Help! Possible Cluster B- Feeling Totally Lost

[Atom Smasher]

Yes is the answer. They talk as if they are 14 or 15 years old and sound like it. Extremely feminine. Most are "girly girls". Ask anyone here who has encountered one. It's all part of the bait they put on the emotional hook. This coupled with the amazing sex makes many men powerless not to take a bite.

Then there is the mirroring. They truly are shapeshifters as someone said above. BPD's will assume your very personality, mirror it back to you, and you will become emotionally attached and fall in love with yourself.

It's emotional black magic.

This is precisely right. I made the shapeshifter comment up above, as I noticed she would mirror back to my my own phrases and words, days later. Freaky.

I have noticed these tell-tale signs of a BPD:

1) Hyper-feminine
2) Baby voice (or like Marilyn Monroe)
3) Highly sexual, projects strong sexuality
4) Mirrors your own phrases and sayings back to you, even days or weeks later, as if they were her own.
5) Loves you, hates you; loves you, hates you (might not be hate, might just show as being "incensed" or annoyed).
6) Shows signs of being a future nag (little comments like, "I told you you should have written that address down...")
7) Alarmingly self-centered
8) Almost completely bereft of empathy or a nurturing spirit
9) Looks down on people of lower socio-economic status, though will not openly say that. You can just tell.
10) Attention is her SOLE concern. She lives and dies by attention
11) Intense jealousy

These rolled off my typing fingers in a split second. I didn't even have to think. Anyone else, feel free to add some tell-tale signs.

This is an excellent thread. It's helping us all to develop an "Early Warning System" in order to escape the suckage of their vortex. Did you ever see the video of that aircraft carrier deck worker getting sucked into a Grumman A6 engine intake? Miraculousely, he survived, albeit with many cuts and bruises. He who has an ear, let him hear...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Easy there Palpatine,
Now that's not true...

I needed a good laugh, and you did it with that Palpatine comment. Thank you!

 

[Die Hard]

It matters little whether they do so consciously or otherwise.

I wasn't arguing that it matters whether they do so consciously or otherwise. I was simply arguing that you're wrong thinking they carefully plan all of their destructive behavior.

 

[5string]

Atom

12)Most often very attractive and overly concerned about their appearance.
13)Childhood abuse (sexual, emotional, physical).
14)Dysfunctional broken family.
15)Parents and siblings have many cluster B traits as well.
16)Many short lived romantic relationships (they tend to run or abandon them before their at the moment love interest does it to them first).
17)Complains about physical ailments that cannot be explained.
18)Strange stories about things that have happened in their past. Usually involving a boyfriend, parents or siblings.
19)Temper tantrums and raging.
20)I could go on and on.

 

[st_99]

Then there is the mirroring. They truly are shapeshifters as someone said above. BPD's will assume your very personality, mirror it back to you, and you will become emotionally attached and fall in love with yourself.

I hooked up with a girl that pulled a 180 on me (seemingly was into me, then not) who mirrored me heavily. I took it as a sign of interest and good rapport and that had me sold on her interest being fairly high. I was wrong and left wondering why she was doing that if she wasn't at all interested in me..

I kept thinking.. There is NO reason why someone would mirror you so much if they did not like you! I was pissed because I felt duped! :trouble:

 

[5string]

I hooked up with a girl that pulled a 180 on me (seemingly was into me, then not) who mirrored me heavily. I took it as a sign of interest and good rapport and that had me sold on her interest being fairly high. I was wrong and left wondering why she was doing that if she wasn't at all interested in me..

I kept thinking.. There is NO reason why someone would mirror you so much if they did not like you! I was pissed because I felt duped! :trouble:

That's what they do st99. They'll put you on a pedestal, idolize you and then you'll start to think "WOW, this is great! how could I have found such a great chick"!

Then the games begin.

 

[st_99]

That's what they do st99. They'll put you on a pedestal, idolize you and then you'll start to think "WOW, this is great! how could I have found such a great chick"!

Then the games begin.

She wasn't even hot or anything, she was just cute. She had 2 powerful weapons, mirroring and kino.

She is a master, its funny because when I think back everybody that was around her guys and girls would say the same thing. " I really like her, we are A LOT ALIKE" And these were completely different types of people. haha, she had everybody fooled!

 

[Die Hard]

Given all the interest in this thread, let me remind you guys that there's a huge BPD thread here: http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=164551

 

[5string]

She wasn't even hot or anything, she was just cute. She had 2 powerful weapons, mirroring and kino.

She is a master, its funny because when I think back everybody that was around her guys and girls would say the same thing. " I really like her, we are A LOT ALIKE" And these were completely different types of people. haha, she had everybody fooled!

It's called the cluster B two step.

 

[st_99]

cute=oneitis

exactly! she put me under a trance of sorts. :crazy:

 

[GameOfNoGame]

Okay you guys really need to quit it with this "oneitis" ****. Sure there are times when one needs to recognize that it's a struggle that cannot be overcome but you people would have told Rudy he had oneitis for football.

Life's a struggle guy and I would rather have quality over quantity, I had quantity and it didn't make my life any better so if you just want as many easy lays as you can get out of life then that's all you're gonna get out of life.

Again, if you just want holes to stick your **** in then go get some hookers but I came here because I wanted to better understand how to meet someone special & now we're discussing what can ruin a woman & how to recognize it.

But don't you find it be a contradiction to judge women for playing head games & promiscuousness because they don't really care about others while that's exactly what you're preaching us to do to other possibly quality women?

 

[SmackinIsaiah]

That's not the point of this thread

 

[GameOfNoGame]

That's not the point of this thread

Isn't it? The OP was asking if this girl may be personality disordered with a sociopathic style and if so what that means for you. We're discussing what to look for to identify such people & debating what to do when we've identified people as such. Maybe my question about examining what so many guys here preach about how to treat women (manipulate them, have multiple partners, just use them for sex, & feel nothing for them) is a tangient but it's legitimate since those pieces of advice have been given in this thread alone and that's exactly what we're condemning these women for.

 

[SmackinIsaiah]

I'm not looking to condemn, I'm looking to see if she is in fact bpd so I have my guard up if she returns, which I doubt. Ps I'm the original poster

 

[Johnnyventana]

Seriously, Where's KX when you need him?

 

[GameOfNoGame]

I'm not looking to condemn, I'm looking to see if she is in fact bpd so I have my guard up if she returns, which I doubt. Ps I'm the original poster

lol Sorry, I meant OP as in "original post" not "poster" I made sure to double check which is why it says "means for you".

Anyway, no you weren't condemning & I'm still on the fence about condemnation. Personally, I'd rather just let go of the anger because just like Nietzche said "Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one."

And be careful what advice you take as there's a lot of wise people around here but there are also a lot of bitter ones here too whom have let their resentment turn them into what they hate - selfish, capricious, mind****s.

I'm not saying I have all the answers, far from it. However, I put a lot of thought into things so just take it into consideration that if she's BPD she WILL be back and at such time will you be a monster or be a man?

 

[The_411]

BPD, HPD etc are labels to assist in udnerstanding a person's behavior. Bottomline when a woman does ridiculously disrespectful stuff you have to leave.

Cluster B's are a train wreck and they almost never get better and in fact they continue to get worse.

Don't waste your life with them. If you can get out without a child or being married you are lucky. There some crazy horror stories out there about custody battles etc with cluster B women.

You will shave many years off your life if youa re with a cluster B over the long term nd essentially you get someone who wants you to give 95% and they give 5% not to emntion someone who will cheat on you given the opportunity and basically make you feel like nothing you can ever do is good enough.

Some of my favorite highlights were being yelled at for sweating, being cursed at in front of a restaurant and being told that she couldn't eat anything on the menu and then she subsequently went in and loved the food (this is typical BPD behavior), being yelled at for buying her an Ihome instead of jewelry and her then a week later her telling me how much she loves her Ihome and can't live without it.

They lack object consistency. Their problems stem from arrested development between the critical ages of 18 to 30 months. Hence the reason they act childlike at times because under stress they did not develop the proper management skills and as a result they revert to child like behaviors as a defense mechanism.

Re: cheating the prevailing medical dogma is that they lack sufficient levels of oxytocin so they don't bond like other women after having sex they do see a spike but they're incapable of going past the honeymoon stage. You may get past the honeymoon stage but that's only because you're able to tolerate/allow the bullcrap and other garbage.

Most recent estiamte is 17.9 million people in the US have BPD and that's thought to be a gross underestimate because the hallmark of BPD is denying there's problem and for guys their behavior has been somewhat normalized or they're in jail.

I'd venture guess the number is more likely 35 million people in the US or 1 in 9people in the US have BPD or a cluster B personality disorder.

It's still a raging a debate if BPD is a genetic or behaviorial disorder. Personally, I think it's both.

 

[HeMan]

just wondering if my ex girlfriend has personality disorder:???

1. she says she came from emotionally unloved family. she left home when she was 14 going to bording school, then to another city to study
2. very neeedy and jealous
3. very smart and sexy, funny
4. became very angry very quickly on the stupidest things
5. ended up physically assaulting me on 2 occassions. she also threatened to hurt my dog after a big fight
6. very manipulative and controlling. she was a foreigner and every time we had a fight she used to always threaten to go home (even though she never meant it)
7 fuk@d her previous bf for the first time before me as a dare with a friend. they went out for 2 yrs and she never kissed him once. she basically used him to make her feel secure in herself
8. was obsessed with the idea of loving me
9. stopped seeing her friends when going out with me. all she wanted to do was spend time with me

 

[jophil28]

BPD, HPD etc are labels to assist in udnerstanding a person's behavior. Bottomline when a woman does ridiculously disrespectful stuff you have to leave..

^^That is the ultimate conclusion.
However , usually BPD's do not act disrespectfully until you are well hooked -about 6-8 weeks in is when she knows her trap has snapped shut on you.
Then the mindfvcks begin.
It takes a strong, self protective man who is aware of BPD pathology to walk away from some of the most head spinning sex you ever had..

 

[deuce42]

I'm not looking to condemn, I'm looking to see if she is in fact bpd so I have my guard up if she returns,

Gday Isaiah

Dont do this to yourself. Seriously read Shari S's info as have been posted on this site. Seriously do it. One of the very things I read there was that most guys try and dispute or refute whether she is borderline. Its classic routine. Its almost like the guy wants to believe she isn't or wants to write it off as just an overused psychogical label we give to any woman who is high maintenance. From what I read, most guys blame themselves or the circumstances being bad. They find ways to see how they can interact with her again "because she might come back", because they love how they felt when she first came on the scene. Now I am no expert but the very fact you want proof to "be sure" that she is, is often a textbook sign that diagnoses Borderline.

Have a read of Shari's stuff - I found it just so helpful - and still be good to yourself. We all get past these things, and for what its worth, I came to this site because of the BPD girl I was with. Until then I actually wasn't an AFC and never usually had a problem with chicks, in fact most in my life had approached me. Then when this schrew got under my skin I fell for her whole act, although I even believed she was convinced her behaviour was fine and normal. Or worse, it was always somebody else's fault that she was hurt, including me. I also learn't that she was a pathalogical liar. It was one lie after another although I thought everything she said at the time was normal as it seemed plausable and normal. I believed it all.

A friend whom is a phsychologist one day told me that my girls behaviour sounded classic borderline. I wrote it off on the basis that my friend labelled everyone she every met and was just caught up in her professional over-diagnosis of everyone. I also removed all other chicks in my life, and when the relationship went pair shaped I blamed myself and sadly doubted myself. Worse of all, it dented my otherwise in tact self confidence and no guy should give that away to any girl. I say this only because I don't want you go through what I did. Sounds like you are starting too, I hope that people here can assist you in breaking your fall.