I know you've explained before how a lot of so-called "free" sex is really paid for indirectly.
As shocking as this might sound (for a guy with all my baggage), however, a lot of the "free" sex I've had really was 100% free. Here's where it gets even more shocking: Broads would drive to come bang me when I was in college. No date required. All I had to do was post Craigslist ads...and then the fish would bite.
my strategy back then got me a decent amount of one night stands
It's possible to get occasional low cost sex for a minimal indirect price for most middle of the bell curve men.
The problem for a lot of men is that there's a lack of sustainability with trying to get low cost sex. You've been trying to operate like a top tier SMV man (aka 'Chad') and get low cost sex. A top tier man (85th-90th percentile +) offers enough to get women for lower costs and can get consistent short term sex. You're somewhere in the middle of the bell curve and you don't offer enough to get consistent short term sex for a low cost in conventional dating.
Posting a Craigslist ad and getting 1-2 instances of sex from it from any given woman (likely from a subpar to mediocre woman) isn't that great of an accomplishment and you can't get that style of sex with any regularity.
I ran into the problem you pointed out: Hard time getting consistent lays from the same woman.
9 free partners and 17 lays averages out to a little less than 2 lays per woman.
The best strategy for a middle of the bell curve SMV man is to find a way to get consistent lays from the same woman.
I know some married people who likely have never directly paid for sex and gotten all their sex from conventional dating. These are men who likely have had less than 9 sexual partners. From each of their partners, they likely averaged over 100 instances of sex per woman.
If a man makes an effort to get sustainable sex, he's happy with getting a 2 year relationship with her and having sex with her on 200+ separate days with her.
Serial monogamists are pretty good at getting sustainable sex but might have some small droughts between relationships.
It's one thing if the man and woman already knew each other (and were possibly even friends) before the 1st date. In that case, they might become/remain platonic friends if the 1st date is a failure.
In cases where the woman didn't know you (or barely knew you) before the 1st date, however, if there weren't enough sparks to get a 2nd date, she's not going to want to be friends either.
It's possible for a man and a woman to be friends after a failed first date if that dates was arranged from having common real life acquaintances. Perhaps they met at a backyard barbecue or other private residence party within that social circle. They might not be the closest friends, but they could stay friends. I see that as realistic.
If a man is arranging his first dates from approaching strangers in non-bar venues, approaching strangers in bars, using swipe apps, or sending random DMs on social media platforms, then his process is different. When this man has a failed first dates, the interaction typically ceases and both people move on with their lives as if that one unpleasant date day/date night never happened. There is no future interaction.
The interaction either ends with a ghosting/flaking or a woman sending a "I had a good time but do not see this going anywhere" type text message.
