The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MattTheW]

I don't usually recommend this to people but I dont think you are handling her manipulation by text to well......

You would probably be best blocking her number to be honest

 

[Darrenez]

What sucks is spending 7 years with someone and having great memories ...to them not being with them at all and not hearing from them at all. Done my 90 days of NC and haven't gotten over her so it will take longer for me.

Sometimes I'm really tempted to get in touch with her after all this time because I do miss her and I hope that she feels the same way however surely she would contact me or maybe she thinks I don't want to hear from her.

It was her idea to break up and it kind of came out of nowhere, we did go on a break before we finished. All those happy memories and I haven't heard from her at all. I know contacting her is not the way to go but you never know. I don't have her number now so I'd have to go to her place or message her through Facebook.

Need some advice guys

 

[Darrenez]

What sucks is spending 7 years with someone and having great memories ...to them not being with them at all and not hearing from them at all. Done my 90 days of NC and haven't gotten over her so it will take longer for me.

Sometimes I'm really tempted to get in touch with her after all this time because I do miss her and I hope that she feels the same way however surely she would contact me or maybe she thinks I don't want to hear from her.

It was her idea to break up and it kind of came out of nowhere, we did go on a break before we finished. All those happy memories and I haven't heard from her at all. I know contacting her is not the way to go but you never know. I don't have her number now so I'd have to go to her place or message her through Facebook.

Need some advice guys

OK well I sent her a simple How are you message over FB,now I know it is going against NC however I read this article : http://torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/blog/who-should-initiate-reconciliation-dumper-or-dumpee/

At the of the day, I had nothing to lose except a little bit of pride. Obviously I probably won't get news I want to hear but so what, I've been brave enough to take the risk of contacting her so what will be ,will be.

 

[MattTheW]

What sucks is spending 7 years with someone and having great memories ...to them not being with them at all and not hearing from them at all. Done my 90 days of NC and haven't gotten over her so it will take longer for me.

I was in a similar thing fella. Around the same period of time relationship. And then gone - nothing. It takes time, it's just coming up to the 1 year anniversary of the breakup for me - it does get easier.....

Sometimes I'm really tempted to get in touch with her after all this time because I do miss her and I hope that she feels the same way however surely she would contact me or maybe she thinks I don't want to hear from her.

I was exactly the same as you. We had a lot of stuff to sort out, a house, mortgage, finances etc
It took months to seperated everything - and I clung to hope all the way through the process......

It was her idea to break up and it kind of came out of nowhere, we did go on a break before we finished. All those happy memories and I haven't heard from her at all. I know contacting her is not the way to go but you never know. I don't have her number now so I'd have to go to her place or message her through Facebook.

Need some advice guys

Like you, it was her idea to split up. And mate, I gotta be honest, as you go through the process you'll finally realise and notice that she was slightly ahead of you in that process, so although you think you're 3 months broken up, she's probably more like 4.......

I don't really know how long nc I am with her - and I don't really care, we're actually on good terms now
And by that I mean she'd class us as friends, and I could talk to her without feeling anything for her if I wanted to talk to her but to be honest I don't bother.
Eventually you'll get to the same mindset as me, it just takes time and every time you contact her it puts you back a bit.....

You're obviously struggling a bit, 7 years with her to nothing isnt easy,
I suggest you start looking after yourself more. Get out with mates, take up some new hobbies, try some of the things you've always wanted to try but never gotten round to.

Get out and enjoy life - do not dwell on the past and don't dwell on her

 

[Ashte]

Confused ex boyfriend

Hi there.. I hope you can advice me regarding my situation..
There s alot of twist of my story.. I broke up with my ex boyfriend but i didnt think that he would agree.. We have this fighting and breakups always but still we manage the trials and be back together..but this time it ends... He dont want to comminicate with me and he avoided me.. I try the no contact rule but it doesnt happen the 60days.. Because everytime i do this after 2weeks he keeps on calling me and im answering thinkin that he would tell me that he want us to be back together..but it doesnt happen because he just say sorry and hi hello...and i found out that they are together with his ex girlfriend. I dont know what hapen but it goes like that.., after communicating with him we again texting and talking thinkin thatwe again can be together..but then it the same..so i did stop again all the means of communication.. For almost 4months we are like that... Having no contact but after two weeks or more than two weeks he keeps calling texting and want to see me.. I do always agree thinkin that we will be back because i really do love my ex boyfriend..i am thinkin that he will be my forever...but then it doesnt goes like that... Still he is with another girl but he is still texting calling me.. the treatment is just the same when we are in a relationship..the only difference is that we are not in a relationship right now.. Its too complicated..i do understand him that he cant fight his love for me because its against all odd. I am a muslim and he is a catholic... He also explain to me that he just chose what is good for both of us.. But i am confuse with what his saying and what his doing.. He dont want us to be in a relationship because he have his girlfriend now but he keeps seeing and talking to me everyday..the routine when we are in a relationship is still the same.. I really dont know what to do.. I am afraid that if i stop comunicating with him he will forget me and move on but on the other part im afraid to comunicate cause maybe he will realize and stay friends forever.. I really want him back.. Do advice me ..thanks..

 

[Darrenez]

Well I got a reply from her asking how I am, not sure what to say to this though. I want to keep the lines of communication open.

 

[Ashte]

Im starting my day 1... He is texting me but i need to imply this no contact rule to justify what he really feel for me..is it just friends or he want me back in his life.

 

[Ashte]

Im starting my day 1... He is texting me but i need to imply this no contact rule to justify what he really feel for me..is it just friends or he want me back in his life.

I just broke my nc again.. I reply to his text asking what happen and why his calling me last night...

Some advice please

 

[Noyou]

Well I got a reply from her asking how I am, not sure what to say to this though. I want to keep the lines of communication open.

She closed them with you by leaving you

Stop, don't leave them open, if she wants you, she knows where to find you.

This is a power struggle to see if she can still keep you around.

DO NOT FALL FOR IT! ALL OF YOU!

 

[Noyou]

I just broke my nc again.. I reply to his text asking what happen and why his calling me last night...

Some advice please

Keep NC. This is a test for his ego. Let it die.

 

[Ashte]

Ex boyfriend

Thanks for the advice... I really appreciate... And i understand what your saying.even if its hard for me i will start the nc again... I hope after the nc we will be back together.. Its really hard to be in this complicated situation.

 

[MattTheW]

Thanks for the advice... I really appreciate... And i understand what your saying.even if its hard for me i will start the nc again...

It is hard, but it gets easier.
You need to try and occupy yourself to take your mind off of him
At the moment he has his cake and eats it. He gets everything he wants physically from his new partner and still gets the talky stuff that he had with you still from you
Whilst he has both if these things he will never change the situation he is in, unless eventually he moves all the talky stuff to her.....

Don't put yourself through this (I went through the same thing, cut him off now and don't give in!!!)

I hope after the nc we will be back together.. Its really hard to be in this complicated situation.

Like I said I was in the same situation as you.
You need to stop hoping you'll get back together, as long as you cling onto that hope the longer it will take for you to heal.

Hypothetical - say you did get back together, what's to say he won't start talking to another girl behind your back like he's doing to this girl!!

And, for him to come back to you is like you are the consolation prize, go nc!!! Show him that he doesn't get what he used to have if he's not with you.....

 

[MattTheW]

Double post

 

[Ashte]

Thank you... I will be posting what will happen pursuing the nc,... Its really hard..right now he didint text me and its like he just text me when he need someone to talk... Im always bother of whats really happening.. I think your right.. I need to do this for my self so i can get over with what i feel...

 

[Genos]

It's now been exactly 3 weeks (21 days)...neither of us have contacted each other. It's been tough, I've been at some points grinding my teeth to stop me from sending an email to her...but somehow I've managed to keep up NC.

A problem I have though is that I'm constantly checking her social media profiles, twitter, quora, etc...and that may be contributing to me having hard time moving on...

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 1 out of forever

 

[Darrenez]

Update

Well after breaking NC of 110 days I messaged my ex yesterday on Facebook. We had a innocent discussion about work etc. So today I message her a simple message and she's read it but hasn't replied.

It was a basic how was your day message. I don't get how someone can read the message and not be bothered to reply even a simple message back would have done. Bang out of order tbh. I know we aren't together anymore but I'm hardly a stranger.

I guess I know where I stand and to be honest I'm not too disappointed I broke NC as the dust had settled between us. I just wanted to open the lines of communication and now they are back down again. I'm actually tempted to delete my Facebook account al together now so she doesn't have any to check up on me,not that she would.

Any opinions on this guys please.

 

[StuffofLegends]

Today will complete 51 days of no contact by communication of any sort but I still struggle to not occasionally see what she's up to through social media... About once a week I get weak and look :/

I just don't understand how we could spend 3yrs of our lives together and now she doesn't care a thing about me at all?!?! Why we she rather be spending time with and kissing another man other than me?! Makes no sense??? We were so close... Just needed to rant. Thanks for reading if you did. I'd rather rant like a mad man here than send a text to her asking these questions lol. Day 51 almost done but true hardcore NC starts over tomorrow day 1 of no more social media stalking.. God help me!

 

[Shaka]

Well after breaking NC of 110 days I messaged my ex yesterday on Facebook. We had a innocent discussion about work etc. So today I message her a simple message and she's read it but hasn't replied.

It was a basic how was your day message. I don't get how someone can read the message and not be bothered to reply even a simple message back would have done. Bang out of order tbh. I know we aren't together anymore but I'm hardly a stranger.

I guess I know where I stand and to be honest I'm not too disappointed I broke NC as the dust had settled between us. I just wanted to open the lines of communication and now they are back down again. I'm actually tempted to delete my Facebook account al together now so she doesn't have any to check up on me,not that she would.

Any opinions on this guys please.

Basically, what did you gain by breaking NC ?
Here is what I think (because I think I can relate)
You opened the door because deep deep down, you wanted to get back with her. You still had that hope and maybe you still have it...
I think it set you back a little, not a square 1 tho.


I was tempted to delete my fb account. But I just deleted her early after the break up.


Thanks for sharing btw. It reinforces me and the idea of never breaking NC.
Of course I still think about her everyday, even after 100 days something of NC. But like I said, it's not painful. I'll say I am like 80% over her. Now the last 20% is about not thinking about her. And it happens less and less as I keep myself busy.

@Cerwin
Damn man, you know, because of you and Darrenez, I THOUGHT about breaking NC. Just a thought.
Now I'll never do it and I'm good.
I'll religiously follow your other thread
Hope I'll see the progress, it will also help me I think.
Hang in there bro

best of luck

 

[Darrenez]

Basically, what did you gain by breaking NC ?
Here is what I think (because I think I can relate)
You opened the door because deep deep down, you wanted to get back with her. You still had that hope and maybe you still have it...
I think it set you back a little, not a square 1 tho.


I was tempted to delete my fb account. But I just deleted her early after the break up.


Thanks for sharing btw. It reinforces me and the idea of never breaking NC.
Of course I still think about her everyday, even after 100 days something of NC. But like I said, it's not painful. I'll say I am like 80% over her. Now the last 20% is about not thinking about her. And it happens less and less as I keep myself busy.

@Cerwin
Damn man, you know, because of you and Darrenez, I THOUGHT about breaking NC. Just a thought.
Now I'll never do it and I'm good.
I'll religiously follow your other thread
Hope I'll see the progress, it will also help me I think.
Hang in there bro

best of luck

Thanks for the advice pal. She did message me back but yes of course I want her back which is why I had hope. I did delete her from my Facebook but of course if I want to I can still contact her via message. This is why I'm tempted to delete my Facebook account completely.