given an opportunity would screw you over.

You seem to be denying yourself the human need to be liked and accepted by fellow men. Because with the attitude you have towards people you could never contemplate anyone feeling that way about you.

You have developed this world view probably coloured by bad experiences which makes sense and is simple and you are probably scared to abandon it. Basically as far as I can work it goes along the lines of:

"People are selfish and use other people to achieve their own goals. They envy those more successful than them and want to see them fail, and they look down on those less successful than them. Women are only interested in men who they are attracted to, which is in itself a very selfish emotion as it depends solely on how the man's behaviour/wealth/looks makes them feel. If you trust anyone you'll just get screwed over."

People are selfish but they also have the capacity to care for others: friends, family, lovers. Of course some friends and girlfriends are users but others are genuine and will like you for who you are. And it is those people who will enrich your life in a way that money never will.

And the only way you can become friends with these people if you trust them. And you don't even give them a chance. You push people away from you.

As for women, why not drop the games. Don't turn total AFC on them but stop using mind games to get women. Take it slow, get to know them and you'll soon realise the ones who genuinely care for you as opposed to the ones who just are interested in you for your looks/money etc.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

“Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.”
–Robert G. Allen

A most excellent quote I must say...

 

[Street_Fighter]

All this reminds me of this one guy I used to work with,he talked needlessly on and on and on and on about how great he was and how much he has accomplished and the obstacles he overcame and then he talked some more! How he was soo hated on and how the world owed him something ,but to his credit he was good at his job.We both worked in a shop and he was really good at tuning and such, I had just started and was doing mostly crap work,rotating tires,oil changes,lite lube etc.I don't mind,that's how most shops work..you start at the bottom and work your way up.

While he was learning about A/F ratios ,tuning the ecu etc.He was a tech head and was good at it,real good.But he was soooooo obnoxiously self-absorbed and socialy retarded that he would just blabber on and on about himself and his issues,his 'girls' -which he was an okay looking guy,not ugly or anything but who am I to judge.

I accept people as they are so I don't judge too harshly,so I was cool with him- genuinely,but I tell it like it is.So one weekend after one of my friends pulled me to the side and asked me 'what's up with that guy?' 'I was like,what?' my friend was like,'well,first of all..he's a total douche bag,all he does is go on about himself like he's god ...is he retarded or something?' so I told him I'd talk to him..anyways I play it cool and later on that night ,I decided to just talk to him..no BSing. Like allways..I just let him talk and I listened..patiently.After he ran out of steam and the fluff cleared,he actualy began to show his true colors.He talked about family,his goals and all sorts of stuff...he sat there as if he deserved medal or badge or something..all I could think of after being bombarded with too much info, I was like...'cool'..dude,he looked like he was totaly insulted! then he talked on and on about he hated people and didn't care what people thought and this and that.I had just about enough at this point..I take a last swig of my beer and was like..'dude..you're a good guy and you do an awesome job at work,but sometimes you just need to shut the fvck up about yourself! Just for a minute!' lol pat him on the shoulder and walked off.

Anyways,on the next workday...I overhear him talking about how I was rude to him and how I lured him out to hang out with my friends to ditch him and how people suck and how he's soo great and all this BS ,the people clearly wasn't even listening to him on his rag.I snicker to myself and walk to where they were and was like 'what's up buddy? why did you take a cab home that night?' (which he did,though he didn't have to) and he just gave me this look like he totaly dispised me at this point,turned his nose up in the air like he was better then me and then walked off..his face was kinda red and he was tearing up so I knew I struck a nerve.

The people at work were laughing about what I had said to him and comended me for saying something because everyone HATED that guy and wanted to say something..but never did. I was like,'he's a good guy- he's just flakey and self-absorded' but it was too late,the dude talked himself into a hole he dug himself and revealed how he truly was without even trying,he even claimed that he gave himself out sparingly and trusts only a certain few..though with everything he exposed about himself and the level at which he spoke of... it was painfully clear already what type of person he was ,thus the true reason why no one and I mean no one wanted anything to do anything with him...it wasn't because people were jealous or envious of his skill or success at his job,it was because he was such a total fvcking douche bag,totaly disillusioned and full of BS that even if there were any redeaming qualities left inside him...it didn't matter,he had such an unpleasent aire about him that it repelled people almost instantly upon meeting him.

Of course he was a god in his own mind and we were all the enemies,though he would never admit to it his pain or rejection he has felt..he'd just cover it up more and more with more egotistical rationalizations and more and more walls to protect his glass housed ego.How do I know? I overhear him talking about it lol.I still say hi to him and chit chat like normal,but all he does is say hi and bye..I guess he took my advise.Too little too late..from what I hear he dosen't talk as much anymore,but is now just acts completly obnoxious and snobby to people.Some peope are just clueless I guess... but then again...I don't really care lol I am not merely judging him to judge him..but he painted a pretty clear picture of the type of person he was,I am merely relaying the info and insight I got from through this person.

I generaly just avoid people like that now,I accept them as they are..but it dosen't mean that I like them nor do I have to.They are who they are ,simple as that...even if they are the biggest douchebags and self-proclaimed gods of the universe

 

[backbreaker]

Through drive and determination you have pulled yourself from being a loser with nothing to a success with everything or pretty damn close. But it seems like you are not really fulfilled. You readily admit that women are only interested in you because of your success, your looks and your game; and the same women wouldn't have looked at you twice during your AFC loser days. While people admire your success you are convinced deep down they want you to fail and if given an opportunity would screw you over.

You seem to be denying yourself the human need to be liked and accepted by fellow men. Because with the attitude you have towards people you could never contemplate anyone feeling that way about you.

You have developed this world view probably coloured by bad experiences which makes sense and is simple and you are probably scared to abandon it. Basically as far as I can work it goes along the lines of:

"People are selfish and use other people to achieve their own goals. They envy those more successful than them and want to see them fail, and they look down on those less successful than them. Women are only interested in men who they are attracted to, which is in itself a very selfish emotion as it depends solely on how the man's behaviour/wealth/looks makes them feel. If you trust anyone you'll just get screwed over."

People are selfish but they also have the capacity to care for others: friends, family, lovers. Of course some friends and girlfriends are users but others are genuine and will like you for who you are. And it is those people who will enrich your life in a way that money never will.

And the only way you can become friends with these people if you trust them. And you don't even give them a chance. You push people away from you.

As for women, why not drop the games. Don't turn total AFC on them but stop using mind games to get women. Take it slow, get to know them and you'll soon realise the ones who genuinely care for you as opposed to the ones who just are interested in you for your looks/money etc.

life is but an oxymoron..... people come here.. to learn how to achive goals, to make good of themselves, yet when someoen does, we tell them that they shouldn't be so self sufficcent. It's not right to not care about other people and what they think.

Am i wired or odd? I don't know. I'm me. It's not like I choose not to have feelings for people.. I don't have them. it's not an option to me. I DONT' CARE about what the chick who is saying whatever she can to get with me is thinking about. I have my own issues.

from being a loser with nothing to a success with everything or pretty damn close

see, that's the thing. I never was a loser. however to most people, I was. I c chased a dream.. and from the moment i decided to chase my dreams, I was happy with myself and considered myself to be a success. I didn't nor do I equate money, women or materal things with success.

You seem to be denying yourself the human need to be liked and accepted by fellow men.

since when do you liking me become one of the basic human needs? last time I checked it was food, clothing and shelter.
And again... I'm a pretty likable person, I'm not assholish... but I'm extremely reserved for the simple fact that i DON'T trust people.

As for women, why not drop the games. Don't turn total AFC on them but stop using mind games to get women.

what games? Me being busy and having sex wtih better looking women is not games it's my reality.

no, a game to me would be to settle in, have a woman live with me becuase it's the life montra that goes on around me, when in reality, that right now is the last thing I want.

as funny as it may sound, i'm not as interested in relationships as I am accomplishing my long term goals. I would more than welcome one if it fit in the scope of my goals and she could coinside.. but my goals will get accomplished.

You readily admit that women are only interested in you because of your success, your looks and your game;

uh..what else is there?

 

[speakeasy]

uh..what else is there?

Character, essence, soul...

just sayin'

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...as funny as it may sound, i'm not as interested in relationships as I am accomplishing my long term goals. I would more than welcome one if it fit in the scope of my goals and she could coinside.. but my goals will get accomplished...

I understand where you're coming from.

 

[NickBe]

Unless you plan on making your money through organized crime or as a mercenary, I don't see what lack of empathy has to do with financial success.

First of all stop overstating what we say. We did not say you have to have no empathy to be rich we just said if you do it is a lot easier. I also never said people should shut off their emotions that is not possible if you have them you can not just stop.

Second that quote up there is why you will never be rich. You do not understand the way things work and if you do not understand by age 31 it is way too late. The business world is ruthless here is a quick example:

I started wit my company 3 years ago. I work for myself, I came in a clawed my way to the top 3 positions in just over a year. I had to do a lot of things to get to the top some things most empathetic people would struggle with.

2 months ago my company was in the top 3 biggest earning companies in the industry. I figured out a way to put the other two guys out of business and for me to become the top company. The problem for most people with empathy would be that they would look at the other guys see he has 3 kids a wife and that taking down his business would ruin his life. The other guy had one child who was autistic and again taking down his business would ruin lives. To me all it meant was increasing my income 10 fold, once I funneled all the business into one I would be looking at $5million + per year after about 2 years.

The problem is most people would stop and say 'no I cant do that', 'I can not put an autistic kid out of special needs school'. For me it was a non issue I done what I done and now they are both in the process of legally handing me their domain names to me for NO COST a move which will make me a multi millionaire. I saw what I had to do and even though I knew it would hurt people I done it because to em those people are insignificant.

This even works on a much smaller level. No empathy means no baggage, no emotional crap weighing you down. You are free to do what you want.

Also money does lead to happiness if you are not happy to begin with. Money gives you freedom, power and financial security. People who say money can n ot make you happy are people who have never had money so in truth they have no say in the matter.

 

[backbreaker]

i want to hit on something because a prevoius poster said something of interst:

I'm going to go ahead and squash the 500 pound gorilla in the post.


I'M SUCCESSFUL.

deal with it.

This forum has to be the funnist place on earth. Why? It's a bunch of crabs... pulling each other down, they won't let each other out the bucket that is medocrity. We come here for advice to learn how to be better with women and just better in general, but all this place has become is rantville.com.

No one REALLY wants to see other people make it. No one really wants to know another guy is getting laid and he isn't. they are more comfortable reading reports, doing research while downloading porn and then ranting about the chick that looked at them and glanced away 2 months ago.

It's laughable the people who think I'm self centered... because it shows how many people truely know me. I'm extremely humble.. simplely because I'm not 10% of where I want to be in life. Am I on the right path? I would think so. But I have nothing to brag about moreso than anyone here. My life is maped out for the next 20 years in my head.. I have nothing to glot about becuase I haven't driven off the highway yet... I just happen to know how to follow a map.

however at the same time, like the people who came here before me and I looked to for advice and inspiration, I wish to do the same. nothing, and I mean nothing would make me happier than to see everyone here on the same path as I am instead of being stuck on the same problems and issues you were 2-3 years ago.


And in all honesty.. I have better things to do than to come here. I come here because this forum made me who I was today. For anyone who thinks I"m full of ****, do a search of my name and you can track my life from me being broke, to me who I am today, by reading my posts. I'm indebted to this palce and I come back to help people like people helped me. However if I'm going to be spit on and accused of crap... I don't care but my time can be better spent.

hence the reason for me wanting to start an invite only forum. this place is a shell of what it used to be. While the intentions are as pure as gold, there are too many KBJ's, to many people who want nothing more than to see other people not be successful with women and in life and it poisons the rest of the people here.

There isn't a person here that can't do what I have done. not one. I consider myself to be smart, but I"m not a genius. You saw my pic in a previous post... that came after constant working out.. At one point in time I was 33% body fat.. now i"m 8

I wasn't born with anything that anyone else here wasn't.. execpt sickle cell.


As far as women go, I could write a book on them.. and it would be a successful book. Everything I say is from experience, not rephrasing things I've read on here.. although I got my base from this forum.

I don't go around putting my BEING ON THE RIGHT PATH.. becuase i don't consder my life a success as a whole yet... in anyone's face... people take it as that because I'm past the problems that most guys have. And if you think I'm attempting to be assholish I do apologize, but at the same time try to learn something from me. it's the only reason I'm here

 

[backbreaker]

Second that quote up there is why you will never be rich. You do not understand the way things work and if you do not understand by age 31 it is way too late. The business world is ruthless here is a quick example:

man I could write a book on some of the old business stories I could tell you. I personally know a lawyer who basically let a client go to jail for 10 years because he coudlnt' come up with 5 grand to pay him within a certain amount of time, so he made him get a court appointed attorney after he already agreed to take the case... and didn't feel bad whatsoever.

the world can be a cruel cruel place, and in the end the people who are at the top are who know how to play the cards that are delt to them

 

[NickBe]

This thread is still riddled with people saying that he is bragging.

If somebody works extremely hard and goes through a lot to become successful why then is him talking about your accomplishments bad? It is bad because most people have not achieved the same level of success and are jealous? That is the only answer I can see.

example

-If I mention in a post I just made a business deal and now I am 2 million dollars richer I would get every guy in here saying "Stop bragging obviously you are not rich because rich people do not spend items in forums saying they are rich"

-If somebody else mentions that they just got a promotion at work from $50k per year t0 $60k per year everybody here would say "congratulations".


another example

-If I say I just slept with an amazing looking Victorias secret model who was a 10 I would get guys saying stop bragging and do not deny it because in a similar post I got just that.

-If somebody said I just slept with this 8 who has a great personality people would say 'congratulations'.

Also another thing that people do is say just because a guy is rich if he gets any hot women they are gold diggers. I mean really what basis do you have to make a claim like that? If I am poor and I get a 10 I am a hero if I am rich oh I just got her because she is a gold digger and I am rich. Double standard much?

If a man that has worked hard and been through hell to become successful talks about his success he is not bragging. Just like when a guy who gets a small promotion at work talks about his.

So sit in your little cubicle earing $50k per year rebelling in your small way by visiting SoSuave wile you should be working. Dream about that big holiday you plan to take at the end of the year if you manage to scrape enough money together. Then come here and try to take down all the people that are more successful than you instead of getting out of that cubicle and becoming succesfull yourself.

 

[cdjohnson]

Lonely Woman In Texas

I'm new to this forum. I decided to find out what men think. I've basically given up on this whole dating thing today.

I'm a very, very attractive woman. I have a great career, own my own home, very intelligent. Yet, men seem to think I have guys falling at me feet, willing to do anything for me, basically, they don't feel they measure up.

Then to add insult to injury, I'm often asked you're so beautiful, why are you single.? I hate that question, as if something is wrong with me.

So, maybe you all can answer the question, why do beautiful women get the short end of the stick?

 

[Street_Fighter]

This thread is still riddled with people saying that he is bragging.

If somebody works extremely hard and goes through a lot to become successful why then is him talking about your accomplishments bad? It is bad because most people have not achieved the same level of success and are jealous? That is the only answer I can see.

example

-If I mention in a post I just made a business deal and now I am 2 million dollars richer I would get every guy in here saying "Stop bragging obviously you are not rich because rich people do not spend items in forums saying they are rich"

-If somebody else mentions that they just got a promotion at work from $50k per year t0 $60k per year everybody here would say "congratulations".


another example

-If I say I just slept with an amazing looking Victorias secret model who was a 10 I would get guys saying stop bragging and do not deny it because in a similar post I got just that.

-If somebody said I just slept with this 8 who has a great personality people would say 'congratulations'.

Also another thing that people do is say just because a guy is rich if he gets any hot women they are gold diggers. I mean really what basis do you have to make a claim like that? If I am poor and I get a 10 I am a hero if I am rich oh I just got her because she is a gold digger and I am rich. Double standard much?

If a man that has worked hard and been through hell to become successful talks about his success he is not bragging. Just like when a guy who gets a small promotion at work talks about his.

the difference lies behind the motives..people can sniff out a braggart quicker then a K9 sniffing out crack cocaine in a drughouse :wave:
It's also not soo much the information but the arrogant and self-rightousness in it's delivery.It seems to be obvious except to the airer of the news.It's also wreaked with passive aggressive validation seeking... ie;fishing for complishments.

 

[NickBe]

Not it more like you see those things when you read a post from somebody successful because lets be honest you are a little jealous. Anybody who is the tinniest bit successful is bragging and arrogant. You all love people that talk about how ****ty their lives are you jump all over those guys and give them advice. It is sad really in a world in which it is some simple to make money if you have the balls to do it most rather earn a menial income and dream of being rich.