The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[tripod23]

just wanted to mention .....i had to see my ex today as she works on reception at a medical centre i go to ect.....didnt ring up just walked in she was there ..........i just said hi...can i make an oppoinment to see dr x .....she said sure how about such a time such a day..........the problem was iv just bought a house ......and i needed to update my records so i told her im moving soon so dont have a lot of spare time / she said youv moved ....i said yes iv bought a house and will be in there asap hopefully as im just doing it up at the moment...........she said if you cant make it at that time just ring up 24 hrs before hand.......so i said that will be a bit short notice as the oppoinment is monday.........she says yeah but if you ring me and pointed to herself .....i will make sure its fine and there wont be a charge......made me laugh its been 7 months since i give her a piece of my mind and went nc.............she seem surprized i had bought a house and am moving out of the area.........she also seemed to be fumbleing a little bit as well.............just wondered what her little tiny mind will be thinking................not that it matters as its over but its very important guys to keep your frame if you can when confronted with an ex..........plus its paramount you keep moving forward with your life and find happiness elsewhere...............

must admit i still fancy her ......but remembering all the shyt she tried to put me through made me feel sick..............funny how life takes us down these paths ...........one thing i regret the most is getting involved with her and being to much of a decent guy with her, but we live and learn.........good luck fellas keep focused and aim for your goals , missions , and dreams.................

one last thing i would say is that you should never let any woman get the upper hand.......NEVER.........otherwise you will look like a chump...keep focused on your future and stay as positive and as busy as you can..........and will see the light at some point.......

 

[Cheeks]

if u send friend to take he dog, im afraid she will think that u are still afraid or weak,
but if u can make her belive thay u re too busy so ucant take the dog urselves, go for it.

I decided to let the dog go. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of a response and I'm still too emotional to see her right now.

 

[yonggg]

I decided to let the dog go. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of a response and I'm still too emotional to see her right now.

yes, thats better.

 

[VenX]

Almost broke NC today. Found out she is dating the same guy whom she had an affair with behind my back. The man is a complete AFC, wanted to move in with my serial cheater BPD ex after only 3 weeks of seeing each other.

Pure hell is waiting for the chump. On the other hand, I'm still craving for the highs like a heroin addict. These women are the most dangerous creatures I've ever dealt with.

She had an affair behind your back. She CHEATED on you and has BPD. Be glad that it happened sooner than later and saved you time.

Just start from day 1 again, go NC, and move on. Things will get much better. You just gotta let time do its thing and listen to the bros on here.

Spin other plates. It'll help a lot.

 

[Pasternak]

She had an affair behind your back. She CHEATED on you and has BPD. Be glad that it happened sooner than later and saved you time.

Just start from day 1 again, go NC, and move on. Things will get much better. You just gotta let time do its thing and listen to the bros on here.

Spin other plates. It'll help a lot.

I've been already NC on her for 8 days. You're right, I dodged a bullet or rather a whole magazine. She was cheating on her ex husband for 7 years with at least a dozan men so the unmanly chump is heading for the slaughterhouse right now.

 

[Cheeks]

I've been already NC on her for 8 days. You're right, I dodged a bullet or rather a whole magazine. She was cheating on her ex husband for 7 years with at least a dozan men so the unmanly chump is heading for the slaughterhouse right now.

Why would you commit to a relationship with someone like this? Screening is an important part of pick up, you have to know when to pump and dump.

 

[Pasternak]

Why would you commit to a relationship with someone like this? Screening is an important part of pick up, you have to know when to pump and dump.

You get hooked in the idealization stage, when they seem almost completely normal. Beautiful body, filthiest porn like sex and fun you never had with any other woman. The manipulation skills are over top so you will only know a fraction of their history. You will eventually get emotionally, financially invested, try to nurture them like a child and there comes the BPD mindf*ck, push & pull, entitlement, lying, splitting, betraying, belittleing. Of course there are early red flags but you won't care about then until it's too late, even old seasoned members fall for these deamons and experience nervous breakdown.

 

[Cheeks]

You get hooked in the idealization stage, when they seem almost completely normal. Beautiful body, filthiest porn like sex and fun you never had with any other woman. The manipulation skills are over top so you will only know a fraction of their history. You will eventually get emotionally, financially invested, try to nurture them like a child and there comes the BPD mindf*ck, push & pull, entitlement, lying, splitting, betraying, belittleing. Of course there are early red flags but you won't care about then until it's too late, even old seasoned members fall for these deamons and experience nervous breakdown.

Makes sense, I've found myself in similar situations.

Ok guys, Day 15 and going strong. Got to make it through another weekend but it gets easier. I don't think she'll try to reach me again since I've ignored her last few attempts, so this is the long haul now.

For all of you who are doing the same, stay strong with me, I need you guys to pull it together with me. If you feel weak remember that there is NOTHING you can say or do in the end to make the situation better.

If you want to get over her but need closure, remember that she will never give you closure so you have to find it within yourself.

And if its your goal to get her back (which it probably shouldn't be), remember that anything you say or do will only push her away further, I don't care why you broke up, its the truth.

So don't pull that trigger, be a ghost, be the boss, and be gone from her life.

 

[VenX]

Of course there are early red flags but you won't care about then until it's too late, even old seasoned members fall for these deamons and experience nervous breakdown.

That was me. Saw the red flags, ignored them, and thought she was just immature and could change. 3 years later, she was still the same. When she dumped me, I was shocked and depressed for about 2 weeks. Then my mind began to clear up and I realized she didn't add value to my life and was a little girl in a woman's body.

There is someone out there who will love you more and vice versa. Just become a better person every day, let time do its thing, and things will get so much better.

 

[beatjunkie]

Day 2

Spent a long time rationalizing things. It not worth the stress. Joined the gym and just had my first workout. Feeling awesome. Spinning another plate. Learning not to take like so seriously. Enjoy the weekend everyone!

 

[drakeramore]

Hey guys,

My breakup was in November. During the time up till now I broke contact a few times, each time she initiated it. Each time I was quick and stopped the convo after some minimum exchanged information, kept it cool.

The other day she contacted me yet again (just to remind everyone here - she moved to live in another country with another guy), I thought to myself that I am now over her as I rarely thought about her the recent weeks. I just changed my job, am working out religiously, am looking great, am catching the eyes of a few girls here and there at times (although I still have not replaced my ex with a new girl which is holding me back but I just cannot do it at this point for some reason).

Anyway, so I decided to indulge her as I was in a good mood and thought what could go wrong here, I am over her for sure. WRONG!
She started telling me how awesome this new city she lives in is, how dynamic and fresh her lifestyle is, how she took up some new dancing classes, the works. And guess what - I started crumbling all over again, began feeling so down when I compared that to my life these days without her - striving to make it through, feeling lonely, dealing with all kinds of health issues, changing my job and trying to fit in in my new workplace, etc.

Needless to say that hit me and undid a lot of progress I had made regarding her leaving my life. To top it all off (as I was a bit drunk) I told her I miss cuddling her which I followed with telling her to stop contacting me for good as I have forgiven her and hold no grudges. She told me she misses me as well, our conversations, walks, my sense of humour, blah, blah and promised me she will not contact me again. She has promised that in the past as well but always broke it and tried contacting me again.

Long story short - guys, my advice would be to stick to the NC for as long as you feel you should and then some. Especially if you have not yet moved on and still have feelings for her, don't do this to yourself, don't hurt yourself more than she already hurt you. My ex seems to have some guilt still about the way she broke up with me and keeps contacting me to receive some assurance that I do not hate her. She has that already and has no reason whatsoever to bother me again.

Trust me guys, time does heal. I was close to 60 days before I broke my contact the last time and I began thinking about her less and less, I even started looking at the situation differently and saw her in another way. Yes, she was pretty but she was not all that great, she had her issues just as any other girl or guy out there. She was not perfect, only in my mind she was for some reason.

Stay strong, guys, learn from other people's mistakes, become wiser and respect yourselves.

Peace!

 

[Pasternak]

That was me. Saw the red flags, ignored them, and thought she was just immature and could change. 3 years later, she was still the same. When she dumped me, I was shocked and depressed for about 2 weeks. Then my mind began to clear up and I realized she didn't add value to my life and was a little girl in a woman's body.

There is someone out there who will love you more and vice versa. Just become a better person every day, let time do its thing, and things will get so much better.

Thanks for the reply. I'm glad you succesfully moved forward from the madness. At this stage it evolved into some kind of PTSD but I'm sure it will fade once.

 

[yonggg]

beatjunkie

havent hear from u again.
how u doing

keep strong bro..

been thinkig to text my ex, i dont know, i cant bear it if she need support.
i want to support her. she looks like a weak girl, thats why i want to support her, protect her, make her happy.

 

[beatjunkie]

beatjunkie

havent hear from u again.
how u doing

keep strong bro..

been thinkig to text my ex, i dont know, i cant bear it if she need support.
i want to support her. she looks like a weak girl, thats why i want to support her, protect her, make her happy.

hey yonggg

yea so i sent her that apology email. we talked, asked to meet, she didn't show up. tried again and she didn't reply. had a long talk with my bro and he shook me to life. there is no need to be negative and you can't force anyone to like. just be yourself. move on bro. just move on man.


been hitting the gym hard and will focus on myself from now on. also got a really hot plate spinning (a 9 from finland)

 

[VenX]

been hitting the gym hard and will focus on myself from now on. also got a really hot plate spinning (a 9 from finland)

I would just focus on improving yourself and spinning that hot plate. One of the best (if not the best) remedies for a break up.

 

[beatjunkie]

Guys. Hear me out. I'm hurting.

So I broke NC again and unblocked from FB and next i know im looking at a profile pic with another guy.

I msged her on ghat earlier and ended things amicably...then when i saw that i sent her a "" and she said sorry i found out that way. Couldnt stay at work as she works in the same building and i couldnt take it. Met her on the stair case on way out. Told me to come to her office. Went.

Lots was shared..told her the reason i was cold to her that week was because i found out mom had cancer (a lie) and i didnt wanna scare her till i got stronger. She said she wishshe knew that before. Wenttfor kiss..failed...asked if she loved the other guy she said yes and started talking to him in march. Told her look in my eyes and tell me if i dont love u..
She said u do. Wanted to hammer that in her head.

Feel i should mention here Guys i asked her to marry me mid march (was cold to her so she left only got a hold of her in
Midmarch...work schedules clashed)..and she said yes...that same nighted i cheated. Next morn i called it off...didnt tell her why. And then all this happened (chasing and begging, read my posts)

So when i talkd to her in her office i tld her i was planning to do it (wedding) and i told fam (a lie). She said she wished she knew but from the start i told her im not up for marriage and thatswhy she had enough of my coldness and left that week (hence me lying and saying mom had cancer).

In officr shesaid she doesnt wanna see my like this and would call me and txt me later (thags 4 hours ago). Guy she is "seeing" is long distamce relatiomship.

I'm a mess. Been chain smoking. Need help guys.

Feel like ****. I am a bad person to lie and do all this.

Sorry for the spelling and lingo..in a panic attack and hate touch screen.

 

[MarkDane]

Help...

So I fell for a girl I work with who had a boyfriend of 7 years at work. We started to message and meet up and she soon split up with him. For 3 months everything was going great and then suddenly she adds into a convo she is going away with her ex for the weekend.

Hammer blow!! Like some one rips out your ego! Feeling like such a loser right now and boy do I miss her!!The problem is she sits next to my desk and I have to ask her for help at work.

I now completed two days of the challenge but how do I play this on Monday at work? Help guys!

Thanks

 

[beatjunkie]

Read Above.


No Contactttt Man

 

[bigdrov1x]

Junkie...You need to take a step back and analyze this using just the facts, and no feelings. It is hard to do, trust me, I have been there before. If I am not mistaken, you told this girl that your mom had cancer to somehow make her change her feelings? Think about this man...you have to lie about something terrible to happen to your Mom to get her to show any feelings? Is that how you want to live your life? Maybe lie to get some pump and dump nook? But if you want a rocksolid relationship? You have to be 100% honest dude, if the bish wants to ride with you, then she will ride. If not, then get the fu#$ off the train bish. If you are living your life trying to get a girl, then you are doing it all WRONG!!! Hold the line NC forever. Your situation is too late for you. Make this bish learn a lesson. Man if all guys would stop being thirsty and put these bishes in place, this stuff would end practically overnight. Peace

 

[beatjunkie]

Bigdrov

I know all this. Deep down. I ****ed up major. Only thing left is NC and to live my life.


Hardest fcking part is having to work with this b. And im a smalll as country (less than a mill) and aint jack sht to do here. Hence feelin down as fck!!