She paid because I asked her "where are you buying me dinner?".. And she was like "I'll buy you dinner"... So she went with it and picked up the tab.
You're overlooking the bottom line. She paid. The reason women pay is
not because you were C&F. When a woman pays for the first date, it's usually because she doesn't want to feel
obligated. That's the bottom line. She seized your "where are you buying me dinner?" as her opportunity to pay.
Think... another woman may have responded in quite another way:
MININ: "Where are you buying me dinner?"
Her: "What? [laughing] Buy YOU dinner? You're supposed to buy ME dinner!"[playfully slaps your arm]
Get it?
my cell dropped on the sofa and when I came back SHE WENT THROUGH IT and was questioning me about the girls that were in my phone.
That's a deal breaker. That should've been the end of the night AND time to throw away her number.
I said that because I decided early I didn't want to do it on the first date.
Nothing wrong with that. Maybe a guy wants to have a sexual relationship with a woman he has some feelings for and doesn't want to sleep around. To each their own.
I had kind of the same talk the other night with the model. We got on the topic and I mentioned that having sex right away is just messy. The girl then bonds to you and you don't even know her and so why bother, yadda, yadda... and this chick agrees telling me how she could get laid anytime she wants (Duh, no kidding, I mean when she was telling me this, she was bent over the bar resting on her arm with her butt arched out, talk about body language) but she'd prefer to have it be more than just about sex and not get hurt, blah, blah, blah.
Well, seriously, I think then what happens is that the guy then comes off as a secure sexual person who doesn't need to get laid right now. That you're not a potential "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" - and so you come off as different than maybe 99% of all the other guys, as a guy who demands more, because he can get it anytime. I think in that women's eyes, you become higher value.
I sent her a message just saying "thanks for the date"
I wouldn't do that even if the date went well. Don't you say "Hey, I had fun! Thanks for the great time!" or anything like that at the end of the date when you leave? Why call them the next day to thank them again? Why come off as being so thankful?
For some reason I was answering her explaining who the girls were. What was I thinking?
Alcohol consumption impedes thinking, perhaps? Or maybe you were willing to put up with her abuse because you wanted some more action, so you weren't thinking with the larger organ.
Can I help you down off of your high horse now?
iqqy, there wasn't any high horsing around in that post. Or do you mean that you want to play The Horseman and the Stable Girl? That may be fun! But hey, not on the first date.
Some people are naturally flirtatious
Right. I'm trying to find another way to make my point. Okay... anecdotal! There was this woman I dated a couple of times and she was flirtatious with everyone. Innocent, maybe, BUT I kept reading it as "Needs Attention". And, the guys she flirts with aren't all going to think, "Hey she's flirting with me! Let me NOT hit on her!"
Turns out, I was right. Now, it never got under my skin, I never got jealous or anything, but I understood her behavior meant that she was kind of needy. I put her in the Friend Zone after a couple of dates.
I get her bulletins now on my myspace page. It's been a couple of years since we went out. So I get to read all about her exploits. She can't keep any guy because she's continually batting her eyelashes at other guys and her love life is a series of I'M IN LOVE!!! and getting dumped. Par for the course.
Anyway, my point is, natural tendency or not, flirting with other guys is a flag of insecurity and/or disrespect. Has nothing to do with the man's confidence in himself. It has to do with
her, and what she's made of. It's part of her character, and a guy's got to look at her character. So when you see this behavior, it's the tip of the iceberg you're seeing.
With the waiter, "flirty" is different than "friendly", and MNIN said she was flirty, right in front of him. Like I said, just the tip of the iceberg is what you saw, MNIN:
That woman disrespected you when she flirted with the waiter. Then she shows she doesn't respect you when she went through your phone. Right? And like I said, flirting like that also suggests insecurity issues and oh man did she show you she was insecure in a BIG way when she went through your phone and asked you who these women were! You got to see even more of her iceberg!
And you're planning on calling her again? Throw her number AWAY! This is going to be another frickin' major drama, this one. Like the Titanic!
I have had girlfriends do that to me before, and they were all jealous broads. With all of them, we were at the point in the relationship where no one was trusting anyone and the break-up was eminent.
