The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Tack]

Day #44 and I'm feeling set to move on whenever the opportunity arises. Truth be told I'm slightly disappointed she hasn't tried to contact me even once - she has gone NC every bit as much as I have. I've been working quite hard to improve myself (eat/exercise my way out of my skinny guy appearance) as well as focusing on my studies and it has all helped.

She broke up with me (I was honestly just becoming too docile and missed all the signs of it going south) and so she will have had an easier time moving on. All the same, a few more weeks and after spending Christmas with my family I think I'll feel great again!

I don't think I'd fall like a tonne of bricks were she to text me tomorrow anymore but it's hard to say given I've not had to deal with anything post break-up.

Blessing and a curse.

 

[Lotus Effect]

No drakeramore, Groverz situation is completely different from yours.

He's been NC for a long time now, and he did some changes in his life, sh*t that now can be percieved as higher value, like working out, and understanding lots and lots of stuff that he did not in the past.

Your situation is completelly different, you just want to tell her how much you love her, and how much you can change, and how you can make things work out if she gives you another chance.

The difference, to sum it up is, Gorverz has already made the changes, while you, you just want to beg her to take you back so then you can change.

He is so much different, that he even know that trying to tell her that he is a better man now, 'cause I know he already is, is going to be useless and AFC like.

Seriously man, I'm being harsh because the truth hurts. You have got to man Up.

Seriously, it is a joke telling her that she was everything for you and that she changed your life forever and that crap. Nothing translates to backfire as much as this!

Grow a pair! AND FOR F*CKS SAKE!!!

READ THIS!!!!!
NOTHING CAN MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR SH!TUATION AND THE SH*T YOU'VE DONE/ARE ABOUT TO DO AS THIS POST!!! IT IS CRUCIAL!

 

[Lotus Effect]

I don't think I'd fall like a tonne of bricks were she to text me tomorrow anymore but it's hard to say given I've not had to deal with anything post break-up.

Blessing and a curse.

Hey man!
Really nice that you are keeping it strong and focusing on yourself! That is the only way to moving on!

I'm also can relate to your situation as well. I'm in day 46 or 47, and it disapoints me that she is keeping NC as strong as I am. Of course, I did a lot of mistakes, and I went NC sending her a huge email, so it is only logical she would not contact me. (Even though she did "answer" the email, with a 2 lines message, 20 days after I sent it. But still) She's been silent ever since, almost a month now!

But what I want to tell you, is that any kind of contact from your ex you probably make you hurt. So it is as you've said, a blessing and a curse. Keep working on yourself, and be prepared. She is a woman after all, she has a huge ego that needs stroking, some sh*t will come by, sooner or later, but it will. So focus on yourself, for when that day arrive, you roll with the punch.

I can guarantee you that it is a punch indeed, because when I've sent the email to my ex, I've sent it with opening notifications, and every now and then, I get a f*cking notification. And it is hurtfull as f*ck, 'cause I know she is reading it, and she is still silent, so it is kind of a message. Anyway, I'm always good, and BAM! Notification, I feel bad for 3 or 4 days!

 

[drakeramore]

Mauser96 and Lotus, Thanks a lot guys!

I guess all the damage has already been done and I gotta live with with I ve done and how I handled the situation.

Live and learn, I guess. I will be wiser and hopefully more prepared and will remember this lesson the next time around.

Appreciate the support.

 

[mikey2012]

Even though I agree with Tripod and Machtwo about sending a card, I do not believe you should keep on blaming yourself man.

I said it a million times now, and I'm feeling like a broken record now. But here it goes again.

SHE DOES NOT GIVE A F*CK ABOUT YOU!!! YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE A F*CK ABOUT HER!!!

Let me explain.
Her father died right? Yes!
Were you aware of that? No!
Why you were not aware of that? Because she have not told you!
And why she haven't told you?...

...BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU!!! Simple as that.

If you meant something to her, the day the old man passed away she would have called you, crying, asking for your support.
But guess what??

SHE DOES NOT NEED YOUR SUPPORT!! SHE DON'T GIVE A F*CK ABOUT YOUR SUPPORT!!

Again, as I said a million times, her telling you "that this kind of behaviour is exactly why she left you. After reading your letter she thought you might actually be sincere about taking responsibility for your mistakes, but this text just proved to her you've not changed" is just and all about her feeling good with herself.

How? By makling you feeling like sh*t. And the dead father stuff? To make you feel worse.
Now she knows you feel like sh*t, and she is Oh so happy about it. She is mean. Don't take this like you are the villain. You are not. You've wrote on that letter what you've felt, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Her father might be dead or not but if your letter had any meaning AT ALL to her, she would have replied it ages ago. There would be no way in hell that if she got a letter from f*cking Brad Pitt that she would not have found time to reply. Her father dying is just an excelent excuse to make you feel like sh*t even more, and her the saint angel of righteousness.
Now, more than ever, she feels like you are nothing but a fearfull worshiper of her benevolence, and you should pay the price for judging her heavenly behaviour.

I'm sorry to say this. But F*ck her, and f*ck her dead father. To hell with him. I'm not sorry for him. I'm not sorry for any of them! Nobody was sorry for you and yet you still feel like it's your mistake. You can go tell her that your sorry and you were not aware of that, or you can send a card paying your respects. Both of them will just reinforce that SHE is right and you are wrong.
That you are the mean incosiderate ex bf who have no respect and whose SHE has to change her mind about your maturity because she is the keeper of everything that is right or wrong, and your little text just showed her, the goddess of all that is true that you are not worthy of her blessings...

F*ck that sh*t man.
Just go ghost already. Stop trying to mend a broken jar with spit. And the broken jar is not the relationship. IT IS HER.
She is a broken and problematic woman who only mission in life is to f**k little sucKers like you lifes so she can feel good about her sh*tty life for a while.

Be a man. Live with your regrets AND GET THE F*CK OUT!!!! IT IS OVER!!!
(this is also going in your inbox to make sure you will read it)

+1 rep. If she cared she would write email back. She don't give a fuk. Go ghost .

 

[mikey2012]

Remember this

If she cared she would still be with you. Even if you made mistakes she would would forgive you. Dont judge by words judge by ACTIONs. Women love to manipulate men with their sweet words. Dont fall for it.

Dont overanalyze. BE a FVCKING man and forget about her. If there is a 1% chance she made a mistake leaving you, you will find a way be together. Move on with your life.

You think she's going to change for the other guy. Hell no. He will be toast eventually as well and posting on SS.

 

[Machtwo]

Love this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ post #3929

 

[fuko2007]

haha mikey2012 thats a good one, like it alot.

Day 30 here. Guess you can say one month then, i heard around the one month mark it starts to get hard again. Well i started thinking of her more and more. But i look back and think , look at how you were before. You could not go a day let alone a month without atleast talking to her. Its been 30 days now and that gives me a little boost. The only other bad part is ive been a flakeing streak lately. I.E. ive talked to tons of girls but they all seem to be flakey, last time i went nc on a girl i had no problem getting the poone. Anyway guess ill keep trying , something is bound to happen.

 

[Lotus Effect]

You think she's going to change for the other guy. Hell no. He will be toast eventually as well and posting on SS.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Hahahaha! This is not because you repped me man.

But +1 rep for the brilliant comment!

Mauser96 and Lotus, Thanks a lot guys!

I guess all the damage has already been done and I gotta live with with I ve done and how I handled the situation.

Live and learn, I guess. I will be wiser and hopefully more prepared and will remember this lesson the next time around.

Appreciate the support.

Hey Man! I hope you learn with your mistakes indeed, but in my personal experience I will just like to add:

THERE IS ALWAYS MORE DAMAGE TO BE DONE!!!

So learn to master your emotions, and cope with the pain, because the weaker you are.with yourself, the weaker you will be viewed by her, and it will prolong your pain to a HUGE extent!

My ex dumped me in June and I'm 47 days NC so I'm telling from experience!

I've only learned because I've kept mistaking and damaging myself, and I only found this forum in October. So hold on, and use the info/advice in here wisely!

 

[BeefNoJerky]

Day 12

NC Challenge, Day #12

Though I haven't had any contact with her in 14 days, I'm on my 12th day of having accepted this challenge and it's been 4 days since she contacted me and I ignored her.

First of all, thank you @Lotus Effect for being a no-bull**** guy and telling it like it is. It's a refreshing change.

I can say, losing weight, taking care of myself financially and getting in meditation, ie, pursuing the things that make me happy, are so, SO much better than chasing the attention of a flighty chick who makes me crazy.

Thanks to you guys and to the NC Challenge.
BeefNoJerky

 

[Groverz]

Resisting the urge, tonight is going to be tuff. Major party night and I will be out with girls. I don't think I will run into the Ex I have an idea where she will be and I won't be in that area. Too bad she won't see me dancing with all the lady's tonight.

 

[drakeramore]

Hi guys, Lotus, thought I would write some more on my situation in the hope that I will feel better. Let's see.

It is getting really tough at times, some memories keep invading my mind, nice memories of the time I was together with this girl, quite nostalgic.

The thing is I did not want to pursue anything serious with this girl although she wanted to. She just turned 29 and is panicking in my mind and wants to do what most of her GFs are or have been doing - marrying somebody and having a baby before they turn that psychological barrier of 30. She had told me previously how her clock was ticking and she won't wait for me forever. Hence her going to live in another country with this guy. It could have even been a desperation move on her part, she has not confided in me about this though in detail.

Anyway, it is quite hard for me to relate to most women and I tend to be a loner. That girl was the first that I let in my world and as pathetic and sorry for myself as it sounds I don't know if I will ever meet a similar girl again. She was quite a nice package - the closest thing to a wife material that there is (in my mind and at the moment at least). So we were in some sort of a hiatus for the last 9 months or so. I still had not given up on us being together though, for some reason.

I am quite sensitive as well (this sucks big time btw in today's world) and am constantly trying to hide it from the people around me and from her as well. I am very afraid of being heart broken.

The most ironic thing here is that my fear of being heart broken and of trusting this girl with my heart 100% led me to push her away and to her breaking my heart anyway.

That is quite funny if you look at it objectively.

Anyway, it is going to be a rough ride and I need to stop making excuses for myself, I have some health problems and am prematurely going bald which also adds to my issues with my confidence. However, I am pretty jacked and, again objectively speaking, my appearance should not be the main issue here - the reasons for my insecurity and inferiority complex lie somewhere else I believe. I need to really man up and stop making all these excuses in my head (girls dont like you, you will fail here or there), this is super counterproductive and makes my life unnecessarily miserable.

I have enough problems as it is right now to make up some of my own as well.

Anyway, on with the NC. I foresee lots of moments of weakness but hope that I will find the strength in me to overcome them and to fvcking regain my self-respect as this is the only kind of respect that means something in life.

Thanks for reading this and for the support, guys!

 

[Renegade357]

How should I look at this situation? I'm not really sure, maybe she wants to talk or just wants closure, in any case my course of action is just to take those books and turn away from her. Fvck that sh!t.

Sounds like she wants to see you. When mine wanted to return stuff to me it was a "i'll leave them on my front balcony and you can come get them"

I had an ex girlfriend before her who I was 3 weeks into NC with tell me she wanted to return a dvd to me in person at my place. She ended up coming over to my place and we banged. Ended up getting back together for about 6 months after that until she screwed it up again.

It's confusing when you're fresh off a breakup. You gotta take what they say at face value.

 

[Lotus Effect]

To drakeramore... And anyone self loathing!

First off, sorry for the long post, but if you (or anyone in here) are smart, and want to get a little better, stick with me on this one!

The thing is I did not want to pursue anything serious with this girl although she wanted to. She just turned 29 and is panicking in my mind and wants to do what most of her GFs are or have been doing - marrying somebody and having a baby before they turn that psychological barrier of 30. She had told me previously how her clock was ticking and she won't wait for me forever. Hence her going to live in another country with this guy. It could have even been a desperation move on her part, she has not confided in me about this though in detail. - SHE MOVED TO ANOTHER COUNTRY WITH ANOTHER DUDE, BECAUSE HER CLOCK IS TICKING, BUT NOT FOR YOU ANYMORE. SHE MOVED TO ANOTHER COUNTRY GOD DAMN IT. IF SHE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, SHE WOULD HAVE PUT THROUGH SOME BS.

Anyway, it is quite hard for me to relate to most women and I tend to be a loner. That girl was the first that I let in my world and as pathetic and sorry for myself as it sounds I don't know if I will ever meet a similar girl again. She was quite a nice package - the closest thing to a wife material that there is (in my mind and at the moment at least). So we were in some sort of a hiatus for the last 9 months or so. I still had not given up on us being together though, for some reason. - A B!TCH THAT DUMPS YOU, PUTS YOU ON THE FRIDGE FOR 9 MONTHS, AND MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY WITH ANOTHER DUDE IS WIFE MATERIAL...? 'CMON, LISTEN TO YOURSELF. YOUR MARRIAGE WOULD SUCK, BECAUSE, I'M SORRY MATE, SHE IS A SLUT, YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT YET... WAIT A FEW MONTHS WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT. THEN YOU'LL SEE!! WHILE YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON HER, THAT DUDE C0CK IS TICKLING HER!

I can see that you are still too self loathing.

I'm also a sensible dude, I still miss her, but as I've said too many times now, the person you loved died. SHE IS DEAD! Buried under the ground.
There's a very much similar girl, that happens to answer to the same name you used to call your ex walking around in another country with some dude. But that is not your ex. Your ex is Dead. That woman is another person who is now living in the body of someone you ONCE loved.

But to further help you, here is an excelent excerpt, that helped me some time ago. The original is posted in this thread on page 173 for you to Rep+1 Dgwizdal

Decided to bounce around on the NC thread and thought this may be a good piece for you guys to read. I posted this about a year ago on the BB forum on my journey to become the man again after taking the red pill to help guys see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is still being circulated to this day. It is quite the read but i have been where you are at and worse. Use this as a catalyst for change and you will be stronger than ever.

Ok bro. Let me break this down for you. The reason she left you is because you have become a beta who stopped viewing himself as the prize and became predictable with no challenge. Relationship got stale and even though you say you were doing the small things which are cute, she wanted you to be the confident, challenging, unpredictable, smartass you once were. She is a decent looking broad so I would assume you are (or were) a pretty legit bro. The response to her text shows how off your inner game has become in the last 7.5 years and how much of a pus you have become. Please keep in mind that this is all said with bro love and the best intentions for you.

And believe me - she is getting her cheeks clapped by some other guy right now. You may not see it now - but this is an ok thing and as long as you take my advice and start being the bro you once were who doesn't give a chit about anything but becoming and being the man again, you will not only have her interested and attracted to you again, but you will be in a position to where you will not need her and be completely self content

I was in your position a year ago after getting dumped by a blonde bombshell more attractive than yours. Im 26 - and although I did not go completely beta as you did, I was still a wreck for 4-5 months. The mornings were the worst. The smartest thing you can do right now if she texts you say "I have been thinking and breaking up was the best thing for us - I've realized that I no longer feel the same as well. The relationship has gone stale and we need no contact for a long time so we can both move forward." This will be counterintuitive to your betaness right now but you will see my wisdom 4-5 months from now. Right now you need to eliminate all of her power over you in order to spark attraction down the line. Attraction becoming the bro you once were for YOURSELF, not her. Because at one point in time, you needed no girl and probably had a lot of them and didn't give a chit about anyone but yourself.

The sooner you start your journey the better.

Starting today, you read a few books on PUA. Don't feel like reading? check out julienfreetour on youtube. All free and better than David Deangelo and what not although they are good too. This guy is gold and will give you the tools you need Not to necessarily to get you laid or improve your game with girls (although intentionally and unintentionally it will), but to reestablish the spark in you and become the f***** man again. For yourself. To realize that you have the world by the balls and need no bich or anyone else but you to become a king of your own world The only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself. You feel like a phaggot right now because you have put all of your self worth on her view of you. Right now her view of you undoubtedly is a pus. However, once you let her know that you don't want her anymore and feel the relationship fell off - you will immediately feel more in control, have more control, and can start your new life for YOU. Trust me the only reason you really feel like sh*t is because you went out like a winey lovesick beta and she doesn't find that attractive. Flip the script, and get your balls back.

From there - start talking to massive amounts of chicks, lift, and fake it til you make it. Tease, make fun, be ****y/funny, witty, a smartass, bust balls, start being the prize again, flirt, be a challenge, and don't give you ex the time of day...yet. If she contacts, be polite, extremely short because you are broken up and that's what exes do. Do not be her b**** doorstep. Work your ass off - 70 hrs a week if possible and party your balls off on the weekend. Do not worry about anyone else but improving your money, your aesthetics, and putting your c*** in as much new strange as possible. And if you get rejected (by time you do about 5 months of this, you wont) on to the next one because you are the prize. Treat girls like dogs and they'll beg for a treat. Treat them like queens and they'll make you your slave. Obviously do not be a ****head but be the funny playful jerk who needs no one and watch em flock.

You're ex will eventually be beating your door down. From there it is up to you - by time you get to where I am, you wont need the bich and with how much you have became the man again in 6 months to a year, you will be able to play her like a fiddle as well as every other you have been banging. (SRS)

Getting dumped was the best thing that ever happened to me even tho I was on the verge of depression shortly after like you are. Woke up one day and said f this. I been wrapped up in this relationship for too long and need to get back to bein who I was and being the man again. Since then, have become the CSO of my company at 26, 6 figure, just bought a 26' express cruiser for lake Michigan this summer, became buff and healthy, banged many chicks including her friends, constantly banging 2-3 different girls, went on vacations with chicks, f**** a broad on the front of a Royal Carribean cruise ship on the way back to port like f**** Titanic and my inner game has improved 10 fold and I honestly feel that I've never been more confident and can have the world by the balls. So many new friends and stronger relationships with the guys and all this was unattainable while focusing on some 5 year relationship on the verge of getting married. Best thing that ever happened to me. And now, my ex can't even touch me emotionally eventho I have her swallowing my Alpha Nut on the reg as well as her friends and any girl who will give me 5 seconds to melt her mind with banter and confidence.

Be the bro you once were for you and you will see your life improve everywhere. Work hard at everything, Put yourself first and all else will fall into place. People flock to that sh*t. Best advice my good friend/father figure/gazillionaire boss ever gave me. And I was down as low as you - Make it happen player. Best decision you will ever make.

Sorry for so long but want to get this point across to all the bros who have turned into p****** and let some chick get the best of them. Never again.

Also, I keep saying read this, and you can't seem to have read it, SO READ THIS SH!T!! This will make you have a complete understanding about long term relationships! READ IT!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995

And keep going on!

 

[drakeramore]

Hi Lotus,

Thanks for meaning well and trying to steer me back into line. I do need it.

Although I don't think a lot of the above can be very helpful in my situation I do will take a few points off it.

Yes, I must always put me and my family first over any woman out there unless she earns it and becomes my wife along the way.

Second, I do start to notice some cracks in the armour of my ex-girl's perfection in my mind. (as I put her on a pedestal) Some of her actions, words now sound in a different way come to think of it as opposed when I first experienced them. I am more and more getting the idea that she used me as some sorts of a vessel to propel herself into some fantasy of her own or smth. I now doubt that she cared for me so deeply as she assured me on numerous occasions, more like she took care of what she needed at the time by trying to force me to be someone I was never in the first place.

Lotus, the advice you provided me with above is obviously in general and not suited to absolutely every situation. What I mean is that I still think my ex-girl is a good person, it is just that things between me and her were not meant to be.

I must not become bitter or spiteful over this, just simply accept it, let it be, affirm the NC between us and move on. Also, stop feeling sorry for myself and stop placing any guilt on myself over what happened.

This emotional breakdown, if I react in the right way, could prove to be the lesson and just the right medicine to shake me up, introduce me to the real world with all its glory and serve as a kick in the butt to stop daydreaming and start living in the now, work hard and better myself and not take myself and what I have achieved for granted.

Only problem right now is my natural predisposition to feel down on myself, feel low and not overly optimistic, also my being sensitive and too considerate about whether I am hurting others even if they are hurting me.

I will fight to change that and to never break the NC.

I think I will win the latter fight, I will see what I can do about the first.

Thanks again, guys!

 

[mikey2012]

Fvck these cvnts. It hurts I know but fvck them . These cvnts are heartless as in the Kanye west song . Don't let these cvnts have the last laugh . Push thru the pain barrier . What goes around comes around. If you were true in the relationship and she was being a cvnt then she will get her retribution . Karmas a *****. When she calls you up after been paralyzed from a car accident .. You can tell her to go fvck herself

 

[Lotus Effect]

Yes, I must always put me and my family first over any woman out there unless she earns it and becomes my wife along the way.

She cheated you. She dumped you. She did not bother telling you she was moving with another dude. Bottomline.

SHE IS NOT WIFE MATERIAL. SHE IS A MANIPULATIVE SLVT

Lotus, the advice you provided me with above is obviously in general and not suited to absolutely every situation. What I mean is that I still think my ex-girl is a good person, it is just that things between me and her were not meant to be.

I must not become bitter or spiteful over this, just simply accept it, let it be, affirm the NC between us and move on.

It is general. It was not even for me. It was for another. But you are mistaken when you say it does not suits every situation. IT SUITS EVERY DAMNED SITUATION. Mine, yours, or everyone in this thread fot that matter. EVERY SINGLE ONE!

You might believe now, but I can guarantee you, really, in fact, I can bet my ass on this one, that as time passes, you will see that YOUR EX IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. I also believed mine was. That my situation was different. That my ex was the exception. But she is not. She is the rule. And so it's your.

And I also bet that you will get bitter. Because it really hurts to open your eyes to the truth. But this bitterness is good. Eventually you'll then understand their nature, and you'll f*ck them for the bithes they are. I'm just coming home from a good f*ck with a 19 year old girl. Last friday, got a BJ from a 17 y/o on a balcony. It's life. They are like this. You embrace it, or you just keep believing in fairy tales, happy endings, and that your ex is not a slut that is gargling in c0ck as we speak. I know for sure mine is. Today is her day off!

Only problem right now is my natural predisposition to feel down on myself, feel low and not overly optimistic, also my being sensitive and too considerate about whether I am hurting others even if they are hurting me.

I'm also like that. Always seeing the dark side of everything. Always trying to put my self down. Not very much optmistic and never trully believing in myself...

Guess what? This is awesome, you will face the bitterness of the truth (aka red pill) with much ease. You will get mad, angry and frustrated very fast with the truth, which will open your eyes faster, and will make you embrace the truth as it really is.

--------------------------------------------------

Once again sorry for being harsh, but you,are acting like a f*cking pvssy. Leave the emotional stuff for the bithes.

You might not believe me now, you might be even angry at me now, I don't blame you. But sooner than you expect you will say
"Damn, that dude was right!"

But that is Ok. You can thank me later!

 

[drakeramore]

Hi Lotus,

Nice post.

Her reason for not telling me about her future plans to go live with this guy in another country was because (in her words):
a) she was afraid it might not go through if she told people left and right
b) she didn't believe I really cared/loved her.

I cannot accept either of the two reasons and am mad at her for not warning me a few months back and not telling me just 10 days before her flight.

Now she does not owe me an explanation and sh!t but a warning and honesty - she owes me that as I have always been sincere and honest and caring with her. Anyway.

I fulfilled the b) excuse the other day by telling her just how much I still love her, that she is the right girl for me, I was the one that fvcked up, etc.

After her very short and cold response along the lines of:
"take care of whatever you are going through, don't feel sorry for the past as there is no point in that, I won't write to you, and please don't write to me either, it would be for the best"

I felt a bit shocked as it was very rude on her part and a side of her I had not seen before. It was kind of eye opening. I feel like a stupid fool now, being so open and sincere with my emotions. I truly believed that she will understand me and politely try to encourage me to be strong, blah, blah, all other bs. She did not even take the time.

So, yes, I am a bit angry but mostly at myself, not at her. Angry for being such an emotional doormat. I dont think I can hate her, I have come to understand that everyone is egotistical after all (I too thought she was the exception and we were right for each other) and everyone looks after his or her best interest.

So that is what I should do.

I suspect she will contact me down the road, perhaps around the holidays.

I will reply to her, be as short as possible, extremely polite and busy.

Live and learn. Day 3 of the NC is beginning, I will try to make it count.

Thanks again, Lotus and all the other guys here. All advice is appreciated.

 

[mikey2012]

Hi Lotus,

Nice post.

Her reason for not telling me about her future plans to go live with this guy in another country was because (in her words):
a) she was afraid it might not go through if she told people left and right
b) she didn't believe I really cared/loved her.

WHO GIVES A FVCK. IT DONT MATTER IF YOU CARED FOR HER. IT ONLY MATTER IF SHE CARES FOR YOU. THINK ABOUT IT. YOU ARE POSTING THIS FAGG@T SHIIT HERE COZ YOU CARE FOR HERE. SHE DONT GIVE FVCK ABOUT YOU

I cannot accept either of the two reasons and am mad at her for not warning me a few months back and not telling me just 10 days before her flight.

Now she does not owe me an explanation and sh!t but a warning and honesty - she owes me that as I have always been sincere and honest and caring with her. Anyway.SHE DONT GIVE A FVCK ABOUT YOU. SHE DONT OWE YOU JACK. SHE DONT GIVE YOU EXPLANATION COZ SHE A CVNT SHE COULDNT CARE LESS HOW GOOD YOU BEEN TO HER

I fulfilled the b) excuse the other day by telling her just how much I still love her, that she is the right girl for me, I was the one that fvcked up, etc.
HAHAHA YOU FELL INTO HER TRAP. SHE JUST WANTS VALIDATION THIS IS THE WORST AFC BETA MOVE OUT. IF SHE CHEATED ON YOU AND FVCKED A GUY FOR A YEAR, YOU WOULD PROBABLY TAKE HER BACK COZ YOU ARE PHAGOT AND HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. SOONER THE CVNT WILL WALK OVER YOU AGAIN

After her very short and cold response along the lines of:
"take care of whatever you are going through, don't feel sorry for the past as there is no point in that, I won't write to you, and please don't write to me either, it would be for the best"

I felt a bit shocked as it was very rude on her part and a side of her I had not seen before. It was kind of eye opening. I feel like a stupid fool now, being so open and sincere with my emotions. I truly believed that she will understand me and politely try to encourage me to be strong, blah, blah, all other bs. She did not even take the time.
COZ SHE DONT GIVE A FVCK. COZ YOU ARE BETA AND WEAK. SHE PROBABLY GOBBLING BLACK COVK NOW. PICTURE THAT
So, yes, I am a bit angry but mostly at myself, not at her. Angry for being such an emotional doormat. I dont think I can hate her, I have come to understand that everyone is egotistical after all (I too thought she was the exception and we were right for each other) and everyone looks after his or her best interest.
YOU SHOULD HATE HER. YOU SHOULD WISH FOR HER TO BE INVOLVED IN A HORRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT WHERE SHE IS PARALYZED WITH ONE EYE AND A SLASHED FACE
So that is what I should do.

I suspect she will contact me down the road, perhaps around the holidays.
WHO GIVES A FVCK IF SHE DOES. SHE PROBABLY WONT COZ YOU PROVED TO BE WEAK MOFO

I will reply to her, be as short as possible, extremely polite and busy.

Live and learn. Day 3 of the NC is beginning, I will try to make it count.

Thanks again, Lotus and all the other guys here. All advice is appreciated.

DUDE GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF. BE A MAN. DONT EVER TALK THIS CVNT AGAIN . IF SHE WRONGED YOU SHE WOULD SUFFER IN PAIN DOWN THE ROAD AND YOU KNOW WHAT EVEN IF YOU FOUND OUT YOU WOULDNT GIVE A FVCK COZ U BE OVER HER. THESE ARE EVIL CVNTS WHO WILL GO TO HELL

 

[Casanova99]

After her very short and cold response along the lines of:
"take care of whatever you are going through, don't feel sorry for the past as there is no point in that, I won't write to you, and please don't write to me either, it would be for the best"

Well, to me it looks like the relationship is over. Do as she says, do not write her. The best you can do is to accept it and celebrate your new freedom, a new life is waiting for you and you can make it fantastic. Now you can do anything you want, new job, new education, travel to Costa Rica, surfing, sun tan, diet, meditation, meet 1000 new super nice women that wants to be with you. You will thank your lucky star for the break-up. Existence has plans for you and your old girlfriend is not invited. Have a fantastic time you lucky baster,