Blazing (swipe app)

[AmsterdamAssassin]

@GoodMan32
What is it that you want? I've lost track

He simply wants attention and validation.

 

[GoodMan32]

I love him very much. He loves in a way that is difficult to describe. Almost child like in its innocence & belief in the idea of love. And he is beautifully dedicated to that love idea and expressive of it with a largeness of heart that is as unusual as it is refreshing. Psychologists refer to it as austic joy. It is a wonderment you could say. He loves me very much too. So I would not say I "barely tolerate" him. Its just a study in contrasts behaviorally

You see ASD people feel the normal range of emotions, sometimes very much more intensely than the neurotypical person. They just don't always know how to channel what they feel. And often they have zero filter in social settings.

He is not going to be controlled (good, but at times annoying), and he is rigid in his expectations. But he does try to relate & to show me how he feels. And he has let me in, which is like getting access to Fort Knox.

But no relationship is a total picnic. I happened to choose a more complicated man than most.

In answer to your question, yes. I think your prospects are better looking for a short term lover type interaction, however the other problem you may face is women my age often want to settle down as their beauty fades, and in that case will look for a more relatable life companion candidate rather than a horny younger stud.

Your mileage may vary.

You'll need to learn to communicate your intent in a direct and transparent way. Calibration is everything.

Ok. I thought it sounded like you were miserable with your marriage. If you enjoy being married to him, more power to you.

One thing I can relate to is how he's insecure around your social circle. As a fellow man with ASD, I feel inadequate socially too.

You're preaching to the choir about how those of us with ASD don't always know a socially acceptable manner in which to express our emotions.

Communicating my intent in a direct/transparent manner is one thing I've always struggled with. That's probably why 7 of my 9 non-escort partners have come from hookup websites (because at least then, it's implied both parties want casual sex; no need for me to find a socially acceptable way to tell her)

I'd imagine even neurotypical men often struggle to find a tactful way to tell a woman they want casual sex.

Further complicating matters for me is the fact a socially awkward man is prone to getting viewed as a creep if he wants casual sex (whereas a smooth alpha is viewed as badass if he wants casual sex)

 

[GoodMan32]

A fetish that leads him nowhere.

If anything he should be able to EASILY pull women from his preferred bracket. But to put it bluntly: he lacks das balls.

To cut him some slack: I keep seeing more and more men like this. The downside is that his competition is huge. Many desperate men pray for the same type of woman.

With all due respect, you appear to be contradicting yourself. First you say my so-called lack of (what you call) das balls is the only thing stopping me from bagging more cougars.

Yet then you go on to say there's lots of competition for an older woman (which would suggest even if I had das balls, I'd struggle)

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32

What is it that you want? I've lost track

I want a sexual relationship with a woman in the age range of 45-60s.

I'm down to do other stuff with her too. I just don't want the commitment of an all-out boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (and I certainly don't want marriage)

 

[SW15]

It's a pregnancy prevention loophole.

No it isn't. It is you exhibiting abnormal psychology.

On this forum, the majority of male posters are not looking to get a woman pregnant in the near future. The younger ones (under 45) aren't seeking menopausal women as sex partners. Most of the younger posters are looking to get a substantially younger girlfriend, even if a pregnancy isn't a priority item.

The majority of the world isn't posting on SoSuave or similar forums.

The majority of men are also trying to avoid pregnancy most of the time. Most unmarried men aren't desiring children. They are either childless men who see children as a possibility in the distant future, childless men who aren't prioritizing having children/do not want children, or men with children from prior relationships. There are a few married men who are actively trying to have children with a wife but that's a smaller percentage of men. A lot of married men (especially in more middle class + social circles) have their 1-3 children with the wife (usually 1-2 children) and then are done with having children. The having children phase is a very short phase for most established couples. In my social circle, most of the blue pilled guys and their wives had their 1-2 children already and aren't planning on more.

A lot of men use condoms. Condoms are useful for both pregnancy prevention and for preventing STDs/STIs.

As for women, most of them under menopause age aren't looking to get pregnant in most sexual encounters either.

It's possible that my perspective on women is skewed by my interactions with mainly bougie White women. I define a bougie White woman as a White woman with a bachelor's degree or higher living in a major city and working some sort of white collar type job.

Bougie White women are typically using birth control, especially when they are under 35 and childless. After 35, some childless bougie White women might slow down the birth control after 10-20 years on it. By 35-40, many bougie White women have had their 1-2 children with their beta husbands. If these women leave their beta husbands, they typically won't be looking to have more kids and they may/may not use birth control to achieve that.

Younger, childless women who use swipe apps to meet men and/or are actively going to bars to meet men aren't prioritizing getting pregnant in the short term. Some of them might want to get pregnant in the future in a more stable relationship, but that's a future concern for them. The current concern for most younger women is not getting pregnant in the next few months.

With condoms and birth control, most younger adults find ways to have sex and avoid pregnancy.

There's a reason that birth rates have been lower for the Gen Y/Millennial and Generation Z/Zoomer generations.

 

[Gamisch]

With all due respect, you appear to be contradicting yourself. First you say my so-called lack of (what you call) das balls is the only thing stopping me from bagging more cougars.

Yet then you go on to say there's lots of competition for an older woman (which would suggest even if I had das balls, I'd struggle)

I mean that you might think this " fetish " sets you apart ( it does), but not as much as you'd think.

There's a reason why 2024 was the year when the so-called "cougar's" popularity skyrocketed.

Why you ask? Because a large group of young men are invisible to women their own age. So they go for the next best thing: older women. The only difference between you and the next man who struggles is that that next man would still prefer a young woman but he simply can't get that.

Hence my comment about stiff( no diddy) competition. The older woman you are after requires more game than ever because she will also have an abundance of choice, mainly horny desperate young men who wanna nut somewhere.

Still it's odd that if you would be active on a dating app and set the age range from 45 to 60 that you are not able to land one . Most men set the range from 20 to 45 .

 

[GoodMan32]

No it isn't. It is you exhibiting abnormal psychology.

On this forum, the majority of male posters are not looking to get a woman pregnant in the near future. The younger ones (under 45) aren't seeking menopausal women as sex partners. Most of the younger posters are looking to get a substantially younger girlfriend, even if a pregnancy isn't a priority item.

The majority of the world isn't posting on SoSuave or similar forums.

The majority of men are also trying to avoid pregnancy most of the time. Most unmarried men aren't desiring children. They are either childless men who see children as a possibility in the distant future, childless men who aren't prioritizing having children/do not want children, or men with children from prior relationships. There are a few married men who are actively trying to have children with a wife but that's a smaller percentage of men. A lot of married men (especially in more middle class + social circles) have their 1-3 children with the wife (usually 1-2 children) and then are done with having children. The having children phase is a very short phase for most established couples. In my social circle, most of the blue pilled guys and their wives had their 1-2 children already and aren't planning on more.

A lot of men use condoms. Condoms are useful for both pregnancy prevention and for preventing STDs/STIs.

As for women, most of them under menopause age aren't looking to get pregnant in most sexual encounters either.

It's possible that my perspective on women is skewed by my interactions with mainly bougie White women. I define a bougie White woman as a White woman with a bachelor's degree or higher living in a major city and working some sort of white collar type job.

Bougie White women are typically using birth control, especially when they are under 35 and childless. After 35, some childless bougie White women might slow down the birth control after 10-20 years on it. By 35-40, many bougie White women have had their 1-2 children with their beta husbands. If these women leave their beta husbands, they typically won't be looking to have more kids and they may/may not use birth control to achieve that.

Younger, childless women who use swipe apps to meet men and/or are actively going to bars to meet men aren't prioritizing getting pregnant in the short term. Some of them might want to get pregnant in the future in a more stable relationship, but that's a future concern for them. The current concern for most younger women is not getting pregnant in the next few months.

With condoms and birth control, most younger adults find ways to have sex and avoid pregnancy.

There's a reason that birth rates have been lower for the Gen Y/Millennial and Generation Z/Zoomer generations.

I'm going to start by saying I used to (as a teen) insist I would never have sex (because of how much I'm terrified of pregnancy)

The fact I'm willing to have sex at all now (even if I prefer much older) is major progress.

The fact I've dabbled with using condoms/birth control with fertile broads is major progress too.

Of my 28 sex partners, only 13 (roughly half) were either 45+ or already pregnant.

When a condom slipped off in 2022 with a woman around my age, that was a turning point (it really scared me)

Come summer 2024, I gave that very same woman the condom slipped off with another try (and this time, I checked the condom throughout the sex like you do). As I've said, checking the condom to make sure it stayed in place killed the joy of sex. No amount of therapy would change that.

 

[Gamisch]

I'm going to start by saying I used to (as a teen) insist I would never have sex (because of how much I'm terrified of pregnancy)

The fact I'm willing to have sex at all now (even if I prefer much older) is major progress.

The fact I've dabbled with using condoms/birth control with fertile broads is major progress too.

Of my 28 sex partners, only 13 (roughly half) were either 45+ or already pregnant.

When a condom slipped off in 2022 with a woman around my age, that was a turning point (it really scared me)

Come summer 2024, I gave that very same woman the condom slipped off with another try (and this time, I checked the condom throughout the sex like you do). As I've said, checking the condom to make sure it stayed in place killed the joy of sex. No amount of therapy would change that.

Are you scared you have to become responsible? It's not your coochie getting ripped apart,its hers.

Strange fear . I don't get it..I rather fear an std than a pregnancy.

You sound like a man on a boxing forum saying he wants to box but don't wanna get hit. Just " beat the sack" would be the most sound advice.

 

[GoodMan32]

I mean that you might think this " fetish " sets you apart ( it does), but not as much as you'd think.

There's a reason why 2024 was the year when the so-called "cougar's" popularity skyrocketed.

Why you ask? Because a large group of young men are invisible to women their own age. So they go for the next best thing: older women. The only difference between you and the next man who struggles is that that next man would still prefer a young woman but he simply can't get that.

Hence my comment about stiff( no diddy) competition. The older woman you are after requires more game than ever because she will also have an abundance of choice, mainly horny desperate young men who wanna nut somewhere.

Still it's odd that if you would be active on a dating app and set the age range from 45 to 60 that you are not able to land one . Most men set the range from 20 to 45 .

I suppose one thing that sets me apart (from the younger men who would like a young woman, yet merely struggle to get one) is the fact the cougar wouldn't have to worry about me leaving her if a young woman takes a liking to me (on the other hand, most younger men who look for older broads out of desperation would bail the second a young woman offers him cooch)

I've nailed three 45+ non-escort broads. I met all 3 on Craigslist. I haven't really had any luck getting 45+ broads through traditional dating sites/apps (The dates I've gotten from non-Craigslist dating sites have been 35 and below)

Granted, part of that could be because I haven't really tried a whole lot with 45+ broads on traditional dating sites/apps (as most would immediately disqualify me based on my age, even if they liked my looks/personality)

The closest I've gotten to a 45+ free woman on a non-Craigslist tech method:

-A 50 year old doctor reached out to me on Bumble. Even though nothing came of it, I'm extremely impressed by the fact a doctor reached out to me.

-A 49 year old woman on FetLife offered to come over and let me watch her pee (which is every bit as enjoyable as sex to me). Unfortunately, our schedules never matched up.

 

[GoodMan32]

Are you scared you have to become responsible? It's not your coochie getting ripped apart,its hers.

Strange fear . I don't get it..I rather fear an std than a pregnancy.

You sound like a man on a boxing forum saying he wants to box but don't wanna get hit. Just " beat the sack" would be the most sound advice.

I don't want to raise my progeny, nor do I want any financial responsibility for my progeny.

Furthermore, even if I could reproduce without having to raise or support my progeny, I still don't want to pollute a woman's womb with my genes.

Most STDs are curable. For that reason, pregnancy scares me way more than STDs.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I still don't want to pollute a woman's womb with my genes.

One snip and your problems are over.

 

[Sega Genesis]

He lacks the maturity to stay in his lane. I've done 50+ real estate transactions and built my net worth via investment property....I've raised 3 respectful children with great behavior and good values. He tries to assert himself in inappropriate ways where he has no experience. It is annoying. Needless to say his behavior is eroding my respect for him, and that is not good.

I want someone desirable. So I took the tradeoff but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I nearly skipped him altogether because of the age gap. He was very persistent.

I just read this ^^ @BeExcellent and just wanted to say I'm sorry and hope y'all can work it out and that your love is enough, it's not always.

Also to say as a woman with such a high SMV as yourself (despite your age which is irrelevant imo), you shouldn't have to "trade off," you can have both!

You know this too so a bit shocked to read this but your honesty about it is refreshing.

Happy Holidays!

 

[GoodMan32]

I just read this ^^ @BeExcellent and just wanted to say I'm sorry and hope y'all can work it out and that your love is enough, it's not always.

Also to say with a woman with such a high SMV as yourself (despite your age which is irrelevant imo), you shouldn't have to "trade off," you can have both!

You know this too so a bit shocked to read it but your honesty about it is refreshing.

Happy Holidays!

I thought her marriage sounded bad (based on her description)

She then replied to me that she's happily married (even if her marriage isn't perfect)

Personally, I think her husband sounds miserable to be married to, largely because of his ASD traits (and I say this as a fellow autist)

 

[Sega Genesis]

I thought her marriage sounded bad (based on her description)

She then replied to me that she's happily married (even if her marriage isn't perfect)

Personally, I think her husband sounds miserable to be married to, largely because of his ASD traits (and I say this as a fellow autist)

Thanks I just read that too and that she loves him. So I hope that love is enough because from my perspective and what's been posted here, once respect is lost, it's pretty much done.

In any event, it's Be's call of course, I still don't think she needed to trade-off though.

She's gorgeous, educated, highly intelligent and accomplished, turns heads wherever she goes, she can certainly have both a hot man and a man who is her intellectual equal (or higher). A man who doesn't annoy her and whom she respects.

They do exist.

JMO as always.

 

[GoodMan32]

Thanks I just read that too and that she loves him. So I hope that love is enough because from my perspective and what's been posted here, once respect is lost, it's pretty much done.

In any event, it's Be's call of course, I still don't think she needed to trade-off though.

She's gorgeous, educated, highly intelligent and accomplished, she can certainly have both a hot man and a man who is her intellectual equal (or higher).

They do exist.

JMO as always.

Autists in general make bad husbands (I'm self-aware enough to admit it; one reason I'm never marrying)

As you said though, when it comes to her specific marriage, it's her call.

I know you said her age is irrelevant. To me, it's relevant...in a good way. Her age adds to her sexiness factor (a woman is like a fine wine: better with age)

From what she's shared, her husband is educated and makes good money (even if he lacks the real estate investments she's made)

His income, combined with his height, plus the fact he's surprisingly athletic for a man with ASD is probably why he's gotten lots of attention from the ladies through the years (and why his persistence ended up helping him in securing a wife)

As an autist who lacks a high income, is only average height, and lacks athleticism, I haven't been nearly as fortunate as him (in terms of attention from the ladies). In fact, when I've been persistent (in the past), it came across as creepy. Funny how a certain behavior can be viewed as creepy or hot depending on who the guy is.

 

[Sega Genesis]

My opinion is not based on the fact he's autistic.

@ Be posted he is essentially not her intellectual equal, he lacks the knowledge, expertise and savvy she has, interjects about things where he has no business interjecting, and that it annoys her and is causing her to lose respect.

However it's not my place to judge, it just saddened me to read it that's all and hope it all works out.

Love is often not enough but in @Be and her husband's case, I truly hope it is!

 

[SW15]

His income, combined with his height, plus the fact he's surprisingly athletic for a man with ASD is probably why he's gotten lots of attention from the ladies through the years (and why his persistence ended up helping him in securing a wife)

It's possible to have a decent dating life as a top tier looks man who is not neurotypical. Black pill content creator Wheat Waffles addressed that combination in his What Should You Do In Your Dating Life? (Flow Chart) video.

Being a 'Chad' who isn't neurotypical is way better than the other looks tier options and not neurotypical.

 

[GoodMan32]

My opinion is not based on the fact he's autistic.

@ Be posted he is essentially not her intellectual equal, he lacks the knowledge, expertise and savvy she has, interjects about things where he has no business interjecting, and that it annoys her and is causing her to lose respect.

However it's not my place to judge, it just saddened me to read it that's all and hope it all works out.

Love is often not enough but in @Be and her husband's case, I truly hope it is!

Ok, I get where you're coming from.

Even if her husband is booksmart (and is a successful employee in a STEM job), he (per her admission) interjects about stuff like real estate and parenting advice (areas he has no experience in)

He also acts insecure around her social circle (Which, as a fellow autist, I totally understand. We don't do well in social settings in general. And I can only imagine how intimidating the social circle of a woman with @BeExcellent's social status must be)

 

[GoodMan32]

It's possible to have a decent dating life as a top tier looks man who is not neurotypical. Black pill content creator Wheat Waffles addressed that combination in his What Should You Do In Your Dating Life? (Flow Chart) video.

Being a 'Chad' who isn't neurotypical is way better than the other looks tier options and not neurotypical.

Yikes. After following the flowchart for my own circumstances, I ended up in the box of "find fulfillment outside of getting a woman"

 

[BeExcellent]

My opinion is not based on the fact he's autistic.

@ Be posted he is essentially not her intellectual equal, he lacks the knowledge, expertise and savvy she has, interjects about things where he has no business interjecting, and that it annoys her and is causing her to lose respect.

However it's not my place to judge, it just saddened me to read it that's all and hope it all works out.

Love is often not enough but in @Be and her husband's case, I truly hope it is!

@Sega Genesis he is brilliant. He has a Master's degree in a STEM field, he plays an instrument beautifully and he is an incredible vocalist. Intelligence and IQ are different than emotional quotient or EQ. I have high IQ and EQ. I have businesses and also work as a consultant in a STEM field.

He probably would do with a mood stabilizer frankly but he is in deep denial about his ASD and that is akin to a paralyzed man refusing to embrace/accept the paralysis, and thus refuse the tools available to help him. We were at a high brow Christmas party last night. Fortunately they had a live ensemble playing so my husband could take a seat & enjoy the music & I could alternatively socialize & sit a while next to him. Before we went to the party (and for the first time ever) he told me he gets uncomfortable and anxious at functions like this. That's a big step toward acknowledgement. He has a skewed view (thanks tone deaf in laws) toward mental & emotional health and sees medication as indcative of a mental health problem. There are deep roots in dysfunctional family background. He did well at the party, people there are understanding about his social issues and are welcoming.

Any man involves pros and cons. Any man. I am well aware and chose him based on things most important to me.