Machtwo
Don Juan
This I believe to be true, very true, but can my next mystery woman please reveal yourself!! :crackup:Mauser96 said:
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
hi I am on day 4 of no contact had a rotten day at work so to make my self feel worse I automaticly start to think about my ex... have these horrible feeling that he is seeing someone I can sense he is and I am usually right I haven't heard from him since he left its like he couldn't wait to get rid of me so he can start b ing intimate with other girls
day 1
hello all. i'm new here..
been with my ex for 2years until she decided to leave me as a cheatnig biatch she is.. it' s been almost 6 months since break up.. so after break up we were still communicating, having sex sometimes, fighting all the time but she never wanted anything more.. decided to call it off after i tried to get her back again.. wrote a message that i cant be friends and i wont talk to her again.. ok so i was good for a month or so, no contact and i was going out with a new girl.. and few weeks later: boom.. she calls all of a sudden and i was stupid enough to answer the phone... she comes here, acting all sad and tells me she loves me blah blah.. i try to act unnaffected, saying i have a new gf and that she should respect that.. she starts to message day after day and i was a bit sorry for the ***** so i say hey , wait a bit so i can sort things out eith myself... so after a while she sends me a message bragging how she met a great guy and she is with him.. i said okay.. so after some while she calls to meet up and i wanted to know whats going on.. ends up having sex with her, she says she diesnt love the guy and how she adores me.. we start to meet every few days until she mistakenly sends the guy a message that was for me.. she told me that.. and after that sjlhe starts to act cold, ignoring my calls messages everything.. i know.. i was being played.. feeling so ashamed.. i will never understand what does she wants.. so i had enough..told her i will not tolerate this **** and to **** off.. so i guess this is day 1 all over again..
hello all. i'm new here..
been with my ex for 2years until she decided to leave me as a cheatnig biatch she is.. it' s been almost 6 months since break up.. so after break up we were still communicating, having sex sometimes, fighting all the time but she never wanted anything more.. decided to call it off after i tried to get her back again.. wrote a message that i cant be friends and i wont talk to her again.. ok so i was good for a month or so, no contact and i was going out with a new girl.. and few weeks later: boom.. she calls all of a sudden and i was stupid enough to answer the phone... she comes here, acting all sad and tells me she loves me blah blah.. i try to act unnaffected, saying i have a new gf and that she should respect that.. she starts to message day after day and i was a bit sorry for the ***** so i say hey , wait a bit so i can sort things out eith myself... so after a while she sends me a message bragging how she met a great guy and she is with him.. i said okay.. so after some while she calls to meet up and i wanted to know whats going on.. ends up having sex with her, she says she diesnt love the guy and how she adores me.. we start to meet every few days until she mistakenly sends the guy a message that was for me.. she told me that.. and after that sjlhe starts to act cold, ignoring my calls messages everything.. i know.. i was being played.. feeling so ashamed.. i will never understand what does she wants.. so i had enough..told her i will not tolerate this **** and to **** off.. so i guess this is day 1 all over again..
FiguriingItOut
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I broke NC yesterday after she text me
7 times. I called her to tell her that I was moving on and looking for someone else. Kept my composure and didnt get in an argument. I'm certainly looking for someone new and hoping NC will work for me to clear my mind.
7 times. I called her to tell her that I was moving on and looking for someone else. Kept my composure and didnt get in an argument. I'm certainly looking for someone new and hoping NC will work for me to clear my mind.
I'm getting to the home stretch. Day 49, brothers. I can certainly say I'm at a much better place than I was when I first began this. I can go days without crying when I think about her (and I find that while I still do think about her constantly, the thoughts are more of a dream/nostalgic type in nature....not like before when I felt as if losing her was the end of the world as I know it), I get a little excited at the thought of meeting someone new (sometimes), and I actually have some good days now sprinkled in with the bad. The loneliness is still a b*tch, but I'm not really putting forth much effort to solve that problem so I really can't complain about it. Also, when I read other poster's messages in this thread talking about how their exes still contact them, I no longer have that envious feeling. Don't get me wrong..I still would like for her to acknowledge my existence, but I'm not constantly checking my phone or e-mail like I used to and really don't expect to hear from her again.
European-DJ
Master Don Juan
Day 2
Today has been weird, I really do miss her, and I couldn't handle not looking down her street (she lives 2 streets from my place, she moves there 2 weeks ago), and I noticed the other guys bike in front of her door - which was a knife to the heart.
Other than that, it has been okay actually, last night I has a blast with my boys, and today I have a date with a former F-buddy.
The thing is, I really wanted to write her, but instead I just wrote the message and saved in within my 'notes' folder on my iPhone. And I am not going to send it.
The biggest issue is, that I have no clue why I am missing her, except for the great sex, not until I find out will I be able to completely move on.
Good luck to the other guys, nice to see some of you at day 30-40+!!
Today has been weird, I really do miss her, and I couldn't handle not looking down her street (she lives 2 streets from my place, she moves there 2 weeks ago), and I noticed the other guys bike in front of her door - which was a knife to the heart.
Other than that, it has been okay actually, last night I has a blast with my boys, and today I have a date with a former F-buddy.
The thing is, I really wanted to write her, but instead I just wrote the message and saved in within my 'notes' folder on my iPhone. And I am not going to send it.
The biggest issue is, that I have no clue why I am missing her, except for the great sex, not until I find out will I be able to completely move on.
Good luck to the other guys, nice to see some of you at day 30-40+!!
expos
Master Don Juan
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30 days of NC after I split from my HB8 after a two month fling. Defriended her from Facebook right after she said "she wasn't looking for relationship" . Well, I responded with, "well neither was I". And that was the last time I heard from her.
Not a single peep.
I look at her Facebook profile every now and then. She used to update her profile pic every couple of days. Now, she doesn't update a thing. I had friend tell me she has been very closed off lately and not social at all. hmmmm.....
So glad I didn't fight to get her back. I was GONE.
60 days NC from my ex-wife after a *****y email exchange. Our divorce was finalized last November.
Not a single peep.
I look at her Facebook profile every now and then. She used to update her profile pic every couple of days. Now, she doesn't update a thing. I had friend tell me she has been very closed off lately and not social at all. hmmmm.....
So glad I didn't fight to get her back. I was GONE.
60 days NC from my ex-wife after a *****y email exchange. Our divorce was finalized last November.
Beyond-Birthday
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Machtwo said:
Yeah, it helped. I've been "POF'ing" for a bit and managed to talk to some girls, haven't met them yet but its helped. NC really started for me 2 weeks ago after I "deleted" her from facebook. I remember prior to that the first two days were hell. I didn't want to eat, or really get up from bed. This was my first relationship and the problems that arrived from are irrelevant at this point.
I also have been keeping myself busy with working out, finding a new job and trying to fix my life. I am still working on it, I know this process isn't some 1 day thing. I want us to get back together but when it comes to the concept of "love" I think its gone, like it really doesn't exist. I was recommended to first find a girl on the side before ever thinking of responding to that text. I get the idea of having something on the side so she wont be the center of my "life" but is something like that really necessary.
I approached this relationship the wrong way because I didn't have the right tools and from reading this thread and my friend helping me out, it's helped. So, if I want to message her, is having a girl on the side route the only option? Again, thanks for your help dudes.
Beyond-Birthday
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So yeah, I fck'ed up guys. I let my guard down and let my "emotions" get the better of me. I thought b/c I got rid of the attachment I can respond to what she said to me last night.
This happened, I responded yesterday text.
Now the power shifted or w/e. we'll basically this happened Me:"we did a lot for eachother. we'll talk later, my head hurts" and she responded with this Her:"thats fine. again im sorry i down played your efforts. its no excuse but im under a lot of stress. I said things in an inappropriate manner. I've had a lot of relationships but this time i can genuinely say that im more at fault here with the way i handle things. i didnt even expect you to answer me. i wouldn't have blamed you for not doing so but i had to at least apologize and do the right thing.gnight"
I probably ****ed it up without letting it simmer, I didn't get the lesson, instead I let my emotions get the better of me, I mean I "want" her back but I kind of didn't feel anything after sending that message. My problem is that I am trying not to care about the consequences which was wrong. It's weird guys but I failed the test, I still have some improvements to do and I am not going to message her anymore even though I did, Going back on NC again even though I told her I was going to msg later. I won't. I am sort of confused but not emotionally sad or whatever.
This happened, I responded yesterday text.
Now the power shifted or w/e. we'll basically this happened Me:"we did a lot for eachother. we'll talk later, my head hurts" and she responded with this Her:"thats fine. again im sorry i down played your efforts. its no excuse but im under a lot of stress. I said things in an inappropriate manner. I've had a lot of relationships but this time i can genuinely say that im more at fault here with the way i handle things. i didnt even expect you to answer me. i wouldn't have blamed you for not doing so but i had to at least apologize and do the right thing.gnight"
I probably ****ed it up without letting it simmer, I didn't get the lesson, instead I let my emotions get the better of me, I mean I "want" her back but I kind of didn't feel anything after sending that message. My problem is that I am trying not to care about the consequences which was wrong. It's weird guys but I failed the test, I still have some improvements to do and I am not going to message her anymore even though I did, Going back on NC again even though I told her I was going to msg later. I won't. I am sort of confused but not emotionally sad or whatever.
FiguriingItOut
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NC is tough, especially when an ex sends you an emotional text. You have to assume they are having a moment of weakness, even though it may be sincere. Either way, you'll drive them crazy if you stay NC, which, aside from doing it to get over them and move on, is a secondary goal of NC. You said it though, breaking silence gives them the power. I broke NC yesterday to tell her I was moving on and looking for someone else. I went NC today and she text me twice saying she missed me. Do I think she does? Yes. Do I think she will miss me more if I stay NC? Absolutely. I'm telling you, once a girl thinks you're moving on and her security blanket is gone; she'll see you in a whole new light. It's up to you to figure out how to handle things at that point, but you'll be fine as long as you retain the power in the situation.
Day 25 of No Contact:
Been over a week since I heard from her. I hope her plane crashes on her way back from Europe!
After 3+ weeks I still don't feel the slightest bit better (maybe slightly more bitter). I think I am putting too much faith in this 60 day test.
Been over a week since I heard from her. I hope her plane crashes on her way back from Europe!
After 3+ weeks I still don't feel the slightest bit better (maybe slightly more bitter). I think I am putting too much faith in this 60 day test.
Well it's been almost 2 months since my ex and I split...last time I heard from her was around a week ago saying that she needs to talk to me about something and I replied to her politely that I was busy that weekend and maybe we can chat when I'm free and wished her to have a good weekend but she didn't say thank you (rude), but to be honest I'm trying to avoid the conversation as I don't need to hear anything from her. I've already taken the mature step not to contact and terrorising her and let her deal with her feelings on her own. I'm guessing she probably seeking some clarity out of all this and/or going to drop the bomb 'I found someone else blah blah' in which I don't need to hear, if she does she can do whatever she wants with her life and please don't include me in it.
The fact that the matter is now, I'm so tired of thinking about her, not being able to touch and be with her has caused me on an emotional and physical withdrawal...I have been out on dates and went out with my friends, working out, Aikido training and so on so I'm keeping busy most of the time, the break in between gets me sometimes such as today, I walked the dog, mowed the lawn, talked to my parents now I'm left with the thought of thinking about her and it's annoying me!! Why oh why!! planting you heart deeply into someone and now they left you with nothing; I lost a best friend and a lover all in one day, it's ridiculous; we all made mistakes but if we're both mature enough surely we'll be able to work something out but I guess it's not my decision to make...
Low moment today guys and I thought I was going to break down while eating my breakfast but my mum told me to be strong and she will come back one way or another because my ex told my mother she really does love me but I'm not waiting for her anymore, I'm trying to move forward. I'm saving all my money and moving into another city at the end of the year and study photography so I will try my hardest to focus on that and just go on with my day-to-day activities...sigh* end of rant...
The fact that the matter is now, I'm so tired of thinking about her, not being able to touch and be with her has caused me on an emotional and physical withdrawal...I have been out on dates and went out with my friends, working out, Aikido training and so on so I'm keeping busy most of the time, the break in between gets me sometimes such as today, I walked the dog, mowed the lawn, talked to my parents now I'm left with the thought of thinking about her and it's annoying me!! Why oh why!! planting you heart deeply into someone and now they left you with nothing; I lost a best friend and a lover all in one day, it's ridiculous; we all made mistakes but if we're both mature enough surely we'll be able to work something out but I guess it's not my decision to make...
Low moment today guys and I thought I was going to break down while eating my breakfast but my mum told me to be strong and she will come back one way or another because my ex told my mother she really does love me but I'm not waiting for her anymore, I'm trying to move forward. I'm saving all my money and moving into another city at the end of the year and study photography so I will try my hardest to focus on that and just go on with my day-to-day activities...sigh* end of rant...
It is now Saturday where I am (12:20 am). Day 50 for me. I JUST started feeling slightly better like a week ago. It takes a while for some people. Others will say they start healing after only a couple of weeks. Just depends on the individual. Don't give up, man. Hang in there.BlackgumL said:
European-DJ
Master Don Juan
Day 3
I must admit, that yesterday was so hard; even though i didn't fell the urge to contact her, i was so sad knowing that she was Fvcking this other guy, so sad that she had moved on to something "just as good", perhaps even better, since it is new, and they didn't had the issues we had.
I called a F'buddy last night, the thing is, she has gotten out of shape, and i was nowhere attracted to her, i was actually disgusted by her; and the fact that i am moving on with so Low quality girls, and she is moving on with something great is really killing me...
I must admit, that i think i am not sad of the fact that she dumped me/cheated on me/decided that we shouldn't be anymore; i am sad that she moved on so fast, after 2 years forgot about me instantaniously, manages to ignore me and manages not to contact me. I am so sad that she is moving on, and that i am left like this, that she could do something like that after 2 years in a relationsship.
Fvck man, today is going to be hard, yesterday was very hard too; but i know i am doing the right thing, i am just scared that after 60 days of NC, she would not have messeged me even once.
I must admit, that yesterday was so hard; even though i didn't fell the urge to contact her, i was so sad knowing that she was Fvcking this other guy, so sad that she had moved on to something "just as good", perhaps even better, since it is new, and they didn't had the issues we had.
I called a F'buddy last night, the thing is, she has gotten out of shape, and i was nowhere attracted to her, i was actually disgusted by her; and the fact that i am moving on with so Low quality girls, and she is moving on with something great is really killing me...
I must admit, that i think i am not sad of the fact that she dumped me/cheated on me/decided that we shouldn't be anymore; i am sad that she moved on so fast, after 2 years forgot about me instantaniously, manages to ignore me and manages not to contact me. I am so sad that she is moving on, and that i am left like this, that she could do something like that after 2 years in a relationsship.
Fvck man, today is going to be hard, yesterday was very hard too; but i know i am doing the right thing, i am just scared that after 60 days of NC, she would not have messeged me even once.
^^^That was my biggest fear when I started this: that I'd go the entire 60 days and she wouldn't even reach out once. I'm at day 50 and I still haven't heard anything. I'm not nearly as concerned with it as I was 50 days ago. If you keep with it, by the time you get to day 60 you won't even care if she initiates contact or not...or at least you'll care a lot less...and this coming from a guy who spent a good portion of this no contact period pining away for my ex wife and putting her up on a pedestal. I didn't "work on myself" like everyone suggests....I honestly don't even know where to begin! Time truly does heal all wounds, my friend. Yes, you are doing the right thing. Anyone who can throw away a long term relationship like that and just toss someone aside without a second thought doesn't deserve a good man. She'll likely do the same thing to this new guy when someone "better" comes along (I know you probably get tired of hearing this, but history has a way of repeating itself)
European-DJ
Master Don Juan
Day 4
Today is my 4th day of the NC challenge, I think the mornings are the hardest, because I wake up and want to give her a hug, kiss her godmorning and laugh with her.
- I really miss the affection and the sex, and the way we enjoyed each other when we were together.
I don't know, I am just not feeling like the top of the pop, and yesterday I was like the most quit guy in the room when partying, I had this girl coming on so strong at me, and it made me sad, because I was comparing her to my ex, and got sad that my ex had been so slutty about stuff to.
Man, finding out on your 2 year anniversary that your girlfriend is cheating on you, and then she even picks the other guy over you! .. Fvck! I fell so dumb that she had the capability of manipulating me like that, and I would just plunge straight into every single one of her lies!!
Today is my 4th day of the NC challenge, I think the mornings are the hardest, because I wake up and want to give her a hug, kiss her godmorning and laugh with her.
- I really miss the affection and the sex, and the way we enjoyed each other when we were together.
I don't know, I am just not feeling like the top of the pop, and yesterday I was like the most quit guy in the room when partying, I had this girl coming on so strong at me, and it made me sad, because I was comparing her to my ex, and got sad that my ex had been so slutty about stuff to.
Man, finding out on your 2 year anniversary that your girlfriend is cheating on you, and then she even picks the other guy over you! .. Fvck! I fell so dumb that she had the capability of manipulating me like that, and I would just plunge straight into every single one of her lies!!
Beyond-Birthday
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After going 2 weeks NC and her texting me, I dropped the ball by responding from a text she sent me on Friday and decided to text her this.
Me: I wasn't feeling well friday again. I read what you said and we were there for each other. Things were done and said it happened.
Me: The love is still there, the feeling might not be mutual anymore but I don't hate you. You've been going through stuff not just financially. I've always tried to help out with that some how even if its with the little things.
Me: You're the first woman I ever told them I loved them and my first "real" relationship I ever been, I went in it following my emotions instead of thinking things rationally and calming myself down.
Me: and taking things slow but it didn't happened. I fell for you when we first met up in person after talking all summer.
I stopped..I know I ****ed up..big time. I got to maintain that composure I had, now i definitely look weak and my chances of "winning" her back are gone. I did start talking to a girl to have things fresh but I failed again. Going to try again. I feel so lame but have to try again but harder.
Me: I wasn't feeling well friday again. I read what you said and we were there for each other. Things were done and said it happened.
Me: The love is still there, the feeling might not be mutual anymore but I don't hate you. You've been going through stuff not just financially. I've always tried to help out with that some how even if its with the little things.
Me: You're the first woman I ever told them I loved them and my first "real" relationship I ever been, I went in it following my emotions instead of thinking things rationally and calming myself down.
Me: and taking things slow but it didn't happened. I fell for you when we first met up in person after talking all summer.
I stopped..I know I ****ed up..big time. I got to maintain that composure I had, now i definitely look weak and my chances of "winning" her back are gone. I did start talking to a girl to have things fresh but I failed again. Going to try again. I feel so lame but have to try again but harder.