The woman should come out and tell us when they want sex

[corrector]

There is no reason to even discuss escorts on this site.

There are escortcellers and MGTOWs who use escorts. It seems both want to graduate and learn. As long as incel adopted the term escortcel it is valid part of incel and MGTOW which are both valid here. But I agree in the sense it is against my religion and I got hurt spiritually when I did use one in the past.

However, @GoodMan32 does not have any bad reactions like I did.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There are escortcellers and MGTOWs who use escorts. It seems both want to graduate and learn. As long as incel adopted the term escortcel it is valid part of incel and MGTOW which are both valid here. But I agree in the sense it is against my religion and I got hurt spiritually when I did use one in the past.

However, @GoodMan32 does not have any bad reactions like I did.

Well. Escorts are a reality. But. It takes no game or anything to get one. Just money.

 

[corrector]

Well. Escorts are a reality. But. It takes no game or anything to get one. Just money.

Also my soul. The last escort had a piece of my soul and I had a piece of hers. I could not get that piece back. That aspect was part of a nervous breakdown that started the next day aftet visiting that escort from Brazil in 2014.

 

[BeExcellent]

Hmmmmm. Ignored the old lady’s post. That’s Ok however understand that you are TOO focused on sex. Every man wants sex, duh. That’s life for attractive women. So direct focus on sex is going to be very off putting, a huge turn off.

Unless you are hot enough and confident enough to make a bold move, and by that I mean super bold, as in “You’re sexy AF, let’s bang” bold move.

And if that works you take the girl home, and while you take her home you ask her to tell you what she likes, since she must be a very naughty girl.

That does a few things. First it gets your intent out of the way as an ice breaker, second it gets you off the hook conversationally. If you get her home & don’t know what else to do, or if you are having anxiety to get hard? Tell her to blow you.

Tell. Don’t ask.

Now clearly you aren’t fvcking a girl against her will, that’s rape and nobody is condoning that. But the bold move can set you up to overcome lots of things if in fact you have the looks to pull it off.

Either way you can’t fumble around wanting sex, giving off the “Gee I’d really like to fvck you” vibe while coming across afraid of her response (or your own shadow) when a girl chats you up.

That is an inconsistency that comes off weird. It triggers cognitive dissonance which will weird girls right out.

Learn conversation or learn the bold move to seduce. That is how you do it.

 

[corrector]

Hmmmmm. Ignored the old lady’s post. That’s Ok however understand that you are TOO focused on sex. Every man wants sex, duh. That’s life for attractive women. So direct focus on sex is going to be very off putting, a huge turn off.

Unless you are hot enough and confident enough to make a bold move, and by that I mean super bold, as in “You’re sexy AF, let’s bang” bold move.

And if that works you take the girl home, and while you take her home you ask her to tell you what she likes, since she must be a very naughty girl.

That does a few things. First it gets your intent out of the way as an ice breaker, second it gets you off the hook conversationally. If you get her home & don’t know what else to do, or if you are having anxiety to get hard? Tell her to blow you.

Tell. Don’t ask.

Now clearly you aren’t fvcking a girl against her will, that’s rape and nobody is condoning that. But the bold move can set you up to overcome lots of things if in fact you have the looks to pull it off.

Either way you can’t fumble around wanting sex, giving off the “Gee I’d really like to fvck you” vibe while coming across afraid of her response (or your own shadow) when a girl chats you up.

That is an inconsistency that comes off weird. It triggers cognitive dissonance which will weird girls right out.

Learn conversation or learn the bold move to seduce. That is how you do it.

What is your price?

 

[BeExcellent]

Priceless of course. But I’ve never been for sale in any way, never transactional, don’t care about a guys money past is he self supporting and financially in my ballpark (not a mooch).

I’m married to a *hot* man and off the market. Frankly I was never on the market as I have more interest than I can entertain at my fingertips or if I leave the house. A luxury to be sure.

Don’t forget my first husband was in the nightclub business and I have been in the nightclubs to dance Latin or ballroom or country all my adult life. Also don’t forget who many of my friends are (players who have bedded hundreds of women).

I know how the game works much better than a lot of the dudes around here. I hear about it, observe it and have been fascinated with it for decades. Obviously I use that knowledge (which is second nature) to my advantage. It’s kinda like The Force in Star Wars. You can use it for good but it must be wielded with respect, there is a dark side

 

[BeExcellent]

In your opinion whats the floor for "hottness" to pull Mode 1 off?

Because, how it sounds is that Chads and Tyrones are free to express themselves as sexual beings and get unconditional sex while lesser looking men need to have non-overt sexual vibe with conditional conversation to get it.

Well with me that tactic has never worked to get straight to sex, but I appreciate when a man has the balls to give it a shot.

All of the men I have dated seriously made some type of bold move. Something about me communicates class & value however so the typical bold move Id get is some variety of “You’re gorgeous, when am I taking you out?”

And that was the Chads, lol.

Mode 1 is more about attitude than looks. I know several men who are very average looking but could get a ******* or sex easily, like “let me go get a BJ & I’ll catch you in a few….”

It’s less about looks and more about attitude. ASD people are naturally aloof. That can be leveraged to one’s advantage as a guy.

But telling an ASD person to pick up social cues better misses the fact that the whole problem is failure to recognize them at all. It’s like telling a deaf person to listen harder.

So who cares what these Chads & Tyrones do. It’s a tactic that might work if a guy has the looks an the attitude, even if that attitude is more awkward than arrogant, both come across as IDGAF, and that is what matters.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm confused... Then why did you start with "unless you're hot enough..." if it's less about looks?

Look. Most women will forgive a tremendous amount if they think a man is hot enough. If our OP is a 8.5 then 85% of women would consider him attractive. Then it becomes how often a particular woman garners the interest of a 8.5 guy, and that plays into how she will act.

Im not “most” women and I’d say I typically dated men who were 8.5 or higher SMV. That means I’m used to hot guys and don’t get as gaga over appearance. My husband I consider a 9, but I only dated attractive men. To me that’s normal. So this isn’t about me as an individual but rather about relative value regarding SMV.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't think the frustration comes from what they can do, but rather what normal looking/less attractive can't do. If I'm normal looking or below average I can't overtly express myself as a sexual being. I have to play coy. How is that constructive for IDGAF

That’s simply not true. I know extremely confident average looking men who slay and it’s not on looks but rather on game (charm, wit & intelligence).

Men on the spectrum struggle more with wit and charm because they don’t have the social calibration of a charming guy, who reads non verbal cues very well.

So use what you have to work with. If you have looks but come across arrogant or aloof (due to awkwardness), who cares what the rationale is, work with the tools you have or learn new tools. Those are any guys choices.

Guys on the spectrum might have a social calibration disadvantage but maybe our OP is good looking enough that women won’t care, at least short term.

 

[BeExcellent]

Quit switching the context of the conversations between you're knowledge of female perspective vs. your preferences. We are not talking about you. When you start these conversations you start them under the context of your view of female perspective towards intersexual dynamics. Then half way through the discussion you switch the context of other posters responses to your comments as your personal preferences. I know we are talking about women in general... Not you...

You are conflating things. My original comment that unless he is attractive enough to overcome his social issues is a true statement out in the field and was never about me individually.

My personal perspective is as a high value, high self esteem, desirable woman. That’s a perspective 80% or more women don’t have.

Both add value to the discussion although for different reasons.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s the thing @DonJuanjr the law of averages applies to populations, not individuals. Relationships occur between individuals. Trends and generalizations can inform us about likelihood of certain things being so, but application is not universal nor can it be assumed so. That is why you have to learn to express yourself individually and why you have to experiment with what works for YOU.

There are women who each individual will appeal to.

Now if you are an average Joe you are very unlikely to appeal to a Victoria’s Secret model. That’s because of the difference in SMV and because water seeks its own level.

In other news water is wet.

 

[BeExcellent]

Then why add the "unless you're hot..." dis-qualifier to the Mode 1 suggestion? Why not just tell him to either gain social experience with just conversing about people or go bold with the "...sexy....want to bang" mode 1 approach?

Because for many women a hot guy is validating to associate with just as for many men a beautiful woman’s company is validating.

You are correct, irrespective of his looks he can get good at conversation, which is difficult for ASD people because they don’t catch social cues the average person picks up through non verbal communication, or he can leverage his looks which will help him if he goes Mode 1 bold move etc.

Because he happens to be better looking than average he will get a pass on the social awkwardness if he can camouflage that liability to some degree.

Guys who are socially adroit but average looking can easily go Mode 1 if they have a confident IDGAF attitude. There are several men here who have success employing the bold move without looking like Fabio.

 

[corrector]

Just for your information, bruja means witch, not escort.

She may as well have been one based on the extreme reaction I had. She is like the high priestess of the succubus and the fee paid was its incantation. Its like they channel it and they are not just putting on an act, they are chanelling molesting spirits.

However its good to see someone like. @GoodMan32 does not have that problem. But he does not visit incalls. Maybe some incalls are sex cults.

 

[corrector]

Or maybe you just felt dirty going to a prostitute and the guilt made you feel like she ripped at your soul, because you feel like you cannot get pure and clean again.

That would not have caused a nervous breakdown. I can feel dirty just fapping. Also I did not technically have vaginal sex.

What you describe would have been maybe one or two days, but not the whole month. I did not kill anyone. I was advised to go to emergency. It is obiously something else or dark about that particular escort. Its not a normal reaction.

 

[GoodMan32]

Well. Escorts are a reality. But. It takes no game or anything to get one. Just money.

One thing about me, I don't do well with uncertainty (Not just in the context of getting a woman; in other contexts too). I think this is a feature of my being on the spectrum.

The certainty factor (of knowing 100% the escort will give me sex) is one reason I utilize escorts.

 

[GoodMan32]

Hmmmmm. Ignored the old lady’s post. That’s Ok however understand that you are TOO focused on sex. Every man wants sex, duh. That’s life for attractive women. So direct focus on sex is going to be very off putting, a huge turn off.

Unless you are hot enough and confident enough to make a bold move, and by that I mean super bold, as in “You’re sexy AF, let’s bang” bold move.

And if that works you take the girl home, and while you take her home you ask her to tell you what she likes, since she must be a very naughty girl.

That does a few things. First it gets your intent out of the way as an ice breaker, second it gets you off the hook conversationally. If you get her home & don’t know what else to do, or if you are having anxiety to get hard? Tell her to blow you.

Tell. Don’t ask.

Now clearly you aren’t fvcking a girl against her will, that’s rape and nobody is condoning that. But the bold move can set you up to overcome lots of things if in fact you have the looks to pull it off.

Either way you can’t fumble around wanting sex, giving off the “Gee I’d really like to fvck you” vibe while coming across afraid of her response (or your own shadow) when a girl chats you up.

That is an inconsistency that comes off weird. It triggers cognitive dissonance which will weird girls right out.

Learn conversation or learn the bold move to seduce. That is how you do it.

Ignored your post? Umm, no, you'll see I clicked the like button on your prior post.

As for learning the bold move to seduce, you make it sound like the bold move only works if a guy has both the looks and confidence to pull it off. In which case, it can't exactly be learned. The vast majority of guys will never be able to pull it off.

 

[Plinco]

It would make a lot more sense (for both parties) if the woman would come out and tell us when they want sex. I can explain.

A lot of guys are reluctant to propose sex too soon (as we don't want to potentially scare her away). We're forced to read her clues of whether she wants sex.

Here's the problem, however: Guys aren't mind readers. I have no doubt there have been many cases where a woman wants sex from a guy, but ends up not getting sex from him (because he isn't 100% sure whether he should propose sex).

The solution? The woman should propose sex. Hardly any men will say no. The woman ends up getting the romp she wants. The guy isn't forced to rely on reading clues. Win-win for both parties.

Women don't think about sex the same way you do. Most women are tired of being hit up, not to mention they have a fraction of the sex drive of a man. Women by in large are not sex driven, despite what you see in a movie.

For women, it is all about the relationship. Even in one night stands, she does this because she really likes the dude and wants to bond with him.

 

[GoodMan32]

Well with me that tactic has never worked to get straight to sex, but I appreciate when a man has the balls to give it a shot.

All of the men I have dated seriously made some type of bold move. Something about me communicates class & value however so the typical bold move Id get is some variety of “You’re gorgeous, when am I taking you out?”

And that was the Chads, lol.

Mode 1 is more about attitude than looks. I know several men who are very average looking but could get a ******* or sex easily, like “let me go get a BJ & I’ll catch you in a few….”

It’s less about looks and more about attitude. ASD people are naturally aloof. That can be leveraged to one’s advantage as a guy.

But telling an ASD person to pick up social cues better misses the fact that the whole problem is failure to recognize them at all. It’s like telling a deaf person to listen harder.

So who cares what these Chads & Tyrones do. It’s a tactic that might work if a guy has the looks an the attitude, even if that attitude is more awkward than arrogant, both come across as IDGAF, and that is what matters.

With all due respect, you're sending off mixed messages. First you made it sound like mode 1 is a surefire way to get sex (provided the guy is able to pull it off). Then you admit mode 1 has never worked on you, no matter how many redeeming qualities the guy has.

I'm not looking for a woman to "admire my effort." I'm looking for a woman to drop her panties.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women don't think about sex the same way you do. Most women are tired of being hit up, not to mention they have a fraction of the sex drive of a man. Women by in large are not sex driven, despite what you see in a movie.

For women, it is all about the relationship. Even in one night stands, she does this because she really likes the dude and wants to bond with him.

Regarding sex drive, everyone is different. There's no hard and fast rule.

Are some men sex fiends compared to the typical woman? Totally. That being said, my sex drive right now (in my 30s) is a fraction of what it was in my early 20s. When I was 20/21, I would have loved daily sex.

At my current age, daily sex sounds exhausting (Don't get me wrong; I want sex. Just not daily. If, hypothetically, I could get all the sex I wanted, I'd probably pick twice a week).

On the other hand, I've heard many a woman say they want daily sex (or at the very least, more than twice a week). I guess what I'm saying is, many women want more sex than I do.

I'm going to close by saying you're 100% correct when you say a woman views sex as a bonding experience. Yeah, a woman can find many willing guys. But how many guys does she feel a bond with? Relatively few. Which is my whole point: When a woman is lucky enough to find a guy she feels a bond with, she should come out and tell him she wants sex (So she doesn't risk losing a chance with a guy she feels a bond with)

 

[FlirtLife]

Maybe it's the Scottish genetics in me. Scots are known for being frugal. The Scot in me couldn't stand the thought of the leftovers she had already paid for spoiling.

I have gotten laid for free before. I feel like coming clean about being on the spectrum would hurt more than help. Yeah, some women might be more understanding of my transgressions if they know I'm on the spectrum. Most women, however, would run once they heard I'm on the spectrum.

Also, since I'm able to pass for neurotypical, I'd rather not have word get out that I'm on the spectrum. As it is, people probably think I'm neurotypical but slightly strange. To me, that's better than being known as the guy on the spectrum.

If you pass for neurotypical, then you have mild Asperger's? When you say "on the spectrum", that includes people with severe Autism, and you're probably right that women will run from that. It's yours to reveal or not, but I'd say "mild Asperger's" instead of "on the spectrum" (and not on a first date).

I claim you could have turned the whole leftovers topic to your advantage by how and when you brought it up. When you invited her to watch the stars, let that suggestion sink in. Don't ask about leftovers yet (it's not like your fridge is nearby). It's better to say nothing about the leftovers after setting the mood, and then go from the restaurant to your rooftop. Spend time looking at the stars, and hopefully start touching and holding each other.

When she's in a good mood, you could ask "What are we going to do with those?" (about the box of leftovers). Notice this is asking, not telling. This doesn't assume she'll go back to your apartment, like your leftovers comment. You build up the mood - the romantic time touching each other under the stars. And then you ask about the box, which is really asking if she wants to spend time with you in your apartment. There's other approaches, of course - I just wanted to show a better way of bringing up the same topic (leftovers), but improving the when and the how.