Originally posted by PlayerinTraining
Now really, if you REALLY cared about someone, would YOU let work get in the way?
Considering how we know women desire a relationship with a man more than anything, this stunt by her is a bunch of BS. She just doesn't have the guts to break up with you.
You have the right idea about not calling her. And I'd avoid hanging out with her and her friends from now on. You need to find better things to do than to waste time on someone who doesn't have at least equal concern for you as you do for her.
In the case SHE ASKS why you don't see her anymore, I'd say:
"Hey, you told me that work is more important to you right now than I am. I don't know about you, but I know that I would not trade work over a relationship with someone who I deeply cared about.
I doubt that 50 years from now, I'm going to say 'Gee, you know, I really wish I spent more time at the office.'
I'm pretty sure you have reasons I don't know about for doing what it is you are doing. Whatever they are, it doesn't matter--I have no desire to know them. You want your space, you can have all of the space you want. Just realize that WHEN you change your mind, and figure yout you made a mistake in choosing work over me, I won't be waiting to take you back. I hope you enjoy your work. Good luck."
P.I.T., good point, and thanks to everyone else. but let's say I tried this angle and told her all that, more or less...
I am almost 99.9% sure she is being truthful in the fact that she is truly busy with her career. both our careers are important to us, maybe hers a bit more because she is less established and basically has just started out in the last year. she's told me in the past that her industry is her life and what she lives for. I don't know if I explained this, but her job is contract work oriented, so she doesn't have a regular, set schedule and is at the mercy of whenever the clients call. sometimes she has to make trips out of town for a few days. and lately she has been double booked, or so she says, and she tells me that is the reason for her BS in the first place, supposedly. another excuse she's thrown at me is that she's moving into a much cheaper place this month. so apparently the amount of time it takes to pack up a really small, 1-bedroom apt. worth of stuff takes 3-4 weeks.
so anyway... my point is, don't you think that it's a little selfish to try and place me over somebody's career? or in simpler words, demand that someone's way of earning a living/income take a back seat to a relationship? don't get me wrong, I don't want to cave in to her and I'm trying to be fair at the least...to see things from both sides. I would never let somebody try and pull that kind of crap on me, and I'm sure most of you wouldn't either. if someone told me to work less/earn less income just so they could be the #1 focus in my life, there's no way in hell I could do that right now - well, perhaps if I
truly loved that person and she
truly loved me.
so thinking out loud some more here....this new place she's moving in to - it's a lot cheaper rent, so technically she doesn't have to work as much, she's even told me this herself. but there's another thing that sort of rubs me the wrong way - the new place she's moving into is some guy's house, whom I've never met let alone know nothing about. apparently this guy is out of town all week except weekends, and she is just renting out a room. obviously that situation doesn't sit quite right with me. he works in the same industry as her, and I've seen and met enough guys from that industry to know that most of them are raging-alcoholic, chauvanistic, lying @ssholes in varying degrees. so that is in the back of my mind right now...
this morning, I am fairly certain that I've come to a resolution on what I plan to do - so whenever we talk again, I am basically going tell her if she wants to be with me, she would find a way to make time for me, then I'll put her on the spot right then and there and ask her to simply tell me if she's in or out. and I pretty much know that she will probably say, "I can't." I will then ask her right back, "You can't or you WON'T?" ultimatums are harsh I know, but I feel that it's the only way I can resolve this....
holla back if you have any more advice.
