The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[beatjunkie]

Don't be too hard on yourself.

We all did this before and got similar respond. At this point you can only be her emotional tampoo, using you untill she finds someone. Beleive me, you don't want this and I'm pretty sure that next time you won't make the same mistake.

Any suggestion as what i should do to get her back?

 

[HW1984]

BeatJunkie....

She is going to lay it on you cold and hard tonight. Everything she may not have said before will come out. Maybe it is what you need to understand that it is over and start to move on. At this point I would definitley delete all emails, texts, her number and throw it all out. Don't save it anywhere. You need to keep her out of your life. I would not go see her tonight. Tell her you thought it out and it is not a good idea. Swallow your emotions and don't beg. Let her go. You have to for your own well being. No girl will find you attractive in your current state. Be confident that you can get much better than her and that you will. Go out with friends, have a good time and do not focus on finding a girl, that will kill all your chances.

 

[Pasternak]

Any suggestion as what i should do to get her back?

It's hard to face the truth but right now, you don't have a chance.

As HW said, let her go, work out, improve yourself and when the day comes you don't want her back anymore.

 

[beatjunkie]

Guy i will go through with (if she doesnt flake) and tell her exactly how i feel. And if she wants to be friends thats fine. It will be a lot easier than torturing myself not contacting her. Im really not that type of person. I am 26 years old and have lived in 11 countries due to my fathers job. I am tired of losing people. I want to fight for her because she if worth it. If it fails then i can always say i gave it my absolute all. Hope u guys understand and know my mindset now.

 

[beatjunkie]

And another thing. I live and work in a small country in africa. Very small. Have absolutely nooo friends except her.

 

[HW1984]

We understand it and all felt liek that and still probably feel like that. I know I go back in self saying fight for it. The truth is she knows you love her and doesn't care. That's why she left. Fighting for true love does not show you care and is something that only works in the movies. Even if you beg her enough and she gives in you will not be happy for long, you will not have learned anything and you will not have become stronger... Soon enough you will be going through this all over again with the same girl. I am not saying that second chances never work but this soon and this depserate is a one in a million chance. In the end you will do what you choose, that's life. If you do go through with it show composure, do not be emotional. Say what you mean in a cool manner..... If you beg you are done! Best of luck to you.

 

[beatjunkie]

In my case i didnt show her i loved her...thats why she left. I was too much of a jerk and a dj...thattsss why i wanna tall to her.

I work with her and i cant seem to puke everytime i see her. Even if she wants friendship thats fine but i am not the type of person to hold negativity in my heart
..it kills me...history of clinical depression mates. Still poppin pills. I need to do this for my own sanity.

 

[Pasternak]

Guy i will go through with (if she doesnt flake) and tell her exactly how i feel. And if she wants to be friends thats fine. It will be a lot easier than torturing myself not contacting her. Im really not that type of person. I am 26 years old and have lived in 11 countries due to my fathers job. I am tired of losing people. I want to fight for her because she if worth it. If it fails then i can always say i gave it my absolute all. Hope u guys understand and know my mindset now.

Absence make the heart grow fonder. She's going to contact you if feels the same.

 

[yonggg]

thats true beatjunkie.

its better if u cancel the meeting,
but if u still decided to go,
act cool,
dont be emotional, or be an emoional tampoon,
its unatractive.

keep us posted. share what happen here and how u handle the meeting.

 

[Cheeks]

day 14

 

[beatjunkie]

Guys. No show or any contact from her. Flaked. Told her if u ever believed in me lets meet tonight. She said ok but nothig happened

 

[beatjunkie]

Here comes rock bottom agai

 

[Bling]

today is 4 weeks. feel a hell of a lot better. just need some new ***** in my life.

 

[Dgwizdal]

I SAW MY EX!

Hey guys, I hope you're all coping ok. I just thought I'd drop in to share what happened yesterday.

I was walking through the city and I heard someone call my name as I passed. I turned and saw that it was my ex. It was a situation I had dreaded and I felt my heart start pounding straight away. I've not had any contact with her since October.

We stopped and chatted politely and I maintained my cool. I was friendly and confident. She said she wasn't sure if I'd ackowledge her and I told her "It's all water under the bridge now. It's just part of breaking up, but I hold no hard feelings". We talked about what we've been upto and she said "I have to say, you're looking really good" and she asked to see my tattoo sleeve (which I didn't have when we were together).

I felt great. I've been working out and improving myself since we broke up and I know that I look the best I've looked for a long time. I also managed to maintain a calm and friendly composure, I made a few jokes and then I told her "anyway, I'd better get going as I've got a lot to do, but it's been good to see you" and we parted ways.

It was tense and I won't lie, I've been thinking about her a lot since and I still fvcking love her and miss her, but it felt really good for her to see me as this new and improved version of myself. I'm also glad that I saw her now, when I could be friendly and wish her well, rather than a few months ago when I was still crushed and bitter.

This is why it's important to channel your pain into self improvement. You just never know when you may run into your ex, and for your own sake, it's much better for her to see you looking good, well and happy, than for her to see you as a broken shell of the man she once knew.

Great job - you did everything right. Definately DHV. Maintain this frame because I guarantee she will be reaching out...

And when she does - no backsliding.

 

[rasj1983]

3 weeks or 21 days today...i'm feeling better.

 

[Cheeks]

Ok, last night she sent me a text saying she was moving out of her dads and the place she found doesn't take dogs. Said she found "a good home" for it but figured she'd ask if I wanted it first. She tried calling after and I didn't answer.

I don't want to respond but I want my dog...what to do?

 

[HW1984]

Get your dog. This type of contact is necessary. Dont lose your dog. Be casual and treat it as a random run in. No conversing. Light, simple get your dog and go.

 

[Pasternak]

Get your dog. This type of contact is necessary. Dont lose your dog. Be casual and treat it as a random run in. No conversing. Light, simple get your dog and go.

I would rather send a friend to pick the dog up if possible.

 

[yonggg]

if u send friend to take he dog, im afraid she will think that u are still afraid or weak,
but if u can make her belive thay u re too busy so ucant take the dog urselves, go for it.

 

[Pasternak]

Almost broke NC today. Found out she is dating the same guy whom she had an affair with behind my back. The man is a complete AFC, wanted to move in with my serial cheater BPD ex after only 3 weeks of seeing each other.

Pure hell is waiting for the chump. On the other hand, I'm still craving for the highs like a heroin addict. These women are the most dangerous creatures I've ever dealt with.