Need Male Insight.....
I am a 40 yr old women. I was seeing a friend that I have known for 10 years. We were very good friends (sat next to each other at work for 3 years). There was always sexual chemistry back then but both were in relationships. Fast forward 7 years.. both divorced started seeing each other. The problem was I knew him. He always cheated on his wife/girlfriends in the past. He is very good looking, but insecure and is very charismatic so has never had an issue with girls falling all over him. But I thought he had changed. He had been thru some things that seemed to make him much more humble. We worked somewhere we made crazy money, over 6 fixgures. He had blown all of his savings on divorce, house, etc. He was now living with a friend and broke. I was doing very well still, nice house, car, money in the bank. The crazy money was over but doing very well for myself. So we saw each other for about 4 months a lot. I played it very cool. However, one day he told me not to freak out but he was going to have coffee and see a movie with his ex wife. They had been friends from college and he had felt very bad to how bad he treated her. They have been friends for about six months at this point since he moved back in town before we started seeing each other.
However, I was not cool with that. I broke up with him and he begged me not to. He said I had to trust him and that nothing was going on but whomever he ended up with was going to have to understand that they are friends. I stayed strong as the more the begged the stronger I felt. That was on a Friday, then on Monday he reached out to me to see if I was happy with my decision. I said yes, that it was a respect thing for me. He said he did not want me to worry about getting hurt and understood however he thought we should remain friends as we would want something rather than nothing. I said no.... He said he would give me my space then. 2 days later he texted me. So the next day I email him telling him I am not changing my mind. He emailed me back and said he respected that and I deserve someone who could give me 100% of myself and he was so sorry that was not him. Wished me the best. That is when everything changed for me. I was no longer strong. I was going insane. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake and wanted him back! So about a week after that email I went to his work and we went to lunch. He said he wanted us to stay friends but he needed to work on his life right now and he was not in a place where he could make someone happy. So the friends began, I was miserable. We talked all the time. I would watch his dog, he would watch mine. This lasted for 3 months. We slept together twice during this time. The first I got drunk and he dropped everything to pick me up (he was playing golf) and the 2nd I had asked him if we could get together and talk. The 2nd time is when I asked him if he was seeing anyone else. He told me yes, but not to worry it would not last. She was a girl that was slutty (and had even slept with several of his friends). I was very upset. However we still ended up sleeping together and I was so mad at myself as I am not like that. That was dec 14, on dec 18th I sent him an email that I was done and wanted no further contact. that I got the closure I needed and was able to go on a date an actually have a good time. I had been dating a lot but it always made me feel worse and he knew that. He replied and said he understood and told me he would always be here for me.
On Christmas he sent me a text. I was like wtf.. but I still replied and said you too. Three days later he called me while I was on a ski trip. I was on the lift and the connection was bad but he was being soooo nice. Asking me if I needed him to look after my house or dog. I said no. The next night drunk I texted him and asked him WTH. He said he and her were no longer seeing each other and wished I was there. He asked if I could go to lunch when I got back. So we did and started seeing each other again. This time seemed different. We were seeing each other a ton. I was not initiating contact but being very nice and available when he did. He even asked several times if something was wrong. I said no.
So about that girl... they had not talked, text, no longer FB Friends or anything for 30 days. On day 30 she showed up at his house, crying, begging, etc. He told her he was seeing me again and when he went to the bathroom he caught her looking thru his phone at our texts. He kicked her out. Told me everything. Another good 30 days go by. Then one morning (that I did not hear from him the night before which was very odd) he became friends with her again on FB. He was not at work (we work for same company not same location so I can see when he is in our company IM). So at first I texted him is everything okay since he was not at work.. he responded right back he was in training.. being completely normal... so I texted him with a picture of the newsfeed showing he became her friend again. and asked if he saw her and if so did he sleep with her. He texted back a face that means eek... so I said I deserve an honest answer. He waited awhile then texted "Yep" that was it.
I was so mad. Did not respond at all. A week later went out on a date got drunk, ended up texting him. We went back and forth and he said he did not do anything to intentionally hurt me. I asked him to meet me so we could at least end as friends... he said no. I was so shocked. A few days later I went to a ST patricks huge party got hammered... ditched my date and texted him... no response. The next day was my 40th bday.. nothing from him... The next weekend was my 40th party. I posted very hot pictures on FB.. Few hours after I posted them I got a text... totally shocked me. Basically saying happy belated birthday.. he hoped my bday party was awesome. he had been sick for the last 2 weeks with an intestional virus and was currently in OK with his brother. He said sorry he missed my party and that he would start paying me back end of April (he had borrowed 4400 from me for a custody dispute and DUI). I responded with a long pathetic text about why he did this and I felt so unimportant to him... pathetic.. asked if she was pregnant and the only response to the entire text was no she was not pregnant. So that is my pathetic story. 1 month since the BU, 3 weeks since I reached out to him, 2 weeks since my pathetic response to his text. ... Nothing since.
Just to let you guys know about girls. I have not slept with anyone since I met him. even during the 1st break up. I have went out with a lot of guys but it always makes me miss him more. Girls are different that way. I have been keeping busy working on myself. I started hot yoga and look amazing. Guys tell me I look 28. I have no problems getting dates at all. The problem is I think about him. I know I fell for him so hard because we had such a past. He told me everything. I know that he never lied to me... each time I asked him he told me the truth. in his past relationships he always lied, lied, lied.
So guys know that just because she is going out with guys if she had feelings for you it probably makes her miss you more. At least it does for me.
If anyone read this way too long post. I would love insight. I promise I will never post something so long. But it felt so good typing the entire pathetic relationship out.
