what do you guys think about marriage?!

[penkitten]

the best part of the marriage.....
wedding cake mmmmmmmmmmhehhehehehehehheh

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Crank, you got marrried after nine days of meeting a woman? I don't believe this for a second!

What was your motivatiion besides a psychotic delusional episode????? And just as important - what was her motivation???

it was just the natural order of things

 

[WaterTiger]

Hey Crank-It-Up,
Just out of curiosity, how long have you been married to this charming 9 day wonder?

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
Hey Crank-It-Up,
Just out of curiosity, how long have you been married to this charming 9 day wonder?

since 1980

 

[kuntribumkin]

New DJ here, but I can comment on this issue. I think if you are thinking about marriage, you should spend some time on this board, and deffenately read her books.http://www.divorcebusting.com/ I had a "good" marriage, even the marriage counselor said so . Women in their 30's and early 40's go nuts it seems. So in the process of them finding themselves, they destroy families. My marraige is ending due to my wife and I both, but it certainly was her who started us down this dreadfull path. I believe she is doing me a favor, I don't think that for my children however. I make good money and have a nice home, learning to DJ, and getting back in shape. I will have plenty of women I'm sure. I can tell you I won't EVER share my bank accounts or house title with anyone EVER again...except maybe my unmarried children.

 

[dietzcoi]

Hey Kuntribumkin

Your story sounds just like mine...

Welcome to the board. We could use some people who have had the fairy tale blow up in their faces. Maybe the younger guys will listen...

Handing over your wallet and your future to some female... how stupid could we have been???

How many rich women marry an unemployed loser and hand over their wallets? Not many... but they expect us to...

Never Again!

Dietzcoi

 

[OzzyBoy]

I wouldn't mind getting married in the next few years time but i think i would definately leave having children for probably a few years after getting married.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

For today's dangerous women a man needs the protection of a prenuptial agreement! - especially if she is much younger!

 

[WestCoaster]

Hey WaterTiger ...

... I'm going to be in the Bay Area in mid-July for vacation. Wanna meet at Starbucks for a coffee?

And I'm serious.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I live pretty far away from the Bay, so if you're too overwhelmed by my DJ skills, I'm soon gone!

I know fellas, this isn't a dating service, but what the heck. WaterTiger has been dissing me for such a long time I gotta meet her. Was going to a Giants' game anyway, might as well meet.

Plus, all that hard-edged banter has me intrigued ... must be her reverse DJism working on me.

So how 'bout it WT?

 

[WaterTiger]

Coffee?

How about I dazzle you with my cooking skills as well as my zesty banter? PM me and we'll discuss the details.








Are you allergic to cats?

 

[WestCoaster]

I'm a computer dork ...

... how do I PM on this board?

And actually I do like cooking idea better ... you sound more daring than the apprehensive Northwest women who think coffee on a first date/blind date = marriage. Women very uptight up here.

So anyway, give me the computer details and we'll go from there.

* I like cats (and dogs, too). The cat I grew up with lived to 23 years old if you can believe that. Let him run wild indoors and outdoors and he just kept going and going.

 

[sux2bu]

Re: Back to the subject at hand

Originally posted by Jay Gatsby
We're all here to either get advice, or give advice. Some men want to get married, some men will eventually decide to get married, and some men will never get married. Each man has his own reasons, but the best reason to get married is because YOU want to get married.

A man should never get married just because:

1. He's afraid of losing his girlfriend.
2. His girlfriend gives him an ultimatum.
3. Her family is putting pressure on him.
4. His family is putting pressure on him.
5. Her friends are putting pressure on him.
6. His friends are putting pressure on him.
7. It would help him professionally.
8. He's looking to save money by splitting expenses.

9. He's afraid of getting back into the dating pool after being out for a long time.
10. Statistics show the age by which the average man gets married.
11. He's afraid he'll be too old to relate to his children (if he has any).
12. He's afraid of being alone.

There are probably hundreds of more reasons not to get married, but suffice it to say, the decision whether to get married should be made in a vacuum -- independent of outside influences. Of course, 99% of the time this won't be the case, but it should be.

13. He should never get married just because he got a girl pregnant.

^This is the biggest mistake a guy could ever make.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

the Number One reason for divorce?

MARRIAGE!!!

marriage is a legal and financial contract, plain and simple. if you don't get married, you don't get divorced, plain and simple.

but you love each other, so it's the ultimate symbol of eternal committment? we will stay with each other forever because we are soulmates. yeah, right!

isn't it more of a committment and TRUE love if you DON'T get married and are therefore not BOUND by a legal and financial contract?

if you're not married, both of you can walk away at any time. it keeps both of you, and the relationship, in check, whereas the contract of marriage keeps you together?

how many married couples are still married only because it would be a MAJOR MAJOR hassle, legal and financial, to get divorced.

marriage usually fvcks up otherwise fantastic LTR's.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
If he's been able to keep his marriage alive for more that 6 months after 9 day courtship, then YES, you want his advice! You should be on your knees begging him for advice on how he found, qualified & is keeping a partner.

what? 6 months of marriage does not an expert make. if you would have said,

"....alive for more than 10 YEARS after a 9 day courtship..."

that would be different. it ususally takes a couple of YEARS of marriage just to initiate a divorce! then you have a year or so, or more, of "negotiating" and "trying to work it out", before the actual paperwork is filed IN COURT, then the real fighting begins.

this marriage is what you would call the "Starter Marriage". universally, the first marriage is the Starter Marriage. you know, people who think, for socialogical and personal reasons, that they should get married, but also who have no real expectation of it lasting "forever". these Starter Marriages last 3-5 years, they get divorced, then figure they'll get it right the second (or third, or fourth) time around. some people get quite proficient at the legal process of "summary dissolution".

sh!t, you can even get divorced ONLINE for $295.00 plus court fees.

marriage is a fvcking joke. even the networks are making fun of it with all of the "reality" shows. society is laughing at it.

the ONLY reason divorce rates have increased so dramatically, is because it is socially acceptable. if divorce was socially acceptable in the 1950's, the divorce rate would have been just as high then, as it is now.

my grandparents have been unhappily married for 65 years! if it was socially acceptable, they would have been divorced in the 50's.

the institution of marriage is DEAD.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

ok, now here is a guy who has been married and divorced 3 times
here's my advice for anyone thinking of marriage:
dont marry in your 10's or 20's
dont marry cause you have to (this will cost you extra money down the road i.e. alimony, attorney fees to dump her etc...)
get to know her very very well, date her many many moons
dont live with her but stay with her from time-to-time
if you dont trust her, then dont marry her
if you have doubts whats-so-ever, then dont marry her
try to find one with some type of college degree
try to find one that has an actual career and one that wont be pulling on your shirt tail
find one with motherly values
try to find one that doesnt already have kids
try to find one that doesnt blow money left-and-right and one that can handle fianances
find one that you can see in her eyes that youre the right man for her
just a few tips
sounds like the perfect woman?
maybe thats why most marriages fail
i was a complete failure at marriage (it takes 2 to screw up a marriage so not all was my fault) and plan never to do it again
my biggest problem was that i just didnt put much effort into it because deep down i dont think i ever loved either of them
i like the cheap single life now since my kids are raised

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by FratAndDiddy
ok, now here is a guy who has been married and divorced 3 times
here's my advice for anyone thinking of marriage:
dont marry in your 10's or 20's
dont marry cause you have to (this will cost you extra money down the road i.e. alimony, attorney fees to dump her etc...)
get to know her very very well, date her many many moons
dont live with her but stay with her from time-to-time
if you dont trust her, then dont marry her
if you have doubts whats-so-ever, then dont marry her
try to find one with some type of college degree
try to find one that has an actual career and one that wont be pulling on your shirt tail
find one with motherly values
try to find one that doesnt already have kids
try to find one that doesnt blow money left-and-right and one that can handle fianances
find one that you can see in her eyes that youre the right man for her
just a few tips
sounds like the perfect woman?
maybe thats why most marriages fail
i was a complete failure at marriage (it takes 2 to screw up a marriage so not all was my fault) and plan never to do it again
my biggest problem was that i just didnt put much effort into it because deep down i dont think i ever loved either of them
i like the cheap single life now since my kids are raised

three times! i will take your fantastic advice--"never do it again".

here's the problem: all of the things you mentioned are true. BUT, you could have a very solid idea on all of those things--i mean really solid and not living in La La Land-- but all of the things you mentioned can CHANGE once you're married, right? they do! on both sides, you and her...

these things can develop once you're married...

--you no longer trust her

--she turns into a nag

--she begins to spend money (yours, of course)

--she begins to turn into Earnest Borgnine

--she begins to dish out sex (whilst looking like Earnest Borgnine) to get what she wants

--she begins to get lazy, even though she had a career

--she begins to chop off your b@lls

and so on down the line. no matter how goo goo eyed you both are now--things change.

it is very, very, rare that two people who get married today, will stay HAPPILY married for more than 10 years. you just have to look at the odds, objectively, it's one out of ten.

Marriage = Divorce

A Sad, Sad, Story...Be Very Afraid...
when a good buddy of mine (43) got divorced, it was UGLY. she wiped his ass out. ON HIS BIRTHDAY, she bailed in the middle of the day, and took everything. she took the salt and pepper shakers! she did this to ruin his life and has every intention of continuing to ruin his life henceforth. he has to still hide income because she will go after ANY success he has in the future (via the kids and MORE child support). he lives in a ****ty condo and drives around in a sh!tty car because of this. the more success he has, the more she will get from him. he wants to buy a corvette, but can't because it will tip her off that he's making more money.

it is STILL ugly because they have two kids. his only option is to fight for custody of the kids, so he can be done with her. good luck, because the courts will always favor the mother.

he's got 10 more years of this! check that, she will never be out of his life! he will always have to see her!

he told me flat out, crying, "TooCold...NEVER get married--EVER". man, that sent chills up my spine and i won't forget it.

funny thing? they had a great marriage for a good five years before it turned into sh!t.

i'll take a pass...

 

[FratAndDiddy]

you are all too right TooCold !
i tried to keep it somewhat basic in what i posted, but all of the things you mentioned fit my marriages to a tee.
i went thru the same thing your buddy did and she cleaned my clock. i had no choice but to file bankruptcy and run from her in my last marriage. the whole thing took 2 years of hiding income, harrassing me at work (which cost me a job).
i just hope that if anyone out there who's thinking of marriage take these tips and your thoughts into advice. if i can save a guy a few bucks and months of financial pain then its worth it to post this stuff

 

[TooColdUlrick]

it's ALWAYS the man that gets burned, huh?

 

[FratAndDiddy]

hey TooCold, speaking of Ernest Borgnine, thats what my first wife sounds like after menopause !

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by FratAndDiddy
hey TooCold, speaking of Ernest Borgnine, thats what my first wife sounds like after menopause !

what a major buzzkill...and they wonder why you won't fvck them!

jesus, i'm so down on the marriage thing