The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[narcissist]

Day 5. Feel good today. Did about 6-7 approaches.

 

[narcissist]

Sounds like the milk went bad Narcissist. Like you said she got the taste of thinking she was higher value than you and didnt want to go back to the way things were.

I hate to say it but once the milk goes bad you can never fix it. Channel your time, energy and resources into the next one. Focus on yourself.

Exactly.

 

[narcissist]

Day 6.

 

[narcissist]

Nothing interesting really. "Hi, how are you, I Hope you are fine" etc. BS

When we broke up I told her to contact me during her trip abroad to wrote her experience etc. (It was just cordial BS to split in civil manner, I knew she won't contact me when abroad and she didn't).

She contacted me after she came back to the city. IDGAF really. I wrote her couple cordial lines and wished her good day. I don't plan to contact her again, she phucked it up, it's not my mess to clean.

Did you reply this time?

 

[MacXD]

Does the no contact rule only apply with ex girlfriends or can it be used to make a girl you like miss you?

 

[bcude]

Does the no contact rule only apply with ex girlfriends or can it be used to make a girl you like miss you?

As a general rule yes, but it also depends on what kind of impression you made during contact. If she invested emotions and feelings, if you sparked the attraction then she will miss you. A little absence only makes the heart grow fonder. You should be living a busy life going after your goals anyway so you won't have the time to attend to her all the time naturally.

 

[dude99]

Does the no contact rule only apply with ex girlfriends or can it be used to make a girl you like miss you?

It is for you to heal. It is for you to move on. Either from an ex or a friend, what ever you want to call her, but the point is your healing. Not a tool to manipulate someone else.

 

[MacXD]

As a general rule yes, but it also depends on what kind of impression you made during contact. If she invested emotions and feelings, if you sparked the attraction then she will miss you. A little absence only makes the heart grow fonder. You should be living a busy life going after your goals anyway so you won't have the time to attend to her all the time naturally.

Thanks bcude. That's exactly my aim but not sure if she'll be the one to initiate contact. I made the mistake of constantly texting her on a daily basis and believe I came across needy. So I'm trying to break that and haven't contacted her for 3 weeks.

Oh and I can't ask her out on a date. She lives abroad. If she doesn't get in contact it's not the end of the world.

 

[narcissist]

So weird but Im feeling great. Spinning plates is a sure fire way to get over a break up.

 

[goodbyehorses]

So weird but Im feeling great. Spinning plates is a sure fire way to get over a break up.

Absolutely right!

Day 25.

Yesterday and today I am feeling better, maybe due to the fact I'm going to have lunch with this girl I like a lot! And tomorrow I'm spending time with the other chick. Moreover, yesterday 'she' watched my stories again. Is it so boring her time abroad? This morning I went for a run after two months without exercise, it felt great. Keep moving on brothers!

 

[narcissist]

Day 7. Have a date tonight with a cutie. Feeling good. Forgot my wallet at work and so I cant go to school today (no way of commuting)... this is a bummer. My house is tainted and I do not want to be home.

 

[narcissist]

Today sucked fcking d1ck.

Missed school, got flaked on last minute, kind of ruined the plate by basically telling her to stop messaging me and wasting my time, and broke nofap.

Feel like sh1t.

 

[DelayedGratification]

Today sucked fcking d1ck.

Missed school, got flaked on last minute, kind of ruined the plate by basically telling her to stop messaging me and wasting my time, and broke nofap.

Feel like sh1t.

Just keep on keepin' on. I've been in a crap headspace since Monday morning, no single concrete reason I can point to. Just a bunch of little setbacks, headwinds, all on top of some additional life responsibilities that will get better in a couple of weeks but in the meantime it's a slog.

The reason spinning plates helps you heal faster is that it simply gives you something to look forward to again, rather than looking backward. So do something---anything---that gives you something to look forward to.

For me, I have my first piano-karaoke meetup in two days. Last week I got early access to concert tix for a group I really like, so I bought two tickets and now I have something forward to with my GF. Unfortunately the latter won't pay off until December, but the act of planning and purchasing was worth a few days of glow in the moment.

Forward. Onward. Self care.

 

[narcissist]

Day 8.

 

[narcissist]

Day 9.

 

[narcissist]

My ex girlfriend was supposed to pick up her sh!t this week and drop off my sh!t, but she hasn't. It's slightly annoying because I want to cut all ties and all potential contact with her, so that I know for sure I won't be bumping into her. She is supposed to drop it off while I am not home and give it to my roommate but nothing has happened this week *rolls eyes*

Also I bumped into her friend at school yesterday. Actually it was a slightly odd situation. I was talking to my friend and her friend came up to me (I didn't even notice her) and she was acting really friendly to me (my friend even made a comment about it after she left). I played it off cool and was cordial and friendly. But she gave me a really tight hug when she left. I do feel as though she was gauging to see if I was affected by the break up or not so that she can relay that information back to my ex *double eye roll*

Oh well. I can't wait until I get my sh!t back and I know for a fact that she won't be coming to my house ever again.

 

[bcude]

My ex girlfriend was supposed to pick up her sh!t this week and drop off my sh!t, but she hasn't. It's slightly annoying because I want to cut all ties and all potential contact with her, so that I know for sure I won't be bumping into her. She is supposed to drop it off while I am not home and give it to my roommate but nothing has happened this week *rolls eyes*

Also I bumped into her friend at school yesterday. Actually it was a slightly odd situation. I was talking to my friend and her friend came up to me (I didn't even notice her) and she was acting really friendly to me (my friend even made a comment about it after she left). I played it off cool and was cordial and friendly. But she gave me a really tight hug when she left. I do feel as though she was gauging to see if I was affected by the break up or not so that she can relay that information back to my ex *double eye roll*

Oh well. I can't wait until I get my sh!t back and I know for a fact that she won't be coming to my house ever again.

Keeping the stuff can be a way to have a hook on you. On the contrary if she's really eager to drop the stuff she's really done done with you. Just as a general observation. But maybe she's just busy and will do it next week. Or if you commanded her to drop it off this week she's trying to demonstrate power by doing it when she feels for it.

 

[narcissist]

Keeping the stuff can be a way to have a hook on you. On the contrary if she's really eager to drop the stuff she's really done done with you. Just as a general observation. But maybe she's just busy and will do it next week. Or if you commanded her to drop it off this week she's trying to demonstrate power by doing it when she feels for it.

Yeah, I did tell her that I wanted her to drop it off this week and to respect that, which she said she would, but she obviously didn't. Just another piece of evidence that this relationship is beyond repair. I am so glad to be out of it. Truly. Not just saying that to make myself feel or look better.

 

[goodbyehorses]

Day 28.

Last 2-3 days have been tough. I knew from her friend (I didn't ask though) that she got fired and came back in town some days ago (when she watched my stories again she was already here). It's funny, because in my last message I wrote that I believed she would do great abroad, 'because you're great and beautiful and you will do well', something like that. I was so wrong, she is much worse than that, I guess it was my love writing... She got fired for not showing at work sometimes and going to work with hangover some other At least this is what she told to her friends, so I think there's even more s**t she didn't tell.

Now she has to pay back a great amount of money because she lost her scholaship, and her family isn't rich, so it's a very bad moment for her. Her friends are going to collect money to help her. This feels so bad because I sincerely care for her. But I am not going to do anything, not even wish her a happy birthday, which is soon. I'm having a hard time, I feel a lot of anxiety and mixed emotions, but she doesn't deserve my help and my affection right now, at least until she will understand her mistakes and be willing to cope, which won't happen.

 

[narcissist]

Day 10