The woman should come out and tell us when they want sex

[Pierce Manhammer]

Do what works for you man.Own it.

I would totally like a woman to be smitten by me (and for both of us to love the sex). In the absence of a smitten woman, however, I'm willing to utilize escorts to achieve my own needs.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s her job to make you feel that way, never lose sight of that.

In retrospect, it’s also a non-prostitute’s imperative that wants you in her life to make you feel that way. Yet somehow it’s different.

I sometimes wonder if my good looks at least make the session more enjoyable for her than some other sessions (where she's with an older, uglier guy)

 

[GoodMan32]

Look at what you consider important - the leftovers. Not her, not romance, not the mood. That's a problem - she realized your romantic sentence was fake when you immediately changed the subject to leftovers. One moment you say something romantic, the next you bring up leftovers.

I suspect you're going to have to "come clean" with the women you date about being on the spectrum. If you try and build up your dating script one sentence at a time, how many hundreds of dates will you need to get it right? You'll be stuck in the movie Groundhog Day.

As an aside, "ASD" has two different meanings in this thread:
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Anti-Slut Defense

Maybe it's the Scottish genetics in me. Scots are known for being frugal. The Scot in me couldn't stand the thought of the leftovers she had already paid for spoiling.

I have gotten laid for free before. I feel like coming clean about being on the spectrum would hurt more than help. Yeah, some women might be more understanding of my transgressions if they know I'm on the spectrum. Most women, however, would run once they heard I'm on the spectrum.

Also, since I'm able to pass for neurotypical, I'd rather not have word get out that I'm on the spectrum. As it is, people probably think I'm neurotypical but slightly strange. To me, that's better than being known as the guy on the spectrum.

 

[pipeman84]

Someone must have really hurt you bad at some point, I’m sorry.

p.s. you don’t need to justify your experience or existence to me bruv, do your prostitute thing if it works for you.

None of the above. I'm all about being authentic and having self-awareness. I think everyone should do whatever he or she feels like (within legal limits), but let's not fool ourselves or others in the process.

Some guys marry pornstars, do you realize the lack of self awareness present in such cases? There's the chick sucking and fvcking all sorts of guys on camera from the tall muscular black dude with an 8 inch dyck to some fat hairy dude with a belly and tiny c0ck and from all appearances she fully enjoys the experience.
But the poor sap who marries her really believes her when she says that all of that is acting, but what happens in their bedroom is the real deal.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Agreed, however not every man’s reality is the same as our own. Just because a man cannot do something does not mean another cannot. There is a low-level signal that pervades this forum and others men frequent that is competitive this is natural, but you should celebrate the success of other men, not seek to tear it down.

It’s like the men who cannot fathom the idea of someone else’s reality because their own is different. Deep down these haters share one thing: they believe themselves to be better and are angry that that cannot achieve the abundance men they consider inferior to them do.

There is also this pervasive story of all women being untrustworthy, lying, cheating, cawk-guzzlers. NAWALT is true, but so is NAMALT is as well.

Just because you might be able to elicit something from a woman, does not mean I can or should be able to, it’s all in how things line up, there are a zillion permutations. But that does not mean that your reality is not valid, if you’re being honest in its description.

It’s all in what YOU value and hold in high regard, I don’t care who you schtoop, it’s not my cawk. If you are happy that’s all that matters as long as you’re not hurting others in the process.

None of the above. I'm all about being authentic and having self-awareness. I think everyone should do whatever he or she feels like (within legal limits), but let's not fool ourselves or others in the process.

Some guys marry pornstars, do you realize the lack of self awareness present in such cases? There's the chick sucking and fvcking all sorts of guys on camera from the tall muscular black dude with an 8 inch dyck to some fat hairy dude with a belly and tiny c0ck and from all appearances she fully enjoys the experience.
But the poor sap who marries her really believes her when she says that all of that is acting, but what happens in their bedroom is the real deal.

 

[corrector]

I've been told I'm an 8 and a half out of 10 on the looks scale.

In my experience, when I've chatted with girls on dating sites, they're initially intrigued by my looks. Then in many cases, they quickly end up losing interest because of my social awkwardness.

The more I hear about your story, the more I think that I feel something sounds sad. You should be killing it in the dating market and yet you are content to, by our own admission, settle for a paid hook-up with a 60 year old hor and it honestly sounds like they probably love dealing with you as a client and taking your money, and you are probably the icing on their cake as far as their occupation is concerned. However, its still not right for you as you can get better women, in both looks and quality for free if you worked on the social awkwardness.

You DMed me some stories of civvie conquests and I'm floored. You have great potential. Why not work on your social awkardness with paid hot women and focus on more paid dinner dates or outings that involve you opening up and talking. I'm not sure how much that would cost, but there are escorts that provide that type of service with getting laid as part of the package. I think just having a couple of hours rendezvous per month with escorts that are below your SMV is not doing you favours at this stage in the game and you should budget for a more comprehensive 4 hour date that includes dinner, conversation and the sex afterwards. It may cost more money, but I think it will be more helpful than just getting your rocks off with sub-par women in the first place.

 

[corrector]

You make a good point. While I'm fully aware escorts are only with me for money, I sometimes wonder if my good looks at least make the session more enjoyable for her than some other sessions (where she's with an older, uglier guy)

It probably does, but the mere fact she's charging you puts you in a box that's different than if you met her outside of that context. I mean, you are still a client to her. The last escort I remember in December, 2014, I could see this look in her eyes that I'm an id1iot for being there as maybe she expected that I could have got a hook-up for free or something like that. (I saw her on a Friday night, which I guess this is the place that people go to when they fail at nightgame?) I think some of them might think we are stupid for dealing with them and can't respect us that way even though they have an easier session compared to the next guy. The more handsome you are, the more they will think something is up, that you might be a cop or have a screw loose upstairs.

For the record, the last escort I dealt with told me I was the best client she dealt with that whole day. That is after she THOUGHT I asked her if she enjoyed the experience with me. (ie I didn't say that, I asked "what did you put on me?", which would have been inappropriate and offensive if she perceived the question correctly...I had felt like a spiritual snake bit me and I got venom in my soul after I orgasmed there). Escorts do have a way of making you feel special.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

In your opinion, how many times does an inexperience guy need to have physical contact with an escort before it loses that value and becomes pure medication? Once, twice, ten, twenty or a hundred times? Does the saying f-twenty other women apply here?

0.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've been told I'm an 8 and a half out of 10 on the looks scale.

In my experience, when I've chatted with girls on dating sites, they're initially intrigued by my looks. Then in many cases, they quickly end up losing interest because of my social awkwardness.

If you are physically hot. Girls will overlook your personality or behavior weirdness. At lesst in the short term. If you’re really an 8.5, girls wont care that you’re akward.

 

[corrector]

If you are physically hot. Girls will overlook your personality or behavior weirdness. At lesst in the short term. If you’re really an 8.5, girls wont care that you’re akward.

But again, he said "he has been told". I'm not sure who told him that, but if an escort told him that then it would not be credible.

You sound like you are the same looks-level he is so his story is at best bizarre and at worst, doesn't add up somewhere. This is especially as he's not even getting hot escorts and claims they are 2 points lower than he is. More or less the same types of girls he'd get if he used swipe apps.

I mean lets be real here. Would you even deal with a 60 year old woman for free knowing what you can pull? You are pulling 20 year old girls.

 

[corrector]

0.

You know there are on here people that feel that I would benefit if I visited an escorts. It's interesting you said zero.

I have not had any type of physical contact with the opposite sex since 2019 (I hugged a cashier warmly and she asked me to hug her).

You really think there is no benefit to that if it's been a while?

 

[GoodMan32]

The more I hear about your story, the more I think that I feel something sounds sad. You should be killing it in the dating market and yet you are content to, by our own admission, settle for a paid hook-up with a 60 year old hor and it honestly sounds like they probably love dealing with you as a client and taking your money, and you are probably the icing on their cake as far as their occupation is concerned. However, its still not right for you as you can get better women, in both looks and quality for free if you worked on the social awkwardness.

You DMed me some stories of civvie conquests and I'm floored. You have great potential. Why not work on your social awkardness with paid hot women and focus on more paid dinner dates or outings that involve you opening up and talking. I'm not sure how much that would cost, but there are escorts that provide that type of service with getting laid as part of the package. I think just having a couple of hours rendezvous per month with escorts that are below your SMV is not doing you favours at this stage in the game and you should budget for a more comprehensive 4 hour date that includes dinner, conversation and the sex afterwards. It may cost more money, but I think it will be more helpful than just getting your rocks off with sub-par women in the first place.

The 60-something escort even texts with me outside of "work" (to discuss all sorts of personal stuff). She always initiates the personal discussions.

I think I've mentioned on here before that there's an escort I have somewhat of a friendship with. She's the one I was talking about.

Still, even though she reaches out to me outside of work, and even though I'm half her age (and good-looking), I'm not stupid. I know she only gets with me because I pay her.

The 2021 civvie conquest whose details I shared on DM, keep in mind it took 2 years of flirting to finally get the romp.

As for paid dinner dates, depending on the affordability, I'm not necessarily opposed to the idea if I thought it would help me. One problem I foresee, however: Since an escort's job is to pretend she's into the client, how am I supposed to know if I'm really doing a good job at gaming her?

 

[corrector]

how am I supposed to know if I'm really doing a good job at gaming her?

It would appear to be more profitable in your case to build confidence and to be used to seeing a dinner date end in the bedroom. If you feel good socially as well and feel you can at least hold a conversation with a hot stranger over dinner without worrying if you will have sex afterwards then would that newfound confidence not spill over into civvies to?

 

[BeExcellent]

I've been told I'm an 8 and a half out of 10 on the looks scale.

In my experience, when I've chatted with girls on dating sites, they're initially intrigued by my looks. Then in many cases, they quickly end up losing interest because of my social awkwardness.

Ok listen. Your problem is that you don’t have enough social experience to be able to “play ball” in an area that is uncomfortable to you. That is the essence of the problem. Because you are ASD social appropriateness is a learned behavior for you. It’s not something you naturally do. So instead of taking the shortcut and paying for sex (where the outcome is a known quantity) you need to study the dynamics of social situations where the outcome is an unknown variable.

First and foremost you need to understand something. If you are a handsome guy, women are going to be intrigued by you. That is to your advantage. Let me explain how:

1. Quit over analyzing everything. Stop. Take things at face value. If you miss a couple of cues, it’s Ok. Quit the analysis.

2. Go out more by yourself. When you go out pick a spot where you are at the bar and other people including women are around. When someone sits next to you, say “How’s it going?”. Then listen. You need practice conversating. Practice chatting.

THERE IS NO GOAL HERE other than to learn about other people. Ask follow up questions about what THEY talk about. You’ll be uncomfortable because there is no goal. The goal is to increase your comfort level and learn about a stranger you may never see again. Just do it.

3. For OLD. Quit trying to be cute in text and banter. Ask the girl out. Period. Here is a good text for that:
“Hey I think you are interesting. I’ve got a lot going on but I’m headed to (insert interesting popular place) tomorrow after work. Why don’t you come meet me?

Tell her you’ll be there by 6pm (or whatever time). If she accepts send her your phone number & ask her to text how to recognize her (brunette pony tail, blue sweater) or something like that.

4. If you are handsome then women will reach out to you and/or approach you in real life. They will assume you are arrogant rather than awkward. I’ve never understood this assumption but it’s there nevertheless. This is an advantage. If a girl talks to you? Be cool. Ask about her. Listen. Ask follow up questions. Be curious.

Your homework assignment is practice chatting. This will help you a great deal.

 

[GoodMan32]

It probably does, but the mere fact she's charging you puts you in a box that's different than if you met her outside of that context. I mean, you are still a client to her. The last escort I remember in December, 2014, I could see this look in her eyes that I'm an id1iot for being there as maybe she expected that I could have got a hook-up for free or something like that. (I saw her on a Friday night, which I guess this is the place that people go to when they fail at nightgame?) I think some of them might think we are stupid for dealing with them and can't respect us that way even though they have an easier session compared to the next guy. The more handsome you are, the more they will think something is up, that you might be a cop or have a screw loose upstairs.

For the record, the last escort I dealt with told me I was the best client she dealt with that whole day. That is after she THOUGHT I asked her if she enjoyed the experience with me. (ie I didn't say that, I asked "what did you put on me?", which would have been inappropriate and offensive if she perceived the question correctly...I had felt like a spiritual snake bit me and I got venom in my soul after I orgasmed there). Escorts do have a way of making you feel special.

Good points. Maybe that's why certain escorts have acted paranoid I might be a cop.

And you're right, as glad as they are to get the business, they probably wonder why a good-looking guy isn't getting laid by a free civvie. They might very well think the guy has some type of mental illness.

The respect thing too. If an ugly/old man buys an escort, it's obvious why he's buying her. When a younger guy with good looks hires an escort at all (let alone an older escort with worse looks than him), might make it hard for the escort to respect him.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you are physically hot. Girls will overlook your personality or behavior weirdness. At lesst in the short term. If you’re really an 8.5, girls wont care that you’re akward.

I've had free sex with 9 civvies (which is probably a higher number than I'd get if I were ugly on top of being socially awkward).

The fact many of these civvies have been one and dones drives your point home about how they only overlook awkwardness in the short term.

If a guy with my looks wasn't on the spectrum (and was hellbent on getting civvie sex), he'd easily get way more than 9 civvies by his 30s.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've had free sex with 9 civvies (which is probably a higher number than I'd get if I were ugly on top of being socially awkward).

The fact many of these civvies have been one and dones drives your point home about how they only overlook awkwardness in the short term.

If a guy with my looks wasn't on the spectrum (and was hellbent on getting civvie sex), he'd easily get way more than 9 civvies by his 30s.

Instead of ‘civies’. let’s just call them ‘women’. This is like calling normal people’cis-‘.

 

[GoodMan32]

But again, he said "he has been told". I'm not sure who told him that, but if an escort told him that then it would not be credible.

You sound like you are the same looks-level he is so his story is at best bizarre and at worst, doesn't add up somewhere. This is especially as he's not even getting hot escorts and claims they are 2 points lower than he is. More or less the same types of girls he'd get if he used swipe apps.

I mean lets be real here. Would you even deal with a 60 year old woman for free knowing what you can pull? You are pulling 20 year old girls.

One reason I hire older/uglier escorts is because they're cheaper (and easier to book with; not as many guys want to book with the older/uglier ones).

Obviously I wouldn't trust an escort to tell me the truth about my looks. As for who said I'm an 8 and a half: Some girl I chatted with on a dating site when I was 20. Seeing as I'm currently in my 30s, it's possible her assessment might be way outdated.

I don't really ask girls to rank me. So I haven't heard much input since then about what my 1-10 ranking is (although I have had civvies compliment my looks).

I don't post public photos on here. I've shared photos on DM before. I'm willing to share on DM if you'd like to see what I look like.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You know there are on here people that feel that I would benefit if I visited an escorts. It's interesting you said zero.

I have not had any type of physical contact with the opposite sex since 2019 (I hugged a cashier warmly and she asked me to hug her).

You really think there is no benefit to that if it's been a while?

I think making out. And tvttie play and dry hvmping are hardwired. So is fvcking. Now. fingering might require skill. but there’s plenty of resources to address that. I don’t think an escort is necessary. It’s really staying hard & stamina.

 

[GoodMan32]

It would appear to be more profitable in your case to build confidence and to be used to seeing a dinner date end in the bedroom. If you feel good socially as well and feel you can at least hold a conversation with a hot stranger over dinner without worrying if you will have sex afterwards then would that newfound confidence not spill over into civvies to?

The confidence could certainly spill over onto free women. Certainly worth looking into.

In a way, the idea still creates unrealistic expectations (because I'd know for a fact the paid dinner escort will give me sex). So it still isn't quite the same as gaming a free woman into giving me sex. What I really need to get better at is gaming my way into free sex.