The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Pasternak]

Bigdrov

I know all this. Deep down. I ****ed up major. Only thing left is NC and to live my life.


Hardest fcking part is having to work with this b. And im a smalll as country (less than a mill) and aint jack sht to do here. Hence feelin down as fck!!

Keep NC and DO NOT EVER stalk her on Facebook. I too have the urge every now and then but nothing good comes out of it. You will relapse, feel heartbroken seeing her with the replacement and most likely broke NC.

Loving him after only seeing each other for a few weeks? She must be really young or there was already something going behind your back.

 

[yonggg]

beatjunkie,

keep strong bro,
i know how it feels like.

i did use pity when she broke with me.
i said that my father and mom were fihtig so hard, that they almost divorced, but thats not lie, it was the truth,
but yes she seemed doesnt care much.

i chained smoke like, about day 10 it was so damn hard.

hw1984 hows u been?

day 30 now.
hey i have a question here,
which is better, keep silence, or bein indifferent with her?

if ur ex contact u first, u can do nc by simultaneously while being indifferent, like bein fun like u have no more feelin toward her, but in my case, my ex havent contacted me, so i want to tell her that im very oke in any way, i will think the way to bait her, and i will show indifferent.

i thouht about this since i have read few sites and posts said if u can act like u have no more feeling toward her, it will also make her crazy, but by being nc like what ive been doing, does it shows her that i hate or angry at her?

 

[bigdrov1x]

Hey Beat! All good man. The principle thing that I think you, and especially me need to learn how to do more is this: Love Yourself First! I am as guilty as you for subjucating my desires for someone else. It all will end like crap unless you learn to love yourself first. A lady is nothing but a sidepiece. I know it does not fit into any sort of idealized template of how a relationship should be, but this is real life, not the movies or an afterschool special. Wish it were different, but is is not...

 

[Pasternak]

beatjunkie,

u can act like u have no more feeling toward her, it will also make her crazy, but by being nc like what ive been doing, does it shows her that i hate or angry at her?

Remaining NC will make her little hamster brain spinning. Just try to remember how you felt in a similar situation. Being fun and casual will beacon that you still care and it will sooth her ego. That is main reason why she contacted you in the first place.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Forum, I just got contacted by my former FB that I have been in NC for about a month. She tried to call me before, but I did not answer. Now she FB messages me? I unfriended her, but she sent me a FB message. Here is how it goes. " I was in STL for almost a week, and wanted to see you. But I know and understand that you are mad at me. Well I hope everything is OK. ???? Everything is OK? I am mad at her? Who does she think she is? I am not "mad", I am indifferent to whatever she wants or does. Is she delusional? Should I write her back saying that I wish her the best, but have moved on, and to take care. Or should I just stay NC? A part of me is kind of schadenfreude that she is contacting me, but I do not want to give her any energy. So is remaining NC the best? I think that it probably is, but I just cant stand that this bish keeps throwing out feelers I guess. She blew it up, she killed any love that I had for her, now she is gonna have to live with it. The wall is an interesting thing. What a great concept!! Makes me want to put on Pink Floyds The Wall in honor of that. Peace

 

[Cheeks]

Forum, I just got contacted by my former FB that I have been in NC for about a month. She tried to call me before, but I did not answer. Now she FB messages me? I unfriended her, but she sent me a FB message. Here is how it goes. " I was in STL for almost a week, and wanted to see you. But I know and understand that you are mad at me. Well I hope everything is OK. ???? Everything is OK? I am mad at her? Who does she think she is? I am not "mad", I am indifferent to whatever she wants or does. Is she delusional? Should I write her back saying that I wish her the best, but have moved on, and to take care. Or should I just stay NC? A part of me is kind of schadenfreude that she is contacting me, but I do not want to give her any energy. So is remaining NC the best? I think that it probably is, but I just cant stand that this bish keeps throwing out feelers I guess. She blew it up, she killed any love that I had for her, now she is gonna have to live with it. The wall is an interesting thing. What a great concept!! Makes me want to put on Pink Floyds The Wall in honor of that. Peace

If you were truly indifferent, you wouldn't bother posting here. The reality is she has you reacting to her. A trivial Failbook message has your mind reeling over how you should respond.

This is why No Contact is important, it prevents us from humiliating ourselves and allowing our emotions to sabotage us.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Cheeks, I guess you have a point. I just will not break NC, seems like the best choice. But to address you as to not caring....there is no way that I will ever get back with her. It is more of me wanting to take the higher road kind of thing. But you are right, i guess by giving any energy to this, that I am not truly indifferent. Oh well, time will take care of everything of this sort. I guess i need to work on my other plates and just completely let go. Thanks for the advice and compliments, I really do appreciate it. Peace

 

[beatjunkie]

Keep NC and DO NOT EVER stalk her on Facebook. I too have the urge every now and then but nothing good comes out of it. You will relapse, feel heartbroken seeing her with the replacement and most likely broke NC.

Loving him after only seeing each other for a few weeks? She must be really young or there was already something going behind your back.

My thoughts exactly...she was contacting him behind my back. even if things were sour at the time. ALSO i just remembered i missed a huge red flag, she said in the beginning that she has never been single more than 1 month....

beatjunkie,

keep strong bro,
i know how it feels like.

i did use pity when she broke with me.
i said that my father and mom were fihtig so hard, that they almost divorced, but thats not lie, it was the truth,
but yes she seemed doesnt care much.
i chained smoke like, about day 10 it was so damn hard.

i'll try to be strong yonggg. really i am. had a sleepless night and havent eaten much but i'm trying to get better and will continue to do so!

Remaining NC will make her little hamster brain spinning. Just try to remember how you felt in a similar situation. Being fun and casual will beacon that you still care and it will sooth her ego. That is main reason why she contacted you in the first place.

at this point i just want this monster away from my life. this has affected me, my family and now my work. i need to get my **** together

Hey Beat! All good man. The principle thing that I think you, and especially me need to learn how to do more is this: Love Yourself First! I am as guilty as you for subjucating my desires for someone else. It all will end like crap unless you learn to love yourself first. A lady is nothing but a sidepiece. I know it does not fit into any sort of idealized template of how a relationship should be, but this is real life, not the movies or an afterschool special. Wish it were different, but is is not...

AMEN! It's time we all started being very selfish and self orientented. no one is going to save us. no one cares. just focus on you.

BY THE WAY;....she hasn't called or txted even though she knew what i was going through and said she will. what a monster. omg.

IN the office now. Did breathing excercises, taking my anti anxiety pills. will hit the gym right after work and come and sleep.

thank you all and i wish you all the strength you need to get past today!

 

[beatjunkie]

OMFG

she just contacted me. called me using her office landline (she knows i deleted her mobile and wont call using that in fear i may call her again...prime a *****). she told me to meet at the end of the day.

Guys read above. This story is a mind fck. I want to move on AND want to hurt her just as she did me. Advise on whether to meet her or not:

A) I can meet her and give her a piece of my mind as to who i know she exactly is...aka destroy her verbally
B) I can not meet her but forever wonder if it could've worked out if I had gone.

 

[funkychunk19]

Why are you bothering asking for peoples opinion. Everyone will say B. Stay no contact. You already have an excuse ready in B for why you want to meet her. Man up bro, I know its tough, but it will get better. You come first, get your mind straight. Dont let her ruin you!

 

[VenX]

OMFG

she just contacted me. called me using her office landline (she knows i deleted her mobile and wont call using that in fear i may call her again...prime a *****). she told me to meet at the end of the day.

Guys read above. This story is a mind fck. I want to move on AND want to hurt her just as she did me. Advise on whether to meet her or not:

A) I can meet her and give her a piece of my mind as to who i know she exactly is...aka destroy her verbally
B) I can not meet her but forever wonder if it could've worked out if I had gone.

I think anything short of her wanting to reconcile with you is not worth the meet up. Everything else is just breadcrumbs or more rejection and will ultimately hurt you more.

 

[beatjunkie]

I think anything short of her wanting to reconcile with you is not worth the meet up. Everything else is just breadcrumbs or more rejection and will ultimately hurt you more.

yes exactly. but HOW do i know she wants to reconcile if i don't meet?

i think she just wants to see me cause of an ego rush or to make her feel better.

 

[VenX]

yes exactly. but HOW do i know she wants to reconcile if i don't meet?

i think she just wants to see me cause of an ego rush or to make her feel better.

Tell her to not contact you unless she's serious about getting back together. It's going to be tough, but I think it would be the best way to go. If she wants to be with you, she will make that effort and try. Otherwise, NC should continue.

 

[rasj1983]

24 days, still in NC, i guess it's really over,she don't contacted me in every way possible, i blocked her in FB, and what is left to me is move on. Good Luck guys, and stay strong.

 

[beatjunkie]

Tell her to not contact you unless she's serious about getting back together. It's going to be tough, but I think it would be the best way to go. If she wants to be with you, she will make that effort and try. Otherwise, NC should continue.

she JUST texted me "how are you??"



gonna reply in an hour with "good, busy"

 

[Pasternak]

she JUST texted me "how are you??"



gonna reply in an hour with "good, busy"

Well played. Just don't let yourself become her safety net or emotional tampoo.

 

[beatjunkie]

Yup just sent her that. F that b. I.am.the.prizee.

Back from gym. Feelin on top of the world. Honest whoever is feeling down and is not workin out should get on that treadmill and bench press. Love workig out now. Even picked up some creatine! Endorphins should be sold over the counter

 

[HW1984]

Day 20 since contact..... 29 overall

Feeling good. She is still on my mind but the urge to call her is much more controlled. Everytime I want to I just think of what the outcome of it will be and in the end I see that nothing good will come of it b/c it will just be a pointless conversation. If she wants to talk she will call.

Beat.....

Keep up the good work. With the game she is playing I don't see why you would want to reconcile at this point. Don't respond to her attempts. It will only set you back. Get yourself back to where you want to be, the man you originally were before her. Only then can you clearly decide wether working things out with her is worth it or not. Nothing said at this point will help anything so you are better off saying nothing. Don't let this be a game because it isn't, it is your life. Don't let her control it.

 

[beatjunkie]

Annnnnd six hours later i get a txt

"Good to hear that u r ok !!! "

Sme ppl justt wont go away. Had to throw one last b!tch punch didnt she.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Beat!!!!! You sent her a text. You think that that will help? All it does is give her energy. You spent some of your time ( your most precious asset) to text her. Do not give her anymore energy!! She expects now to hear back from that. Just think, maybe she just got boned by dude, and is bored in the aftermath? Why give any energy to her? Let her hamster ass brain spin like a centrifuge. Trust me, the basic fact that she is expending energy to contact you in any way is evidence of that. Let her use energy for this. You save your energy for the gym!!!! Peace!!!