Is it even worth it for a guy like me to try with making moves in-person?

[BaronOfHair]

I get what you're saying

Excellent!!! Now apply the knowledge you've been gifted here at SS, by adopting behaviors that stand to enrich your existence, rather than diminish it. Namely, start pursuing women between the ages of 21-your own age

Now(summer)is the ideal time to do so. Every sexy young thang in the land is lounging around the pool, clad in little more than their latest from Frankie's

https://frankiesbikinis.com/?nbt=nb...i=&nb_pc=&nb_pi=&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_si={sourceid}&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=p&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjws560BhCuARIsAHMqE0GE3_0YDFuZiITLIzlOZhUzgtmjQB6pDvWTA7UVMUx9xrTakUudXfAaAlCYEALw_wcB

 

[GoodMan32]

Your problem is you have an inferiority complex and that makes you ugly in everyone's eyes, mens included.

No woman wants a guy who has zero self confidence and who thinks she is too good for him.

I have low self-esteem; I admit.

The funny thing is: I'm known to brag about my looks. But the bragging is all a facade (to mask my low self-esteem)

 

[GoodMan32]

Honestly the amount of rationization and justification you are doing is making me physically sick almost.

It's been a long time since I have seen this many excuses in one thread from the same person.

I'm out. You can't be helped with your current mindset and that's a shame because you are doing to to yourself.

I really don't see what's so bad about pointing out that there's way less stigma about a 45 year old woman getting with a man my age vs a woman in her 60s getting with a man my age.

Or at least I imagine there's way less stigma. To put it into perspective, a 65 year old could be the mom of a 45 year old woman (to show what a big difference there is between 45 vs 60s)

 

[GoodMan32]

There is a website called CougarLife, which is supposed to match cougars and cubs. A quick Google search shows website results with the feedback that men greatly outnumber women on CougarLife and that it is mostly a waste of time.



Both of these paths are unlikely to happen for most men. The only men who might get approached by some higher sex drive women seeking younger men are men in the 90th percentile + in looks. Also these men are likely under 26-27. You've likely aged out of that category by now and aren't good looking enough for that to happen.

A man seeking an older woman might get fortunate enough with approaching strangers to make it happen. It would take a lot of approaches, a dynamic personality, and better than average looks. This is most likely to happen in a bar environment but there are a few non-bar environments where it could also happen.



Generally speaking, it's going to be more difficult than average to find a 45-55 year old who is...

• Unattached and available
• Not seeking a longer term relationship
• Open to men 10+ years younger

A woman possessing these 3 attributes in that age range is rarer.



It's less common behavior for younger men to lust after women 10+ years older.

I tend to give much younger men (18-25) a bit of a pass on doing that if it is a shorter term thing. It is best for younger men to seek out young women close to his own age. However, it can be an interesting life experience to have sex with an attractive, much older woman (think 33-44) while he's still in his late teens/early 20s for a short period of time. When a man is 26+, he has enough selection of younger women near his own age.

The gynocentric social order in Western nations does give older men a rough time for dating substantially younger women.

As for CougarLife, I'm saddened (but not surprised) to hear it's a waste of time (and that there are way more male members than female members). That describes a lot of hookup apps.

Your point about older sex-crazed women preferring a man 26-27 or below isn't what I wanted to hear (but I acknowledge it could be true). I got a few 45+ year old women for free when I was 20-23. I was under the impression I'd have an easier time at my current age (since the age gap has narrowed quite a bit). Unfortunately, it sounds like the opposite is true. I'm in the unfortunate position where I'm too young to be her peer, yet too old to be a boytoy thrill.

Your closing comment about older men having a hard time finding a younger woman illustrates an interesting paradox: Even though older man/younger woman is more socially acceptable than the type of coupling I want; that doesn't mean it's easy for an older man to find a younger woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

Excellent!!! Now apply the knowledge you've been gifted here at SS, by adopting behaviors that stand to enrich your existence, rather than diminish it. Namely, start pursuing women between the ages of 21-your own age

Now(summer)is the ideal time to do so. Every sexy young thang in the land is lounging around the pool, clad in little more than their latest from Frankie's

https://frankiesbikinis.com/?nbt=nb:adwords:g:605287804:23990365112:329708872997&nb_adtype=&nb_kwd=frankies bikinis&nb_ti=kwd-59901331769&nb_mi=&nb_pc=&nb_pi=&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_si={sourceid}&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=p&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjws560BhCuARIsAHMqE0GE3_0YDFuZiITLIzlOZhUzgtmjQB6pDvWTA7UVMUx9xrTakUudXfAaAlCYEALw_wcB

Umm, but I prefer the moms of these 21 year olds. I thought I made that pretty clear.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I really don't see what's so bad about pointing out that there's way less stigma about a 45 year old woman getting with a man my age vs a woman in her 60s getting with a man my age.

Or at least I imagine there's way less stigma. To put it into perspective, a 65 year old could be the mom of a 45 year old woman (to show what a big difference there is between 45 vs 60s)

I mean whatever you gotta tell yourself. You should be looking at dating younger if anything, not significantly older.

The main issue is you have allowed Autism to define who you are as a person and have incorporated it into your identity.

Instead of a person who happens to have autism, you are an autistic person. The difference is subtle but significant in the way you view yourself

 

[SW15]

I'm in the unfortunate position where I'm too young to be her peer, yet too old to be a boytoy thrill.

I'd say that's true for 30+ year old men pursuing older women.

Your closing comment about older men having a hard time finding a younger woman illustrates an interesting paradox: Even though older man/younger woman is more socially acceptable than the type of coupling I want; that doesn't mean it's easy for an older man to find a younger woman.

The typical older man does struggle to get large age gap relationships. The typical man in his 30s and beyond usually ends up dating a woman close to his own age. As an example, it is more difficult for a 40 year old man to have a 22-27 year old girlfriend, so he will typically end up settling for a 35-39 year old girlfriend.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Honestly the amount of rationization and justification you are doing is making me physically sick almost.

It's been a long time since I have seen this many excuses in one thread from the same person.

I'm out. You can't be helped with your current mindset and that's a shame because you are doing to to yourself.

Not to off-rail the topic but I can’t find a better spot to be said:

I also ran out of the emotional and mental energy to help the Correctors of the world solve their issues. They do not have the initiative to go through the failures and battles of the daily grind and instead, come here for people to validate their irrational thoughts and sympathize for their struggles. At the same time, I think they avoid reading the core material necessary to be successful with women in order to not be accountable for their mistakes. Working out or exercising is one of the first principles and do they even do this?

Again, they may not like what they have come to understand, but they need to accept rather than deny to move forward with their problems. As men, they should be happy that they have reasons and motivation to build up and improve themselves but I imagine they use this site as a coping mechanism.

Lastly, I have mentioned before that other forums are extremely disrespectful. They would call you an idiot or some sort of derogatory term just for a simple post. However, in this case, some people take the kindness this place has as a weakness, and I actually think they are trolling us all this point and pushed off their friends in real life. (Check how he ignores your posts)

 

[GoodMan32]

I mean whatever you gotta tell yourself. You should be looking at dating younger if anything, not significantly older.

The main issue is you have allowed Autism to define who you are as a person and have incorporated it into your identity.

Instead of a person who happens to have autism, you are an autistic person. The difference is subtle but significant in the way you view yourself

I respect that posters will tell me about certain methods I could use to maximize my odds of getting a woman. I'm willing to consider methods I might have never thought of.

But age preference though? I can't help what I'm into. Yeah, most men prefer younger. But I prefer older.

Just like most men prefer skinny or average-size gals. But there are chubby chasers who exclusively want whales.

Whether it's my age preference or a chubby chaser's size preference, shouldn't we respect a man's preference (even if his preference differs from most)?

As for the spectrum thing, I'm not sure I let it define me to the extent you're making it sound like. I've never even admitted my spectrum status to any woman I've been into. I view my spectrum status as something to hide from the outside world.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I mean whatever you gotta tell yourself. You should be looking at dating younger if anything, not significantly older.

The main issue is you have allowed Autism to define who you are as a person and have incorporated it into your identity.

Instead of a person who happens to have autism, you are an autistic person. The difference is subtle but significant in the way you view yourself

yeah i think what would help the OP, is if there are any positive success stories of men with autism being able to attract women and get girlfriends. Yes, women with autism will obviously for all time, won't have dating difficulties like men with autism will, should be obvious.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I respect that posters will tell me about certain methods I could use to maximize my odds of getting a woman. I'm willing to consider methods I might have never thought of.

But age preference though? I can't help what I'm into. Yeah, most men prefer younger. But I prefer older.

Just like most men prefer skinny or average-size gals. But there are chubby chasers who exclusively want whales.

Whether it's my age preference or a chubby chaser's size preference, shouldn't we respect a man's preference (even if his preference differs from most)?

As for the spectrum thing, I'm not sure I let it define me to the extent you're making it sound like. I've never even admitted my spectrum status to any woman I've been into. I view my spectrum status as something to hide from the outside world.

If it doesn't define you then why do you use it as an excuse every opportunity you get?

 

[BaronOfHair]

However, it can be an interesting life experience to have sex with an attractive, much older woman (think 33-44) while he's still in his late teens/early 20s for a short period of time

Most of us had a romp with a real life Mrs Robinson, when we were in our teens-early 20s. OP is a man in his 30s though... That s-it ain't cool anymore

 

[BaronOfHair]

Umm, but I prefer the moms of these 21 year olds

Analogy: There's no shortage of people in the world who are sexually attracted to 6 year olds and farm animals, yet who've learned to NOT follow through on those cravings, then gone on to have fulfilling sex lives with adult humans. You can, in a similar fashion, have unions with women your own age and younger, despite this bizarre fetish for geriatric chicks

 

[BaronOfHair]

There is a website called CougarLife, which is supposed to match cougars and cubs....

The gynocentric social order in Western nations does give older men a rough time for dating substantially younger women

Let's not supply him with any more outs or excuses, for God's sakes. He's already adept at doing so himself

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Rain,
"I also ran out of the emotional and mental energy to help the Correctors of the world solve their issues. They do not have the initiative to go through the failures and battles of the daily grind and instead, come here for people to validate their irrational thoughts and sympathize for their struggles."....It took me several years to work this out....The crazy thing is when in their phantasies,when their objectives seem within reach,they find some overarching reason why they shouldn't persist....Are they really happy in their maudlin life?.... You have me wondering where you will be when you are my age?Maybe a silent order,somewhere in the Arizona badlands? LOL.

 

[corrector]

As for my odds of getting laid at my current age, I thought of one silver lining (as far as my looks). Even though (after seeing what I look like), your assessment of me is average, it's worth keeping in mind that I prefer a significantly older woman.

I imagine an older woman would compare me to men in her age bracket. Even if my looks are average for a man in his early 30s, I'd still look like a young stud to a 50 year old woman, compared to men her age (at least I certainly hope I look better than the typical 50 year old man).

I'm pretty sure that's how I got my affair with the 45 year old married woman back when I was 23. Even an average-looking 23 year old was leaps and bounds better than her 50 year old husband.

Then one silver lining about the creepiness thing: In addition to your comment that I don't look like a creepster, I have a story from this past Halloween. I dressed up as a TV character (for privacy reasons, I don't want to say who). One of the managers at my work said I had that character down to a tee, with the exception of one thing: She said that TV character is creepy, but I'm not creepy.

Why I was unanimously viewed as a creep in high school, yet apparently not by that manager in my office, I'm not quite sure. It's certainly a good sign, however.

Did you ask the manager out?

 

[GoodMan32]

If it doesn't define you then why do you use it as an excuse every opportunity you get?

I only use it as an excuse anonymously in private.

 

[GoodMan32]

Analogy: There's no shortage of people in the world who are sexually attracted to 6 year olds and farm animals, yet who've learned to NOT follow through on those cravings, then gone on to have fulfilling sex lives with adult humans. You can, in a similar fashion, have unions with women your own age and younger, despite this bizarre fetish for geriatric chicks

You're seriously comparing pedophilia and animal sex with a preference for 45+ year old women?

A man my age having sex with a 45+ year old woman isn't illegal. Pedophilia and animal sex are illegal (for good reason).

45 is nowhere near geriatric by the way.

 

[GoodMan32]

Did you ask the manager out?

No I did not. I know I shared the story from 2021 (where I flirted with a new girl at work because her excellent backside got the best of me). As a rule of thumb though, I refrain from making moves on any coworkers (don't sh1t where you eat).

 

[BaronOfHair]

You're seriously comparing pedophilia and animal sex with a preference for 45+ year old women?

Point is we all have urges to behave in ways which are bizarre or/and unwise sometimes: The power to NOT act on every urge we have, and to instead exercise rational thought, is what separates us humans from the animals. I realize that such an observation is, in these Woke times we inhabit, considered "speicist" to utter out loud... Alas, it's true

The energy you're expending on concocting rationalizations for going on the way you have is energy that can be spent pursuing women in their early 20--your own age bracket