Blazing (swipe app)

[AmsterdamAssassin]

@GoodMan32
What is it that you want? I've lost track

He simply wants attention and validation.

 

[GoodMan32]

I love him very much. He loves in a way that is difficult to describe. Almost child like in its innocence & belief in the idea of love. And he is beautifully dedicated to that love idea and expressive of it with a largeness of heart that is as unusual as it is refreshing. Psychologists refer to it as austic joy. It is a wonderment you could say. He loves me very much too. So I would not say I "barely tolerate" him. Its just a study in contrasts behaviorally

You see ASD people feel the normal range of emotions, sometimes very much more intensely than the neurotypical person. They just don't always know how to channel what they feel. And often they have zero filter in social settings.

He is not going to be controlled (good, but at times annoying), and he is rigid in his expectations. But he does try to relate & to show me how he feels. And he has let me in, which is like getting access to Fort Knox.

But no relationship is a total picnic. I happened to choose a more complicated man than most.

In answer to your question, yes. I think your prospects are better looking for a short term lover type interaction, however the other problem you may face is women my age often want to settle down as their beauty fades, and in that case will look for a more relatable life companion candidate rather than a horny younger stud.

Your mileage may vary.

You'll need to learn to communicate your intent in a direct and transparent way. Calibration is everything.

Ok. I thought it sounded like you were miserable with your marriage. If you enjoy being married to him, more power to you.

One thing I can relate to is how he's insecure around your social circle. As a fellow man with ASD, I feel inadequate socially too.

You're preaching to the choir about how those of us with ASD don't always know a socially acceptable manner in which to express our emotions.

Communicating my intent in a direct/transparent manner is one thing I've always struggled with. That's probably why 7 of my 9 non-escort partners have come from hookup websites (because at least then, it's implied both parties want casual sex; no need for me to find a socially acceptable way to tell her)

I'd imagine even neurotypical men often struggle to find a tactful way to tell a woman they want casual sex.

Further complicating matters for me is the fact a socially awkward man is prone to getting viewed as a creep if he wants casual sex (whereas a smooth alpha is viewed as badass if he wants casual sex)

 

[GoodMan32]

A fetish that leads him nowhere.

If anything he should be able to EASILY pull women from his preferred bracket. But to put it bluntly: he lacks das balls.

To cut him some slack: I keep seeing more and more men like this. The downside is that his competition is huge. Many desperate men pray for the same type of woman.

With all due respect, you appear to be contradicting yourself. First you say my so-called lack of (what you call) das balls is the only thing stopping me from bagging more cougars.

Yet then you go on to say there's lots of competition for an older woman (which would suggest even if I had das balls, I'd struggle)

 

[GoodMan32]

@GoodMan32

What is it that you want? I've lost track

I want a sexual relationship with a woman in the age range of 45-60s.

I'm down to do other stuff with her too. I just don't want the commitment of an all-out boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (and I certainly don't want marriage)

 

[SW15]

It's a pregnancy prevention loophole.

No it isn't. It is you exhibiting abnormal psychology.

On this forum, the majority of male posters are not looking to get a woman pregnant in the near future. The younger ones (under 45) aren't seeking menopausal women as sex partners. Most of the younger posters are looking to get a substantially younger girlfriend, even if a pregnancy isn't a priority item.

The majority of the world isn't posting on SoSuave or similar forums.

The majority of men are also trying to avoid pregnancy most of the time. Most unmarried men aren't desiring children. They are either childless men who see children as a possibility in the distant future, childless men who aren't prioritizing having children/do not want children, or men with children from prior relationships. There are a few married men who are actively trying to have children with a wife but that's a smaller percentage of men. A lot of married men (especially in more middle class + social circles) have their 1-3 children with the wife (usually 1-2 children) and then are done with having children. The having children phase is a very short phase for most established couples. In my social circle, most of the blue pilled guys and their wives had their 1-2 children already and aren't planning on more.

A lot of men use condoms. Condoms are useful for both pregnancy prevention and for preventing STDs/STIs.

As for women, most of them under menopause age aren't looking to get pregnant in most sexual encounters either.

It's possible that my perspective on women is skewed by my interactions with mainly bougie White women. I define a bougie White woman as a White woman with a bachelor's degree or higher living in a major city and working some sort of white collar type job.

Bougie White women are typically using birth control, especially when they are under 35 and childless. After 35, some childless bougie White women might slow down the birth control after 10-20 years on it. By 35-40, many bougie White women have had their 1-2 children with their beta husbands. If these women leave their beta husbands, they typically won't be looking to have more kids and they may/may not use birth control to achieve that.

Younger, childless women who use swipe apps to meet men and/or are actively going to bars to meet men aren't prioritizing getting pregnant in the short term. Some of them might want to get pregnant in the future in a more stable relationship, but that's a future concern for them. The current concern for most younger women is not getting pregnant in the next few months.

With condoms and birth control, most younger adults find ways to have sex and avoid pregnancy.

There's a reason that birth rates have been lower for the Gen Y/Millennial and Generation Z/Zoomer generations.

 

[Gamisch]

With all due respect, you appear to be contradicting yourself. First you say my so-called lack of (what you call) das balls is the only thing stopping me from bagging more cougars.

Yet then you go on to say there's lots of competition for an older woman (which would suggest even if I had das balls, I'd struggle)

I mean that you might think this " fetish " sets you apart ( it does), but not as much as you'd think.

There's a reason why 2024 was the year when the so-called "cougar's" popularity skyrocketed.

Why you ask? Because a large group of young men are invisible to women their own age. So they go for the next best thing: older women. The only difference between you and the next man who struggles is that that next man would still prefer a young woman but he simply can't get that.

Hence my comment about stiff( no diddy) competition. The older woman you are after requires more game than ever because she will also have an abundance of choice, mainly horny desperate young men who wanna nut somewhere.

Still it's odd that if you would be active on a dating app and set the age range from 45 to 60 that you are not able to land one . Most men set the range from 20 to 45 .

 

[GoodMan32]

No it isn't. It is you exhibiting abnormal psychology.

On this forum, the majority of male posters are not looking to get a woman pregnant in the near future. The younger ones (under 45) aren't seeking menopausal women as sex partners. Most of the younger posters are looking to get a substantially younger girlfriend, even if a pregnancy isn't a priority item.

The majority of the world isn't posting on SoSuave or similar forums.

The majority of men are also trying to avoid pregnancy most of the time. Most unmarried men aren't desiring children. They are either childless men who see children as a possibility in the distant future, childless men who aren't prioritizing having children/do not want children, or men with children from prior relationships. There are a few married men who are actively trying to have children with a wife but that's a smaller percentage of men. A lot of married men (especially in more middle class + social circles) have their 1-3 children with the wife (usually 1-2 children) and then are done with having children. The having children phase is a very short phase for most established couples. In my social circle, most of the blue pilled guys and their wives had their 1-2 children already and aren't planning on more.

A lot of men use condoms. Condoms are useful for both pregnancy prevention and for preventing STDs/STIs.

As for women, most of them under menopause age aren't looking to get pregnant in most sexual encounters either.

It's possible that my perspective on women is skewed by my interactions with mainly bougie White women. I define a bougie White woman as a White woman with a bachelor's degree or higher living in a major city and working some sort of white collar type job.

Bougie White women are typically using birth control, especially when they are under 35 and childless. After 35, some childless bougie White women might slow down the birth control after 10-20 years on it. By 35-40, many bougie White women have had their 1-2 children with their beta husbands. If these women leave their beta husbands, they typically won't be looking to have more kids and they may/may not use birth control to achieve that.

Younger, childless women who use swipe apps to meet men and/or are actively going to bars to meet men aren't prioritizing getting pregnant in the short term. Some of them might want to get pregnant in the future in a more stable relationship, but that's a future concern for them. The current concern for most younger women is not getting pregnant in the next few months.

With condoms and birth control, most younger adults find ways to have sex and avoid pregnancy.

There's a reason that birth rates have been lower for the Gen Y/Millennial and Generation Z/Zoomer generations.

I'm going to start by saying I used to (as a teen) insist I would never have sex (because of how much I'm terrified of pregnancy)

The fact I'm willing to have sex at all now (even if I prefer much older) is major progress.

The fact I've dabbled with using condoms/birth control with fertile broads is major progress too.

Of my 28 sex partners, only 13 (roughly half) were either 45+ or already pregnant.

When a condom slipped off in 2022 with a woman around my age, that was a turning point (it really scared me)

Come summer 2024, I gave that very same woman the condom slipped off with another try (and this time, I checked the condom throughout the sex like you do). As I've said, checking the condom to make sure it stayed in place killed the joy of sex. No amount of therapy would change that.

 

[Gamisch]

I'm going to start by saying I used to (as a teen) insist I would never have sex (because of how much I'm terrified of pregnancy)

The fact I'm willing to have sex at all now (even if I prefer much older) is major progress.

The fact I've dabbled with using condoms/birth control with fertile broads is major progress too.

Of my 28 sex partners, only 13 (roughly half) were either 45+ or already pregnant.

When a condom slipped off in 2022 with a woman around my age, that was a turning point (it really scared me)

Come summer 2024, I gave that very same woman the condom slipped off with another try (and this time, I checked the condom throughout the sex like you do). As I've said, checking the condom to make sure it stayed in place killed the joy of sex. No amount of therapy would change that.

Are you scared you have to become responsible? It's not your coochie getting ripped apart,its hers.

Strange fear . I don't get it..I rather fear an std than a pregnancy.

You sound like a man on a boxing forum saying he wants to box but don't wanna get hit. Just " beat the sack" would be the most sound advice.

 

[GoodMan32]

I mean that you might think this " fetish " sets you apart ( it does), but not as much as you'd think.

There's a reason why 2024 was the year when the so-called "cougar's" popularity skyrocketed.

Why you ask? Because a large group of young men are invisible to women their own age. So they go for the next best thing: older women. The only difference between you and the next man who struggles is that that next man would still prefer a young woman but he simply can't get that.

Hence my comment about stiff( no diddy) competition. The older woman you are after requires more game than ever because she will also have an abundance of choice, mainly horny desperate young men who wanna nut somewhere.

Still it's odd that if you would be active on a dating app and set the age range from 45 to 60 that you are not able to land one . Most men set the range from 20 to 45 .

I suppose one thing that sets me apart (from the younger men who would like a young woman, yet merely struggle to get one) is the fact the cougar wouldn't have to worry about me leaving her if a young woman takes a liking to me (on the other hand, most younger men who look for older broads out of desperation would bail the second a young woman offers him cooch)

I've nailed three 45+ non-escort broads. I met all 3 on Craigslist. I haven't really had any luck getting 45+ broads through traditional dating sites/apps (The dates I've gotten from non-Craigslist dating sites have been 35 and below)

Granted, part of that could be because I haven't really tried a whole lot with 45+ broads on traditional dating sites/apps (as most would immediately disqualify me based on my age, even if they liked my looks/personality)

The closest I've gotten to a 45+ free woman on a non-Craigslist tech method:

-A 50 year old doctor reached out to me on Bumble. Even though nothing came of it, I'm extremely impressed by the fact a doctor reached out to me.

-A 49 year old woman on FetLife offered to come over and let me watch her pee (which is every bit as enjoyable as sex to me). Unfortunately, our schedules never matched up.

 

[GoodMan32]

Are you scared you have to become responsible? It's not your coochie getting ripped apart,its hers.

Strange fear . I don't get it..I rather fear an std than a pregnancy.

You sound like a man on a boxing forum saying he wants to box but don't wanna get hit. Just " beat the sack" would be the most sound advice.

I don't want to raise my progeny, nor do I want any financial responsibility for my progeny.

Furthermore, even if I could reproduce without having to raise or support my progeny, I still don't want to pollute a woman's womb with my genes.

Most STDs are curable. For that reason, pregnancy scares me way more than STDs.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I still don't want to pollute a woman's womb with my genes.

One snip and your problems are over.