Day 46 of NC. She hasnt tried to contact me, and i dont expect she will. I realized something important today. When I remember the way she _looks_ and the way she _fvcked_, I miss her. When I remember how she _acted_, how she lied to me and her lack of respect for me, I don't.
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
- Start date
Callah said:
Snap lol it's my birthday today too and was half expecting a txt from the ex saying happy birthday but it hasn't happened. I'm actually relieved because I know this means she's moving on and doesn't give a fvck about me, which is good because it means I can put her out of my kind now. And also I know I probably wouldn't have the willpower to resist replying and that would just set me back to day 1.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
This was my biggest problem too. Having other girls around does help cure this, but memories are memories.TwoDucs said:
she did text me but i did reply. it felt good! but unfortunately when i was out celebrating my birthday a mutual friend decides to talk about her or tell me she saw her out. ruined it abit for me. i naturally tried to play it cool and just walk away. i hate that that girl had to say that though.
well screw it!
well screw it!
nocontact160
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It's been on and off for me lately. Sometimes I feel really happy... but I feel I'm starting to think it all over again.
I'm starting to get obsessed again with thoughts like "will I ever be part of his life again?"
18 days of NC.
I'm starting to get obsessed again with thoughts like "will I ever be part of his life again?"
18 days of NC.
Shockwavedave
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nocontact160 said:
Stick with it. You'll get there eventually. One day you will wake up and laugh that you ever gave your ex a second thought
Day 50 of NC. It was getting a lot easier until yesterday, when a firmer colleague of mine (and still current of hers) mentioned without any warning and without my asking 'oh your friend is doing fine. She keeps talking about them looking for a place so they can move in together' (with her 'ex' that she supposedly had had enough of). WTF? Why would I want to know that? I asked my former colleague to please never mention anything about her again, but it was too late. That sh*t hit me like a ton of bricks. Then my former colleague says oh sorry, but hey its OK, she looks a mess these days and not good at all like when she was trying to impress you'. JUST FVCKING STOP TALKING ABOUT HER WILL YOU PLEASE?
The rest of yesterday felt like a major setback, but after a few hours, a workout, and a dip in my pool if calmed down and started to feel better. I hate to see her making the same mistake again, but now I realize it's not my job to White Knight and try to save her.
Ten more days. I'm starting to think I'm going to make it.
The rest of yesterday felt like a major setback, but after a few hours, a workout, and a dip in my pool if calmed down and started to feel better. I hate to see her making the same mistake again, but now I realize it's not my job to White Knight and try to save her.
Ten more days. I'm starting to think I'm going to make it.
Day 10
Hi guys. Back again! No contact since the last time. Asking me 'how r u' in a tezf message. Still couldn't even wish me all the best for my life or nothing so I'm not interested anymore! No break ups are good but when you give someone the opportunity to leave with a bit of respect and dignity for the other person and they don't take it, you realise how immature they are. Thanks to mauser who really gave me the kick in the right direction. I have no urge to contact her at all and I hope she never contacts me. I'm feeling so much better now! Don't give up hope! Things will get better no matter how hard things seem now.
Hi guys. Back again! No contact since the last time. Asking me 'how r u' in a tezf message. Still couldn't even wish me all the best for my life or nothing so I'm not interested anymore! No break ups are good but when you give someone the opportunity to leave with a bit of respect and dignity for the other person and they don't take it, you realise how immature they are. Thanks to mauser who really gave me the kick in the right direction. I have no urge to contact her at all and I hope she never contacts me. I'm feeling so much better now! Don't give up hope! Things will get better no matter how hard things seem now.
RedScorpion
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Let yourself stay in NC for at least now. You need to allow yourself to process what has gone on, and to let your emotions settle. It is completely normal to feel what you are feeling now. At this moment, you don't have to decide anything long term. Just take it one day at a time.
I'm not a doctor or anything, but I recommend taking a couple tylenol to help let you sleep, and get through tomorrow. I guess it helps relieve emotional/psychological pain, in addition to physical. Heard it from a medtech, and google supports it. However it still is a drug, so be careful with it.
I'm not a doctor or anything, but I recommend taking a couple tylenol to help let you sleep, and get through tomorrow. I guess it helps relieve emotional/psychological pain, in addition to physical. Heard it from a medtech, and google supports it. However it still is a drug, so be careful with it.
sandy12321
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Day1. 
Hi everybody,
this thread has been a very interesting read for me so far.
Was having a long distance relation with this girl for almost a year who apparently met someone local just a few days ago.
We were introduced to each other by a mutual female friend from her city.
We had some holidays in Europe together and a lot of calls, sms and facebook stuff.
Was planning to visit her next week, planning to sort of officially intensify the relationship, as I discovered things turned bad for me just a week before that.
The stuff you fear when you choose this kind of relations, I know.
She often feels lonely and couldn't handle that anymore, to some extend also understandable.
Just shows you love needs to be close and not far away, either she came here or I moved there (didn't even get to discuss that yet).
I was hoping to solve that by visiting a lot this year and have a fine holiday together this summer, she decided differently.
Got me a message which suggested this other guy, so I called back. Being "dumped" is one thing, but not through a message.
She stayed polite, explaining her decision and saying it's not that bad and you'll find someone else...but I completely lost control during the talk.
Anger and disbelief on my side turned into crying.
She kept telling me she didn't expect this reaction at all, and to be honest neither did I. She asked me if I would like to call her back another day if I felt better, well...no.
I was really shocked at my own reaction to be honest; yes, I know I live in the north of Europe and she in the south of Europe so what happened now was a lurking 'possibility'. But that it would hit me this hard?
The day after I was at work but I discovered I was just staring at the screen doing nothing, workmates even started to notice so I left for home.
Didn't know what to do really, write her a letter?...not write...
Wrote her a letter yesterday thanking her for the nice time we had and describing some other hits and misses, and that she was a love interest from the very start so her "lets stay friends"? I don't know yet, I need time and time will tell. Finished it off wishing her well and that's it for now. If it splits at least with grace.
And so you fall asleep very badly, wake up in the middle of the night because your thoughts are blocking sleep. Waking up you discover you are wall staring for a few hours.
I feel cheated and disappointed despite the fact I also kept in mind what happened just now, but in the end is she who quit and you that is alone.
All my friends in the mean time have moved out of my sight here in some sort of way, leaving me with some friends in other countries.
I have no clue what to do now, again on my way to the dating circus?
So that will be challenge for the near future.
I have no idea why I wrote this here, but it does loosens things up a bit
day 1 it is
this thread has been a very interesting read for me so far.
Was having a long distance relation with this girl for almost a year who apparently met someone local just a few days ago.
We were introduced to each other by a mutual female friend from her city.
We had some holidays in Europe together and a lot of calls, sms and facebook stuff.
Was planning to visit her next week, planning to sort of officially intensify the relationship, as I discovered things turned bad for me just a week before that.
The stuff you fear when you choose this kind of relations, I know.
She often feels lonely and couldn't handle that anymore, to some extend also understandable.
Just shows you love needs to be close and not far away, either she came here or I moved there (didn't even get to discuss that yet).
I was hoping to solve that by visiting a lot this year and have a fine holiday together this summer, she decided differently.
Got me a message which suggested this other guy, so I called back. Being "dumped" is one thing, but not through a message.
She stayed polite, explaining her decision and saying it's not that bad and you'll find someone else...but I completely lost control during the talk.
Anger and disbelief on my side turned into crying.
She kept telling me she didn't expect this reaction at all, and to be honest neither did I. She asked me if I would like to call her back another day if I felt better, well...no.
I was really shocked at my own reaction to be honest; yes, I know I live in the north of Europe and she in the south of Europe so what happened now was a lurking 'possibility'. But that it would hit me this hard?
The day after I was at work but I discovered I was just staring at the screen doing nothing, workmates even started to notice so I left for home.
Didn't know what to do really, write her a letter?...not write...
Wrote her a letter yesterday thanking her for the nice time we had and describing some other hits and misses, and that she was a love interest from the very start so her "lets stay friends"? I don't know yet, I need time and time will tell. Finished it off wishing her well and that's it for now. If it splits at least with grace.
And so you fall asleep very badly, wake up in the middle of the night because your thoughts are blocking sleep. Waking up you discover you are wall staring for a few hours.
I feel cheated and disappointed despite the fact I also kept in mind what happened just now, but in the end is she who quit and you that is alone.
All my friends in the mean time have moved out of my sight here in some sort of way, leaving me with some friends in other countries.
I have no clue what to do now, again on my way to the dating circus?
So that will be challenge for the near future.
I have no idea why I wrote this here, but it does loosens things up a bit
day 1 it is
Just dumped an older friend whom I felt was too condescending towards me and demanding of my time, and disrespectful. The last straw was when she mentioned she had another orbiter in a way I felt was unnecessary and disrespectful.
She asked me if I wanted to come over tomorrow to pick up some corn and I replied that "I am not interested." and have officially gone on NC. Felt the friendship just became toxic.
This is the second girl I've dumped within a six month period. This one is at least based on her behaviour during the friendship. As it's a friendship and she's way older than I am, we have not kissed or anything like that, and I've mainly ran errands for her anyway...I don't have any feelings like the first girl I've dumped.
Actually, I'm hoping this will get the first girl out I dumped of my mind more than anything else.
She asked me if I wanted to come over tomorrow to pick up some corn and I replied that "I am not interested." and have officially gone on NC. Felt the friendship just became toxic.
This is the second girl I've dumped within a six month period. This one is at least based on her behaviour during the friendship. As it's a friendship and she's way older than I am, we have not kissed or anything like that, and I've mainly ran errands for her anyway...I don't have any feelings like the first girl I've dumped.
Actually, I'm hoping this will get the first girl out I dumped of my mind more than anything else.
ANYONE THINKING OF BREAKING CONTACT OR FEELING THAT URGE TO CALL OR TEXT OR STALK ONLINE PLEASE READ!
I made it almost 30 days no contact. This was from day one of the breakup. Never called once or texted after my pleading and begging on the phone during the breakup but did some online snooping until I went FULL. I was actually starting to feel better, hanging out with friends laughing...thinking 'hey maybe I CAN do this.' Still thought about her everyday, obsessed but wasn't feeling as overwhelmed I guess. But this last week I got a text from a random friend saying how her friends saw my ex out with her new boyfriend at a bar and they know the guy and how much of a total chump he is. She was trying to cheer me up that this new guy sucks but it started a downward spiral for me. Looked at her twitter and saw all these posts about how "I only left because you let me" and a bunch of other similar stupid stuff. I tried to look at her instagram...saw that she had blocked me from it and I started flipping. Soon enough ANOTHER friend comes up to me and says something along the lines "Dude can't believe the picture she put up, I'm sorry. She's so stupid you deserve better." I start flipping out again because I knew I was blocked for a reason... I ask to see the picture and it's a picture of her and her new boyfriend holding hands with captions "I miss this handsome man so much" "Can't wait to see him again" etc
I was CRUSHED. Back to square one. Cried and broke down...I know that it's over for good. She started dating someone IMMEDIATELY and I have been sitting here for a month barely holding it together. I know she was talking to this guy behind my back before she dumped me. I know she was debating between us when she 'needed space.' I know all the crap she said about how horrible of a person I am was her validating her for being an emotional if not physical cheater that she couldn't own up to.
IF you are feeling lonely or want to break contact DONT. Please don't for me. Don't look at their profiles, don't write them back, don't ask your friends about them and tell them not to tell you about them. They aren't coming back guys. If they do it will never be the same. I know how you all feel. I loved her more than I thought I could ever love someone but its not returned and its broken. We all deserve so much more. We all make mistakes but this isn't true love. Let my situation be a lesson. Stay strong and don't break contact. Treat them as if they are dead and move on. Please message me or reply if you feel like breaking, JUST DONT DO IT its not worth the pain
I made it almost 30 days no contact. This was from day one of the breakup. Never called once or texted after my pleading and begging on the phone during the breakup but did some online snooping until I went FULL. I was actually starting to feel better, hanging out with friends laughing...thinking 'hey maybe I CAN do this.' Still thought about her everyday, obsessed but wasn't feeling as overwhelmed I guess. But this last week I got a text from a random friend saying how her friends saw my ex out with her new boyfriend at a bar and they know the guy and how much of a total chump he is. She was trying to cheer me up that this new guy sucks but it started a downward spiral for me. Looked at her twitter and saw all these posts about how "I only left because you let me" and a bunch of other similar stupid stuff. I tried to look at her instagram...saw that she had blocked me from it and I started flipping. Soon enough ANOTHER friend comes up to me and says something along the lines "Dude can't believe the picture she put up, I'm sorry. She's so stupid you deserve better." I start flipping out again because I knew I was blocked for a reason... I ask to see the picture and it's a picture of her and her new boyfriend holding hands with captions "I miss this handsome man so much" "Can't wait to see him again" etc
I was CRUSHED. Back to square one. Cried and broke down...I know that it's over for good. She started dating someone IMMEDIATELY and I have been sitting here for a month barely holding it together. I know she was talking to this guy behind my back before she dumped me. I know she was debating between us when she 'needed space.' I know all the crap she said about how horrible of a person I am was her validating her for being an emotional if not physical cheater that she couldn't own up to.
IF you are feeling lonely or want to break contact DONT. Please don't for me. Don't look at their profiles, don't write them back, don't ask your friends about them and tell them not to tell you about them. They aren't coming back guys. If they do it will never be the same. I know how you all feel. I loved her more than I thought I could ever love someone but its not returned and its broken. We all deserve so much more. We all make mistakes but this isn't true love. Let my situation be a lesson. Stay strong and don't break contact. Treat them as if they are dead and move on. Please message me or reply if you feel like breaking, JUST DONT DO IT its not worth the pain
day 2
not feeling that well really, still a stomach problem
Fell asleep late again, woke up way before the alarm clock.
The nagging in your mind continues, where is she now? what is she doing now? who is she with now? And you basically know all the answers already; i don't know, i don't know, not with me so i don't want to know.
Yet the questions keep popping up.
Yesterday afternoon I had a real low point crying for about 10 minutes, it just jumped on me out of nowhere.
No calls, sms, of messages so far.
Been chatting with the friend who brought us together in the first place.
NC unaware before reading all this here was a real eye opener.
I also put the knowledge packed here to previous breakups and you start to recognize patterns in the past, and its all true what is being written here.
They mess with you and you are falling for it. This was hopefully my last time.
not feeling that well really, still a stomach problem
Fell asleep late again, woke up way before the alarm clock.
The nagging in your mind continues, where is she now? what is she doing now? who is she with now? And you basically know all the answers already; i don't know, i don't know, not with me so i don't want to know.
Yet the questions keep popping up.
Yesterday afternoon I had a real low point crying for about 10 minutes, it just jumped on me out of nowhere.
No calls, sms, of messages so far.
Been chatting with the friend who brought us together in the first place.
NC unaware before reading all this here was a real eye opener.
I also put the knowledge packed here to previous breakups and you start to recognize patterns in the past, and its all true what is being written here.
They mess with you and you are falling for it. This was hopefully my last time.
sandy12321
Banned
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2011
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- 5
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- 0
How does NC work if we work in a same Team?
Totally understand your thought process! I was the samw for 5 or so weeks. I cried for hours asking myself how could she do this to me after everything we've been through and the amount of years we shared?! I was led on for weeks, maybe even months with at the very least an emotional affair with someone else. I thought she was severely depressed whilst making a HUGE decision to dump me for a guy she's known a matter of months! I did everything to help the girl I loved though the hardest time in her life and now she's 'cured' I've been chucked away because 'im boring' and she 'doesn't love me anymore'. Stick with NC, never break it. Ever. They dumped us it's not our job to chase, I did so for 3 weeks! Knowing what she had done. Because I loved her, I still do! I ended it by saying we couldn't be friends, wished her all the best and now I've disappeared. 14 days NC. Never will I initiate. Neither should you.westkust said:day 2
not feeling that well really, still a stomach problem
Fell asleep late again, woke up way before the alarm clock.
The nagging in your mind continues, where is she now? what is she doing now? who is she with now? And you basically know all the answers already; i don't know, i don't know, not with me so i don't want to know.
Yet the questions keep popping up.
Yesterday afternoon I had a real low point crying for about 10 minutes, it just jumped on me out of nowhere.
No calls, sms, of messages so far.
Been chatting with the friend who brought us together in the first place.
NC unaware before reading all this here was a real eye opener.
I also put the knowledge packed here to previous breakups and you start to recognize patterns in the past, and its all true what is being written here.
They mess with you and you are falling for it. This was hopefully my last time.