Let me illustrate this point (about high self esteem women). I'll talk about a well known old player here, Guru, who I have had opportunity to discuss the game with on multiple occassions. He's a cool dude, by the way.
Guru is a successful man, attractive, socially adroit, experienced at life. A risk taker. A self described playboy. He ran rotations & dated (I use the term loosely) many objectively hot women, got into LTRs here and there, and he understood women very well.
Except. He too would fall into the trap of expecting ANY woman to pursue him. Why? Because he'd had so much interest from women who at the end of the day were insecure/low self esteem (and many hot women fall into this category). So he was telling me about a beautiful girl he liked who is Ivy League educated, smart, savvy, and self-confident. He was perplexed because the conversation via text had dropped off, despite her warmth in responding.
Now. Guru knows that I ascribe to the investment viewpoint in dating. He also knows that my archetype of choice is the good looking player who has women running after him. He also knows that these players fall for me. Hmmmm. Why is that? Because I have the self confidence to KNOW what I bring to the table, I understand my own value is not based on appearance, and I know finding a beautiful woman who is also a smart, fun, solid, genuine person is RARE. So I don't need to be the hottest girl in the room if I'm the best girl across the board. And if a man doesn't see my value? Fine. Some other desirable man will.
So I told Guru, Listen. This girl you like isn't like the women you have chasing you. You are going to have to take some initiative, make an effort/extend an invitation/invest, give her something concrete to respond to. If she likes you she will say yes and be agreeable. Then you proceed from there.
He did this (reached out & invited her to do something - he hadn't heard from her for like 2 weeks at that point - and I told him, Look if you don't reach out you'll never hear from her - you've weeded yourself out in her book......)
She said yes. He called & was like, Ya know BE, it worked.
He's like, I really dig this girl. I said of course you do. We come to love what we invest in. And if she is responding by investing in you? Well this could be a great interaction that could develop legs.
Haven't talked with him in a while, but I'd bet he may be in a LTR at this point.
Men who get very skilled at the game have to learn when to drop the games for something worthwhile, because at the end of the day most men (yes even players) desire a meaningful relationship.
Playboy 101 is gaining the abundance mindset and getting past being bamboozeled by beauty. Its gaining comfort & calibration (lack of intimidation) around beauty.
Playboy 202 is learning to select women based on characteristics & behaviors rather than looks.
Playboy 303 is the ability to leave the game once you've experienced enough to apply 101 and 202 IF you find a woman worth leaving the playboy mindset for.
Caveat emptor of course.
That is the old lady's $0.02.
