Are Dating Apps really that bad right now

[BaronOfHair]

"Are Dating Apps really that bad right now?"

Similar to asking "Is Fallujah really not giving Miami a run for it's money right now, especially in comparison to the glory days of '04?"

 

[GoodMan32]

POF in 2009-2013 was a challenging environment. The fact that you were able to initially seduce a woman from POF and retain her for 8 months is an achievement, especially considering the totality of all your issues.



That's a typical male experience on Bumble from 2016-2024. It was likely easier to get dates on Bumble in 2016-2018 than 2022-2024 but Bumble was even very competitive in 2016-2018. So many men were having the "one date, no sex, no second date" issue on Bumble in 2016-2018.

As much as I like it when you tout my successes, I'm (once again) going to cast a rain cloud.

My 8 month relationship on POF was with a strange 4/10 fattie who couldn't even fully speak English (I've mentioned on this forum before that I tend to do well if the broad's English isn't all there, as that means she fails to catch some of my socially awkward comments)

I suppose it also helped that I was young enough in 2013 it wasn't really frowned upon that I got assistance from parents.

 

[CornbreadFed]

On this forum, the main goal shouldn't be to encourage guys to use dating apps. The reason the 'dating marketplace' is in such a bad state is because low-effort 'efficiency' seekers ended up massively embracing the dating apps to the detriment of learning how to interact with women. This forum aims to help men with dating and interacting with women. Not how to 'beat the algorithm' and 'game the app' into finding dates. Threads like these should move to Reddit.

Fcuk dating apps. Go out and talk with people. Learn how to be really social, not the social of 'social media'.

Dating apps can destroy men's self-esteem when they realize that thousands of swipes resulted in nothing.

In person approach can destroy a man's self-esteem too. Not only do you face the same risks with the apps, but you add in the chances of getting humiliated in public or even shadow banned from certain areas/groups. The people over here preaching in person over apps are more than likely doing it in niche situations and not spraying in praying at the random Publix grocery store across the street.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There's nothing unique to dating apps that sets them apart from the current trends of the dating market. The current dating market is itself imploding because of feminism and mass female delusion which itself is from social media far more than dating apps. Social media is to blame for this more than OLD; OLD is just a reflection of the dating market. Any problems you see in OLD are just as real as they are in the real world, but for some reason refuse to see it.

Anyone who thinks the dating market is fine and OLD is the problem is completely out of touch. Does no one remember that OLD has been around for almost 30 years? Back in the 00s it was nothing like it is now, because social media hadn't taken over yet. Social media + feminism is the problem with the dating market, period.

Swiping on your phone while taking a dump is not an effort. And it deludes people that it's efficient, but actually it's a huge time suck with a lousy ROI.

It's only a huge time sink if you have no vetting strategies. Tinder is 100% a waste of time though. But let me explain my Hinge process:

95% of my conversations on Hinge are initiated by the woman. I literally never swipe right on women until she's swiped right on me first. On Hinge, if someone swipes right on you, it shows up in your list of "likes" in a queue, and you can choose to reject or match with them (left vs right swipe), which is why I love Hinge.

Once we start talking, I screen them asap for compliance and interest, compatibility, and then give them my number to text me usually fairly quickly. Once they text me I push for a date, but if they show any sign of flakey/fickleness/or act "busy" I stop talking to them.

I really do put in minimal effort. I just don't think most people (men or women) have learned how to filter out only the most high IL/high quality options, because they don't realize how much time and irritation this saves you.

 

[DJ Novice]

I have found the rejection rate very high on dating apps. Even the most unattractive woman gets multiple hits so unless you stand out (through looks, humour, status, lifestyle, wealth etc.) you will find it challenging.

Dating apps are just one option in the dating market. They shouldn’t be demonised but you need to know what you are getting yourself in for.

Just because you may have success with other dating options it doesn’t necessarily follow that others will. Cold approaching in public places to me seems desperate and creepy but if it works for you go for it.

Pick your poison.