Why Women Mention Other Men Even IF They Are Interested in You!

stonedface

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Hello everyone! I am rather new here. Just wanna ask this:

What if the girl knows that you are interested in her from your actions and you ask the girl if she has a boyfriend and she says no, but she says she has a close male friend whom she always goes camping with one on one, and after further probing, she gets extremely evasive, dismissing that they were just normal friends, changes the topic and gets a bit irritated. What does that mean?

Grateful for any comments.
 

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by stonedface:
Hello everyone! I am rather new here. Just wanna ask this:

What if the girl knows that you are interested in her from your actions and you ask the girl if she has a boyfriend and she says no, but she says she has a close male friend whom she always goes camping with one on one, and after further probing, she gets extremely evasive, dismissing that they were just normal friends, changes the topic and gets a bit irritated. What does that mean?

Grateful for any comments.
You can't rely on anyone picking up on signals or understanding the meaning of your actions. I've found out after someone has liked me for a very long time and honestly had no idea at all they liked me. Women are very different than men when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex. Since we usually don't realize that a guy who makes friends with us probably wants to either get involved with us or sleep with us we very often don't notice the signals. If you want her to know for sure, you are going to have to be pretty overt about it. Just ask her out. If she doesn't say yes then she isn't interested.
 

sillyandy

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It's funny I found this thread because I'm in the exact situation, where I'm friends with this girl, but I'm trying to see if she's interested in me. We talk a lot, and sometimes when I ask her how's she doing at work, she brings up how some co-workers of hers hit on her all the time, and how she doesn't like that. I don't know if she's throwing hints at me to make a move at her already, or if she merely wants me to listen to her problems the way a close friend would.
 

BGMan

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Originally posted by Wyldfire:
Women are very different than men when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex. Since we usually don't realize that a guy who makes friends with us probably wants to either get involved with us or sleep with us we very often don't notice the signals.
One thing that you should avoid is becoming "friends" with a girl you're interested in. This is a big AFC mistake (and one that I have done in the past). Now, I have some female friends, but they're the kind that I wouldn't go out with. If I think a girl is hot, I don't become her friend. I act rather flirty and evasive, then at some point I ask for her number. Works like a charm.

Sillyandy:
Oh oh. BAD. You're "friends". It's possible she could just be spilling her guts on you, but she could be interested.

Here's what you should do: Pull away, don't talk to her as much, be more mysterious (a Challenge, as Doc Love would say). She'll be intrigued if she has any interest at all. Eventually, ask for her # or a date. That should solve your problem.


BGMan
 

badboybaxi

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Ayte what about the case when You do make a move and she says get the hotties out there ?

Jeez this freakin blows!!

I made a move on one girl (who had been givin me +ve signals for a month) in the group of friends . This was a ta club. I go talk to her general wuestions:
like what she'd been up to? how was summer goin sofar...some kino involved.

Then i am like " lets dance "
she goes " No ....go find yourself some nice girls"
I laugh of the rejection " yeah well... I will see ya later "

What the efffffff was all that about?
 

badboybaxi

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double post

[This message has been edited by badboybaxi (edited 08-13-2002).]
 

~The_Chosen~

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Rules girls do this, I know that for sure.

"Oh Billy is so funny sometimes, etc. etc."

"It was so funny that i met Rodney somewhere."

All that BS, but what their target is you, they are trying to use jealousy. I mean if you know the guy, judge his looks and if he's ugly, you'll get at what I mean. Therefore I never let such crap bother me, I instead tell her, "yea talk to him more, sounds like you like him" Then I would start talking about girls I LIKE, that pisses'em off


But what others say, if they are vomitting emotions, ditch the b!tch!

------------------
~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"I never hit a woman with her clothes on!"

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle
 

Cfhellbound

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Why Women Mention Other Men Even IF They Are Interested in You!

After i asked her to hangout.
How about, you know Jim,(no i dont know who f.u.cking Jim is) well im kinda with him, been for a long time(I dont want to know that much), sorry.(just F.u.cking tell me your not interested)


oh oh does that mean the girl is interestedd in me. wyldfire

CFH


[This message has been edited by Cfhellbound (edited 08-21-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Cfhellbound (edited 08-21-2002).]
 

~The_Chosen~

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Originally posted by Cfhellbound:
Why Women Mention Other Men Even IF They Are Interested in You!

After i asked her to hangout.
How about, you know Jim,(no i dont know who f.u.cking Jim is) well im kinda with him, been for a long time(I dont want to know that much), sorry.(just F.u.cking tell me your not interested)


oh oh does that mean the girl is interestedd in me. wyldfire

CFH
What the fvck is your problem newb?



------------------
~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"I never hit a woman with her clothes on!"

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle
 

Cfhellbound

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ive changed my username, im not a ****ing newb, so dont open your mouth unless you know who your talking to. By the way its a joke.


CFH

F.U.C.K YOU DIP****
 

Dee-Zy

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Originally posted by Pook
Real men do not analyze the woman. If she is single, and he wants her, he should go after her no matter what sign she displays.

But since we are talking about signs, we are entering the bizzarre realm of ********!

Bold will be the WHOA-man. Italics will the ******** Translator. Regular Text will be what Da pooky is saying.

NOTE: For the below to be true, the conversation must be one on one.

Second Note For the below to remain true, the 'examples' MUST be initiated by the WHOA-man.

Let us begin:

My boyfriend came and gave me this AWESOME gift. We're going to New York tomorrow.

It is quite possible that she wants you.

But beware! A girl talking about her boyfriend means, most importantly, that she is taken. However, she may want to be STOLEN.

"Stolen, Pook! What do you mean?"

Gentlemen, it is a fine fact that many woman will not dump one boyfriend until they have a grip on the next. These women would rather be with BOREfriend than to be single. She may very well wish to be stolen.

I love my boyfriend sooo much! Everything in life is so much better with my boyfriend! He makes me feel so warm and fuzzy!

Get away from her; she is vomitting her emotions.

When a woman tells you how she FEELS about the guy, she is either in love or you are low interest or both.

THIS is the crucial difference: when a woman informs you of the actions the boyfriend is taking, she is using social proof (trying to show you that she is in demand). When a woman informs you of her feelings, especially if those feelings are positive of the guy, then there is nothing going on between you.

"Why's that, Pook?"

This should be written in stone: When she does girl-talk, you become her girly-friend.

Girls do not girl-talk their romantic interests.

You should have seen this guy. He came up to me, took my hand, and said, "You are beautiful! Will you go out with me!?"

She wants you to know several things. 1) She is desired. 2) She is beatiful. She wants you to know these things because she wants you to ask her out.

Well said, ******** Translator!

I was placing the tapioca pudding back onto the shelf when I felt someone looking at me. I turned and saw this man checking me out! It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! You hear me? It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Man, it felt good. Oh, you have no idea how good it felt. It felt GOOD. REALLY good. Oh, you don't know how GOOD!"

Although the above is exaggerated [Understatement of the century- Sosuave.com] the point is that the woman is flopping her emotions out. She is not interested. You are in Friend-Zone.

Hellish friend-zone! But the translator is right. The last example had the focus on the GUY and HIS actions. This example has the focus on the WOMAN and HER FEELINGS. You are being used as an emotional tampon here, beware.

My breasts are too big! It hurts my back. It gives me back problems.

It is quite possible she is thinking of you in a sexual way.

Unless you are a doctor, this is good news. [If you are a doctor, it is more money which is better news- Sosuave.com] Women with large breasts are much more comfortable with discussing them (for the large breasts often become the center of attention with most guys). She is most likely aroused. If not, then with her course of current talk she soon will be.

I'm trying on new underwear and seeing how my butt looks! (she squeals in front of the mirror)

She wants you.

She wants you.

She is mentioning her butt (she wants you to notice it!), and she is mentioning her underwear (she is comfortable talking about it to you).

When a woman likes you, she will try to show off her body (and when a woman does not like you, she will try to hide her body). This example is the woman showing off her body through words.

Are you gay?

Well? ARE YOU?

If you really are fruity, you will be asked this. Other guys should have asked this to you if you really are fruity (and with threats to back it up).

But let us try this again.

Are you gay?

Why won't you go out with me (or anyone)?

If you happened to be handsome or really cute, girls will try to go out with you. If you say no (haha!), she will think to herself, "All these girls want to go out with him and he won't go out with any of them. What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY!?"

Girls wondering if you're gay can be the ultimate compliment. Think. They are already thinking of you in a sexual context. They want you to go out with them. When you don't, they ask the gay question.

(Remember, guys, when Adonis, the style master, got asked the "Are you gay?" question? Although gay guys can and do dress stylishly, the woman wants to know if you are gay or not BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU.)

Ahh, another ******** lesson is over with. Join us again next time on the same forum, same host, and same website.

Oh, and excellent job, translator!

Why, thank you Pook.

And remember guys, if you go 'sign reading', the best guide is your gut.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"The biggest risk you can take is not to risk at all."
Wholy shit!!! That was a fucking classic!!!

I'm printing this out.
 

DJ Wez

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Dayam, Wildfire...

I've read posts in the past that advise the other DJs here to NEVER pick up any advice from other women about, but after reading your articulate--and very true--messages you convey to us, I must say that you are the deviant to the norm.

Good job. You're one fvcking wise lady.
 

JUST ME

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bump

more opinions! great thread. ladies? guys? have girls do this? then you find out she was interested?
 

Dilly

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This post Help's a Newbie

This post has been very rewarding and enlightening for me, a new Don Juan "student". I am currently in a situation that can be related to this. Simply: Met great girl in class start of year, "kino" and eye contact (I didn't even know this method, and was using it naturally without noticing...) occurs. Feeling the chemistry. All goes from there. I got a home number, it's sometimes a wating game.

Trust me or not, girls do use the "This cute guy I saw" thingy a fair bit if they are interested. They make you make a move, because naturally in most cases a guy will be kind of forced to take action...no one want's their target girl being stolen. As long as you follow the advice left by the other knowledgeable members and your enhanced Don Juan manly instincts, little bad can occur!
 

Wyldfire

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Kicking this up to the top after being reminded of it during a conversation with syncmaster. I think it'll be useful to some guys and I don't think it's been posted on for a couple of years.
 

Jariel

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It's interesting to read this. I took a girl out on a date last month and she kept talking about other guys she fancies. I figured she was an attention wh0re, so I made an excuse to cut the date short, nexted her and haven't spoken to her since.

Maybe I overreacted, but I found it extremely disrespectful.
 

arutha

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I'm not going to quote Pook's post again, because it is very long, but...


Often people have mentioned how she talks about the bf to tell if shes interested or not, ie. if its actions, then its social proof, if its feelings then shes hooked in him.

What if she doesn't talk about him to you at all? I mean even when you subtly probe, she won't ever mention being with him or whatever. And when the fact is finally revealed, she says 'she didn't want to ***** about him around me, because I was different, she had other friends who she *****ed to about him.'

Some might say that means make a move, yup tried that. 'Oh I have a bf' followed by the above stuff.

Maybe she was just playing hard to get? Any opinions? Wyldefire?
 

Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by Raoul
It's nothing but BRAGGING. It's her way of trying to put a guy back in his place...at the foot of her pedestal, so to speak.

DJ's use social proof to elevate their status in other women's eyes. It is a subtle form of showing that we are in demand, that we are worth something, and that there IS competition for us. I, and I'm sure many others here, do NOT tell a chick outright that "Hey, so-and-so has been pestering me for a date" or "so-and-so always calls me and asks me out". Not only is that silly it's just not classy.

If a chick keeps banging on about this guy who wants to date her, and that guy who always calls for a date, she's doing nothing but trying to brag about a probably non-existent social situation. Her interest level in you is low.

- Raoul
I agree with you. I have seen girls bragging all the time: "Oh this guy was in love with me!", "Oh everybody hit on me all the time", "He's jealous of me" and so on.

This is annoying. For instance, you don't need to say you are good all the time. The more you say you're good, the higher the chances you are not.

Originally posted by Jariel
It's interesting to read this. I took a girl out on a date last month and she kept talking about other guys she fancies. I figured she was an attention wh0re, so I made an excuse to cut the date short, nexted her and haven't spoken to her since.

Maybe I overreacted, but I found it extremely disrespectful.
You did it right Jariel; you nexted her right off the bat. :up:
If you pay attention, both yours and Raoul's post are related!

Don't waste your time with Aws.
 
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If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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