The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[astonmartinone77]

I feel for you, I'm in the exact same place as you, except about 20 days behind on the NC count.

It really makes no sense but you have to remember that the person you once dated is not who she currently is. You also have to remind yourself that she doesn't want you, and initiating contact will only pull you back and hurt you even more. It's best to just forget about it and more on.
And yes, it's interesting that I'm even writing this right now, because I don't know if I fully believe it yet. I know for a fact I'm not over my ex anymore, but maybe writing this down and conversing with other people such as yourself that are going through the same thing will somehow make this go away easier/sooner.

I also can't say that a day goes by where I don't think about her. Like I also mentioned previously and in my other thread, my grades suffered this quarter tremendously because of this. Today makes it day 32 of NC for me, and I'm still going crazy. Maybe it's because I didn't find this forum sooner, as I'm sure it would have solved a lot of issues for me and would have spared me the embarrassment of contacting her numerous times, talking for hours and hours only to get shut down again because she's just not interested anymore it seems. (and this is a girl that was head over heels for months, and told anyone who would listen that she will marry me even after 2 dates..)

God your story sounds so similar to mine. I'm not sure of your story exactly, or the timeframe of events. But good lord, isn't it so bizarre how an ex could be oh so attached to you for so long then just all of a sudden not care about you at all? I have been going crazy trying to figure this out for myself for quite some time.

I WOULD like to know more about how you are coping with this whole situation more I feel that it could be useful to have two people with similar situations talk about this. Is it possible that we could PM regarding this? I tried to PM you before but it gave me an error message thing.

I wish you luck buddy! It's all just in how much effort we put in and how serious we are about moving on!

WE GOT THIS!

 

[astonmartinone77]

I apologize in advance for the overposting I have done. What’s that, like six posts in two days? I have been posting things on here as I am thinking of them because I have found I have a rather **** memory especially when it comes to feelings and ideas I have.

I think about it too much. I’ve now realized that every single time I am upset/sad/miss her, is because I start to doubt the system because of the specific parts I had to modify about it such as the timeframe of no contact, unfortunately. I suppose that I’m afraid she HAS moved on without me and has no intention of getting back with me. But if you go back and read my story, I hope you find that as unlikely as I do.

For example, today, day 16 of not having any contact, but only day 2 since I officially read up on the no contact rule and decided to implement it, nothing at all bad happened to me. I didn’t see her at all, I didn’t see her talking to a guy, didn’t see her having fun or being happy... I just saw a tweet she made about how she misses her two best friends in school today who both happened to be on a field trip or something. I realized I forgot to unfollow her on twitter and Instagram when I saw this, so I did that. But another interesting note to make is that she hardly ever tweeted before when we were together, maybe she sent four tweets, and now in just the last ten days she has sent ten. I don’t know, take that how you may. But anyways, getting all back to the point i was trying to make a few sentences ago, literally nothing bad happened to me, in fact, you could count that realization i made with twitter as a good thing, and yet, I started overthinking things once I got home and now feel rather like crap.

So even though I have very little that should convince me that she has moved on, I keep trying to tell myself she has and that the no contact rule is useless at this point...

I just need to keep going with this though, the way my brain is, I spend about 80% of my time moping and trying to figure out how I should go about getting over her an then the other 20% of the time, I feel I have made some revelation about some way that WILL work this time to get over her. And for the next few hours, sometimes maybe if I’m lucky, a day, I am happy and I enjoy what I’m doing without thinking of her much at all.

But, as I said, those moments don’t come too often. It’s just this internal struggle I keep having with myself regarding if this is the right/best thing I should be doing right now.
“maybe she has already moved on”
“maybe she will forget about me if I do this”
“we might not get in contact before Prom, and I will have no one to go with”
and on and on and on......

I am, however, still VERY hopeful that this method will work. As much as I say I miss her, I know in my mind that I really would like to move on from her and find someone else, better myself physically, have fun, etc. etc. etc...

It’s a struggle every day, but I hope that with the help of this forum, you guys, and a couple of friends I trust, I feel that I can get through this!

Thanks so much, if you actually read all of that. I go on and on way too much. Once I start, I can’t stop.

 

[RCJH]

Starting the challenge!!!!

Hi everyone, new to the forum and starting the 30 day challenge. This will be pt 1 to explain a little about the situation. Then pt 2 will be starting the challenge.

So just a quick story of that last couple of weeks. I will warn you guys and apologize cuz it will be long but this will give people a better idea and hopefully better assist me. I am 25 and she is 26. My ex of 7 months broke up with me 2 days ago. Prior to the official break up we broke up for a a week and a half (I did the breaking up). I immediately felt sick to my stomach and wanted her back. So during the week I asked and begged for her back and told her I made a mistake. She kept on saying she needs to think about and we would still text each other quite often and talk on the phone before going to bed. I broke up with her on a Tuesday and we got back the next Sat night. I took her out to dinner and we talked a bit and decided to get back together.

Anyways we got back together and a week later we had a small fight then the following Friday night we went out to a Mexican restaurant with her mom, her moms bf, and her son (6 yrs old) to watch the bball game. Now the plan was we were gonna watch the game and go out to the bars with some co workers. Well once the game ended I asked who was all gonna be up there and she told me and she mentioned a guys hame I did not like had had a bad gut feeling about (I will give a little background on him a little later). So once I found out he was there I decided I was not gonna go which might of been a mistake on my end. So anyway we get to the bar as I drop her off and we talk a little bit and I asked her about the guy I don't like and said I know they have been talking a lot and I ask her if she had feelings for him or developing feeling for him and she said no and they are just friends. Anyways we talk a little bit more and I told her I would come get her when shes done and she said she would text/call me.

So I go over to a buddies and hangout with some buds well my emotions got the best of me and I sent her a text about the guy again and said I had a bad feeling and that she had feeling for him but she ignored the text. Well the night started to end and people were leaving. So I decided I was just gonna head up to the bar they were at since it was close to last call and the plan was still me picking her up. So I get there and walk in and see her and the guy talking and she was kinda touchy feely with him (she kinda gets that way when she is drunk) I brushed it off and went to say hi and she didn't seem happy or wanted to see me. We talked for a little bit and I kept bring up the guy. A little later a "mutual friend" more so hers then mine said I don't know what the deal is between you 2 but she said she was getting irritated with you so I will take her where she needs to go and ill make sure she's safe. So I go over and talk to her and then I asked her if she still wanted to be in the relationship and she said "no" she was pretty drunk but that doesn't matter and I probably shouldn't have had that talk. Now quick story about the guy is I had a gut feeling they she might have or developing feelings for this guy as I know they talk almost everyday via text and it started when we were broken up for the week and a half but she said they are just friends.

Now rewinding back a little bit I texted her Friday night asking is she meant it when she said said "no" when I asked her if she still wanted this relationship and a few other rants. I got no response. Anyways, she had left her car at my house that Friday day and I knew she had to come get it when she had to go home. So I texted her Saturday day after i haven't gottan a response and I said I guess I don't get a proper closure and that I will have her stuff so she can get it when she gets her car or I'll just bring it to her Monday at work (No response).

So around noon I walk outside to have a smoke and she just so happen to just got dropped off and she was getting in her car and I did the wtf arm gesture as she was backing out and as she was pulling away she rolled her window down and said I will get my stuff Monday I'm in a hurry. She then texted me a few min later and said I will talk to you later I'm in a hurry. So I don't respond and later in the day I texted her asking if she meant what she said and she said yeah and that we have problems and as much as she wanted it, it probably wont work. So I said something along the lines of we didn't really talk about our problems and that we should give up on something we aren't sure about. So she responded with Yeah and that we will have some time to talk Sunday night(Easter) if I wanted to come over and talk things over. So I said yeah and she said okay. Then she texted me and asked why the fight started and I told her what happened (a lot more happened then what was typed). So then I asked her if he stayed at the guys house, did anything happened, etc... and she said no to all.

So come Easter Sunday I ended up spending it with her and her moms side of the family. Now we were still broken up but no one knew besides her mom, her moms bf, and her sisters and sisters bf. Anyways I showed up a little later and she rode with me on the way back.

The drive was about 1 hr and a half so we decided to have the talk on the drive. So we talked about our issues and the things that we needed to work on. While having the convo I made it real clear that we need to be honest w/ each other as trust issue was a problem of ours. So I asked about Friday night, where she stayed, and the same question about feeling for that guy. So I found out that night she stayed at the guys place (She told me after I confronted her a few times and asked where she stayed and her lying about it). So I then asked her if anything happened and she said no and asked again if she had feeling for him and she said no.

We get back to the house and we talk a little more and decide that we were gonna go on a break instead on breaking up and we set ground rules. So we kiss kinda make up and I left later that night and she said I love you gave me a kiss and I went home. We talked on the phone for a little when I got home.

Now the biggest problem is that I still had strong gut feelings that she has or is developing feelings for this guy and I couldn't leave it alone. Well anyways we talked Monday but not as much and Tuesday I brought it up again and she said she had no idea where I'm getting the idea and that its not like she is doing anything for me to think that and that it would be best if we ended it as its too much stress for the both of us. So I said okay and despite everything I still loved her and cared for her and hope one day we could get back together but we'll let time take its course. She responded with I still love you. Now we talked a little bit through text and later that night I typed a long email to her about forgiving and trusting, her and the guy, and if she has completely shut the door. She responded we a pretty short email saying the email meant a lot to her, that the door isn't completely shut, and that she really does still love me blah blah blah.

So Wednesday we don't talk all day and towards the end of the day she texted me about opening game tickets and if she should just give me my money back. I said it was up to her and she said well I didn't think you would be coming with us if we aren't together. I responded with maybe I enjoy your families company. She didn't respond for awhile so I texted her back saying I guess not. She then responded with I just figured it would be best if we didn't go together but I don't care. I responded with I took the day off planned on going and looking forward to it. She said okay. So later that night I talk to friends and they said it would be a bad idea. I then texted her saying I thought about it and it would be awkward and $25 for the ticket is cool and that she can just give me the money for the rest of the tickets so we don't have to discuss those at a later date. She responded with okay and after I talk to my friends with her actions and what she had said she had moved on already and I kind of already knew that in my heart /gut. So last night was when I decided to start NC after been reading this forum.

Pt. 2 coming up shortly

 

[RCJH]

Pt 2

So after deciding the NC challenge I did not attempt to text her or anything.

Now we do work together and I dressed up on purpose. We saw each other and had an awkward stare and then she texted me shortly after and it said,

"You never dressed like that when we were dating. Are you trying to impress people again" as bad as I wanted to replay I DID NOT.

So after not responding to her for a few hours. She sends another text saying ' Guess we are not on speaking terms anymore. I will get you your stuff soon and I can get mine at the same time"

I didnt respond for a little while and then I responded with. 'Its not that. Its difficult enough we work together so from 8-5 thats my focus. Dont want to make it uncomfortable for you and me. So we can talk about exchanging our things after 5, ok?

She responded with "Not tonight im busy but ok "my name"

So I didnt text her back and when she comes to me im gonna be busy.

I dont know if I broke the NC rule/challenge or if I said the right thing but I would like some advice and input please and thank you.

I just found out she went over to his house tonight from a friend.

Quick update. I just got a text at 12:30 in the morning saying "Looks like it is fb official that we are single." Which I actually changed at 8 in the morning while I was at work and I know she's been on fb multiple times since then and now just texts me about it? I will not be responding.


Edit: Ummm not sure why Pt 1 didnt post and I just tried again with no luck. Both times it said something about the admin?

 

[RedScorpion]

Hey all,

One month NC for me. Can definitely say I'm going through different phases for this one. Was feeling pretty content for a little while, then got a big long term stressor from work, and it shifted straight to resentment about her. Definitely no warm feelings there.

All I want is to just not think about it or her. I don't think it's even about her anymore, it feels like I'm just trying to fill in this gap in me and that's the shape that fits it most. Wish everything and NC was working good and steady (as it has before), gotta press on.

 

[L_T_D313]

Well I have sort of thought of more details to add/questions I hope to get advice on....

So after reading the entirety of the No Contact Rule, I realize that this is assuming you can initiate it yourself, and if you read my story, you will see that I've sort of started it without telling her and the last time I talked to her wasn't exactly on a strong note. And I'm sort of afraid I will lose all of my progress of the last two weeks if I just start over now PROPERLY. Because I fear the results won't be as good with the way we stopped talking. Because after two weeks of not talking, I can't exactly get up and text her "hey i think we should stop talking" haha

The reason I hope to maybe alter the rules here a little bit is because I don't HAVE two months to not talk, I sort of would like to be able to talk to her about Prom as soon as possible, but of course, if that doesn't work, it doesn't work. But keep in mind we are Seniors, so there is no "next year" to go to Prom. And of course I don't want to go back to dating her after Prom, what good would that do? Three months after that we would be going to college anyway and I have no intention of keeping a relationship from HS into college. I simply want to be able to get over her and make her KNOW I'm over her and be able to go with her to prom truly as just a friend. And she would never agree to such a thing if she believed I was still some clingy ex-boyfriend.

I'd also just like to reinforce something that I feel was understated earlier. We are in no way on bad terms or just sort of disrespecting each other, we still smile/wave at each other in the hallway if we see each other. We simply have not TALKED since.

I know I may seem like I'm just trying to justify everything that's happened, well, I suppose I might be, but I'd like to get you to understand why I personally don't believe that she has entirely moved on. She specifically told me that she had been very stressed with trying to figure out how to balance everything and I have reason to trust that because the entire week and a half before that, she hadn't been acting how she usually did. Her mind was obviously trying to work out many things at once. Is it that hard to believe that a girl needed time to herself? Yes, of course the reasons someone would get stressed or busy in high school, but at the time they are happening for us, right now, they are the most difficult and stressful times we have yet experienced in our lives.

Remember we don't have the experiences from the rest of our lives yet as you likely do.

Well now that that's settled, and I've proven to be THAT guy who gives WAY too many details... I await any further input and helpful advice that can assist my process of moving on.

Thanks a million guys!

Listen brother, I'm going to tell you like this. Keep it moving and get acquainted with another female. Take another girl to prom or go alone you will not be alone plenty of girls will be alone. High school is almost over pal and as you stated you don't want to date her going into college, so why dwell on it?

 

[astonmartinone77]

Listen brother, I'm going to tell you like this. Keep it moving and get acquainted with another female. Take another girl to prom or go alone you will not be alone plenty of girls will be alone. High school is almost over pal and as you stated you don't want to date her going into college, so why dwell on it?

Yeah, this is true. I had a sort of realization, if you will, last night.

I was just thinking and thinking and thinking about the whole situation and realized that we really sort of screwed up any hope to get back together with how it ended.

Things just got awkward and uncomfortable. For no reason, may I add.

So even as stupid as it sounds and as frustrating that it is, I really just need to move on now because there really isn't much hope for it anyways.

I am actually considering breaking NC to text her and tell her what I've discovered and that I am no longer waiting on her. This can have a few outcomes that I can see.
One is that she will feel more comfortable being just friends with me if she knows that I won't try to get back together with her.
She might even miss me more by realizing that I'm not even trying to be with her anymore, and I'm actually trying pretty hard to move on.

Who knows. My logic could be ****, but it sure made tons of sense to me last night when I realized it.

Cheers, guys.

 

[Placidd]

Honestly? I think you have done everything tight so far. Bottom line? She is unsure of what she wants - you are not. Don't wait around. I would date all the girls I could....and if you are in a realtionship whens "she decides" she wants to date you? Too bad for her.

If you are not? Maybe give her a whirl. But don't get hung up on this one girl.....don't wait for her to make her mind up - life is too short.

If she approaches again, be friendly, be polite, be INDIFFERENT. Treat her like you would a chubby homely girl - politely, but showing no interest.

I gotcha! thanks a lot, and I will do so in the future. :yes: One thing I am confused with is why she would be confused with what she wants?

I understand that she said she would give me space until I was ready, meaning that when i was ready I would reach out..is that why youre saying she doesnt know, because she did that?

some of my friends (BOTH guys and girls) say that she screwed up by doing that which I agree to, and that since they dont know her the reason isnt clear. They say it could either be that she is seeing if she can keep me around, or she is over it and was just being both friendly and oblivious to how I would be feeling.

I know for one that if I turned someone down and they needed space I would wave, say hi, and still be on my way. I wouldnt go up and talk to the person...maybe the culture in europe is different? Im not sure, all I know is that Ive been happier with her out of the picture since she ended things. since I cant have her as a lover then I'd rather not have her at all, and her action just mindf*cked me.

I dont want her in my life because to me since I havent forgiven her completely I see her as "something I lost", and I dont want to think that when I am trying to meet other people. like you said if she does decide to come around then whatever. but I should be seeing other people, which is what im doing right now (or at least meeting other girls).

 

[L_T_D313]

Yeah, this is true. I had a sort of realization, if you will, last night.

I was just thinking and thinking and thinking about the whole situation and realized that we really sort of screwed up any hope to get back together with how it ended.

Things just got awkward and uncomfortable. For no reason, may I add.

So even as stupid as it sounds and as frustrating that it is, I really just need to move on now because there really isn't much hope for it anyways.

I am actually considering breaking NC to text her and tell her what I've discovered and that I am no longer waiting on her. This can have a few outcomes that I can see.
One is that she will feel more comfortable being just friends with me if she knows that I won't try to get back together with her.
She might even miss me more by realizing that I'm not even trying to be with her anymore, and I'm actually trying pretty hard to move on.

Who knows. My logic could be ****, but it sure made tons of sense to me last night when I realized it.

Cheers, guys.

I went through all of this three years ago in my junior year of hs. We
stopped dating/speaking then became friends.

During that summer going into my senior year she moved. Then during December 2012 she came back we fooled around got back together. Guess why I'm here now. Trust me it's not even worth it bro.

I'm a freshman in college and there is tonss of girls it's crazy. Thing is I'm at a CC so imagine a uni. Just keep it pushing. I assume you graduate in may.

Little time left just keep walking by her I know how it is. We used to do it all the time I basically can tell you how many cracks the floor had looking down to avoie eye contact. Laughing hard with your friends when she's around to make her believe you feel better without her. I know the pains. Keep it moving though bro. -Lo

 

[astonmartinone77]

So yeah, I've basically just decided that I accept that she does not want me back now with the way she had been avoiding me and everything. The reason I was confused and wanted to wait for her was because she told me that things could change. But I realize now that this was likely just a way she could keep me waiting on her in case she needed me.

As painful as it is to see how good we were and literally overnight change for no reason, I accept that that happened now. I also accept that this has pretty much hurt any chances of getting back with her. Even though it kills me to say it.

I mean think about it, if things suddenly got awkward to the point where you didn't know what to say and just weren't comfortable around each other, why would that suddenly change the second you get back together.

I really feel the need to let her know that I have come to this realization and that I will not be waiting for her to talk to me again before I move on. It's taken me long enough to realize that it was useless to do so.

Of course the memories of how things were is going to kill me for the foreseeable future. Like how things would just feel better if I were doing them with her, and how I feel that I'm missing something in my life without her.

Again, that won't change, so I just needed to accept what happened and what she wants and I need to move on now. The timing was horrific, but I suppose it's better to have this happen now than to deal with this once we are in college.

Keeping my hopes high at the moment, no matter how dismal the past and present seem.

 

[astonmartinone77]

I went through all of this three years ago in my junior year of hs. We
stopped dating/speaking then became friends.

During that summer going into my senior year she moved. Then during December 2012 she came back we fooled around got back together. Guess why I'm here now. Trust me it's not even worth it bro.

I'm a freshman in college and there is tonss of girls it's crazy. Thing is I'm at a CC so imagine a uni. Just keep it pushing. I assume you graduate in may.

Little time left just keep walking by her I know how it is. We used to do it all the time I basically can tell you how many cracks the floor had looking down to avoie eye contact. Laughing hard with your friends when she's around to make her believe you feel better without her. I know the pains. Keep it moving though bro. -Lo

Thanks so much for the response. I unfortunately posted my last message before I read this but yeah. It's like I know that I absolutely need to move on, it's just that I'm subconsciously reluctant to forget all the pleasant memories I had and any small thing I associated with her just brings them all back. Even small things, like whenever I look at the glove compartment of my car, that reminds me of her because one time she tried to sleep in my car on the way home from a late movie and she left some light dirt marks on it that I had to wipe off. It sounds so stupid, but it's these little things that are killing me and making it hard to move on.

Also the big events that happen at school such as assemblies and prom and finals and graduation... it's like I feel like I want to talk to her about these things and experience them together, but I need to stop myself and remember that there is no need to think this way.

And a small update from today so far (I'm on an open period right now) I haven't seen her in school at all which is making me wonder if she has changed up her paths she takes to certain classes which of course I should love because I don't need to see her, but it's this subconscious thing that keeps coming up where I'd like to know what she's doing.

Well, yet again, I've accomplished writing much more than I needed to to get my point across, but whatever. I hope it's not too hard to follow.

Thanks again!

 

[L_T_D313]

Thanks so much for the response. I unfortunately posted my last message before I read this but yeah. It's like I know that I absolutely need to move on, it's just that I'm subconsciously reluctant to forget all the pleasant memories I had and any small thing I associated with her just brings them all back. Even small things, like whenever I look at the glove compartment of my car, that reminds me of her because one time she tried to sleep in my car on the way home from a late movie and she left some light dirt marks on it that I had to wipe off. It sounds so stupid, but it's these little things that are killing me and making it hard to move on.

Also the big events that happen at school such as assemblies and prom and finals and graduation... it's like I feel like I want to talk to her about these things and experience them together, but I need to stop myself and remember that there is no need to think this way.

And a small update from today so far (I'm on an open period right now) I haven't seen her in school at all which is making me wonder if she has changed up her paths she takes to certain classes which of course I should love because I don't need to see her, but it's this subconscious thing that keeps coming up where I'd like to know what she's doing.

Well, yet again, I've accomplished writing much more than I needed to to get my point across, but whatever. I hope it's not too hard to follow.

Thanks again!

No problem, I know how it feels when everything you do reminds you of her. It's gonna happen, but eventually those memories will just be images flashing by. There are billions of women in the planet nothing is special about this one.

She isn't the only person with her name for a reason, because there are plenty of girls just like her. We're wayy to young to be tied down brother these girls don't know what they want neither do we.

This is what I've had to learn I'm 59 days nc. During the beginning I only wanted her. I'm overher now. I recently wanted to contact her but thanks to the helpful posters here I didn't.

One more thing. Never break NC unless it's due to business you'll never hear what you want to and you'll set yourself back.

 

[Boscus]

Day 19

Hey guys, was out last night, kiss closed two women, everything was going good.I was drinking a bit as well.

Today I need help, I feel like contacting her, I know I shouldn't, but I just want to say Hi to her and reach out, Guys please snap me out of this!

 

[astonmartinone77]

No problem, I know how it feels when everything you do reminds you of her. It's gonna happen, but eventually those memories will just be images flashing by. There are billions of women in the planet nothing is special about this one.

She isn't the only person with her name for a reason, because there are plenty of girls just like her. We're wayy to young to be tied down brother these girls don't know what they want neither do we.

This is what I've had to learn I'm 59 days nc. During the beginning I only wanted her. I'm overher now. I recently wanted to contact her but thanks to the helpful posters here I didn't.

One more thing. Never break NC unless it's due to business you'll never hear what you want to and you'll set yourself back.

Yep! The thing is that I really don't want to hear anything from her. I just feel this need to tell her that so she isn't under the impression that I am still chasing her when I'm not. Of course I'd like to still be but the time for that was over when things got awkward.

And one more thing, at the end of the day today, I saw her and she smiled at me and then one of my friends (who she happens to hate) came up and started talking to me. Now here is where my overthinking brain comes in. At the time I was like "okay, good, she doesn't hate me" but now my mind is trying to tell me that I was just sort of ignoring all the other details at the time and she actually didn't smile at you, and she was smiling at someone else or something.

Thanks again for the advice and support, it's really great to hear from someone else's experiences especially when they are similar to what I am going through.

 

[Exoduso]

Hey guys, was out last night, kiss closed two women, everything was going good.I was drinking a bit as well.

Today I need help, I feel like contacting her, I know I shouldn't, but I just want to say Hi to her and reach out, Guys please snap me out of this!

It seems like you had a fun night, that moves you forward and past where you were the day before. Contacting her now will only set back the progress you just made, do you really want to do that to yourself?
Just think ahead and realize that conversing with her will not only lead you nowhere, but it will also toss you back several weeks/months, depending on the extent of the conversation.
I can speak from experience that it can only **** you over if you keep contacting her. My ex broke up with me towards the end of October, and I kept chasing her and trying to contact her like an idiot every 2-3 weeks and it only kept me back and held me from progressing.

On my birthday a month ago she contacted me after I sent her a text that night saying that I was at least expecting a text from her (another idiotic move by me) but after the brief conversation we had on the phone that night, I decided that I'm cutting her out for good regardless of how bad it's gonna itch to pick up that phone. I needed to truly start moving on.
I'm currently on Day 37 and I'm only now starting to feel like I can talk to girls and start going out on dates. I still think about her briefly, she still comes up in my dreams sometimes, but I'm doing a lot better. Some of my friends also see her once in a while, but I asked everyone to keep any and all news about her to themselves, as I'm simply not interested anymore. It's been very empowering to finally take back control over my life.

So with all that being said, FVCK her and do not contact her ever again. It's her loss.

 

[Boscus]

It seems like you had a fun night, that moves you forward and past where you were the day before. Contacting her now will only set back the progress you just made, do you really want to do that to yourself?
Just think ahead and realize that conversing with her will not only lead you nowhere, but it will also toss you back several weeks/months, depending on the extent of the conversation.
I can speak from experience that it can only **** you over if you keep contacting her. My ex broke up with me towards the end of October, and I kept chasing her and trying to contact her like an idiot every 2-3 weeks and it only kept me back and held me from progressing.

On my birthday a month ago she contacted me after I sent her a text that night saying that I was at least expecting a text from her (another idiotic move by me) but after the brief conversation we had on the phone that night, I decided that I'm cutting her out for good regardless of how bad it's gonna itch to pick up that phone. I needed to truly start moving on.
I'm currently on Day 37 and I'm only now starting to feel like I can talk to girls and start going out on dates. I still think about her briefly, she still comes up in my dreams sometimes, but I'm doing a lot better. Some of my friends also see her once in a while, but I asked everyone to keep any and all news about her to themselves, as I'm simply not interested anymore. It's been very empowering to finally take back control over my life.

So with all that being said, FVCK her and do not contact her ever again. It's her loss.

Thanks man! That's exactly what I needed to hear!

It's funny how my male logic brain thinks, oh if I contact her, maybe she'll realise it and come back, and come to her senses, it really helps you come to terms with how females think, they do NOT think like us, they are illogic.

Forums like these are great, because you can vent here, instead of making yourself look like a fool by contacting your ex!

I haven't seen her for 4 months, but we haven't communicated in 19 days

I'll do this! I will not contact her ever again. So, really it's 60 days to forever...

good luck guys

 

[Exoduso]

Thanks man! That's exactly what I needed to hear!

It's funny how my male logic brain thinks, oh if I contact her, maybe she'll realise it and come back, and come to her senses, it really helps you come to terms with how females think, they do NOT think like us, they are illogic.

Forums like these are great, because you can vent here, instead of making yourself look like a fool by contacting your ex!

I haven't seen her for 4 months, but we haven't communicated in 19 days

I'll do this! I will not contact her ever again. So, really it's 60 days to forever...

good luck guys

Glad I knocked some sense into you. Honestly by writing what I did, I felt like I was being empowered at the same time. I've been struggling with this issue just as much as you, trust me, and most people here are going through similalr things as well.

Like you said though, the most important thing to realize is that they really do not think like us, and what we think will be reasonable and logical, simply goes past them like air.

I would literally have 3 hour conversations with my ex after we broke up, she'll agree to everything I say, but then at the end say that she still thinks we shouldn't be together.

I haven't physically seen her since early December, so about 4 months now, and we've been on NC for 37 days like I mentioned. I purposely stay away from places where I know she'll be, and it works out like a charm so far. Every day that passes makes it easier, and once you start letting go and start going out on a date or two with a different girl, you'll realize how absurd you chasing your ex really is. I'm glad I'm starting to come to my senses and have my eyes 'opened', because I've always been the nice guy in my relationships and it ended up biting me in the ass EVERY SINGLE TIME. About time I became the good guy instead.

 

[dagger90]

signing up!

allright...i was a wussbag. first gf. went out with her didnt do much kino and she dumped me. so heres the nc beginning for me... she wont come back but i will bloody get on with my life!

should i delete her messenger number too?? or else i m gonna keep on looking at her photo sometimes...

 

[Boscus]

It just so happens I have a new number, so she can't text or ring me. I have deleted her from skype. She still has my email, so she could write me an email, but doubtful. What do you guys think of this?

Moving on is the best thing a man can do...there are billions of women out there.... she is NOT special...

 

[L_T_D313]

Yep! The thing is that I really don't want to hear anything from her. I just feel this need to tell her that so she isn't under the impression that I am still chasing her when I'm not. Of course I'd like to still be but the time for that was over when things got awkward.

And one more thing, at the end of the day today, I saw her and she smiled at me and then one of my friends (who she happens to hate) came up and started talking to me. Now here is where my overthinking brain comes in. At the time I was like "okay, good, she doesn't hate me" but now my mind is trying to tell me that I was just sort of ignoring all the other details at the time and she actually didn't smile at you, and she was smiling at someone else or something.

Thanks again for the advice and support, it's really great to hear from someone else's experiences especially when they are similar to what I am going through.

No problem family. It'll take time to force yourself to realize she's gone, but eventually you'll accept it. Take it a day at a time, and if you need to talk I'm here bro.