Blazing (swipe app)

GoodMan32

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If you believe in evil you automatically also believe in goodness. Theres no black with white.

So just as stressed as you are today, you can be equally esthetic about your life tomorrow..as we both mentioned: the stress is the aura you surround yourself with. And "unfortunately " stress/ despair is one of the most repulsive traits we as men can have. There are men in FOOKING PRISON right now who are probably more positive than you are.. and they're fecking..that's crazy work.

Gotta work on shifting your ENERGY. How ? Time to start doing some soul searching bro..

And perhaps , as CRAZY as it will sound:you gotta lower/up ( ????) your standard and expand your bracket instead of limiting yourself to just women older than 45..preferences are okay, but not in your situation .
I already know I have a track record of chickening out when a woman who hasn't reached peri-menopause offers me sex.

I turned down sex with a 21 year old after a 1st date once. We were both naked in bed (and her cooch was extremely wet)...yet I still turned down the sex. That's how crippling my pregnancy phobia is.

There was also a time when I ended up naked in bed with a 38 year old after a first date. I put a condom on. Then I rubbed my banana against her thigh until I climaxed. Yet another illustration of how crippling my pregnancy phobia is.

Knowing what'll probably happen if a below-45 woman offers me sex, why bother?
 

SW15

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The fact she had a baby in 2024 is an illustration of why I like to set my cutoff at 45+ (as early 40s are still dangerously fertile, even if past peak fertility)
She had a baby early in 2024 as a woman in her early 40s because she wasn't on birth control and her husband wasn't using a condom.

I have had sex with women younger than her not on birth control. I've used a condom. No pregnancies.

And then the fact that, as you indicated, she's probably had lots of committed boyfriends (in addition to her 2 marriages) despite her mediocrity, all further proof of how easy it is for a woman to get a partner.
It is easy for a woman to get a partner and more difficult for a man to get a partner. That's true no matter how much any man complains about that injustice.

Men need to be aware of that and plan around that idea. Attraction and seduction are about looks, money, status, and personality.

Men need to focus firstly on their looks and building an amazing physique. Get the lower body fat (13-15% target) and some muscle. Ripped abs and some muscle help a lot in getting women to drop their panties.

Personality helps too. Although it is less important than looks or money, it can help in the absence of a good quantity of money.
 

GoodMan32

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She had a baby early in 2024 as a woman in her early 40s because she wasn't on birth control and her husband wasn't using a condom.

I have had sex with women younger than her not on birth control. I've used a condom. No pregnancies.



It is easy for a woman to get a partner and more difficult for a man to get a partner. That's true no matter how much any man complains about that injustice.

Men need to be aware of that and plan around that idea. Attraction and seduction are about looks, money, status, and personality.

Men need to focus firstly on their looks and building an amazing physique. Get the lower body fat (13-15% target) and some muscle. Ripped abs and some muscle help a lot in getting women to drop their panties.

Personality helps too. Although it is less important than looks or money, it can help in the absence of a good quantity of money.
We don't know for a fact whether the female journalist was on birth control (or whether the husband used a condom). Nor should we; that's their own private business.

I'm aware many men have used condoms without impregnating anyone. That doesn't change the fact a decent amount of men, even with a condom, have impregnated a woman.

You've mentioned on the forum before that you like to check the condom throughout the romp to make sure it's on/intact. If you're OK with doing that, have at it. When I nailed a woman around my age this past summer, on the other hand, checking the condom throughout the romp ended up taking the fun out of the romp.

I've said before on the forum that my best lay was the 45 year old married woman I had the affair with back when I was at the boytoy age. The fact I could fvck away without having to fear pregnancy (and without having to worry about the condom staying intact) undoubtedly played a role in why she (despite being fat and older) was my best lay. Hell, eventually we opted out of using condoms anyway.

Here's the thing: I don't try to convince posters they should go for older broads. I accept the fact a lot of posters prefer younger (if anything, I'm glad I don't have to compete with you for older broads). All I'm asking is for posters to accept my age preference too.

As for looks/money/status/personality, I'd say men need at least 2 of those 4 qualities to do well with the ladies.

I only have looks.

I don't have money (as even though my family is wealthy, I personally have a low income)

I certainly don't have a sexy personality (being an autist)

I don't have social status either (being a low income autist)

On the other hand, I've known slayers with neither looks or money. A smooth alpha personality, combined with the social status of being a smooth alpha, is how these men with neither looks nor money manage to slay.
 

GoodMan32

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On the topic of my age preferences when picking a woman, I'd be intrigued to hear if @BeExcellent thinks the odds of a woman going for a man 12 years younger are as dismal as some posters make it sound (my age preference begins at 12 years older than me)

As a woman whose husband is 8 years younger than her, she could provide some valuable insight. 12 years really isn't a whole lot different than 8 years. It's not like we're talking about a 20+ year (or even 15 year) age gap.
 

Gamisch

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I already know I have a track record of chickening out when a woman who hasn't reached peri-menopause offers me sex.

I turned down sex with a 21 year old after a 1st date once. We were both naked in bed (and her cooch was extremely wet)...yet I still turned down the sex. That's how crippling my pregnancy phobia is.

There was also a time when I ended up naked in bed with a 38 year old after a first date. I put a condom on. Then I rubbed my banana against her thigh until I climaxed. Yet another illustration of how crippling my pregnancy phobia is.

Knowing what'll probably happen if a below-45 woman offers me sex, why bother?
That's sounds fecked up man..

You know what the thing is with dudes like you: you have a pattern of reasoning that can't be changed. But meanwhile you also dissatisfied with your current patterns .

Gotta make a choice. If you want women you gotta give them a reason to want you. Simple
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

AmsterdamAssassin

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Gotta make a choice. If you want women you gotta give them a reason to want you. Simple
He doesn't want 'women'. He wants to curl up on some old woman's lap sucking her tit and feel safe again.
 

GoodMan32

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That's sounds fecked up man..

You know what the thing is with dudes like you: you have a pattern of reasoning that can't be changed. But meanwhile you also dissatisfied with your current patterns .

Gotta make a choice. If you want women you gotta give them a reason to want you. Simple
What can't be changed is my phobia of pregnancy.
 

SW15

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What can't be changed is my phobia of pregnancy.
Plenty of neurotypicals have little to no desire to get women pregnant. Neurotypicals tend to handle that situation far differently than you do.

As for looks/money/status/personality, I'd say men need at least 2 of those 4 qualities to do well with the ladies.

I only have looks.

I don't have money (as even though my family is wealthy, I personally have a low income)

I certainly don't have a sexy personality (being an autist)

I don't have social status either (being a low income autist)
Whatever looks you may have are definitely not enough to offset deficiencies in other areas.

Your looks are not elite level. On swipe apps, women are seeking at least the 85-90th percentile on looks. It's very difficult to get to that 85-90th percentile. The 85-90th percentile on looks will also help in getting responses to random DMs on social media platforms, primarily Instagram.

You don't have money right now. After your parents die, you might be able to claim to have money in an inheritance. Your inheritance will likely not help you get more women to spread their legs for you in conventional mating scenarios and it's also many years away.

Here's the thing: I don't try to convince posters they should go for older broads. I accept the fact a lot of posters prefer younger (if anything, I'm glad I don't have to compete with you for older broads). All I'm asking is for posters to accept my age preference too.
Multiple posters here acknowledge that your age preference is going to make things far more difficult for you in the conventional mating environment. You are seeking an unusual to outlier level outcome. If you were swimming in an ocean, you would be swimming against the tide. It doesn't help your cause.
 

GoodMan32

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Plenty of neurotypicals have little to no desire to get women pregnant. Neurotypicals tend to handle that situation far differently than you do.



Whatever looks you may have are definitely not enough to offset deficiencies in other areas.

Your looks are not elite level. On swipe apps, women are seeking at least the 85-90th percentile on looks. It's very difficult to get to that 85-90th percentile. The 85-90th percentile on looks will also help in getting responses to random DMs on social media platforms, primarily Instagram.

You don't have money right now. After your parents die, you might be able to claim to have money in an inheritance. Your inheritance will likely not help you get more women to spread their legs for you in conventional mating scenarios and it's also many years away.



Multiple posters here acknowledge that your age preference is going to make things far more difficult for you in the conventional mating environment. You are seeking an unusual to outlier level outcome. If you were swimming in an ocean, you would be swimming against the tide. It doesn't help your cause.
The difference between myself and neurotypicals is the fact virtually no neurotypicals would commit suicide over a pregnancy. Put frankly, the stakes (when it comes to pregnancy) are a lot higher with me. That's why I'm willing to focus on older broads who are past their peak attractiveness, if that's what it takes to avoid ending up in a position where I have to kill myself.

If (as you said) any inheritance I get won't help me get laid, I suppose it doesn't matter how many years away (or how big) the inheritance is.

As for the age preference thing, I'm totally fine with anyone pointing out the fact many broads in my preferred age cohort won't go for a 33 year old. What I'm not fine with is when anyone (whether online or offline) tries to convince me I should change my age preference.

It would be one thing to tell a struggling guy who only goes for 8+ (out of 10) "Maybe you'd have better luck if you dipped down to 6s and 7s." That'd be helpful/constructive advice.

Telling a guy who's afraid to stick it in a fertile-age broad that he should go for fertile broads, on the other hand, is like telling a guy with a fear of heights that he should apply to a roofer job.

While I totally agree my age preference is a hurdle, worth mentioning is the fact 6 of my 9 non-escort partners were born before 1980 (put another way: 67% of my non-escort partners were born before 1980)
 

SW15

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The difference between myself and neurotypicals is the fact virtually no neurotypicals would commit suicide over a pregnancy. Put frankly, the stakes (when it comes to pregnancy) are a lot higher with me. That's why I'm willing to focus on older broads who are past their peak attractiveness, if that's what it takes to avoid ending up in a position where I have to kill myself.

As for the age preference thing, I'm totally fine with anyone pointing out the fact many broads in my preferred age cohort won't go for a 33 year old. What I'm not fine with is when anyone (whether online or offline) tries to convince me I should change my age preference.

Telling a guy who's afraid to stick it in a fertile-age broad that he should go for fertile broads, on the other hand, is like telling a guy with a fear of heights that he should apply to a roofer job.
The statements that you make are indicative of abnormal psychology. I'm not sure if you realize this. Neurotypicals would read this and come to this conclusion.

A response like this is the type of response that a neurotypical person has with your fixation with menopausal/post menopausal women.


There is a way to fix abnormal psychology. It likely involves therapy and medication. Mental health professionals would need to be involved. You would have to seek out treatment from the appropriate mental health professional.

You have been told to fix your mindset by other posters on this forum.


 

BeExcellent

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On the topic of my age preferences when picking a woman, I'd be intrigued to hear if @BeExcellent thinks the odds of a woman going for a man 12 years younger are as dismal as some posters make it sound (my age preference begins at 12 years older than me)

As a woman whose husband is 8 years younger than her, she could provide some valuable insight. 12 years really isn't a whole lot different than 8 years. It's not like we're talking about a 20+ year (or even 15 year) age gap.
The odds are certainly NOT in your favor. Women are going to shy away because they will see you as an individual who lacks the life experience to lead them. On top of that the spectrum and your deficits in social calibration are additional impediments.

My husband has elite level looks, is a elite level athlete and has killer style. He makes a six figure income. He is over 6 feet tall, all the physical things y'all are constantly jealous about on here. He had never before been married and he has no children of his own. He thinks he ought to be the MAN in the relationship, but he acts like an immature selfish punk much too often, tries to tell me how to parent (then gets upset when I ignore his faulty advice), tries to lecture me on real estate despite never having owned any real estate himself. He acts insecure around my social circles and the very very successful and smart men who are in that social circle.

He lacks the maturity to stay in his lane. I've done 50+ real estate transactions and built my net worth via investment property....I've raised 3 respectful children with great behavior and good values. He tries to assert himself in inappropriate ways where he has no experience. It is annoying. Needless to say his behavior is eroding my respect for him, and that is not good.

The trade off of course is that I run circles around most men my age & older. I want someone I can play golf, dance, and ski with, someone very active. I don't want a guy with a gut and a C-pap who needs to be in bed by 10pm. I want someone desirable. So I took the tradeoff but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I nearly skipped him altogether because of the age gap. He was very persistent.
 

SW15

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I run circles around most men my age & older. I want someone I can play golf, dance, and ski with, someone very active. I don't want a guy with a gut and a C-pap who needs to be in bed by 10pm. I want someone desirable. So I took the tradeoff but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I nearly skipped him altogether because of the age gap.
In general, a woman in her 50s would be most likely to date a man in his 50s-early 60s.

A woman who is in good shape in her 50s eliminates a lot of men in their 50s-early 60s in below average to bad shape. It was reality for you dating in your late 40s/early 50s to have to encounter some men in their 50s with significant health concerns that have altered their lifestyles.

Most women in their late 40s/early 50s won't go younger but will try to look for the similarly aged men in good shape. They would be looking for the roughly 55 year old man who lives an active lifestyle.

While a woman in her 50s can get an abundance of options (usually by using tech based dating methods), her abundance of options often aren't very impressive.
 

GoodMan32

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The odds are certainly NOT in your favor. Women are going to shy away because they will see you as an individual who lacks the life experience to lead them. On top of that the spectrum and your deficits in social calibration are additional impediments.

My husband has elite level looks, is a elite level athlete and has killer style. He makes a six figure income. He is over 6 feet tall, all the physical things y'all are constantly jealous about on here. He had never before been married and he has no children of his own. He thinks he ought to be the MAN in the relationship, but he acts like an immature selfish punk much too often, tries to tell me how to parent (then gets upset when I ignore his faulty advice), tries to lecture me on real estate despite never having owned any real estate himself. He acts insecure around my social circles and the very very successful and smart men who are in that social circle.

He lacks the maturity to stay in his lane. I've done 50+ real estate transactions and built my net worth via investment property....I've raised 3 respectful children with great behavior and good values. He tries to assert himself in inappropriate ways where he has no experience. It is annoying. Needless to say his behavior is eroding my respect for him, and that is not good.

The trade off of course is that I run circles around most men my age & older. I want someone I can play golf, dance, and ski with, someone very active. I don't want a guy with a gut and a C-pap who needs to be in bed by 10pm. I want someone desirable. So I took the tradeoff but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I nearly skipped him altogether because of the age gap. He was very persistent.
So in conclusion, despite the fact he has stuff going for him that I don't (height, income, athleticism), his ASD still causes him to exhibit certain behaviors that make you barely tolerate him.

Goes to show how much of a hurdle ASD is (even without taking age into account)

Circling back to age, what about if I'm looking for casual sex (rather than a girlfriend/wife)? Would the age gap between myself and my preferred woman (45-60s) matter as much then?
 

GoodMan32

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The statements that you make are indicative of abnormal psychology. I'm not sure if you realize this. Neurotypicals would read this and come to this conclusion.

A response like this is the type of response that a neurotypical person has with your fixation with menopausal/post menopausal women.


There is a way to fix abnormal psychology. It likely involves therapy and medication. Mental health professionals would need to be involved. You would have to seek out treatment from the appropriate mental health professional.

You have been told to fix your mindset by other posters on this forum.


Ok, for argument's sake, let's pretend I were to start focusing on my own age bracket. After thinking on it, I have my doubts of how much better my luck would really be.

I'd still be swimming against the current because of my ASD. The vast majority of the female population will never find an autist sexually exciting.

As @BeExcellent indicated on her post, her husband's ASD makes him exhibit behaviors she can barely stand.

The fact I was viewed as the freaky creep no girl wanted in high school, as well as the fact I relied on tech methods in college, goes to show what broads born in the 1989-94 range think of me.

Then there was my last date (back in 2023) with the 1985 baby (which is still relatively close in age to me). It took all of 4 days for her to start giving me attitude.

Additionally, my insistence on watching my partner pee is a hurdle too (as not every woman is on board with her partner watching her)

In conclusion, I circle back to what I said at the beginning of my post (I'm swimming against the current even with broads close in age to me)
 

SW15

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let's pretend I were to start focusing on my own age bracket. After thinking on it, I have my doubts of how much better my luck would really be.

I'd still be swimming against the current because of my ASD. The vast majority of the female population will never find an autist sexually exciting.

In conclusion, I circle back to what I said at the beginning of my post (I'm swimming against the current even with broads close in age to me)
Your ASD does not make you that special. The conventional mating environment is challenging for neurotypicals who have a healthy range BMI and are looking to date women close to their age.

Neurotypicals don't throw up their hands and give up on dating women in the own age bracket because the environment is tough. Neurotypicals under 35 don't decide that dating menopausal/post menopausal women is the solution to their problems. I can't think of any neurotypical who would choose that solution if he were having a problem in the conventional mating market.

A neurotypical with a strong mindset will engage in self-improvement tactics to get pussie near his own age. He might try to level up in his fitness or career to improve looks/money/status. Improving looks/money/status can help with getting pussie.

You need to improve mindset, which covers the personality side of the attraction/seduction equation.

The current mating environment really stinks for a lot of men. It's bad out there. You're not doing yourself any favors with your mindset.

The fact I was viewed as the freaky creep no girl wanted in high school, as well as the fact I relied on tech methods in college, goes to show what broads born in the 1989-94 range think of me.
It's true that you received negative feedback from the market in high school and in college. That stinks for you.

You finished high school 15 years ago. That shouldn't be relevant anymore. If you finished college in 4-5 years after high school, that means college is 10 years in the past.

You are letting old information guide the present. At a certain point, information becomes outdated and is no longer relevant.

I am TOTALLY UNIMPRESSED with the work that you have done in psychotherapy with various psychologists and/or psychiatrists. This is something that should have been fixed in talk therapy and/or with medication a long time ago.

You need to bring in new mental health professionals to assess your current situation and help you work past these old problems. Only mental health professionals can do this. No SoSuave forum poster can help you fix your mindset problems unless you take the initiative and fix your problems with the correct therapy and medication process as diagnosed and guided by a licensed mental health professional.

there was my last date (back in 2023) with the 1985 baby (which is still relatively close in age to me). It took all of 4 days for her to start giving me attitude.
So what? I could go on a date with a 1985 born woman within the next week and she could start giving me attitude within 4 days. That's nothing special.

If I went on a date with a woman born in 1985 this week and she showed that she had an attitude problem, I would get rid of her as fast as I could. I would want nothing to do with her.

I can give you an example of a woman who gave me bad attitude and I punted her over it.

At some point in the 2010s, I set up a date from a swipe app. At the time, my car was over 10 years old. It was a car that was mechanically sound and in good shape. It looked good on the outside too. She gave me attitude on the first date about having an old car as she had a less than 2 year old luxury car at the time (it was one of those crossover models). I punted her fast over her attitude that my car was trash. I didn't try to bang her and I didn't want to be around someone with her bad attitude over my car.

Also, for you, a 1985 woman is like a 1977 woman for me. I don't go on dates with women born in 1977. That would be a waste of my time. I'm not going to get what I want out of a woman born in 1977 and she's not going to get what she wants out of me.
 

GoodMan32

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Your ASD does not make you that special. The conventional mating environment is challenging for neurotypicals who have a healthy range BMI and are looking to date women close to their age.

Neurotypicals don't throw up their hands and give up on dating women in the own age bracket because the environment is tough. Neurotypicals under 35 don't decide that dating menopausal/post menopausal women is the solution to their problems. I can't think of any neurotypical who would choose that solution if he were having a problem in the conventional mating market.

A neurotypical with a strong mindset will engage in self-improvement tactics to get pussie near his own age. He might try to level up in his fitness or career to improve looks/money/status. Improving looks/money/status can help with getting pussie.

You need to improve mindset, which covers the personality side of the attraction/seduction equation.

The current mating environment really stinks for a lot of men. It's bad out there. You're not doing yourself any favors with your mindset.



It's true that you received negative feedback from the market in high school and in college. That stinks for you.

You finished high school 15 years ago. That shouldn't be relevant anymore. If you finished college in 4-5 years after high school, that means college is 10 years in the past.

You are letting old information guide the present. At a certain point, information becomes outdated and is no longer relevant.

I am TOTALLY UNIMPRESSED with the work that you have done in psychotherapy with various psychologists and/or psychiatrists. This is something that should have been fixed in talk therapy and/or with medication a long time ago.

You need to bring in new mental health professionals to assess your current situation and help you work past these old problems. Only mental health professionals can do this. No SoSuave forum poster can help you fix your mindset problems unless you take the initiative and fix your problems with the correct therapy and medication process as diagnosed and guided by a licensed mental health professional.



So what? I could go on a date with a 1985 born woman within the next week and she could start giving me attitude within 4 days. That's nothing special.

If I went on a date with a woman born in 1985 this week and she showed that she had an attitude problem, I would get rid of her as fast as I could. I would want nothing to do with her.

I can give you an example of a woman who gave me bad attitude and I punted her over it.

At some point in the 2010s, I set up a date from a swipe app. At the time, my car was over 10 years old. It was a car that was mechanically sound and in good shape. It looked good on the outside too. She gave me attitude on the first date about having an old car as she had a less than 2 year old luxury car at the time (it was one of those crossover models). I punted her fast over her attitude that my car was trash. I didn't try to bang her and I didn't want to be around someone with her bad attitude over my car.

Also, for you, a 1985 woman is like a 1977 woman for me. I don't go on dates with women born in 1977. That would be a waste of my time. I'm not going to get what I want out of a woman born in 1977 and she's not going to get what she wants out of me.
Umm, my preference for older broads isn't because of the struggles I've faced with my own age bracket. It's a pregnancy prevention loophole.

As for the story of a broad giving you attitude over your car, I agree you were right to deep six her.

From the sounds of it, she gave you the attitude on the 1st date. At least you knew right from the start she was bad news. The alarming part about the 1985 baby I had the date with is the fact the 1st date went extremely well, yet I still ended up getting attitude 4 days later.
 

BeExcellent

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So in conclusion, despite the fact he has stuff going for him that I don't (height, income, athleticism), his ASD still causes him to exhibit certain behaviors that make you barely tolerate him.

Goes to show how much of a hurdle ASD is (even without taking age into account)

Circling back to age, what about if I'm looking for casual sex (rather than a girlfriend/wife)? Would the age gap between myself and my preferred woman (45-60s) matter as much then?
I love him very much. He loves in a way that is difficult to describe. Almost child like in its innocence & belief in the idea of love. And he is beautifully dedicated to that love idea and expressive of it with a largeness of heart that is as unusual as it is refreshing. Psychologists refer to it as austic joy. It is a wonderment you could say. He loves me very much too. So I would not say I "barely tolerate" him. Its just a study in contrasts behaviorally

You see ASD people feel the normal range of emotions, sometimes very much more intensely than the neurotypical person. They just don't always know how to channel what they feel. And often they have zero filter in social settings.

He is not going to be controlled (good, but at times annoying), and he is rigid in his expectations. But he does try to relate & to show me how he feels. And he has let me in, which is like getting access to Fort Knox.

But no relationship is a total picnic. I happened to choose a more complicated man than most.

In answer to your question, yes. I think your prospects are better looking for a short term lover type interaction, however the other problem you may face is women my age often want to settle down as their beauty fades, and in that case will look for a more relatable life companion candidate rather than a horny younger stud.

Your mileage may vary.

You'll need to learn to communicate your intent in a direct and transparent way. Calibration is everything.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Umm, my preference for older broads isn't because of the struggles I've faced with my own age bracket. It's a pregnancy prevention loophole.
Vasectomy would solve your problems. You already expressed that you don't want kids anyway, because of your sh!tty DNA, so why not take your balls out of the gene pool? At least we wouldn't have to read your cringe threads where you try to justify your fetishes.
 

Gamisch

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Vasectomy would solve your problems. You already expressed that you don't want kids anyway, because of your sh!tty DNA, so why not take your balls out of the gene pool? At least we wouldn't have to read your cringe threads where you try to justify your fetishes.
A fetish that leads him nowhere.

If anything he should be able to EASILY pull women from his preferred bracket. But to put it bluntly: he lacks das balls.

To cut him some slack: I keep seeing more and more men like this. The downside is that his competition is huge. Many desperate men pray for the same type of woman.
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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