Advice from the old lady:
Guys. Before you have any interaction whatsoever with women or a woman in particular you need to look in the mirror and check your core belief system.
@Pan87 has a core belief system that ALL women are transactional in relationships and that a eugenics exercise is being promulgated upon society by the elite. Translation: Pan feels powerless in society and unable to control his own destiny and feels used by women so he may as well use the ones he can for his own ends. He has lost faith in humanity and developed a nihilistic view.
I appreciate that and can see that viewpoint. But it is a low value viewpoint lacking personal empowerment. It colors most everything he says here. His content consistently is shaded by that core belief system. As a result his interactions are disappointing to him and he finds all interactions transactional because that is his filter. The reader needs to grasp this.
Similarly but differently
@SW15 has a core belief system that all relationships have a shelf life and that sexual passion dies out in all relationships. He has expressly stated that core belief many times here. Again, content tells you consistently who he is and what he believes. He has issues arising from family of origin pain and does not believe long term (like decades or happy marriage) exists. He is not as nihilistic as Pan but he too experiences disappointment in his interactions. He experiences life through the filter of his core beliefs too.
Guys like OP and
@DonJuanjr are not terribly successful with women but are still young and trying to figure out their own core belief systems.
Gentlemen. You must be mindful who and what you allow to influence you. If you listen to bitter or disappointed men you risk adopting belief systems that will become self fulfilling prophecies. Is bitter and disappointment what you seek? Then do not listen to bitter & disappointed people.
No. This is not the feminine imperative talking.
This is a positive attitude person with a rational mind who is seeing great results according to my core belief system which is rooted in self-improvement, self-actualization, kindness, generosity and a red pill (to use the vernacular) awareness of human nature, social contracts (which certainly exist) and belief in life partnership, intimacy and love.
And guess what. My fiancé shares to a great degree my core belief system!
Water seeks its own level. Your subconscious is going to screen for compatability in core beliefs. If you think all relationships are transactional (for example) you are actively screening for and inviting that energy into your life. So be mindful what core beliefs you allow to take root because your experiences will often follow that belief system.
Until an individual grasps this truth you will bump along in life disappointed and not really know why.
As to your question
@DonJuanjr I understand the social contracts and contexts in dating. I also know men need to invest to feel a bond (so too do women) so I screen for the core belief system being positive and I screen for investment (of time, emotion, sex, money). Now. I only date men for whom I have high interest (otherwise known as sexual desire). I will not waste a man’s time or my time on someone I’ve no interest in. I can buy my own supper.
I do not seek resources or provisioning and I do not look for a monetary transactional exchange. I seek investment in a much broader sense and I tacitly understand and choose men in whom I see the potential to invest in as well. So in the social contract sense all relationships are transactional. Even parent-child and soldier-soldier. But that is much deeper and broader than what Pan routinely describes. Strait up dinner for sex is different than Band of Brothers.
Think on that. Be careful who you allow to influence your thinking.
