If you're in a social circle, and the women there don't give you a hug when they leave, it's OVER

[corrector]

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=sexy+anime+body+pillow&crid=3MCV0UBUSTFPC&sprefix=sexy+anime+body+pillow

I for one cannot see how taking a chick back to your place and having this around would not cause the chick to flee in terror.

Here's a reddit post about the shame:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8x12bm

I don't use that type of pillowcase. Just a one colour pillow. You can use your imagination to make it anything you want. The co-worker at the office. The lady, at the social event, that did not give you that hug. A nice lady talking to you through the ASMR video telling you how amazing you are. Whatever you want.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This made me think of my favorite Black-Pill movie scene, where one of the main characters (Raphael) was always talking to a lot of women, but they would not acknowledge his presence...

He was a turtle, pursuing human women... THAT'S what destroyed his chances for success

 

[GoodMan32]

What is this retarded notion that you have to quit the group where a woman rejected you? Why would you do that? If you act like a normal person who can handle rejection, you can stay with the group. All a rejection means is that a woman doesn't want to do the romance thing with you. It doesn't mean you have to flee her vicinity. You can still talk with her, as long as you don't hit on her.


If you behave like a desperate incel, probably yes, but if you try and act normal for the first thirty days, you will probably be able to figure out which women might like you and which ones you shouldn't approach. For most people that would take like 5-10 days, but if you don't understand social dynamics it might take a little longer. So join a group and don't hit on any of the women before you know if they want you to hit on them.

I'm aware not everyone would quit a social group over a rejection. All I'm saying is I would quit the group. As for why, a guy with as much luck as you wouldn't understand. When every rejection from classmates in middle school/high school/college was along the lines of "Ew, no, you're the freak of the school/department. No girl would possibly want you," that's the type of thing that sticks with you. If I got a social group rejection, I'd feel like the freaky creep of the social group.

As for gauging which group members might be into me, that brings me to another problem I deal with. The more convinced I am a woman is into me, the less likely I am to make a move on her (because if it turned out I misread her interest level, I'd be reminded of what an autistic idiot I am).

With a cold approach on a total stranger, on the other hand, I have no reason to think she's into me (thus no reason to feel like an autistic idiot if I get a rejection). So I'm more open to cold approaches.

It's a real catch 22 though. You're way more likely to succeed with a woman from some social group you belong to than with a total stranger. But even if I'd have a (let's say) 75% chance of success with a woman from a hypothetical social group I were to join, and only a 5% chance of success with a cold approach on a total stranger, that 25% chance of failure with the social group woman would deter me (whereas the 95% chance of failure with the total stranger is less likely to deter me)

 

[Clockwerk50]

Don't anger the whiny members, they will complain to the moderators about your bullying and get you banned. Much better to ignore them.

Thank you for your advice. I’m putting the three musketeers on ignore/blocked/mute effective immediately. My mental health can’t handle any more of this nonsense, and I can’t afford another unproductive day like today, especially when I’m not benefiting from it.

It’s all in your hands now, sensei.

 

[corrector]

I'm aware not everyone would quit a social group over a rejection. All I'm saying is I would quit the group. As for why, a guy with as much luck as you wouldn't understand. When every rejection from classmates in middle school/high school/college was along the lines of "Ew, no, you're the freak of the school/department. No girl would possibly want you," that's the type of thing that sticks with you. If I got a social group rejection, I'd feel like the freaky creep of the social group.

I have less luck then you do and I understand where you are coming from. However, if I thought like you, then I would have resigned from my job. What I'm saying, is sometimes you have to roll with the punches. Sometimes life has a way of helping you out when everything is going wrong and everything is about to blow up in your face. I still had short-lived friendships with other co-workers, I'm talking to another co-worker now, and there was another lady co-worker that I had a recent connection with which was also nice with me.

With my 2-day of no-interaction ASMR rules, officially, I have not had two straight days of no interactions where I'd allow myself to watch these types of videos in a very long time. What I'm saying is things are not as bad as they are. If you have some coping mechanism to just go over a short-lived hump or inconvenience, you'll find that you are still here and something unexpected might happen to even the scales.

Your mechanism is you have a human therapist you are seeing. You should see if he can help you to develop coping strategies to deal with this 25% thing. You are already escortcelling so you know you can still deal with women even if you get rejected by women.

As for gauging which group members might be into me, that brings me to another problem I deal with. The more convinced I am a woman is into me, the less likely I am to make a move on her (because if it turned out I misread her interest level, I'd be reminded of what an autistic idiot I am).

With a cold approach on a total stranger, on the other hand, I have no reason to think she's into me (thus no reason to feel like an autistic idiot if I get a rejection). So I'm more open to cold approaches.

It's a real catch 22 though. You're way more likely to succeed with a woman from some social group you belong to than with a total stranger. But even if I'd have a (let's say) 75% chance of success with a woman from a hypothetical social group I were to join, and only a 5% chance of success with a cold approach on a total stranger, that 25% chance of failure with the social group woman would deter me (whereas the 95% chance of failure with the total stranger is less likely to deter me)

Again, you need to learn how to cope with things are going wrong and compartmentalize it so it doesn't bring down the whole ship. Plug holes in the ship so to speak to reduce the sinking or keep it afloat.

You have the following copes:
1) A male therapist you are consulting with.
2) Escortcelling

You don't think you can beat the 25% with this? My copes seem to be working for me and I don't exercise those options you have.

You'll find that if you get rejected....maybe you might get a break somewhere else with another lady. At least you are not living in fear.

For example, the place where I asked that lady to go to together in that office with? I ended up going there as a group with my work-team, and was close to another younger girl co-worker, who was nice and close with me at that time, while going on that particular trip. That's what I'm talking about when I say breaks.

 

[GoodMan32]

I have less luck then you do and I understand where you are coming from. However, if I thought like you, then I would have resigned from my job. What I'm saying, is sometimes you have to roll with the punches. Sometimes life has a way of helping you out when everything is going wrong and everything is about to blow up in your face. I still had short-lived friendships with other co-workers, I'm talking to another co-worker now, and there was another lady co-worker that I had a recent connection with which was also nice with me.

With my 2-day of no-interaction ASMR rules, officially, I have not had two straight days of no interactions where I'd allow myself to watch these types of videos in a very long time. What I'm saying is things are not as bad as they are. If you have some coping mechanism to just go over a short-lived hump or inconvenience, you'll find that you are still here and something unexpected might happen to even the scales.

Your mechanism is you have a human therapist you are seeing. You should see if he can help you to develop coping strategies to deal with this 25% thing. You are already escortcelling so you know you can still deal with women even if you get rejected by women.



Again, you need to learn how to cope with things are going wrong and compartmentalize it so it doesn't bring down the whole ship. Plug holes in the ship so to speak to reduce the sinking or keep it afloat.

You have the following copes:
1) A male therapist you are consulting with.
2) Escortcelling

You don't think you can beat the 25% with this? My copes seem to be working for me and I don't exercise those options you have.

You'll find that if you get rejected....maybe you might get a break somewhere else with another lady. At least you are not living in fear.

For example, the place where I asked that lady to go to together in that office with? I ended up going there as a group with my work-team, and was close to another younger girl co-worker, who was nice and close with me at that time, while going on that particular trip. That's what I'm talking about when I say breaks.

You're right, I'd resign from a job if I got rejected by a coworker. Which is why I don't ask out coworkers. With all due respect, having a friendship with (or talking with) other coworkers doesn't mean anything beyond a platonic level. It wouldn't heal the sting (for me at least) of getting rejected.

I'm no longer going to a therapist. My therapist turned out to be a joke. He told me to advertise the fact I'm on the spectrum on hookup/dating app profiles. He also told me to advertise the fact I hate feminism on hookup/dating app profiles. Both of those ideas would lead to even worse luck.

I mentioned my next door neighbor to my therapist. He basically told me "Ask her out. If you get a rejection, oh well." I told him I'd be too miserable crossing paths with her post-rejection. He never offered any coping mechanisms.

 

[GoodMan32]

No, that's not what you're saying. You say:

If you mean that YOU are unable to stay in a group where someone rejected you, you should've written:
"To apply your point on a broader scale, any time I get rejected by a woman through a social activity I partake in, I then have to quit whatever social activity."
Don't make the nonsense that you do into a 'rule' or 'advice' by saying 'you have to' when you mean 'I have to'.


Luck? If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all.


No, you're absolutely right. None of the other members here were ever bullied in school.


So wtf are you doing here? If you cannot learn how to act like a normal person, you're better off on a forum that makes being autistic more comfortable for you.
View attachment 13161

I don't think anyone here can give you advice, since none of the advice you've been given has spurned you into action.

Ok, you're right, I should have used different wording on my post about quitting a social group.

Bullying? Obviously I'm aware others have been bullied in school. There's a massive difference between garden variety bullying vs being viewed as the freak of the school by every girl you expressed interest in (and by the greater student body in general)

It just so happens I've used one of the autism forums in your screenshot. Turned out to be worthless. The female posters on the autism forum tell us rejection is no big deal. The female posters also blame us for the difficulties we've had with the ladies.

One would think a woman on the spectrum would have sympathy for us. But they don't. Since a woman (even an autistic woman) has no problem getting laid, they have a hard time relating to our struggle.

And get this: On that autism forum, we're prohibited from even mentioning the fact broads have an easier time getting a date/sex (because the female posters get butthurt at us pointing out their privilege)

As for taking advice on SoSuave, it just so happens I've DMed with a poster quite a bit about cold approaches lately. Since cold approaches are the one scenario where I'm less prone to a panic attack (and the one scenario where crossing paths with the woman after a possible rejection is highly unlikely), cold approaches are probably best for me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm aware not everyone would quit a social group over a rejection. All I'm saying is I would quit the group

And as we've all learned from consuming a few million hours of content from Sandman, Turd Flinging Monkey, Paul Elam and every other high priest of MGTOW, a fella has zero control over his thoughts and beliefs about such an event ("I'm disappointed that she didn't drop trow, bend over, and say "Go to town", nonetheless this is hardly a threat to my mortal existence" Vs "It's awful, horrible, and unbearable that I, as a man, have to pursue women at all while chicks have guys throwing themselves at them all day"), much less the manner in which he behaves afterwards...

Talking here getting on with life without dwelling on the rejection Vs. Storming out of the room in a huff, and filming a lengthy YouTube video lamenting Feminism/Gynocentrism/Misandry having turned women into people who just won't be nice to you

 

[BaronOfHair]

One would think a woman on the spectrum would have sympathy for us

Part of being a man is recognizing that you can't rely on sympathy to the degree that attractive young women, koala bears, and all other creatures cute and cuddly do. Frankly, attractive young women who are relying on sympathy to get by are in for a rude awakening by time they're deep into their 30s, and that beauty is noticeably faded

 

[BaronOfHair]

Don't anger the whiny members, they will complain to the moderators about your bullying and get you banned. Much better to ignore them.

We're in the same boat the rest of society has been in

17:00-18:43, for the past several decades now. Not even being a forum which purports to promote manhood prevents some of us from regularly running to "an adult", whenever we find someone's words objectionable

 

[corrector]

He never offered any coping mechanisms.

Are you going to try with a hot lady shrink this time? You tried a male (ie same sex) already, so you can experiment and try to find someone (of the opposite sex) hot this time.

 

[LTG71]

I must be L7, as I don't know what an FZ hug is.

BTW, here's an article on hugs:

7 Common Types Of Hugs & The Meaning Behind Each | mindbodygreen

A hug can be a sign of romantic intimacy, security, emotional support, or love. We break down the main types of hugs to help you decipher which is which.

www.mindbodygreen.com

These guys were getting something between a Friend hug and a Hugging around the waist as defined by this article.

A hug to me means you are open to connect or you are acknowledging an already existing connection. I have a coworker that for years openly claims that she doesn’t like hugs. Mentions some vague inappropriate contact when she was younger but the actual reason has never been explicitly vocalized. I’ve seen this same woman do the exact action at a happy hour that OP described in the original post. So this “hate” is subjective depending on her mood. She often offers awkward high fives instead of hugs. I think it is a non-verbal way to maintain some sort of distance and limit intimacy.

 

[Chow Mein]

Thank you for your advice. I’m putting the three musketeers on ignore/blocked/mute effective immediately. My mental health can’t handle any more of this nonsense, and I can’t afford another unproductive day like today, especially when I’m not benefiting from it.

It’s all in your hands now, sensei.

If you’ve been around long enough, you should appreciate corrector’s dedication to trolling

 

[GoodMan32]

Are you going to try with a hot lady shrink this time? You tried a male (ie same sex) already, so you can experiment and try to find someone (of the opposite sex) hot this time.

At the therapy practice I went to this summer, I picked a female therapist I'm attracted to for my first appointment.

Unfortunately, it turned out her male colleague's schedule worked a lot better for me.

The male therapist deserves to get his credentials revoked for some of the terrible ideas he gave me (telling me to advertise my ASD and my hatred of feminism on dating/hookup apps). Seriously.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How does this even matter? Sounds like you don't involve yourself in social circles very much.

I never hugged or received a hug from a girl who apparently wanted to fvck me for months before she cornered me at my cousin's party and I fvcked her in the bathroom while they were all outside.

Maybe you are simply being too much of a nice guy where they all feel friendly vibes towards you?

 

[MatureDJ]

A hug to me means you are open to connect or you are acknowledging an already existing connection. I have a coworker that for years openly claims that she doesn’t like hugs. Mentions some vague inappropriate contact when she was younger but the actual reason has never been explicitly vocalized. I’ve seen this same woman do the exact action at a happy hour that OP described in the original post. So this “hate” is subjective depending on her mood. She often offers awkward high fives instead of hugs. I think it is a non-verbal way to maintain some sort of distance and limit intimacy.

No, she'd be hugging her co-workers if they looked like Tom Brady.

 

[corrector]

At the therapy practice I went to this summer, I picked a female therapist I'm attracted to for my first appointment.

Unfortunately, it turned out her male colleague's schedule worked a lot better for me.

The male therapist deserves to get his credentials revoked for some of the terrible ideas he gave me (telling me to advertise my ASD and my hatred of feminism on dating/hookup apps). Seriously.

You can go back to her now since the male therapist didn't work out. Do you still have her contact number?

At the end of the day, my favorite therapist is an ASMR roleplay of a lady acting like she is a therapist. When you can talk at a screen, and the lady replies back like you are answering to her directly and you have this wierd conversation with a screen, then it can be a fun time.
I think there is an estimate range of how people respond to things and some of these artists are good at picking up or anticipating what 80% of the viewers answers are going to be leading to a realistic video session. (ie much like cold reading skills). I mean, when you look at it, every person's situation is unique, yet, also has aspects that are very common at the same time and results in the same therapy solution (ie like the breathing exercises suggested by @BackInTheGame78 on a post he wrote). However, if it's delivered in a nice way, sometimes it sticks.

I know others have knocked me on this, but don't underestimate the power of watching the right video, when you need to watch it the most. Many times I didn't believe it would work with me and I was surprized by the results. Just listening to an ASMR video of a lady saying she loves me, just put me in a great frame of mind and I looked at other things afterwards. At first when I was listening to this, I thought there would be no results. After all it's a video and you know it's fake right. But like plants listening to good words or music, who you don't expect to understand things the way we do, and then find out later their growth or plant behaviour ends up being influenced by the words or music that is played to it, ends up being a surprize. In a wierd sense, I believe we are like the plants in that sense. If we hear good words, encouraging words, even if you know it's fake, it still does something. Wierd when you look at it..but isn't that what therapy is about. You are paying someone to say the right things/advice to get you in the right place mentally?

 

[GoodMan32]

You can go back to her now since the male therapist didn't work out. Do you still have her contact number?

At the end of the day, my favorite therapist is an ASMR roleplay of a lady acting like she is a therapist. When you can talk at a screen, and the lady replies back like you are answering to her directly and you have this wierd conversation with a screen, then it can be a fun time.
I think there is an estimate range of how people respond to things and some of these artists are good at picking up or anticipating what 80% of the viewers answers are going to be leading to a realistic video session. (ie much like cold reading skills). I mean, when you look at it, every person's situation is unique, yet, also has aspects that are very common at the same time and results in the same therapy solution (ie like the breathing exercises suggested by @BackInTheGame78 on a post he wrote). However, if it's delivered in a nice way, sometimes it sticks.

I know others have knocked me on this, but don't underestimate the power of watching the right video, when you need to watch it the most. Many times I didn't believe it would work with me and I was surprized by the results. Just listening to an ASMR video of a lady saying she loves me, just put me in a great frame of mind and I looked at other things afterwards. At first when I was listening to this, I thought there would be no results. After all it's a video and you know it's fake right. But like plants listening to good words or music, who you don't expect to understand things the way we do, and then find out later their growth or plant behaviour ends up being influenced by the words or music that is played to it, ends up being a surprize. In a wierd sense, I believe we are like the plants in that sense. If we hear good words, encouraging words, even if you know it's fake, it still does something. Wierd when you look at it..but isn't that what therapy is about. You are paying someone to say the right things/advice to get you in the right place mentally?

The female therapist hardly ever worked evenings when I first went to her practice (and she was phasing out of evenings entirely). Now that she's phased out of evenings (and doesn't work weekends), she no longer fits around my work schedule.

Therapy is supposed to get you in the right place mentally, yeah. But the "right" things have to really be the right things (not just what you want to hear)

 

[GoodMan32]

You mean like how you ignore the advice from the esteemed members of this forum? Everybody knows the advice is solid, but I guess it's not what you want to hear. Or you're simply incapable of determining what is right and what isn't.

A lot of the advice I get is "ask out xyz woman" (no matter how many times I explain why I'm unable to)

I need realistic advice.

Another piece of advice I get is to change my age preference (which is beyond my control; might as well tell a gay man to go straight)

 

[GoodMan32]

So you agree that you're simply incapable of determining what is right and what isn't.

Please, explain what you consider 'realistic' advice?

My age preference is what it is. Telling me to change my age preference isn't realistic.

I've also had others tell me to shed my fetish (not on this forum though; I've hardly ever mentioned my dealbreaker fetish on here). Telling me to shed my fetish is another piece of unrealistic advice.

Telling me to ask out a woman I regularly cross paths with is unrealistic, seeing as I've made it clear I'd rather get manhandled by a gay man than cross paths with a woman I got rejected by.

Realistic advice is advice that takes these limitations into account.