You're right, the vast majority of men will typically have no idea what exactly they did wrong.Exactly how is this different from 95% of guys?
Most "normal" guys have no idea either. And furthermore it's mostly irrelevant because even if you asked the woman to tell you she likely wouldn't or wouldn't be able to tell you exactly what it is.
It's usually a feeling or lack of feeling she has when she is with you. Ie, you don't make her feel the way she wants to feel when she is with a man.
What causes that, who knows. That's why you have to do it over and over again until you figure it out thru trial and error, then you slowly keep what works and throw away what doesn't in most situations.
You are trying to skip the entire process and just get to the end result and that's not the way it works.
Stop trying to avoid having to go thru the struggle and embrace the struggle because that will teach you a hell of a lot more than taking the easy road.
What puts men on the spectrum in a worse boat, however, is the fact our understanding of social norms is extremely lacking (compared to the average man). As a result, we're far more likely to end up in the position where the woman doesn't have the right feeling with us.