To attract women: be fun or be serious?

[Serenity]

Both, definitely both!

If you lean too much into being funny you turn into a clown. Good entertainment, for now, but it doesn't show that you have the masculine trait of getting sh!t done if sh!t needs doing.

If you lean too much into being serious you become dull. Shouldn't need to explain the problem with this.

I'm both serious and funny. I play both sides at different times, when appropriate. Some stuff is serious, I don't joke around with anything that actually matters to me. If there's no need to be serious I won't be serious, but I will be serious if necessary.

Displaying this is fairly simple. By default you just have fun, crack jokes, tease and essentially play like a child. If she likes it she will inevitably test you on your masculinity as well, she'll try to push boundaries. If you have no boundaries (let her get away with whatever) then you are not masculine. So to display masculinity is to simply enforce your boundaries, if she starts messing with something you actually care about you do not let her and you're serious about it. If she knows what's good for her she'll listen, back off and respect you more. Then go back to being jovial.

I'm jovial as my default mode most of the time, I carry good vibes, but there is sh!t I do not accept. Whenever someone does something I don't like, typically something unkind, I flip a switch and get serious. If they respect me I flip right back and move on, all good.

I really don't like these false dichotomies "this or that". Who the hell says I have to choose? Humans are complex and capable of most of these "choices", I'd rather play with the full depth of human complexity. Sometimes I'm this, sometimes I'm that. I identify as me, which is ever changing depending on current circumstances, so what are the circumstances? Which tool is most applicable right now and leaves me better off than before?

If you can stop imposing such limitations on yourself you can become incredibly adaptive and it will greatly benefit you when dealing with women.

 

[BaronOfHair]

If you lean too much into being funny you turn into a clown

And becoming the wrong type of clown

will leave every one around you in literal stitches. IF there's even much of them left to sew back up

 

[Serenity]

And becoming the wrong type of clown

will leave every one around you in literal stitches. IF there's even much of them left to sew back up

Unfortunately the video is not available in my country.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Too serious and you go down the Employer / Employee route things get too formal , she gets bored and you get ghosted

Too silly and you go down the dancing monkey route and the friendzone isn't far behind that

I've tried and tested a lot of stuff .....nonchalance and indifference are the golden bullets but sprinkled with a little humour and sexual innuendo

It's extremely important you ensure she can't slot you into a previous mans archetype as that's usually where the games begin

It's also worth noting maybe 60-70% of guys she meets will default to a stereotypical romcom style character with her which she's played out probably 1000X already

Anything that deviates from the norm / challenges her is exciting for her

 

[plumber]

The shy ones often hover and smile, the bolder ones will initiate conversations.

yes, do you go ahead and initiate conversation with the shy ones or because not looking just let them go?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

yes, do you go ahead and initiate conversation with the shy ones or because not looking just let them go?

I encourage the shy ones to voice their desire.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I'm always confused about this.

1) One group of men say "Make her laugh, have fun, bring out the little girl in her and she'll be yours."

2) The other group of men say "Be serious, focused, no nonsense type of guy, and she will be yours."

All things considered (dress, height, look, money), which is it?

a mans behavior matters more than womens it seems

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm always confused about this.

1) One group of men say "Make her laugh, have fun, bring out the little girl in her and she'll be yours."

2) The other group of men say "Be serious, focused, no nonsense type of guy, and she will be yours."

All things considered (dress, height, look, money), which is it?

Some ways of having fun and making her laugh are more alluring than others. Think

rather than

 

[BaronOfHair]

a mans behavior matters more than womens it seems

Megan Fox possessed an obnoxious streak that far exceeded her talent, Whitney Houston couldn't resist the urge to act like a loon interviews, Britney Spears let her baby get behind the wheel... Each witnessed their careers and public esteem go down the sh-tter, just as quickly as their fame was acquired

Behavior dictates the trajectory of ALL our lives, ultimately, no matter what gender we are. Or think we are, in this day and age

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Megan Fox possessed an obnoxious streak that far exceeded her talent, Whitney Houston couldn't resist the urge to act like a loon interviews, Britney Spears let her baby get behind the wheel... Each witnessed their careers and public esteem go down the sh-tter, just as quickly as their fame was acquired

Behavior dictates the trajectory of ALL our lives, ultimately, no matter what gender we are. Or think we are, in this day and age

well over the years, i know i'm in good company, and that is, a mans social-skills, conversation-ability, impact his ability to attract women, to get laid, to get a girlfriend, a lot more than the other way around it seems, its even said that, men are always the ones that have to bring value to interactions, be the one to makes it fun or interesting, the quality of the interaction rests on the mans shoulders.

 

[BaronOfHair]

well over the years, i know i'm in good company, and that is, a mans social-skills, conversation-ability, impact his ability to attract women, to get laid, to get a girlfriend, a lot more than the other way around it seems, its even said that, men are always the ones that have to bring value to interactions, be the one to makes it fun or interesting, the quality of the interaction rests on the mans shoulders.

You have to "be the man" and lead, or go without, this is true

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You have to "be the man" and lead, or go without, this is true

Or just stand in the corner of the room and show them no attention.
You don't need to entertain them, you're not a performing monkey.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You don't need to entertain them, you're not a performing monkey.

That's what I was getting at here:

Some ways of having fun and making her laugh are more alluring than others. Think

rather than

The Kreischer type is desperately trying to entertain everyone, as opposed to being light and playful. Which sends almost everyone around him charging for the exit, faster than Falling Man https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Falling_Man#:~:text=Most of the people who,F (1,090 °C)) headed for the nearest window, once The Trade Towers grew a trifle TOO toasty for his liking

 

[parabellum]

To the original question.

In my experience, better to be serious than fun. Better yet, you’re serious with pretty much everyone, but you show her your fun side, sometimes.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

You have to "be the man" and lead, or go without, this is true

so am i right in what i said about the quality of the interaction rests on mens shoulders?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

so am i right in what i said about the quality of the interaction rests on mens shoulders?

No, only if you choose low hanging fruit.

 

[BaronOfHair]

so am i right in what i said about the quality of the interaction rests on mens shoulders?

Dating and mating is like everything else in life, hoss... The benefits we receive are dependent upon the effort we put into our pursuits

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Dating and mating is like everything else in life, hoss... The benefits we receive are dependent upon the effort we put into our pursuits

yeah, its just that the way it has always looked like, is that, men are the only gender that were meant to experience or receive rewards for putting in work or effort, but not women.

 

[BaronOfHair]

yeah, its just that the way it has always looked like, is that, men are the only gender that were meant to experience or receive rewards for putting in work or effort, but not women.

If that were the case, women wouldn't be looking over Sydney Sweeney's shoulder

, for tips on how THEY can strengthen their sex appeal

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

If that were the case, women wouldn't be looking over Sydney Sweeney's shoulder

, for tips on how THEY can strengthen their sex appeal

yup, because a mans communication skills matter more than womens. Yeah, oh well, it is what it is