Well, I fvcked up...

[The Master Disaster]

I'm not sure what you mean by disrespect. I was not talking about disrespecting anyone. But anyway, if you're sure that conventional beauty isn't a factor at all in how you evaluate women, then good for you! You are a rare guy!

And even if this girl is conventionally beautiful, that's good that it doesn't affect how much you like her at all. That would be very healthy. Anyway, good for you.

I'm not referring to your situation with this girl at all. I'm just trying to make sure that conventional beauty doesn't affect your decision about women at all. If it doesn't, you are already a very free man. Also, that's cool that you "believe in the Bible" - I'm not sure what that means, perhaps that you're a Biblical literalist? Anyway, whatever you believe, I do respect that, and I'm happy for anyone who transcends our culture's superficial values.

Sounds like you're doing great, so good for you and keep up the good work. My bad if I was telling you something you already know.

Best,
Izza

You don't have to apologize, but I just kind of felt like it came from left field. I think I'm fairly free when it comes to judging women on beauty. I don't only pursue women if they are considered "highly desirable" by society. I go for women who I feel complement me mentally, but I also desire a woman who looks appealing to me. That's natural selection for you.

I am talking fairly seriously with this one girl I met over the break that goes to school out in Idaho. She texts me almost every day, and we just talk and text, but I mean she's got the whole emo/punk look, which really isn't my M.O., but I feel she complements me well.

To tell you the truth, this is my first day back at college. I've grown SO much since coming to this forum back in October. Women are incredibly attracted to me. In everyone of my classes, there are at least 2 or 3 women who I talked to and are showing major IOI's. A friend of mine was in one of my classes. I've known him since Freshman year, he was my roommate. He said that I changed a lot. Even went so far as to call me "GQ." I just laughed it off, but I can tell women are more so than ever attracted to me. Even walking down the side walk. Men and women all notice me now. It's pretty empowering.

Women can't hold eye contact and struggle to not sound like an idiot. It's just really fun. I'm not gonna lie. I remember not so long ago; I would look around the class at the guys and see where I fit on the spectrum. I felt I was usually on the bottom, but man in all 3 classes today I felt like I was by far #1 in each.

It's just a really gratifying feeling putting this effort mentally and physically in bettering myself, and to see the results is just phenomenal.

A professor stopped me in the hall today in front of an entire class, who were waiting on a room, to tell me that the final paper I turned in was and I quote "Brilliant" and "Really Profound." She went on for a couple more minutes. This was in front of a lot of good looking women. I looked at a couple as I went on, and they were sending IOI's on a level I've never seen before.

It's gonna be a good year. I'm probably going to text the girl to confirm for tomorrow, and I'm not even worried about rejection, or what she'll say. Even if she says, she changed her mind or something that thwarts the plans. Whatever. I'm not worried.

I've truly grown a lot in the last 6 months. I'm not really afraid asking women out, and I might pursue a couple women in my classes this semester in the next week or two to see where they lead.

Time to spin some plates.

 

[MisterMcGee]

"Time to spin some plates."
PLEASE

 

[Igetit!]

"Time to spin some plates."
PLEASE

LOL!!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw this. Come on now Mister McGee. After all the comments to this thread and all of Master Disaster's replies to our comments,you should know by now that he's not just going to forget about this girl and pursue other women. That should be a given. This is one radical case of oneitis,and all the common sense,reasoning,and logic put together can't help him snap out of it. This can ONLY be solved by the one thing that cures everything....time.

 

[Energizer]

You seem to over analyse every microscopic detail to grave effect. Why? You have wasted a lot of time. Ask her out already, conquer your fear. If I can do it, so can you.

 

[The Master Disaster]

I saw her today at the bookstore. I was with a friend, but she was grinning from ear to ear. I was rather surprised to see her. She was like, "Check your phone!" and it said, "Let's do lunch Thursday at 1 if that's good for you." So I said, "Yea, I'm down for that." She said, "Where do you wanna go?" I winked at her and said, "Slow down there speed racer. We'll see. I don't know what I'll be in the mood for," and then we parted.

So, that's the first time I saw her since our going downtown with her. I didn't want to chat long because I was with a friend, who she had in a class before and does not care for him (He's a pompous jerk. Women seem to love or hate him, but we're like brothers), so I moved on.

We hadn't talked or txt'd since Saturday. I was going to confirm with her for today, but I got caught up in something else and forgot. It's good though that she didn't want to do it today. It's cold, and it's rainy.

 

[Energizer]

I saw her today at the bookstore. I was with a friend, but she was grinning from ear to ear. I was rather surprised to see her. She was like, "Check your phone!" and it said, "Let's do lunch Thursday at 1 if that's good for you." So I said, "Yea, I'm down for that." She said, "Where do you wanna go?" I winked at her and said, "Slow down there speed racer. We'll see. I don't know what I'll be in the mood for," and then we parted.

So, that's the first time I saw her since our going downtown with her. I didn't want to chat long because I was with a friend, who she had in a class before and does not care for him (He's a pompous jerk. Women seem to love or hate him, but we're like brothers), so I moved on.

We hadn't talked or txt'd since Saturday. I was going to confirm with her for today, but I got caught up in something else and forgot. It's good though that she didn't want to do it today. It's cold, and it's rainy.

What is wrong with you? Why would you tell a girl to slow down when she wants you? I find it shocking that after your reluctance to ask her on a date for 2 months that she is still interested. You're trying to play it cool and by doing so you are coming across as someone with small balls.

 

[Igetit!]

What is wrong with you? Why would you tell a girl to slow down when she wants you? I find it shocking that after your reluctance to ask her on a date for 2 months that she is still interested. You're trying to play it cool and by doing so you are coming across as someone with small balls.

Correction Energizer. He hasn't been reluctant to ask her out for 2 months. It's been more like 5 to 6 months. It just seems like 2 months because that's when he started this thread.

 

[Energizer]

Correction Energizer. He hasn't been reluctant to ask her out for 2 months. It's been more like 5 to 6 months. It just seems like 2 months because that's when he started this thread.

You are joking right? Master knew and knows she has been interested in him for about two months (going by this thread start date) and all he has had to do is say "we should go out together sometime", name the place, the time and everything is set up. I'm no expert on women, but even I am not this stupid.

 

[The Master Disaster]

Woah, Woah, Woah,

I said Slow down to the "Where do you want to eat?" question. I didn't want to commit to a place right there.

Correction Energizer. He hasn't been reluctant to ask her out for 2 months. It's been more like 5 to 6 months. It just seems like 2 months because that's when he started this thread.

It's about 3 months.

 

[Energizer]

Why not? It's better to get things out minor details sorted out, so you can go out and have some fun and get the ball rolling (so to speak). Thank your stars you aren't in Italy, because you would have no chance at pulling a woman there. If you aren't prepared to pursue an Italian woman relentlessly, she'll think you are gay and I am starting to think you might not be heterosexual.

 

[Al Moh.]

I always wonder how people can be so blind to their own advice. Well, I myself am guilty of that too from time to time...

 

[Energizer]

I always wonder how people can be so blind to their own advice. Well, I myself am guilty of that too from time to time...

Speak for yourself, I'm not the most confident man you're likely to meet, but even I'd have had this wrapped up in the bag a long time ago. There's no excuse for all this over analysis of a very simple situation and there's no excuse for all the delaying that Master is doing. Here he has a girl would run over across hot coal without any footwear for him and he is sitting here conjuring up the same sentences he was conjuring up when I first joined the forum.

 

[Sandow]

Master Disaster, I thought I told you to let her see you with another girl. Have you done that? If not, you need to ASAP, jealousy is one the best ways to create attraction, especially in this situation. TRUST ME. It sounds like you had a chance in the library, but it was HER, that was with a someone else instead.

Man, I don't want to keep beating a dead horse, but you NEED to escalate and grow some balls now! Rememeber when everyone was telling you that you were finished with this girl, that you had zero chance...And I told you there was still a chance? Well, here you go. Like I said, you still have a chance. You listened to our advice and went no contact and it sounds like it worked pretty well. And I also told you to recreate yourself when you get back. And according to your post, sounds like you did that and are seeing the new attention from people around you . But now its in your hands. We said everything that needed to be said. You either pull the trigger or you don't. But PLEASE pick the former.

 

[Igetit!]

I always wonder how people can be so blind to their own advice. Well,I myself am guilty of that from time to time...

Speak for yourself, I'm not the most confident man you're likely to meet, but even I'd have had this wrapped up in the bag a long time ago. There's no excuse for all this over analysis of a very simple situation and there's no excuse for all the delaying that Master is doing. Here he has a girl would run over across hot coal without any footwear for him and he is sitting here conjuring up the same sentences he was conjuring up when I first joined the forum.

I agree with you that there's no excuse for all this delay that Disaster is doing. He's scared. It's just that simple. Personally,instead of living in fear over this situation,I'd just rather ask her out and have her say yes or no,or just completely forget about it. But hey,that's just me.
The only thing I don't understand about your post Energizer,is where you get the impression that this girl would "run acroos hot coals without any footwear"? What makes you think that? I've read and posted in this thread from the beginning,some thousand years ago,and out of all of Disaster's posts,updates,and comments,I don't recall one where this girl said or did anything that would make me think that of her. This is all in Disaster's head. This is all how he sees things. He's in denial,but in his heart he knows the truth. And because he knows the truth,that's why he won't just come straight out and ask for the date. Because the way things are right now will change. He knows that.

Check out the date this thread was created. Ok,then check out today's date. Today is the 2 month anniversary of THIS THREAD,not of his meeting or being interested in this girl. I said 5 to 6 months. He said more like 3 months. He says 3 months because even he is ashamed at how long he's been stalling. I'd be ashamed too. This thread was started on 11-14-08. Today is 1-14-09! Let's look at the progress he's made. NOT in the whole time he's known this girl,but just from the beginning of this thread. Has there been any progress? Is he any closer to dating her now,than he was when this thread started? No. That's just the reality of where things are right now. Im looking forward to Feb.14,the three month anniversary date of this thread to see whether anything has changed.

Edit:Sandow,you said he needs to pull the trigger. Well,it's already been pulled. The friendzone trigger,that is. This is what a lot of guys don't understand: there's more than one way to blow your chances with a girl. You can approach her being all needy and clingy,all afc,or you can simply be in her presense and do nothing. That will default you into the friendzone.
This is over with.

 

[Sandow]

Well, he might as well pull the "i wanna fvck u trigger." Lol.

At this point, he's got nothing to lose. I wish I could just see them interact and then it would be easier to see if perhaps, just maybe, she is attracted to him. It's a long shot, but I've seen stranger things happen.

But yeah, this thread is good ex of what NOT to do!

 

[Igetit!]

I wish I could just see them interact and then it would be easier to see if perhaps, just maybe, she is attracted to him. It's a long shot, but I've seen stranger things happen.

Agreed. The ONLY thing that could probably save this situation for Disaster is a jealousy plot line. This is where some of Daygameguy's knowledge would come in handy. I understand the concept,but this seems to be Daygame's specialty. Other than that,there's not much else he can do.

But yeah, this thread is good ex of what NOT to do!

EXACTLY!!!

This would be good for newbies to read and learn from.

 

[izza]

Woah, Woah, Woah,

I said Slow down to the "Where do you want to eat?" question. I didn't want to commit to a place right there.

I do recommend reducing flaking by setting a specific spot as soon as possible. Then again, this isn't a big deal. But it does reduce the chance of problems later.

Then again, being true to yourself is more important than "raising percentages." Being yourself, let's say, raises percentages a lot more - success as well as enjoyment.

Izza

 

[The Master Disaster]

Guys,

I understand you read these all the time with skewed perspectives, but I've made every attempt to keep this as real as possible. Maybe that's why I am analyzing everything, so I can share with you guys what actually happened.

Honestly, I'm not withholding information from you.

Sandow, I don't like doing this "jealousy" plot because is it just some ploy to impress her? I'm not comfortable setting out to impress her because I don't need that. She should be trying to impress me. She should be saying, what can I show him that I have to offer?

Izza, it would take a natural disaster or a family crisis for her to flake tomorrow. She proposed it Saturday and followed up on Tuesday. She basically asked me out... this is at the point of hilarity. I haven't done my job, so she is going to take over the reign.

Haha, god, you are all so right. This is what not to do, but can someone explain to me why or even how she could be still interested?

She's good looking, smart, and funny... She sometimes talks about how much attention she receives from men, and yet she still wants to spend time with me, the guy who has dropped the ball 500,000,000 times, the guy who doesn't capitalize on any damn thing.

Going back to when I was planning on going out again, 4 weeks ago, I'm gonna do what I said then, and what I will do now, escalate!

Hmm... I might take her too this nice market tomorrow, and we can pick up some things to prepare. That would be hell of a lot better for me to escalate. Both of us working in the kitchen instead of being in some sterol restaurant.

I don't think either of us can really cook, so it might be interesting.

Hell, I have nothing to lose at this moment, and it seems like she's practically begging me to make a move. It's F'ing time.

To tell you the truth, I haven't really thought about her much this week. I've been so busy with things, and I'm meeting all these new people. For some reason, something in my head clicked, and now I easily flirt with women all the time in my classes and in public. It's fun.

There is this girl in my French class and we heavily, heavily flirt all class. It's hard NOT to kiss her because she's got that look in her eyes. I know she has a boyfriend, so it's just flirting for fvck of it.

There is another girl in my french class who is I guess engaged now who saw me downtown with the girl the thread is about, and the next day she approached me to ask if that was my girlfriend. She is sending me too many IOI's now. It's like... You're engaged. Stop!

I had a girl over in my apartment last night who is the girlfriend of a friend of mine. She was over to help one of my roommates with his Calc homework, but she spent the whole time talking to me and flirting to the point of touching me. I think they worked on their Calc maybe 5 mins, and she talked to me for about 2 hours. My roommate is a complete AFC, and he was just there. Wherever I moved, she followed. Her body was directed exactly at me. I went up to cook; she followed and leaned on the counter as we chatted. I couldn't do much more, but it was fun seeing how easily I could get attracted.

I mean yea, they all have boyfriends, and there isn't any opportunity with them, nor will I force an opportunity, but they are all beautiful women, and it helps with my inner game. Right now, it doesn't take more than 2 sentences for women to bat their eyes at me and play with their hair.

It's like this now everywhere I go. I'm talking to men and women so freely now that it's empowering. I really feel on top of my game right now. We'll see how that affects what happens tomorrow.

It's about time because I've had all the skills. I just needed to work on my confidence, and my confidence has never been even this close.

So anyways, I'll let you guys know what happens with her tomorrow.

I honestly don't care if you guys continue to flame me.

Energizer, I have no clue why you are questioning my sexuality. I think that's a little far bro.

Igetit, please don't overly exaggerate to make a point, and then proclaim that I'm exaggerating and skewing events... There is no reason to be hypocritical.

Throughout this entire thread, I've tried to accurately detail my experience. I've wrote down as much as I could remember to the very N-th degree, as you may know. It's not to analyze everything, but it's to paint the accurate picture. Sometimes, it was hard writing this because I knew I was going to get flamed, but I did it. I remember one time; I withheld the information and later regretted not saying it.

We're on page 13, and I hope tomorrow I will be able to draw closure to this situation. If it's getting another date, if it's kissing her, if it's the friendzone, if it's contracting the herpes, I don't care.

It's time for every journey to end, and tomorrow this one shall reach that very same fate.

 

[izza]

Izza, it would take a natural disaster or a family crisis for her to flake tomorrow. She proposed it Saturday and followed up on Tuesday. She basically asked me out... this is at the point of hilarity. I haven't done my job, so she is going to take over the reign.

Ok, just saying for general reference. It would be possible to read what you said above as defensive - or counting your chickens before they're hatched, or both. But I don't read it that way. Glad she's into you. Sounds like you're into her too. Building that is all attraction is about.

Haha, god, you are all so right. This is what not to do, but can someone explain to me why or even how she could be still interested?

Oh I know this one! You're succeeding because you don't follow the non-sense that people prescribe here!

Izza

 

[MisterMcGee]

You're doing 'okay' because she doesn't know what we know.
Just adopt her reality of the situation as your own. NOTHING has been going on. You HAVEN'T been thinking about her constantly. You DIDNT create a thread on a self-help forum about her.
You've bene busy. Aloof. Doing other stuff. Occupied.
Think "hey, you know what? That girl I went on a date with once? She's kinda cool. I'm gonna see what happens there."
That's it.
Simple.

No complications, expectations, formulae, psychoanalyzing, procrastinating, wussying out, second-thoughts, or anything.
The reason things have been going slow between you and her is because you're a busy dude.
Period.
Adopt that mindset and get on with your full life, rather than staying in this worried-@ss mindset about this girl and what the 'best way to go about it' is.
That's when things become doomed to fail.

Yeah, you wussed out on a lot of opportunities. But fvck that mindset, you simply passed them up cause you were busy with personal stuff (true). Nothing WRONG or BAD happened between you and her, so don't worry if it's not a silky smooth slip-n-slide fastlane to fvckville.
I know you describe EVERYTHING to us for completion's sake, but don't. It sucks you back into this analytical mindset (where your 'moves' or lack thereof are uber important, when they aren't) and boils your balls.

best of luck. As for this girl, hope you guys have some FUN and neither of you get so uber worked up about the dating stage. So things haven't been uber smooth and fast - so what? It hasn't been NOT smooth, just slow. Nothing wrong with slow. Just don't pass up opportunities when you're actually WITH her. It's okay if you wuss out behind your computer screen or cellphone because she doesn't know any of that, and you've been going through personal growth so it's excusable on your part. We all make mistakes, but your mistakes don't harm the situation at all.

Yeah, it's been 5-6 months. So what? Show interest now. Yeah, you're interested in more between you and her now. Nothing wrong with that. It's not like she knows you've been teething after her for the past 6 months, and TRUST ME you haven't been, cause if you had been, you would've done something uber stupid by now. You're just being a wuss. No biggie, forget it ever happened. Just make sure you're not a wuss any more.
Things haven't "gone wrong", they've just been "going slow" and may have pseudo-died-down, but not for any concrete reason. If anything, just because you're acting like a dude who has low interest level (inaction) or is a (duh) wuss.
Don't think things are a huge deal to her, and don't make them a big deal to you.
Like I said, it's not your fault nothing has happened between you and her, and it's not her fault either. It's nobody's fault, and it's not even a fault in the first place.

Remember, you're controlling the frame - you think things are going fine. There aren't any complications, no annoyances, no bumps along the road. This is just how things are going, and you're cool with it cause it's not a big deal to you.