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You’re certainly rightbin this. There has always been a power struggle. She’s even stated: ‘I usually go for effeminate men, or that type because I always feel more safe with them’ Essentially she’s saying she likes to be in control. And this is reflected in a lot of her actions. She has...

Well the BBQ he had he did invite me as well. I told her I didn’t want to go. She respected that. I don’t think me not responding degrades me when she tests. It simply is just me being unresponsive; which is an answer. She didn’t get a ride like she thought she would.

I could keep my calm and simply state.. “this guy clearly likes you. I was fine with it the first time but it simply too close for comfort for it to be an on-going thing”. And i state that in a very calm, non emotional manner. Then if she objects I state ‘that’s how I feel’. What she does...

She’s testing to see if I’m actually going to trust her. Before our fight two weeks ago, I was not in any emotional control. I would engage in huge rounds of questioning and mistrust that subsequently would lower attraction but it would show her how much I cared; this created toxicity though...

This is a major assumption and projection of fear too. There is no fact of this.

She was communicative to me about all of it though. There’s respect and consideration in that. It’s abkut having space. Freedom of choice. Not feeling encumbered by your partner. But I could do the same thing if I wanted too. I went to coffee with a girl twice in the past.. Coffee means...

I allowed it this time. But not again I won’t. I simply state ‘no you and him hanging out makes me uncomfortable and I’m not going to subject myself to that. Just like you wouldn’t if the show was on the other foot’.

I have been working on my behaviour and it has adjusted greatly in the last two weeks. My emotional control is way better than it was and it’s reaping positive effects. Everything you’ve stated above is true. We had a talk the day we almost broke up about one on ones with members of the...

That she assumes I’ll come to her. Or that she is questioning things between me and her based on having seen another dude.....

Good advice^! How would it be properly applied vs I unproperly applied

Yea that’s true. I don’t know why she’s doing this. I really do think it’s to see if I’m going to get emotional like I did before and be affected. So it’s her testing my strength in a way. Which is a positive for me to, because I have to learn how to be unaffected by things in a relationship...

Well that would be very controlling if I told her she couldn’t meet up with anyone who is a guy. There has to be some level of trust. Now if she said she thought he was attractive, that’s a different story. I know he has interest in her.. this I know, and that’s the concerning part of it...

Does this mean I should be the one who is always planning the hangouts/dates?

I get what you’re saying. 100%. And this is what makes me nervous. Its weird though, because she’s been drowning in about how he messsges her and how she really doesn’t want to hangout with him for about two weeks now. This is why I think it’s a test. Because why bring it up? And if she had...

Then why would she entertain her time and attention to him? I don’t understand the reasoning why a woman would attempting possibly getting her man to start tripping out? What’s actually the point to make him be wary to trust her choices? That is actually really true.

What tests can a man give? Playing within the masculine frame? Meaning the boundaries I set? Probably not responding at all, like I did.

@stormrider

Not good I bet! Okay. She’s already told me he’s just a friend. And every time he has reached out she has told me so. She’s always kept me in the loop. That must say something about how she feels about her and I. Plus, let’s not forget all the sh!t tests she’s been throwing my way lately...

Well I don’t know if this approach would be the best. Because I did do it the day we almost broke up. And she kept bringing up the time I went to coffee with that girl twice. I had trust issues in the beginning of our relationship and was slightly possessive and uncomfortable with some...

Yea I went to coffee with a girl from my class once who needed help with her resume, and I told her about it. She got pretty uneasy about it all