What would you estimate your rejection rate is?

[Isildur1]

That's fascinating to hear the broads are a lot easier in Shanghai and Brazil.

Less competition in those cities in terms of men - far less , lower incomes , worse education, worse looks wise and less height ( in terms of China) so obviously rejection rate for an average western guy is far lower than in a western city

I don’t see the Broads as “easier” I just think they have a lot less options than in the west

 

[Isildur1]

Even a sexless first date that never leads to a 2nd date still counts as a success.

Yeah - I’d define that as a success in my books or at least that there was interest

some girls are just too conservative to **** quick or can change their mind on the date itself- which is understandable or the chemistry might not be there , there are many variables in dating and many opportunities for f ups a lot of which is out of your control

Only Things you’re in control of is your volume , smv , mood and amount of options whatever the woman’s ideology , opinions on sex or mood on the date is obviously out of my control

 

[BaronOfHair]

On the general topic of rejection vs success, a female coworker gave a clue she finds me attractive today... She then said "There's an employee here whose first name is your middle name. He isn't attractive at all. You don't want anyone to mix you up with him. I recommend you remove your middle name from your email signature"

The fella you're referring to had a pint of battery acid thrown in his face by his own father at aged 16, when dear ol'dad found him and The FedEx guy in bed together... She finds you attractive, only by comparison to Lon Chaney 2.0 here

Which is similar to having your teeth knocked out with a lead pipe by an enforcer from The Serbian Mafia, after he forces you to choose between that and having your back broken, then mistaking this for "The deal of a lifetime"

 

[BaronOfHair]

It is easy to just give up rather than go through all that with nothing to show for it - such non-stop rejection eventually wears down the soul

It can also prompt one to say to himself: "Since I'm not getting what I desire, what behaviors do I need to alter or/and eliminate, in order to do so? What new skills do I need to acquire and practice?"

Same way moving ahead in our career often requires us to spend less time playing Fortnite, and more time reading Pfeffer's "Power" and Posner and Kouzes's "The Leadership Challenge", then practicing what we learn. We may even have to rid ourselves of folks who have no desire to get further ahead themselves, and who are dragging us down along with them

 

[RangerMIke]

High... likely 85% rejection rate. But I approach any woman I am attracted too. Which means, most likely, other men are going to be interested as well so there will be serious competition. You have to remember that more than half the women you approach, you have zero shot since they are already in relationships and/or otherwise not available. Then she has to actually be attracted to you, means you have something she wants (looks. money. status), again, more than have the women you approach, and is available, are not going to be attracted to you. The every best any man can have, if they approach any woman, they are attracted is you have a 25% chance, or 1 in 4 that you can actually get out on a date.

You can improve your percentage if you only approach women who are giving you clear indicators of interest and you know for sure they are available. But if you are an approach machine, your rejection rate will be very high... but remember that has NOTHING to do with you... it's all on her.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You have to remember that more than half the women you approach, you have zero shot since they are already in relationships and/or otherwise not available. Then she has to actually be attracted to you...

And if one resides in any major metropolitan area within The Anglosphere, a substantial portion of the female population will be up on the Non-Binary bandwagon, contemplating a sex change, or in the midst of DEtransitioning from the change they already underwent

 

[New_Journey]

Some guy on here was telling me 90% of men get rejected 90% of the time.

I'd say the topic warrants a thread of its own.

Although I admit I could be wrong, I have my doubts about his claim. As a man who's been rejected over 90% of the time (and has extremely low self-esteem because of it), I was under the impression a lot of men have rejection rates closer to 50/50.

So I'd like to hear everyone's input.

Men have higher rejection rates cause most of them are unattractive, have no game and want to get with women "out of their league"

To improve that, men must become attractive, test for interest like chatting, asking interesting questions and being able to read hidden signals that she's interested, no being a socially awkward guy asking out every woman he sees.

 

[GoodMan32]

Wow. That is bizarre, and really puts into issue work dynamics. An ugly old lady working at an office (ie you are not even slightly attracted to...so that has to be bad since you mentioned you like older woman, and are not picky at all), to look down on another guy like that (ie which is probably her looksmatch, but thinks you are okay...have a bigger SMV than she does so she's more entitled to you?) just shows how bad everything is even on the dating market.

Unless this guy made a creep-move or something like that, it is hard to see why everyone is that down on him, to even have a reputation, simply because of how he looks. You would think even an old and ugly woman would be a "safe base" with him and she is the one that said that.

Well, it means you are attractive to women you don't like at least? What about the woman who you ARE attracted to? Do they also like you like this lady does or do you think it's because you have a way higher SMV than she does, that you just have a "bubble" with this lady.

I don't know the guy she called ugly very well. But from working with him all this time, I haven't noticed any specific creepy behavior from him.

He's way younger than her by the way. He's 25.

As for your question of whether broads I am attracted to are into me, all the other workplace stories I've shared on here (of broads expressing possible interest in me), I've been attracted to the broad at least on some level.

 

[GoodMan32]

Rejection rate is 100%. Asked one girl out this year, got rejected. Therefore, one attempt, one rejection, 100%.

Then I guess there is the saying, is you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Guess that doesn't help either, but maybe that can also contribute to the rejection rate as well. On the other hand, there is no negative fall-out from that rejection, so it doesn't really mean anything.

I do have a score metrix that takes into account how women are responding to me in the environment (ie conferences, work, public, it has to be a strong enough interaction where I can remember the lady's name) and have a range of this matrix between - 10 to + 10. Last check it was somewhere between 0 to -1. It doesn't factor in if I actually ask anyone out, but looks at other things which either help or hurt the ego as a whole. You could feel good or bad depending within an environment regardless of if you ask anyone out or not. I mean, if you feel bad or intimidated to ask anyone out, then you could argue that a non-verbal rejection, or generally feeling you are not attractive/unwelcome might just come like rejection in and of itself.

I suppose the definition of rejection is fluid, yeah. I've had broads give a disgusted reaction when they've caught me doing a checkout. Even if I hadn't officially told her I'm into her, the checkout made it clear I am (and her disgusted reaction made it clear the feeling isn't mutual). Some might call that a rejection.

As for you, I recommend the business card idea I'm using. I know some posters on here criticize the idea. But for the type of guy who doesn't have much luck with the ladies (in other words, us), the business cards couldn't hurt.

 

[GoodMan32]

Less competition in those cities in terms of men - far less , lower incomes , worse education, worse looks wise and less height ( in terms of China) so obviously rejection rate for an average western guy is far lower than in a western city

I don’t see the Broads as “easier” I just think they have a lot less options than in the west

I suppose one major thing that could benefit an outsider in China: If even 1% of local broads are into non-Chinese men, you have a humongous in with those broads (because she doesn't have very many other non-Chinese men to pick from)

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah - I’d define that as a success in my books or at least that there was interest

some girls are just too conservative to **** quick or can change their mind on the date itself- which is understandable or the chemistry might not be there , there are many variables in dating and many opportunities for f ups a lot of which is out of your control

Only Things you’re in control of is your volume , smv , mood and amount of options whatever the woman’s ideology , opinions on sex or mood on the date is obviously out of my control

A coworker who knows I wish broads came onto me more often has an interesting theory of why it doesn't happen more often:

He said "Because of your conservative appearance, many a woman, even if she's attracted to you, probably thinks you don't appreciate overly frisky behavior from a woman"

 

[GoodMan32]

The fella you're referring to had a pint of battery acid thrown in his face by his own father at aged 16, when dear ol'dad found him and The FedEx guy in bed together... She finds you attractive, only by comparison to Lon Chaney 2.0 here

Which is similar to having your teeth knocked out with a lead pipe by an enforcer from The Serbian Mafia, after he forces you to choose between that and having your back broken, then mistaking this for "The deal of a lifetime"

Or more likely: She simply doesn't find Mexican men attractive.

For that matter, his first name is really the Hispanic version of my middle name. But he goes by the English version to sound more American.

The guy she called ugly is 25 (much younger than her) and has a wife. Clearly the wife finds him attractive.

As for me, even though I'm straight, I sometimes think men have good looks. White men are the men I find to be good-looking at the highest rate (although there have been instances where I've found a Mexican man to be good-looking)

My preferences in men make sense. We're biologically programmed to be most attracted to our own people. White broads are the broads I find attractive at the highest rate; it's no surprise the same would be true when I'm judging men.

 

[GoodMan32]

High... likely 85% rejection rate. But I approach any woman I am attracted too. Which means, most likely, other men are going to be interested as well so there will be serious competition. You have to remember that more than half the women you approach, you have zero shot since they are already in relationships and/or otherwise not available. Then she has to actually be attracted to you, means you have something she wants (looks. money. status), again, more than have the women you approach, and is available, are not going to be attracted to you. The every best any man can have, if they approach any woman, they are attracted is you have a 25% chance, or 1 in 4 that you can actually get out on a date.

You can improve your percentage if you only approach women who are giving you clear indicators of interest and you know for sure they are available. But if you are an approach machine, your rejection rate will be very high... but remember that has NOTHING to do with you... it's all on her.

I get your general point.

But if the guy has enough swagger/looks/status, a woman will bang him, even if she's taken.

For example, many a woman would cheat on her boyfriend/husband if the following guy made a move on her at the height of his football career:

 

[GoodMan32]

Men have higher rejection rates cause most of them are unattractive, have no game and want to get with women "out of their league"

To improve that, men must become attractive, test for interest like chatting, asking interesting questions and being able to read hidden signals that she's interested, no being a socially awkward guy asking out every woman he sees.

I have good looks and have been known to dip below my league.

Yet look what that's gotten me.

 

[corrector]

I suppose the definition of rejection is fluid, yeah. I've had broads give a disgusted reaction when they've caught me doing a checkout. Even if I hadn't officially told her I'm into her, the checkout made it clear I am (and her disgusted reaction made it clear the feeling isn't mutual). Some might call that a rejection.

As for you, I recommend the business card idea I'm using. I know some posters on here criticize the idea. But for the type of guy who doesn't have much luck with the ladies (in other words, us), the business cards couldn't hurt.

The two venues that I have dealt with women are at a Real-Estate Trade Show, where it is customary to exchange cards, and at work, where you are not allowed to give any cards out there.

 

[GoodMan32]

The two venues that I have dealt with women are at a Real-Estate Trade Show, where it is customary to exchange cards, and at work, where you are not allowed to give any cards out there.

I recommend a speed dating event (or if you can bring yourself to go, possibly even a singles mixer). Prime environment to hand out cards.

 

[corrector]

He's way younger than her by the way. He's 25.

A late 50's married lady who look like she's in her 70s, calling a 25 year old ugly and telling you to distance yourself form him, again has to show how crazy entitled women are. This is why the dating market seems very hopeless and why you are hitting a wall too sometimes. The women have too many options and there is a large gap between their perceived value and actual value.

 

[corrector]

I recommend a speed dating event (or if you can bring yourself to go, possibly even a singles mixer). Prime environment to hand out cards.

When I tried speed dating in the 2015 (ie when I was also younger than today by 10 years), they had these cards where you would have to fill out and if there was a match then you would know about it. It was an ego-draining experience. That particular time I had visited a couple of escorts the previous month, and in contrast, that was an ego-boosting experience. The Speed Dating event made me feel worst about myself compared to visiting a couple of escorts on December, 2014.

I also had a date with an Asian lady I met at a business event, but it didn't work out to go anywhere. It looks like I was more active with dating in 2015 (ie this was ironically during a legal seperation of my ex-wife the year before), and things cooled down afterwards. Like you, I think visiting escorts on occasion can act as a catalyst because it shows on some level you really want a woman, and that can sometimes lead to movements where you now find yourself trying to meet more women. As you had mentioned, your free sex came as well when you had been visiting escorts, so you also had short-term confidence boosts by having nice encounters there that spilled over in having free sex with other broads.

The thing is, given today's climate, the war in the Middle East, high cost of living, and fact I believe the end of the world is going to happen very soon and people are preparing for what will be explained as a mass disappearance before all hell breaks lose on here, it is not very motivating for me. I'm already fighting escort/porn and fapping issues, which is a risk in and of itself. I would at least see if we make it to the next year. Suppose we don't make it past the election and something apocalyptic happens between now and before the beginning of next year for example?

 

[GoodMan32]

A late 50's married lady who look like she's in her 70s, calling a 25 year old ugly and telling you to distance yourself form him, again has to show how crazy entitled women are. This is why the dating market seems very hopeless and why you are hitting a wall too sometimes. The women have too many options and there is a large gap between their perceived value and actual value.

Well-said.

Even if I personally agree this guy lacks good looks, it is a tad silly for a woman as old as her (who looks much older than her actual age) to take such a strong stance on how ugly she finds him.

 

[GoodMan32]

When I tried speed dating in the 2015 (ie when I was also younger than today by 10 years), they had these cards where you would have to fill out and if there was a match then you would know about it. It was an ego-draining experience. That particular time I had visited a couple of escorts the previous month, and in contrast, that was an ego-boosting experience. The Speed Dating event made me feel worst about myself compared to visiting a couple of escorts on December, 2014.

I also had a date with an Asian lady I met at a business event, but it didn't work out to go anywhere. It looks like I was more active with dating in 2015 (ie this was ironically during a legal seperation of my ex-wife the year before), and things cooled down afterwards. Like you, I think visiting escorts on occasion can act as a catalyst because it shows on some level you really want a woman, and that can sometimes lead to movements where you now find yourself trying to meet more women. As you had mentioned, your free sex came as well when you had been visiting escorts, so you also had short-term confidence boosts by having nice encounters there that spilled over in having free sex with other broads.

The thing is, given today's climate, the war in the Middle East, high cost of living, and fact I believe the end of the world is going to happen very soon and people are preparing for what will be explained as a mass disappearance before all hell breaks lose on here, it is not very motivating for me. I'm already fighting escort/porn and fapping issues, which is a risk in and of itself. I would at least see if we make it to the next year. Suppose we don't make it past the election and something apocalyptic happens between now and before the beginning of next year for example?

I personally am more optimistic about the doomsday scenario. I don't think the world will end.

As for the speed dating event you attended, the format is the same as the format @SW15 described. Maybe the format has changed across the board since then.

I personally prefer the format of the speed dating event you attended. Yeah, it could drain your ego if you don't get any matches. But as it is, I ended up with no numbers at this speed dating event. At least if my event had the same format as yours, there's a chance I might have gotten a match.